What are you doing with your other kids for hospital stay?

Finner

31 weeks now. I live far from close family so will think in the next few weeks about arranging a friend to come watch my son when I go into labour. What are your plans?

Got very emotional today (stupid pregnancy hormones) about the idea of being away from my son for the length of time I'm in hospital. Obviously que sera sera and he will be fine being looked after by someone else but it's still hard for me to imagine! I work part-time and so we spend a lot of time together and so it will be strange especially if I end up having a c section I'll be in for longer and if they induce me longer again before that.

It's all just starting to feel more real!

lazygal

I'm also 31 weeks pregnant. My two children are five and six. My husband will taken paternity leave and annual leave and our minder will care for the children as usual after school. I will be having a section and planning, all going well, to discharge myself as early as possible, last time I got home after four nights. I have family I can call on if absolutely essential but hoping to avoid this so they're in the usual routine. My husband will bring the children in to see their new sibling one or two of the days as well.

Cakerbaker

My mother is retired so came to stay for a while around my due date. I did think it was a bit OTT at the time but my husband was worried I’d go into labour while he was at work and he wouldn’t have time to get home to get me to turn around and take me back into Holles St. In the end we were glad she was there as everything kicked off very quickly and we’d have been pushing it to get in on time if we’d have had to drop our son off or wait for someone to come.

I was on the Domino scheme so was out of hospital the following morning. Was great not to be away from my son for long.

catrionanic

You could make use of the early transfer home scheme if it's available in your hospital? Although a few nights away from your son might give you more time to recover and to bond with the new baba.


I'm a bit nervous about getting into hospital on time. Several midwives and an obstetrician have told me they would expect my next labour to be fast, and to come straight in once it starts. But my family are a good 2-2.5 hours away, so it may be the case that I have to make my own way into hospital and my husband stays with our one year old until they get here. I do have a few friends I could ask, but they all work full-time so wouldn't be able to just drop everything.

I'm doing domino scheme this time though, all being well, so will only be away for a night maximum. I would probably prefer a couple of nights in hospital just to get my head around everything, as there'll be no rest at all when I'm home!

I really must get packing the hospital bag actually.

Digs

My family are only up the road so I’m lucky on that score but regardless I’ll be looking to get home as soon as someone is about to discharge me. I spent one night in on my first and hated it, I was out within hours after my second. I’m really hoping all goes well again and I can do the same.

Some with two at home look forward to the hospital stay for a break but I would hate it, just want to be at home in my own bed where there’s a chance of a bit of privacy and quiet. I’d imagine my folks will take the girls for the first night for us anyway. In general though I feel the same as you and wouldn’t like being away from them.

shesty

Thankfully my mum is ten mins away so called her on my second and third (at 4am) and she came.I was happy for her to mind them.I felt awful leaving my first too, and only stayed one night in hospital.By the time the due date came for my third, I was rather happy to think of someone else cooking for me and being able to lie down/sit for a couple of days and decided to stay two nights (also I was semi private so might aswell make use of the insurance!!).I also felt in hindsight that the extra day/night to physically recover was a good idea, as when you get home you can't help but get sucked into getting up and down, and helping the others, specially if they are small.Ended up staying three nights due to antibiotics, and believe me that was my limit.I like my privacy and had an extended stay of ten days during the first fortnight on my first, which has pretty much ticked the 'time in hospital' box for me for a long time Far less guilt the third time, possibly because the first two have each other.

I have a few friends who brought their first to the hospital with them, and they were picked up from the hospital by family.Would that be an option for you?

zoe 3619

Husband drove me to the hospital with the first in the car.Once they'd had a quick look and sent me upstairs he headed away to take the young lad to a friend.
Not ideal,he missed the birth (don't think that bothered either of us,but it might be important to you),but was back soon after.
Husband minded child for the day or two I was in hospital and visited often.
In hindsight I'd have grabbed an extra day in hospital cuddling the newborn and being cooked for.

Finner

Thanks for all the advice. I think part of it is the not knowing. We'll have to make a plan for a few eventualities. Like if it's the middle of the night hopefully a friend can come over and stay in the house and my sister or husband's family can come up the next day to take over or if it's the middle of the day we could bring my son with us and meet a family member there as the hospital is half way between our house and theirs. I know what some of you mean. I ended up in hospital five days with the first and I couldn't wait to get out of there, on a ward with six other people and not a lot of privacy isn't very conducive to recovering and getting used to motherhood. Although as you say it will be hard to not get sucked into things at home I think I'll be glad to get back to own bed and a bit of normality whatever that means anymore! must finish packing the bag too! I am much more chilled out second time around - maybe too much!!!

Digs

Finner wrote: »

Thanks for all the advice. I think part of it is the not knowing. We'll have to make a plan for a few eventualities. Like if it's the middle of the night hopefully a friend can come over and stay in the house and my sister or husband's family can come up the next day to take over or if it's the middle of the day we could bring my son with us and meet a family member there as the hospital is half way between our house and theirs. I know what some of you mean. I ended up in hospital five days with the first and I couldn't wait to get out of there, on a ward with six other people and not a lot of privacy isn't very conducive to recovering and getting used to motherhood. Although as you say it will be hard to not get sucked into things at home I think I'll be glad to get back to own bed and a bit of normality whatever that means anymore! must finish packing the bag too! I am much more chilled out second time around - maybe too much!!!

The not knowing is definitely the killer, whether it’s your first or your tenth I think! I have had extremely fast labours and while pregnant on my second the hospital assured me to bring #1 in with us if we were stuck and to figure it out from there. As it happened I went overdue (again!!) so my folks happened to have her already with them when I went in so it wasn’t an issue but don’t be afraid to bring him in with you. It will all work out and people will be only too willing to help you out if they can! Being chilled out is a definite plus, I’ll be lucky if I have a vest bought by this time this poor baby arrives no harm!

shesty

It's the beds that do my head in.
Sitting and feeding a baby in those beds kills me after about 24 hours.I could FEEL the iron bar of the frame through the mattress this time round.So uncomfortable, and the chairs are useless for feeding in.I can't wait to get to my own bed.
Second time round you have some iota of what you're doing, so you are a bit more comfortable with the baby.But I can totally identify with the stress of being stuck in a hospital cubicle for several days and being a first time mother.It's awful.It was definitely better second and third time.