Would you stand by him?

freshpopcorn

If a man in your life was accused of rape and it ended up in court. Be it a partner/friend/brother/son/friend/etc. Would you stand by him?
I ask this because I have heard some people say no woman would put themselves through a trial if it didn't happen.
Well obviously it would depend on the person but if they told me they didn't do it. I'd believe them. If there was a lot of evidence I might change my mind and some people I might be more dodge of than others.
I know this question can be turned the other way also.

super_furry

Sometimes it's hard to be a woman.

eviltwin

If he admitted it absolutely not.

Avatar MIA

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Well obviously it would depend on the person but if they told me they didn't do it. I'd believe them.

That's strange, because they would have a huge incentive to lie if they had done it. Why do you think you're special in that a rapist wouldn't lie to you?

Kevin Finnerty

I know if my partner was accused of rape I'd stand by her once she told me the truth.

Donald Trump

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I know this question can be turned the other way also.

Other way?

i.e. Would you stand by a man if he wasn't accused of rape?


:eek:

LaChatteGitane

If he said he didn't do it, I would be able to see if he was telling lies or not. Depending, I would or would not be standing by him.

When the OH is telling porkies (which happens from time to time), I just know.

Donald Trump

Kevin Finnerty wrote: »

I know if my partner was accused of rape I'd stand by her once she told me the truth.

Your missus did some bold things to me




I told her no




She wouldn't stop


What's worse is that she does them every time I come over.


Which is a few times a week

Basically whenever you're not about

freshpopcorn

Donald Trump wrote: »

Other way?

i.e. Would you stand by a man if he wasn't accused of rape?


:eek:

I meant more so would you believe a female friend/etc who said she was raped.

freshpopcorn

Avatar MIA wrote: »

That's strange, because they would have a huge incentive to lie if they had done it. Why do you think you're special in that a rapist wouldn't lie to you?

As I said it would depend on the person but some people I know when they are lying and others I find hard to believe because I know them.

Mocha Joe

Donald Trump wrote: »

Your missus did some bold things to me




I told her no




She wouldn't stop


What's worse is that she does them every time I come over.


Which is a few times a week

Basically whenever you're not about

Thats very unfunny. Not offensive or edgy or anything. Just very very unfunny.

Obi_Wan_Kenobi

Pearsons is open ?

freshpopcorn

eviltwin wrote: »

If he admitted it absolutely not.

If he said he was innocent tough?

Cleopatra_

It really depends on the circumstances and the evidence and whether I believe he did it or not. If I felt he did it or the evidence was overwhelming then I don't think I could stand by him.

Donald Trump

Mocha Joe wrote: »

Thats very unfunny. Not offensive or edgy or anything. Just very very unfunny.

Life isn't funny.

OldMrBrennan83

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freshpopcorn

Patww79 wrote: »

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So, you wouldn't support your son/brother/best friend if they were accused of a crime?
Would you go to court with them etc?

OldMrBrennan83

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freshpopcorn

Patww79 wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

Sorry I must have misread the post.

OldMrBrennan83

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Squall Leonhart

Patww79 wrote:

This post has been deleted.

A person being found guilty of a crime doesn't always mean the person is guilty. If a brother or son or whoever swore blind to me that they were innocent of said crime, and if I believed them, I don't know that a guilty verdict would change that belief.

Now if its PROVEN to be guilty, that's different.

Kevin Finnerty

Donald Trump wrote: »

Your missus did some bold things to me




I told her no




She wouldn't stop


What's worse is that she does them every time I come over.


Which is a few times a week

Basically whenever you're not about

Is this an attempt at humour? Jaysus.

Greentopia

freshpopcorn wrote: »

If a man in your life was accused of rape and it ended up in court. Be it a partner/friend/brother/son/friend/etc. Would you stand by him?
I ask this because I have heard some people say no woman would put themselves through a trial if it didn't happen.
Well obviously it would depend on the person but if they told me they didn't do it. I'd believe them. If there was a lot of evidence I might change my mind and some people I might be more dodge of than others.
I know this question can be turned the other way also.

If it was my partner I'd know if he was lying or not. If he did it it would be bye bye. He'd be dead to me. If I knew he was telling the truth and didn't do it of course I'd stand by him. Same with a friend. No male relatives.

If a partner or friend lied to me and it turned out he was guilty of rape of course it would be the end of the relationship/friendship. What normal sane person would want to stay in a relationship/stay friends with a convicted rapist?

freshpopcorn

Greentopia wrote: »

If a partner or friend lied to me and it turned out he was guilty of rape of course it would be the end of the relationship/friendship. What normal sane person would want to stay in a relationship/stay friends with a convicted rapist?

That's actually a very good point. You often hear of people standing by convicted rapists in prison and when they get released.
I can't think of anybody I know who's being convicted of rape but I can think of somebody who's son was caught with a large amount of drugs. They'd have had the attitude jail him for life/etc but when it was their son it was totally different.
(I know these are different situations)

eviltwin

freshpopcorn wrote: »

If he said he was innocent tough?

I don't know tbh, I don't think it's as simple as just standing by them.

I have personal experience of this, a sibling was jailed for a sex offence. He denied it at first and I believed him because we were very close and I didn't think he was capable of such a thing. He later admitted he was guilty and it turned out his actions were more serious than we first thought so I'm never going to have complete faith in anyone again.

Every rapist is a son, brother, partner etc

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

Westernyelp

Donald Trump wrote:

Your missus did some bold things to me

Donald Trump wrote:

I told her no

Donald Trump wrote:

She wouldn't stop

Donald Trump wrote:

What's worse is that she does them every time I come over.

Donald Trump wrote:

Which is a few times a week

Donald Trump wrote:

Basically whenever you're not about

You are getting to be worse than the that real AHole in the white house. Not funny. Yawwwwwn

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

Squall Leonhart

Patww79 wrote:

This post has been deleted.

Presumably he's posting from his phone on the app and when you tap a post to quote it, it picks each paragraph separately. Bad glitch of the app.

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

Westernyelp

Patww79 wrote:

This post has been deleted.

Didn't think I did. It does it on the phone sometimes. But thanks for going to the effort of correcting me!

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

blade1

LaChatteGitane wrote: »

If he said he didn't do it, I would be able to see if he was telling lies or not. Depending, I would or would not be standing by him.

When the OH is telling porkies (which happens from time to time), I just know.

Porkies are a bit different to when he is fighting for his life.

begbysback

Donald Trump wrote: »

Life isn't funny.

You didn't go see Bill Burr a couple of weeks back?

Westernyelp

Fair enough. I have been meaning to to ask Donald when he is going to get bored of the unfunny schtick for a while also.

Edit. See in this case the phone dropped your quote completely!

paw patrol

if they were a good friend (I've about 5) or close family. I'd stand by them regardless.
You can support somebody and still find the crime abhorrent and be vocal on your feeling regarding the crime

If we all rejected people cos of their crimes (or alleged crimes) you pretty much close the door on any rehabilitation and that does nobody any good.

On a personal level , I find it hard to judge somebody's entire worth based on one event , be that good or bad, if I've known them before that.

LaChatteGitane

blade1 wrote: »

Porkies are a bit different to when he is fighting for his life.

Obviously ! Can tell when he (or anyone I know well) is lying.

Mocha Joe

Donald Trump wrote: »

Life isn't funny.

Ah it is. You're not.

FurBabyMomma

It really depends on the situation. Like for people who are child abusers, they are very secretive and manipulative when it comes to their victims and have them terrified into silence. And to the outside world they can be pillars of the community. They have everyone deceived, to the point that family members are shocked and can't/won't believe it. So I think saying "I'd know if s/he was lying to me" is an incredibly naive attitude.

Shenshen

paw patrol wrote: »

if they were a good friend (I've about 5) or close family. I'd stand by them regardless.
You can support somebody and still find the crime abhorrent and be vocal on your feeling regarding the crime

If we all rejected people cos of their crimes (or alleged crimes) you pretty much close the door on any rehabilitation and that does nobody any good.

On a personal level , I find it hard to judge somebody's entire worth based on one event , be that good or bad, if I've known them before that.

I was trying to find the right words to express my own opinion, but you've summarised it very well.
To me personally, it would far, far less depend on if they were guilty of what they're accused off, or if they admitted it. It would, if guilty, fully depend on how they behave now. Is he truly remorseful? Is he trying to make amends? Is he taking steps (counseling, for example, or stopping to drink if that played a part) to try and ensure it would never happen again?
Horrendous as it is, I don't think I would give up on someone I loved quite that easily.

Repeated offense, though, that would be very, very different indeed.

Donald Trump

Mocha Joe wrote: »

Ah it is. You're not.

I suppose it's hard to be jovial what with all the sand in your gee

Westernyelp

Donald Trump wrote:

Oh, yippee - another keyboard warrior

Do you know what irony is?

GreeBo

Squall Leonhart wrote: »

A person being found guilty of a crime doesn't always mean the person is guilty. If a brother or son or whoever swore blind to me that they were innocent of said crime, and if I believed them, I don't know that a guilty verdict would change that belief.

Now if its PROVEN to be guilty, that's different.

If you are found guilty it's because it has been proven, let's not have this innocent/not guilty nonsense again on here.

Shenshen

GreeBo wrote: »

If you are found guilty it's because it has been proven, let's not have this innocent/not guilty nonsense again on here.

Right, that's the reason we don't have some process in place to appeal a judgement, is it?

JMNolan

freshpopcorn wrote: »

If a man in your life was accused of rape and it ended up in court. Be it a partner/friend/brother/son/friend/etc. Would you stand by him?

If the man denied guilt then why wouldn't your stand by him?

Donald Trump

Joe is Woke wrote: »

You're just not funny. That's all.

I'm not here for your entertainment pal




You'll only be here for a little bit until they figure out why you were banned the last time anyway


:pac:

Donald Trump

Westernyelp wrote: »

Do you know what irony is?

Look it up there yourself

Westernyelp

Donald Trump wrote:

Look it up there yourself

Hmm. Maybe you are the real Donald

Sleeper12

freshpopcorn wrote:

If a man in your life was accused of rape and it ended up in court. Be it a partner/friend/brother/son/friend/etc. Would you stand by him? I ask this because I have heard some people say no woman would put themselves through a trial if it didn't happen. Well obviously it would depend on the person but if they told me they didn't do it. I'd believe them. If there was a lot of evidence I might change my mind and some people I might be more dodge of than others. I know this question can be turned the other way also.

I would stand by anyone in court as they are innocent till proven guilty. If convicted though that's a different matter.

Snugglebunnies

I've been in this situation, I didn't stand by him.

GreeBo

Shenshen wrote: »

Right, that's the reason we don't have some process in place to appeal a judgement, is it?

Joe is Woke wrote: »

Are you saying men have never been falsely imprisoned?

If you are found guilty then you are proven guilty.
I didn't say it means you did it.
Just that there is no difference between found and proven guilty.