Slut shaming men is fine but don't dare do it to a woman.

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

Ditto. And I don't believe for a second that a new mother wouldn't get the same reaction. Yep there are gender diffs as far as stuff like this goes, but IMHO this isn't one of them. And women are more likely to get "body shamed". Hell women's magazines and advertising does it on a daily basis.

That's how the fashion and beauty industries stay in business. First make people feel bad about themselves, then sell the (temporary) remedy. Beauty is an ugly business, people get so used to the vicious circle they don't even see it any more.

Wibbs

Candie wrote: »

That's how the fashion and beauty industries stay in business. First make people feel bad about themselves, then sell the (temporary) remedy.

+100, though I'd say one thing, not so much people C, almost entirely women.

Beauty is an ugly business

*nicks that*

people get so used to the vicious circle they don't even see it any more.

Again mostly women. And it's a machine honed to perfection. When women copped on to shampoo adds featuring women with extensions(what next haircare for men fronted by William Shatner? ) and "anti ageing"(that don't work) creams fronted by 16 year olds, the machine changed tack and rolled out the "real women" ballsology. It's also got feck all to do with men and what they might find attractive. As I've noted before; porn, mostly aimed at men, has more "diversity" of women's size, age, "race" in a weeks output than Vogue or Cosmo has had since their first edition. Though we're both climbing into the off topic toboggan here.

anewme

givyjoe wrote: »

This post is odd! What's he supposed to sell himself with considering what he was offering?! Someone else's body? That YOU, DO find attractive?!

Plenty of others have said his body is fine and wouldn't put them off, you've even thanked a post about not body shaming him.. yet you keep banging on about his 'fitness', or lack thereof.

I’m not banging on about anything.

Post said women think he’s ok and men don’t.

I’m a woman and don’t think he’s ok. He’s not anything you’d be flocking towards.

That’s not body shaming.

Guy looking for offers based on his body photo. Suppose it’s down to the individual.

Kinda shocked that ppl think he’s ok “for 42”.Have seen better 60 year old men and women.

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

+100, though I'd say one thing, not so much people C, almost entirely women.

They're gunning for men now, since every inch of womens bodies has been exploited and a product formulated to alievate the corresponding manufactured insecurity. I've seen a mens moisturizer advertised that promises to be 'anti-fatigue'. What does that even mean?

It's certainly mostly women now, but with young boys in their sights it's going to change - is changing. Thirty years ago men didn't use after shave balm or conditioner. They're a harder nut to crack since appearance is traditionally of greater value to women, but don't underestimate how vulnerable people are to advertising and imagery when they're targeted young enough.

Neyite

It looks like a selfie taken in a hurry - like when the wife is upstairs giving the newborn a feed.

Most babies grow out of a moses basket when they are about 8-10 weeks. My lad went into a cot at about 10 weeks and he was an average size baby. So I guess people are thinking he should be focused on his new baby and his wife's recovery from recent childbirth that going online looking for his hole.

Any decent hands on dad at that stage would barely manage a **** with the exhaustion of the newborn weeks, so he's likely one of those blokes who do fcuk all to help his wife with the child either.

By now she's probably seen it online or in the paper, and recognises him/ the house. I hope she's ok.

Cleopatra_

Candie wrote: »

They're gunning for men now, since every inch of womens bodies has been exploited and a product formulated to alievate the corresponding manufactured insecurity. I've seen a mens moisturizer advertised that promises to be 'anti-fatigue'. What does that even mean?

It's certainly mostly women now, but with young boys in their sights it's going to change - is changing. Thirty years ago men didn't use after shave balm or conditioner. They're a harder nut to crack since appearance is traditionally of greater value to women, but don't underestimate how vulnerable people are to advertising and imagery when they're targeted young enough.

Judging by this thread you can see that this guy's body is being scrutinised and found wanting, because he doesn't have a six pack, I guess? I'm not really sure what's being expected. I do think that women are more harshly judged for their appearance but men are also becoming more self-conscious in this gym crazy Instagram world.

keffiyeh

Annd9 wrote: »

Serious question for you online daters . Is this how it works nowadays ? As in , would he have been successful in his endeavours? I'm astonished to think it would be that easy .

"Asking for a friend."

Pac1Man

Neyite wrote: »

Any decent hands on dad at that stage would barely manage a **** with the exhaustion of the newborn weeks

- Sigmund Freud, 1921.

givyjoe

Wibbs wrote: »

Ditto. And I don't believe for a second that a new mother wouldn't get the same reaction...

Er... Did you miss the Twitter link to the bride to be?

MadDog76

There's no shame in being a slut....... that's what I've told every slut I've ever met.

Star Bingo

I remember some savage flut shaming around here. All the lad wanted was to lay some cable

JackieChang

The Highwayman wrote: »

So this story popped up online last night and it's in the Indo today. A guy wants a bit on the side gets on tinder.

https://m.independent.ie/entertainment/banter/trending/married-dublin-man-looking-for-an-affair-on-tinder-caught-with-shirtless-snap-with-moses-basket-in-the-background-37169762.html

Now this is being shared around and its obvious that the women involved want this man's wife or friends of her to see the pic so he's caught red handed.

No, I don't think he's the nicest guy in the world but this kind of witch hunt would not be tolerated if the genders were reversed. We see cucked men online being portrayed as modern partners to their wives. So why if a man does it is this allowed. The Indo publishing the pic was a real dick move. Naturally the story was written by a woman.

WTF is a Moses basket?

pickarooney

average_runner wrote: »

In fairness, there is a moses basket, which means kid is under 12 weeks, doubt any mother would leave a kid under 12 weeks for enough time for him to get his bit.

This is a PR stunt by Tinder

It could be there because they're putting it on eBay.

For Sale. Moses basket. Never used.

Sleeper12

JackieChang wrote: »

WTF is a Moses basket?

Tis where the baby sleeps

xzanti

Pretty scummy of him. Kids or no kids. If you're not happy then leave.

Dirty lookin' eejit.

mvl

wonder if independent is having some campaign on "cheating" - or would some of their editors be in couples therapy these days

https://www.independent.ie/style/celebrity/celebrity-features/holly-carpenter-my-heart-breaks-for-una-healy-if-cheating-rumours-are-true-women-who-get-with-married-men-as-bad-as-cheats-37182131.html

now this Holly - I don't know anything about what she achieved in her life - thinking she may be one of the "influencers" on social media ...
but the content of the article, and her outfit in the picture attached contradict each other ... as glancing over her words, she sounds so puritan ?!?

PS: couldn't read the entire article because of that :P

Sleeper12

mvl wrote:

now this Holly - I don't know anything about what she achieved in her life - thinking she may be one of the "influencers" on social media ... but the content of the article, and her outfit in the picture attached contradict each other ... as glancing over her words, she sounds so puritan ?!?

She's a model. Isn't she entitled to an opinion? Or are we stuck in the 50's where she shouldn't have an option?

mvl

of course she is: thats an opinion not worth my time !

PS: didn't know that was the reason these two separated until she had a big mouth and said it in this story, while bravely showing what she wears at the races

Sleeper12

mvl wrote:

of course she is: thats an opinion not worth my time !

Are you for real? You decide because of how she is dressed in a photo that her opinion is irrelevant? Wow what a small mind would come up with that

Sleeper12

I read the newspaper article again. You do know that she criticised both men and women. Both are pigs if they cheat.

What exactly is your objection?

mvl

i can give feedback, so that's why i posted it here: that article is miserable in my view.

Sleeper12

Sleeper12 wrote:

She's a model. Isn't she entitled to an opinion? Or are we stuck in the 50's where she shouldn't have an option?

mvl wrote:

of course she is: thats an opinion not worth my time !

Can't you see how moranic that is?

Have you actually read this article that you linked? She clearly said that both male and female are pigs. In fact women are worse.

You linked an article that I don't believe you understand but what exactly has she said that is wrong?

Instead of linking an entire article & sagging it off can you break down or explain exactly what part offends you?

Sleeper12

mvl wrote:

i can give feedback, so that's why i posted it here: that article is miserable in my view.

How? Why? All of it? Some of it?

A sweeping rejection of an article does not explain much

mvl

it appears to me she is using a situation to her own advantage in a way: she's not sure of it, cause she has it in the title "if rumours are true" - wtf, you ARE spreading rumours missy.

Sleeper12

mvl wrote:

it appears to me she is using a situation to her own advantage in a way: she's not sure of it, cause she has it in the title "if rumours are true" - wtf, you ARE spreading rumours missy.

You really don't want kn what you are talking about, do you.

Read the a again. She knows these people personally.

Also please explain how she is dressed adds or takes away from your opinion?

meeeeh

That's one the worst written articles I read in a long time.

Sleeper12

meeeeh wrote:

That's the worst written article I read in a long time.

OK. That's your opinion & I respect that. Why would you post that link on a thread where someone seems to want to cheat on his wife after having a new baby & the moron gets his new baby's moses basket in the photo.

Have you read this thread?

Your link has nothing to do with the thread

Really???

mvl

cause both links are about cheating related stories on independent ?!?

and we know where the discussion is on this: some are more conservative than others on this.

meeeeh

Sleeper12 wrote: »

OK. That's your opinion & I respect that. Why would you post that link on a thread where someone seems to want to cheat on his wife after having a new baby & the moron gets his new baby's moses basket in the photo.

Have you read this thread?

Your link has nothing to do with the thread

Really???

Huh???? What exactly are you on about? What did I post?

hatrickpatrick

I really, really, really hate that the phrase "slut shaming" is a blanket term for shaming the promiscuous and shaming the unfaithful. They're totally separate issues IMO. The former doesn't involve hurting anyone, the latter most certainly does. Shaming single people with no commitments for choosing to sleep around and ride seven different people in a night is scummy for sure, but shaming someone who betrays an emotional agreement they made with another person, knowing that that person would be hurt by such a betrayal, is totally different and personally I'd have no problem with it.

Being promiscuous is a victimless action. Cheating on somebody and breaking their heart is not. A "slut" is a term for the former, but a "cheat" is the term for the latter. Totally different ball game.

Sleeper12

mvl wrote:

cause both links are about cheating related stories on independent ?!?

So we have now established that you haven't read the thread. The title is slut shaming men but don't dare do it to a woman. How does your link refer to this in any way?

You do realise that Holly Carpenter is a gossip columnist and not a real news colum?

Sleeper12

meeeeh wrote:

Huh???? What exactly are you on about? What did I post?

My mistake. I'd meant to link to mvl and not you. Sorry

Sleeper12

hatrickpatrick wrote:

I really, really, really hate that the phrase "slut shaming" is a blanket term for shaming the promiscuous and shaming the unfaithful. They're totally separate issues IMO. The former doesn't involve hurting anyone, the latter most certainly does. Shaming single people with no commitments for choosing to sleep around and ride seven different people in a night is scummy for sure, but shaming someone who betrays an emotional agreement they made with another person, knowing that that person would be hurt by such a betrayal, is totally different and personally I'd have no problem with it.

So do I but we are limited to the thread title

hatrickpatrick

Sleeper12 wrote: »

So do I but we are limited to the thread title

But even the thread title itself is misleading. The article question isn't "slut shaming" anyone, it's mocking and shaming someone for lying and cheating to their partner. Totally fair game for either gender IMO. Slut shaming, on the other hand, shouldn't be fair game for anyone.

mvl

Sleeper12 wrote: »

So we have now established that you haven't read the thread. The title is slut shaming men but don't dare do it to a woman. How does your link refer to this in any way?

You do realise that Holly Carpenter is a gossip columnist and not a real news colum?

Well, you can get to this conclusion if you take any thread slogan too literal.
Which I don't, and maybe this is a mistake.

Actually I was contemplating if I should start a new thread, but then I thought - ahh - why bother creating another AH thread about cheating stories on independent.ie, we have a recent one here. But would create new thread next time, cause maybe this was not a great example.

I don't know who HC is. her story sounded way too conservative to me for her age; but ... having the particular dress code like in the picture suggests to me all married men in a room would check her out (so is that also cheating, according to her standards, or not).

Sleeper12

hatrickpatrick wrote: »

But even the thread title itself is misleading. The article question isn't "slut shaming" anyone, it's mocking and shaming someone for lying and cheating to their partner. Totally fair game for either gender IMO. Slut shaming, on the other hand, shouldn't be fair game for anyone.

Title thread is nothing more than click bait


What people don't get is that his photo wasn't shared around social media because he wanted to cheat on his wife. It was shared because he was so stupid for leaving the Moses basket in the photo.



If we wanted to "Slut shame" we could post many photos of men & women from the likes of Tinder. That's not why it was shared. That's not why it was in several newspapers. It was there because he was so stupid that it was funny.


Why some men need to fall over themselves being offended by someone sharing the photo is beyond me. It's nothing more than a funny photo & deserves to be on one of those ultimate fails videos on YouTube. I've seen many a photo of men & women from Tinder shared because their bedroom is like a pig sty. Again they are posted because the person in the photo is stupid

Sleeper12

mvl wrote: »

Well, you can get to this conclusion if you take any thread slogan too literal.
Which I don't, and maybe this is a mistake.

Actually I was contemplating if I should start a new thread, but then I thought - ahh - why bother creating another AH thread about cheating stories on independent.ie, we have a recent one here. But would create new thread next time, cause maybe this was not a great example.

I don't know who HC is. her story sounded way too conservative to me for her age; but ... having the particular dress code like in the picture suggests to me all married men in a room would check her out (so is that also cheating, according to her standards, or not).

You seem to be hung up on her clothing. She is a model (quite a famous one at that) & models tend to wear clothing like that. I was at a wedding last week & many of the female guests were dressed like that. It seems to be fashionable. You would have seen Kathy French wear the same type of clothes. It goes with the job

Holly Carpenter is an Irish model and beauty pageant titleholder who was crowned Miss Ireland 2011 on 13 August 2011. She represented Ireland in the Miss World 2011 pageant held on 6 November 2011 in London, England

mvl

Wow, that explains why she writes like that perfectly ... cause her job is in a different business !

But still, on the two independent stories on cheating ... listing some similarities
(for laugh)

Even if one husband is a commoner, and the other is a VIP, we have:
- A married couple with kids, faced with a cheating drama that should be private
- People make assumptions about the infidelity, so the wife is a victim
- The husband gets the blame for things we don't know for sure he committed
- Bottom line, we can see some Girl Code smell/behaviour with the article author, or other ladies on social media quoting the author.
Summary: both lady authors are taking side of the victim, and shaming the cheater, who is a man. But we haven't seen the same authors taking sides if the situation was reversed, have we ?
so here is your link to the thread title ?!?


To conclude, may I add a bit more info about a qualified view on infidelity (view that I concur with): there is this serious talk with Esther Perel I think worth the time to listen, if interested on the subject.
https://www.ted.com/talks/esther_perel_rethinking_infidelity_a_talk_for_anyone_who_has_ever_loved#t-1268386

There is some valid and contemporary advice there I would pass on to all wifes or husbands that have experienced infidelity, including Una ...

Sleeper12

mvl wrote:

Wow, that explains why she writes like that perfectly ... cause her job is in a different business !

I read it a few times and felt it would have been better if she was interviewed & they extracted the story that way. Not intending to knock her but she's not a good writer/journalist imo

Pac1Man

Ah let them away with it. Monogamy is not natural.

GingerLily

Pac1Man wrote: »

Ah let them away with it. Monogamy is not natural.

Almost nothing we do is natural anymore

I do have to laugh at using the phone or computer to say that stuff isn't natural

I should not have read that. My eyes hurt
Marriage breaks down. Woman moves on. Surely there's no more to it than that?