Are Irish people hard to make friends with?

JackieChang

A French lady told me today that Irish people are very "closed".

We are one of the "most friendly people in the world" on a Saturday night (drink obviously), but we'll never be seen again. Come Monday we don't want to hear about them.

She works in a big multinational corporation and is finding it hard to make friends with Irish colleagues.

I'm posting this as it's actually the millionth time I've heard this from a foreigner.

What do you think?

blazard

hahahahaha

Omackeral

No, sure didn't we fix all those cars at the Euros in France and sing lullabies to babies on the train and free those kidnapped girls from Boko Haram.

somefeen

JackieChang wrote: »

A French lady told me today that Irish people are very "closed".

We are one of the "most friendly people in the world" on a Saturday night (drink obviously), but we'll never be seen again. Come Monday we don't want to hear about them.

She works in a big multinational corporation and is finding it hard to make friends with Irish colleagues.

I'm posting this as it's actually the millionth time I've heard this from a foreigner.

What do you think?

Ya so what? Wanna fight about it??

JackieChang

I'd say ye're all steamed out of yer heads.

blazard

burp

flookdgates

The Ireland sub on Reddit literally had this discussion two days ago.

https://www.reddit.com/r/ireland/comments/931ugp/is_it_just_an_irish_thing_to_stay_friends_with/

It used to be Reddit stealing thread ideas from Boards. Now the tables have turned. It goes to show how badly Boards.ie has fallen.

punisher5112

French are extremely arrogant or so I've heard.

I've come across a few and they don't play ball the way one should..... Hand ball that is.

blazard

controversial

The Backwards Man

I'm your bread when you're hungry, I'm your shelter from troubled winds, I'm your anchor in life's ocean, but most of all, I'm Irish and I'm your best friend.

Omackeral

The Backwards Man wrote: »

I'm your bread when you're hungry, I'm your shelter from troubled winds, I'm your anchor in life's ocean, but most of all, I'm Irish and I'm your best friend.

Translation : Im locked like a Finglas door.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Well, how long do you tkae before you decide someone is your friend?

My experience with going out back home is that people were freidly and chatty for the most part, but it was all mostly small talk. It took a bit of time to get to the point where people would actually talk about something deep or personal.

Not sure if that's the same as "making friends" though as.

blazard

indeed

The Backwards Man

Omackeral wrote: »

Translation : Im locked like a Finglas door.

Close your eyes I'll be here in the morning, close your eyes I'll be here for a while

pleas advice

They could settle wars with this, if only they will, imagine the worlds leaders on pills...
Then imagine the morning after, wars causing disaster, don't talk to me I don't know ya, but this ain't tomorrow, for now I still love ya.

blazard

ships in the night,

Hitman3000

JackieChang wrote:

I'm posting this as it's actually the millionth time I've heard this from a foreigner.

You've actually talked to a million people?

Cina

The problem is that Ireland is so small that many people are still really good friends with their classmates and friends from their youth well into their 30's here due to how easy it is to keep close with them. It's not like vast/densely populated countries like the US where friends in your 20's are completely different to friends in your teens.

As such I think a lot of us have a tendency to stick to that group as opposed to actively seeking to make new friends. It doesn't mean we don't WANT to make new friends, it just means we won't make nearly as much of an effort as someone who.. say.. came over from a different country by themselves.

So yeah, I think unless you know the standard Irish person from childhood or through work, we can be difficult to make friends with, in our own country at least.

Stovepipe

snoop_catt wrote: »

we are the friendliest people on earth in a shallow superficial manner but twenty years later , you might not know us any better than that

in rural ireland its especially hard to make friends if your a blow in , locals dont even like folk from the next parish over , never mind if someone moved from louth to kerry , clannishness is incredible

Well, that's not confined to Ireland or the Irish. I've travelled widely and it varies hugely, from genuine openness in Texas and Melbourne, Australia to sullen faces in Belgium and France.

Donald Trump

Pixie heads

Graces7

You get a great effusive welcome, then that is it. Unless you stay close, even after great friendship, they literally forget you.

Wonderful for B and B and hotel contact. But for longer stays. :eek:

Hitman3000

snoop_catt wrote:

rural people have no interest in people who are from outside their locality , they dont judge people on who they are but who their people are

Utter nonsense. My family and I moved from a large town to a rural environment have made great friends here in a very short time.

Star Bingo

Donald Trump wrote: »

Pixie heads

Speak for your elf

Taytoland

Depends on what type of Irish people.

Mackmatic

Maybe this french bird is just a drip

Sal Butamol

Hitman3000 wrote: »

Utter nonsense. My family and I moved from a large town to a rural environment have made great friends here in a very short time.

A large town IS rural. Who are you kidding?

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

snoop_catt wrote: »

we are the friendliest people on earth in a shallow superficial manner but twenty years later , you might not know us any better than that

in rural ireland its especially hard to make friends if your a blow in , locals dont even like folk from the next parish over , never mind if someone moved from louth to kerry , clannishness is incredible

Not at all. I live in a rural area and new people to the area are always very welcome and most become part of the community very quickly.

super_furry

Compared to some we are definitely. If you meet an American out randomly and have the craic with them over the course of a night, they’d think nothing of asking for your number to hang out again or even invite you to a social event like a barbecue they’re having.

We’d think that’s weird.

Hitman3000

Sal Butamol wrote:

A large town IS rural. Who are you kidding?

Rural= characteristic of the countryside.
Now go out and play with your friends.

Shenshen

I'd say it mirrors my own experiences.

Irish people are very, very easy to talk to, have a bit of banter with, etc. But very, very hard to actually get to know. I sometimes think all the talk is just to hide the fact that really, they're about the most intensely private people I've ever come across.

victor8600

Shenshen wrote: »

Irish people are very, very easy to talk to, have a bit of banter with, etc. But very, very hard to actually get to know. I sometimes think all the talk is just to hide the fact that really, they're about the most intensely private people I've ever come across.

+1. Also I think the French lady in the OP may have a problem with making new friends because people in general make less friends after 30+. Friends are easy to make in school/college, but when you are short on time because of work and kids you do not want to invite random people to your place for a chat over a couple of beers.

ArchXStanton

We're way too cliquey

Cleopatra_

I think it's partially because people who come from a different country need to make an effort to make friends whereas the natives usually have friends that they made in school, college and work and so they aren't that bothered with making more friends. I think that's the case in most countries. The friendly attitude of Irish people initially masks this but like others have said, we're not easy to actually befriend. It's all on the surface chat.

corks finest

Doubt that

corks finest

Doubt that, found the Bretons v friendly, Parisians ignorant cawbogs

JackieChang

victor8600 wrote: »

+1. Also I think the French lady in the OP may have a problem with making new friends because people in general make less friends after 30+. Friends are easy to make in school/college, but when you are short on time because of work and kids you do not want to invite random people to your place for a chat over a couple of beers.

OP here. The French lady is only 22. Can't make friends with her Irish colleagues. Has many friends among her foreign colleagues. She was in the pub with a few of them.

She asked me for my Facebook because she thought I was friendly and wanted an Irish friend. Btw it wasn't a pickup. It was so her and her friends could have an Irish person to go for pints with.

Can't even make friends with her own Irish colleagues. SAD

Sal Butamol

Hitman3000 wrote: »

Rural= characteristic of the countryside.
Now go out and play with your friends.

Towns are characteristic of the countryside. Anywhere outside Dublin, Cork and maybe Limerick is rural.

Hitman3000

Sal Butamol wrote:

Towns are characteristic of the countryside. Anywhere outside Dublin, Cork and maybe Limerick is rural.

You need to learn the meaning of words you use.

The One Doctor

JackieChang wrote: »

She works in a big multinational corporation and is finding it hard to make friends with Irish colleagues.
?

She should stop wearing the onion and garlic necklace.

Seriously though, she's probably just weird or easily offended - or has an appalling accent.

I've never heard a foreigner say that, and I've known loads of them.

Full disclosure - I very rarely make friends at work. Yes I chat and make jokes and the like, but in 20 years I've made maybe 4 work friends and as soon as I've left the job I've never spoken to them again. I did meet my fiance in work though.

Cleopatra_

JackieChang wrote: »

OP here. The French lady is only 22. Can't make friends with her Irish colleagues. Has many friends among her foreign colleagues. She was in the pub with a few of them.

She asked me for my Facebook because she thought I was friendly and wanted an Irish friend. Btw it wasn't a pickup. It was so her and her friends could have an Irish person to go for pints with.

Can't even make friends with her own Irish colleagues. SAD

Well, it's likely that her foreign colleagues have come to Ireland not knowing anyone and have also been looking for friendship so it makes sense that she's befriended them, especially in a multinational company.

JackieChang

The One Doctor wrote: »

She should stop wearing the onion and garlic necklace.

Seriously though, she's probably just weird or easily offended - or has an appalling accent.

I've never heard a foreigner say that, and I've known loads of them.

My friend who was sitting beside me works in the same corporation as her. He didn't say anything as we were chatting.

I asked him afterwards why he didn't mention he's also working there. He said I don't want her to come over to me thinking we're friends.

I've heard many foreigners, including my own foreign missus, say Irish people are hard to get to know. Except for work parties, then they're your best friends. (after a few scoops)

Hitman3000

snoop_catt wrote:

its just the way it is , very often blow ins view the locals as very friendly for the first year or so but that just folks being curious about the novelty of a new arrival , once they have the facts about you , you become invisible

Still noonsense. Living here 14 years and what you say couldn't be further from the truth.

Sal Butamol

Hitman3000 wrote: »

You need to learn the meaning of words you use.

What town used you live in?

Hitman3000

Sal Butamol wrote:

What town used you live in?

It's irrelevant. You clearly have no idea what rural and urban mean.

Sal Butamol

Hitman3000 wrote: »

It's irrelevant. You clearly have no idea what rural and urban mean.

Aha definitely the bog so

Billy86

JackieChang wrote: »

A French lady told me today that Irish people are very "closed".

We are one of the "most friendly people in the world" on a Saturday night (drink obviously), but we'll never be seen again. Come Monday we don't want to hear about them.

She works in a big multinational corporation and is finding it hard to make friends with Irish colleagues.

I'm posting this as it's actually the millionth time I've heard this from a foreigner.

What do you think?

I find it very true. Before I went to Australia I kept hearing about how much they hate us over there, yet when I got there any Aussie I mentioned it to was mystified. Meanwhile anyone in Sydney knows exactly what I mean when it comes to Irish people only ever leaving the Bondi/Waverley area to go to the casino (to watch the Premier league), working for Irish people, with almost exclusively Irish people, only ever hanging around with Irish people, spending every second night on the cock and Bill, tea gardens or Scruffy Murphy's (on the way from Bindi to the casino, or vice versa), being flat out hostile to any Irish people they've latched on to talking to Aussies because "they're all pricks" and on and on (something o experienced a on a number of occasions that never got any less perplexing).

Same with Canada though to a far lesser extent. Yonge/Eglinton area, the standard small handful of Irish bars and so on. I'm in an "Irish a new..." group that seems to get riddled at times with posts of people asking "I just got here today, where can I find an Irish pub?" I mean wtf is that about? Also using "Canadians are boring so why bother?" as an excuse when over half of Toronto wasn't even born in Canada.

This is far, far from everyone of course but we are clearly bigger offenders than most from my experience.

J Mysterio

JackieChang wrote: »

OP here. The French lady is only 22. Can't make friends with her Irish colleagues. Has many friends among her foreign colleagues. She was in the pub with a few of them.

She asked me for my Facebook because she thought I was friendly and wanted an Irish friend. Btw it wasn't a pickup. It was so her and her friends could have an Irish person to go for pints with.

Can't even make friends with her own Irish colleagues. SAD

I'll go for pints with her. Is she hot?

As to the OP, I have also heard this a lot. I'm not sure that it is fair though. Do people expect to just become instant friends with people or what? Most people do their job amd fucķ off home, watch some TV and go to bed. What is she doing to further friendships?

I actually work in a super international environment where the Irish are in the minority, heavily outnumbered by French, Italians, Spanish, Germans. The majority of these lads are the same: doing their job, going home. I've actually tried to get people into Friday Beers or the like and they just don't have the interest.

People tend to also hang out with others from their country. Particularly the Spanish.

jcorr

Irish people are friendly on the surface but definitely not easy to make real friends with them.

Forget about non anglophone countries foreigners. They're the worst. They'll hang around in their own social group and will never mix outside of it.

no.8

The One Doctor wrote:

Seriously though, she's probably just weird or easily offended - or has an appalling accent.

Rude of me to cut in but...Have you ever had experience like she does?

Hitman3000

Sal Butamol wrote:

Aha definitely the bog so

What an awesome comeback. You sir/ madam are clearly an intellectually gifted individual, it is an honour to converse what someone such as yourself.

steves2

Would definitely agree, heard this many times over the years, on a night out we are great craic and friendly but after that will be cold. When you think of it, it's hard to make a really good friend as you get into your 30s and older isn't it?