Good Pick Up Lines

h7nlrp2v0g5u48

Just wondering if your on a night out and you were attracted to a nice male or female what pick up lines would you use to get a conversation started. I have one or two that might work like is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them or are you an elevator as I can see myself going down on you. I would love to hear other pick up lines that you boardies might use on a night out. Let's see if you can come up with some crackers.

myshirt

Do you want to go back to mine and reenact Pearl Harbour. I lay back and you blow the f#ck out of me.

hatrickpatrick

One of my friends was completely locked in a pub one night, and managed to pull by screwing up his pickup line so bad that she found it hilarious and gave him a go anyway: He wandered over to her as she was buying a drink, hoping to do the classic "U and I" pickup line, lost his cool, and slurred "Eh... If I did the alphabet, I'd, eh.... I'd put me and you together."



There was a momentary silence and the whole feckin' bar cracked up. I sort of turned away, can't hack the cringe in these situations, but about half an hour later they were in the corner wearing the faces off eachother, so sometimes being a complete feckin' eejit is the way to go

Hector Bellend

How do you like your eggs?

Poached or fertilized?

Ipso

I'm no Fred Flinstone, but you can make my bedrock.

h7nlrp2v0g5u48

Do you want to know what people are saying behind your back? Nice ass.

Mrcaramelchoc

You me ridin.

myshirt

Hello, you'll do. Get your coat, it's your lucky night. I'm drunk and I'm desperate.

Ipso

Your eyes are like spanners, every time you look at me my nuts tighten.

Fr Tod Umptious

The word of the day is legs.

So let's go back to your place and spread the word.

van_beano

Are your feet sore because you’ve been running through my mind all night.

Plus there’s something about Angels, wings and heaven. Never need to use that one thought as the running line worked first time.

Married now, 3 kids and an drinking beer. Are those my feet?

Signore Fancy Pants

Knock knock

riffmongous

Just walk up and nervously stutter 'Um. I've noticed you around, um, I find you very attractive'

van_beano

riffmongous wrote: »

Just walk up and nervously stutter 'Um. I've noticed you around, um, I find you very attractive'

Will you go to bed with me? Dum, de, dum, de, dooooo

1998, 20 bloody years ago!

myshirt

So ladies, what's up. Are we going to get this threesome going or what?

Just say that as an introduction.

cloud9876

Are ya a durtburd or are ya a ladyburd

Santan

want to play barbie, i will be ken and you can be the box i cum in

jonon9

Drop them panties. Works every time.

Purple Mountain

van_beano wrote: »

Will you go to bed with me? Dum, de, dum, de, dooooo

1998, 20 bloody years ago!

QUIERE ACOSTARSE CONTIGO?

van_beano

Purple Mountain wrote: »

QUIERE ACOSTARSE CONTIGO?

Touche

bloodless_coup

Do people actually use chat up lines?

J. Smith

Oh look, a penny – I'm gonna pick THAT up!!

DEFTLEFTHAND

Can I buy you a club orange?

J. Smith

I just dropped a bag of marbles – now I'm going to have to pick THEM up!!

biko

Hi, I'm Elon Musk

kenmc

Does this cloth smell of chloroform to you?

J. Smith

The chewing gum is stuck to the carpet – I'm going pick THAT up!!

J. Smith

Litter! Everywhere!! I wouldn't mind picking THAT up!

Ipso

van_beano wrote: »

Will you go to bed with me? Dum, de, dum, de, dooooo

1998, 20 bloody years ago!

To those who complain about music being sh1t now, listen to this song.

Ipso

kenmc wrote: »

Does this cloth smell of chloroform to you?

Do you drive a white van? I think I heard about you on facebook.

van_beano

Ipso wrote: »

To those who complain about music being sh1t now, listen to this song.

Gonna play my 2 Unlimited album now! Do a bit of the Tribal Dance

riffmongous

van_beano wrote: »

Gonna play my 2 Unlimited album now! Do a bit of the Tribal Dance

Get this into you

van_beano

Even better, there’s even a 2 hour version out there

https://youtu.be/8x-NDLxsfiU

van_beano

Hide your kids, hide your wife and hide your husband..

van_beano

We’re so off topic, back to chat up lines, not reminiscing about the good old 90’s teenage discos!

van_beano

Boom, boom, boom.....

Signore Fancy Pants

van_beano wrote: »

Boom, boom, boom.....

...boom, I want you in my room...

mfceiling

Did you buy that dress in the sales?

Cause it's 100% off at my house.

van_beano

Chewbacca wrote: »

...boom, I want you in my room...

Back once again for the renegade master!

Four Phucs Ache

Hi, I'm starving, do you want to go to Eddie rockets or five guys and order everything because my mates just want to stay and get hammered.

racso1975

Saying 5 guys in any chat up line is a bit dodge...

J. Smith

Hector Bellend wrote: »

I'm gonna stretch your arse like my flute stretches my underpants you motherf*cker.

Jesus Christ!

mickwat155

You remind me of my pinky toe because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture imaginable.

Roses are red. Violets are fine. I’ll be the 6, if you’ll be my 9.

Do you want to give me an Australian kiss? It’s like a French kiss, but down under.

frag420

J. Smith wrote: »

Jesus Christ!

Only works with nuns...

Hector Bellend

J. Smith wrote: »

Jesus Christ!

Indeed. May as well get to the point.

J. Smith

Hector Bellend wrote: »

Indeed. May as well get to the point.

I suppose!

Stroke Politics

How’d you like to be buried with my people?

Hammer89

Are you a Boardsie? Because I'll put a thumb up your arse and say thanks.

Needs a bit of work admittedly.

CPTM

One of the most perfect moments of my life happened 5 years ago when I was out with my [chat-up king] mate, and in the smoking area stood the most beautiful blonde you could ever imagine in the most revealing dress you could imagine. In retrospect she was an awful dose but I didn't know it at the time. I worked in the same company but she didn't know me.
Obviously my mate spotted her and I told him her name. On to Facebook he went and then obviously straight to the album called "Summer in Thailand". He'd seen enough. He put his phone in his pocket and up he went and said something in her ear. Conversation was flowing. Asking her if she'd ever been to Asia etc. So creepy. Her friends were moving on so she told him to take her number and drop her a text later. Out came the phone. Unlocked it. Boom, up came the zoomed in pic of her on the beach in her swanky bikini. That died a death and I was spectator to the whole rise and fall.

MyPeopleDrankTheSoup

are u a teacher?

if no, well you look like one

if yes, then i knew it, how'd u know, etc. and it's yes a lot down the country

yeah, it's basic, but gets you in the door

Sorry, a bit off-topic, not a pick-up line but a rather brutal response to one I witnessed in a trashy area of London about 20 years ago...

"I've already got one cnut in my knickers" screamed in the loudest most obnoxious Essex accent into the face of some poor bollix who made the mistake of asking this (*cough*) "classy bird" if she wanted a drink.