Toddler meltdown and hitting mom

Theboinkmaster

Hi

We have a little boy who is 2 years and 9 months old, has a 9 month old sister. Normally very well behaved and no issues, some flashes of bold etc. but nothing major.

Normally wakes up at 6am and I go into him, but this morning his mom did and he had an absolute meltdown screaming NO I WANT DADDA etc.

He then proceeded to hit her and throw toys at her. My wife obviously very upset and once calmed down he didn't appear that sorry.

He is also sometimes rough with little sister, when he does I pull him aside and make him apologise etc.

Any suggestions what to do, in general with this type of behaviour?

I don't want to hit him (even though I want to sometimes) so was thinking of time out and using bottom step on stairs as kind of naughty step and talk him through it.

Can't do anything after the fact as not sure it will impact him so must do it straight after the incident. This doesn't happen often and never this bad so may just be a once off but in case it's a slippery slope I want to take action now as this behaviour won't be accepted and I need him to learn limits - specifically never to raise his hand to his mom or sister.

bp

It is honestly a phase of hitting. My 3 year old is mainly out of it. Best approach I found was (depending on the situation) holding them firmly but gently and saying "no hitting, that hurts mammy" or walking away saying "I understand you want daddy and I will get him but remember no hitting" etc.

At this age they don't understand the link between hitting a person and it hurting. They have no regulation of temper yet. Its also fustration they cannot communicate properly yet.

Like everything it will pass but remember being like this scares them so parents need to stay calm (which can be very very hard).

shesty

Well he just woke up and the routine changed. Small kids don't deal well with routine changes.
Not your fault obviously, being an adult it's hard for us to understand this. I agree with BP, prevent or block him from hitting and say something like "I can't let you hit, it hurts". They are hard to get through to at that age. It is a phase, but I agree that it needs to be made clear that it's not acceptable behaviour, because I found age 3 way more challenging than age 2 - so if your ground rules are set in stone, it is easier to manage. My second is 2 and 4 months now, and she whacks her older sister at every available opportunity (one wonders where she learned such a trick - the tables are turning on the older sister - but obviously you can't point that out to a 2 and a 4 year old!!).
Don't do too much talking, keep it short and to the point or else he will lose interest. Also, I'd suggest buying a book - we have "Hands are not for Hitting". It worked well for our oldest, although I admit I think it's lost on no.2.She's very gentle with the baby, she's just not gentle around no.1!!! I can see my oldest is really growing out of that phase in the last year though, which is good.

Theboinkmaster

Appreciate the advice, thank you.