can my filipino lady come for a short stay;

Whispered

I can see why people are concerned. But you have made your decision and I just wanted to wish you all the best. Any person I've met from the Philippines has been warm and friendly. They seem like lovely people.

steve66

Whispered wrote: »

I can see why people are concerned. But you have made your decision and I just wanted to wish you all the best. Any person I've met from the Philippines has been warm and friendly. They seem like lovely people.

Thank you. i know it looks like i am wide eyed and innocent.But i have looked up
stuff about what can happen. Heck, a cousin, well strictly speaking, his wife, was even concerned about me going to monaghan. Maybe i would get murdered in my
bed or something. But i went on my own to a house to people I didn't know.

steve66

Stupify wrote: »

I can see you care about this woman alot OP, people here only have your welfare at heart when they say to be careful or that she could be a scammer but for all we know she could be a saint.

If you're really going to go through with bringing her here then I think you're best option is to visit her first (take plenty of photos to use for later proof of relationship and keep your plane tickets too), then after you've saved up a bit more have her apply for a short-stay visa to see you. It's all well and good thinking of the long-stay Visa but she needs to come here first and see what Ireland is like.

For the short stay Visa she needs:

-a letter detailing why she wants to come to Ireland, and because it's to see you she needs to have proof that you two and in a relationship (pictures can be used here along with some skype screenshots and copies of your plane ticket).

-a letter of sponsorship from you along with a 6 month bank statement, a copy of your passport and a utility bill with your name and address on it (include the page that will have your travel stamps from visiting her).

-she needs to send proof that she has travel insurance.

-And the big one is she needs to show she has a reason for returning home, my wife had a car and a full-time job to return to which was deemed sufficient by the visa officer. Does your lady have any assets? She can mention her kids as reason for returning home but it's not a very strong reason since they're all grown up now.

You can see the Visa Decisions put up here every Tuesday:
http://www.inis.gov.ie/en/INIS/Visa-decisions-07082018-13082018.pdf/Files/Visa-decisions-07082018-13082018.pdf

Most are rejected OP but tourist visas have the best chances of being granted.

You could also consider trying to get her UK visa as people on a UK visa can travel here without needing an Irish visa.

EDIT: here's the full list of requirements for a short stay visa
https://www.dfa.ie/media/embassylondon/ourservices/visit-visa-checklist.pdf

appreciate, that. Thank you very much.

Stupify

steve66 wrote: »

appreciate, that. Thank you very much.

No problem, I really hope everything goes well for the two of ye.

Ursus Horribilis

The fact that you even entertained the thought of posting her Facebook here makes me wonder how street smart you really are. Be careful.

steve66

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

The fact that you even entertained the thought of posting her Facebook here makes me wonder how street smart you really are. Be careful.

i meant the link.

Purple Mountain

steve66 wrote: »

i meant the link.

Same thing!

eviltwin

steve66 wrote: »

i meant the link.

It amounts to the same thing! Why on earth would you think it's appropriate to share her personal page with strangers on the internet.

Purple Mountain

Steve.
If your heart is telling you to go and that's what you want then go.
I am saying this knowing that if the worst case scenario arises and she is a scammer then as you have admitted here yourself, you don't have much means to be scammed out of (don't mean that to sound mean).
If you go, go with that Irish man and his Filipino wife so at least you have someone familiar to rely on.
If you've never been out of Ireland, even navigation through an airport is going to be hard and especially for a long haul flight.
I don't know how tourist visas work there and if you'd get one but absolutely you need to go there for a visit first before you even contemplate bringing her here longer term.
That's just wreckless after 2 months.
If you can save for the flight, go and stay with that couple.
But you need to think carefully..what do you anticipate happening after that?
You won't get a disability payment in her country so can't live there.
At present you can't afford to sponsor her here.
So I feel that it's shortsighted to gear up for a holiday and open your heart and if it works out as you hope, what can come out of it?
It's just food for thought.

sydthebeat

MarkY91 wrote: »

I'm going to Bali on 8th December and I'll eventually end up in Philippines on 15th. These people are very into Christmas, you would have a huge, warm welcome if you do go.. especially at Christmas.

The fact that you would have people going with you will take alot of stress of landing in a new country and feeling the culture shock away. They would bring you right to your destination.

Like I said, after paying your flight, you'll struggle to spend money there. So it could be possible financially wise to go in December. That's when you can have answers to so many questions and doubts you may have.

I wish you all the best!

Im off to bali next summer for a couple of weeks, I'd really appreciate a review after you come back, if you're happy to do that

steve66

eviltwin wrote: »

It amounts to the same thing! Why on earth would you think it's appropriate to share her personal page with strangers on the internet.

What's so personal about a facebook page. If i type in the name Johnny for instance, I will get hits for people on facebook for people called Johnny.I can see
what their facebook page says.

MarkY91

sydthebeat wrote: »

Im off to bali next summer for a couple of weeks, I'd really appreciate a review after you come back, if you're happy to do that

That wouldn't be an issue. I'll be there for a week. Aiming to do temple exploring, beach days, snorkelling mostly. I post travel pics all the time on my Instagram. Pm me if you want my username to follow me as I'll be posting alot in Bali.

Ursus Horribilis

Care to post up a link to your Facebook page?

sydthebeat

MarkY91 wrote: »

That wouldn't be an issue. I'll be there for a week. Aiming to do temple exploring, beach days, snorkelling mostly. I post travel pics all the time on my Instagram. Pm me if you want my username to follow me as I'll be posting alot in Bali.

Will do thanks. I'm not on insta but I might start

Flippyfloppy

I think after telling us her whole life story it would be dangerous for you to post her profile here. Anyone can read this and would know intimate enough details about her that you've told us!

Big Bag of Chips

At the time of posting this, this thread has had 4217 views. Do not post anything that will identify the lady you have been speaking about. She is entitled to privacy and not have her Facebook page posted on a Discussion Forum in Ireland.

steve66

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Steve.
If your heart is telling you to go and that's what you want then go.
I am saying this knowing that if the worst case scenario arises and she is a scammer then as you have admitted here yourself, you don't have much means to be scammed out of (don't mean that to sound mean).
If you go, go with that Irish man and his Filipino wife so at least you have someone familiar to rely on.
If you've never been out of Ireland, even navigation through an airport is going to be hard and especially for a long haul flight.
I don't know how tourist visas work there and if you'd get one but absolutely you need to go there for a visit first before you even contemplate bringing her here longer term.
That's just wreckless after 2 months.
If you can save for the flight, go and stay with that couple.
But you need to think carefully..what do you anticipate happening after that?
You won't get a disability payment in her country so can't live there.
At present you can't afford to sponsor her here.
So I feel that it's shortsighted to gear up for a holiday and open your heart and if it works out as you hope, what can come out of it?
It's just food for thought.

She is going with a friend. Her husband is not going.
So me and the wife of the irish guy, and a friend of the wife of the irish guy. I'm not sure
After that. i intend coimg back home. If it doesn't fizzle out, i will continue to chat with her through facebook messenger. Then hopefully she will be able to
come over here for three months. Then when she has to go back to her country, that unless we finally find out there is nothing between us, will be the hard part.
So if we still have positive feelings for each other, i will just have to save up to go over for another holiday. or bring her here. So, yes, i am prepared for difficulty and the long haul

steve66

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

Care to post up a link to your Facebook page?

okay, i am not one not to apologise if i was wrong. I apologise , I was wrong.
But the reason i won't give a link is because it has my real name, and someone here might
know me. Otherwise i would have no problem posting it.
But people did say, i knew nothing about her.

steve66

Big Bag of Chips wrote: »

At the time of posting this, this thread has had 4217 views. Do not post anything that will identify the lady you have been speaking about. She is entitled to privacy and not have her Facebook page posted on a Discussion Forum in Ireland.

Really, can i have that in euros, please;

charlietheminxx

This is a really bad idea. I know you don’t want to hear that and you’re going to do it anyway, but you’re setting yourself up for heartache and disaster.

You seem like a really genuine and open person and those are unfortunately traits which can leave someone very vulnerable online or when dealing with strangers. You need a certain dose of cynicism and skepticism to protect yourself in the world of blind or online dating.

Can I ask you something OP? If you weren’t lonely, why did you answer her ad in the Ireland’s Own?

It sounds like you think you really know this woman. After 2 months of online chatting, you do not. You know only the person she is presenting to you. Not everyone is as open and straight forward as you.

I’m all for taking chances and going with your gut, but in this instance, you’re committing financial resources you don’t have and planning to centre your life plans on a stranger. It’s not a good idea and it’s not healthy.

I do wish you the best OP but I think you should be concentrating on other areas of your life and getting out dating if you want a relationship with someone.

Johnnyhpipe

Ooh pwease mista dudwee!

steve66

Maybe i answered it on a whim. maybe i am a person, who has had too many broken relationships, and wanted to try something different.
i have lived on my own for many years. I haven't even got an animal here. ie, i don't feel the need for company;
I like my freedom. I can get up, when i want, clean up, when i want, always have the toilet available to me etc etc. There is a lot to be said for living on your own
But i answered the ad, and here we are.
when you meet anybody, don't you only know the side they present.
Do you think abusive husbands only marry women online. There have been con men and con women going for ages long before the internet. Those are people who met face to face.
As for the credit union, thing, i will just have to pay it back.

steve66

okay, folks. Thanks for all the warnings. But, please no more. you are just wasting your time. Don't forget, the original question was whether, i could bring her over on a short stay, and not whether you think it's a good idea or not.

Tzardine

I am sorry, but the more I read the more it seems like the OP is trolling.

.......

I dont think the OP is trolling, but I do think he is a naive individual who doesnt want to hear that Filipino women often try to scam western men in the hopes of getting money or a better lifestyle.

Maybe this lady isnt running a scam. Maybe she is genuine.

But after just 2 months of contact - contact that was initiated through a response to an ad looking for love/companionship - to be talking of one of you moving country so you can be together, is a major red flag. A more realistic time frame for something so momentous would be a couple of years with visit back and forth for both of you during this time. This is a woman who you claim has 4 children she has put through college and she works looking after a sick woman but she is willing to dump all of that to just get to Ireland to be with you - a man she has never met and has only had online contact with? Its just not realistic.

In response to something you said earlier. Yes, a woman could be talking to you 4 hours a day and have other men on the go. She could be messaging many people simultaneously.

Your suggestion of posting her Facebook page seems to indicate that you are not very internet savvy - and thats fine - but some people posting here ARE internet savvy and thats why you are receiving warnings.

Just be very very careful. Do not offer money. If you want to meet then you go to meet her and go the frame of mind that it MIGHT be a scam.

steve66

....... wrote: »

I dont think the OP is trolling, but I do think he is a naive individual who doesnt want to hear that Filipino women often try to scam western men in the hopes of getting money or a better lifestyle.

Maybe this lady isnt running a scam. Maybe she is genuine.

But after just 2 months of contact - contact that was initiated through a response to an ad looking for love/companionship - to be talking of one of you moving country so you can be together, is a major red flag. A more realistic time frame for something so momentous would be a couple of years with visit back and forth for both of you during this time. This is a woman who you claim has 4 children she has put through college and she works looking after a sick woman but she is willing to dump all of that to just get to Ireland to be with you - a man she has never met and has only had online contact with? Its just not realistic.

In response to something you said earlier. Yes, a woman could be talking to you 4 hours a day and have other men on the go. She could be messaging many people simultaneously.

Your suggestion of posting her Facebook page seems to indicate that you are not very internet savvy - and thats fine - but some people posting here ARE internet savvy and thats why you are receiving warnings.

Just be very very careful. Do not offer money. If you want to meet then you go to meet her and go the frame of mind that it MIGHT be a scam.

I have read up on internet scams before posting this thread. Do you not think, I was wary at the start. That was one of the reasons she gave me the phone number of her friend in Monaghan. But perhaps the latter and her so called husband are part of an elaborate scam. Perhaps the friend of her friend and her child are also part of this conspiracy. Perhaps the wedding photo on the wall, when they married 12 years ago is fake. Maybe they went to some exceptionally good make up artist, who worked on them, until they looked around 12 years younger. Perhaps he is lying, when he says he visited her after about a year of contact, proposed marriage, and 6 months later, she was able to come to ireland.

You seem to be think i am the kind of guy who if he gets an email telling him he has won so much money, runs around the room jumping for joy. No, I'm the kind of person who deletes it.
Yes, she is willing to move away from her 4 grown up children whose ages range from 24 to 30
As for her client, she likes her job. But she also gets, irritable and fed up.
But anyway, as i said before i am not in a position financially to have her come here permantly. You also have to wait three years. The only way she could here permantly right now is if she got a job offer that satisfied the criteria of the relative authorities, and was earning the required amount, or her would be employers sponsored her.

It is likely that i will go to see her first, before attempting to get her over here for a 3 month stay.This is due to what was said in regards to getting a visa for that purpose than any element of mistrust on my part.
When i asked her about moving there or her here, and she said it was up to me, it was to find out what she would say. Right now, i have no intention of moving permanently to the Philippines.

On the messaging front, if indeed this monaghan thing is all part of a plot, i would love to know how you message more than person simultaneously on a phone which hangs a lot. WAIT. That is it. Her phone isn't hanging at all. That is just a ploy for her to talk to other guys on her state of the art computer. Then she comes back to poor innocent me waiting faithfully for her message.
Thank you. I will stop now, because i have to ring Monaghan Garda Station.

Note. Sorry, for the sarcasm. I know you are only trying to help. But all these scam warnings, which as i said i knew about already are wearying.

Iwouldinmesack

steve66 wrote: »

I have read up on internet scams before posting this thread. Do you not think, I was wary at the start. That was one of the reasons she gave me the phone
number of her friend in Monaghan. But perhaps her friend in Monaghan and her so called husband are part of an elaborate scam. Perhaps the friend of her friend and her child are also part of this conspiracy. Perhaps the wedding photo
on the wall, when they married 12 years ago is fake. Maybe they went to some
exceptionally good make up artist, worked on them, until they looked around
12 years younger. Perhaps he is lying, when he says he visited her after about
a year of contact, proposed marriage, and 6 months later, she was able to come to ireland.
You seem to be think i am the kind of guy who if he gets an email telling him
he has so much money, runs around the room jumping for joy. No, I'm the kind of person who deletes it.
yes, she is willing to move away from her 4 grown up children whose ages range from 24
As for her client, she likes her job. But she also gets, irritable and fed up.
But anyway, as i said before i am not in a position financially to have her come here permantly. You also have to wait three years. The only way she could here permantly right now is if she got a job offer that satisfied the criteria of the relative authorities, and they sponsored her;

It is likely that i will go to see her first, before attempting to get her over here
for a 3 month stay.This s is due to what was said in regards to getting a visa for that purpose than any element of mistrust on my part.
When i asked her about moving there or her here, and she said it was up to me, it was to find out what she would say. Right now, i have no intention
of moving permantly to the philippines.

On the messaging thing, if indeed this monaghan thing is all part of a plot, i would love to know how you message more than person 1 person simultaneously on a phone which hangs a lot. WAIT. That is it. Her phone isn't hanging at all. That is just a ploy for her to talk to other guys on her state of the art computer. Then she comes back to poor innocent me waiting faithfuly for her message.
Thank you. I will stop now, because i have to ring Monaghan Garda Station.

Go for it then, it appears to me your mind is already made up. Disregard advice youve asked for. To put it bluntly i think personally your thinking with your dick rather than your head. Whats the point in getting yourself into debt over someone youve known less than two months? Youve become emotionally involved with a person youve never met and you wonder why people are meeting this with derusion.

.......

steve66 wrote: »

But perhaps the latter and her so called husband are part of an elaborate scam.

Tbh - it is more credible that a Filipino woman has met and married an Irish man who she has persuaded to help "recruit" other Irish men to marry more Filipino women and thus spread the wealth than to believe that someone who you met 2 months ago online is "the one".

I understand that you are defensive about this - but just try to look at it objectively.

The facts just dont stack up.

Stupify

....... wrote: »

Tbh - it is more credible that a Filipino woman has met and married an Irish man who she has persuaded to help "recruit" other Irish men to marry more Filipino women and thus spread the wealth than to believe that someone who you met 2 months ago online is "the one".

I understand that you are defensive about this - but just try to look at it objectively.

The facts just dont stack up.

I gotta say that is a highly unlikely scenario you've laid out, it's alot more likely that OPs lady friend has seen her sisters happiness with an Irish man and wants something similar for herself. That doesn't mean OP shouldn't be cautious, he only knows her 2 months after all.

.......

Stupify wrote: »

I gotta say that is a highly unlikely scenario you've laid out, it's alot more likely that OPs lady friend has seen her sisters happiness with an Irish man and wants something similar for herself.

The couple in question placed an ad in an Irish magazine looking for Irish men for a Filipino lady.

They quite literally advertised for men.

Stupify

....... wrote: »

The couple in question placed an ad in an Irish magazine looking for Irish men for a Filipino lady.

They quite literally advertised for men.

Yes they were looking for an Irish man for her sister, I don't see something sinister in that of itself, nobody is looking for money from OP and he's already been advised if they do he should cut and run.

steve66

Iwouldinmesack wrote: »

Go for it then, it appears to me your mind is already made up. Disregard advice youve asked for. To put it bluntly i think personally your thinking with your dick rather than your head. Whats the point in getting yourself into debt over someone youve known less than two months? Youve become emotionally involved with a person youve never met and you wonder why people are meeting this with derusion.

I am not disregarding advise i asked for, which was about whether i could bring her over here for a 3 month stay.
I am disregarding advice i didn't ask for where people seem to be substituting the
word could in my mind for the word should.
As for your penis comment, you are entitltled. to you are entitled to your opinion.
The first part of your last comment is correct. I have become emotionally involved with her. The second part is not. I am not wondering why skeptical about it.
you have not adressed the monaghan issue.

steve66

....... wrote: »

Tbh - it is more credible that a Filipino woman has met and married an Irish man who she has persuaded to help "recruit" other Irish men to marry more Filipino women and thus spread the wealth than to believe that someone who you met 2 months ago online is "the one".

I understand that you are defensive about this - but just try to look at it objectively.

The facts just dont stack up.

What wealth are you talking about.

steve66

Stupify wrote: »

I gotta say that is a highly unlikely scenario you've laid out, it's alot more likely that OPs lady friend has seen her sisters happiness with an Irish man and wants something similar for herself. That doesn't mean OP shouldn't be cautious, he only knows her 2 months after all.

Not sister, but a friend, and I have seen friend message her on facebook.
But i agree with you. She had a bad marriage, has this idea that all filipino
men are bad and white good. As stated before, i have tried to persude her to give up on me, and get someone better.
yes, it is two months now. But it will be around 5 months in December.

.......

steve66 wrote: »

What wealth are you talking about.

Compared to her 40 euro per week you are living a life of luxury. And you have spoken about an inheritance. I have no idea what assets you have, a house etc... But anything you have is going to seem vastly wealthy to a Filipino woman in the circumstances you describe.

But of course they didnt advertise for you specifically. Probably they hoped for someone with a good income etc...

Have you ever asked how many replied to the ad and whether or not they were engaged in online messaging as well?

Is the ad gone from the current issue of the magazine?

Stupify

steve66 wrote: »

Not sister, but a friend, and I have seen friend message her on facebook.
But i agree with you. She had a bad marriage, has this idea that all filipino
men are bad and white good. As stated before, i have tried to persude her to give up on me, and get someone better.
yes, it is two months now. But it will be around 5 months in December.

My apologies OP, I forgot it was her friend and not her sister.

People here have given you good advice, just make sure to be careful as has been said and do not send her any money. It's likely this relationship may not work out as it will take alot to get her here, but then same could have been said for my wife and I when we started dating and went long distance.

steve66

....... wrote: »

The couple in question placed an ad in an Irish magazine looking for Irish men for a Filipino lady.

They quite literally advertised for men.

The inside back page of irelands own is a page where people advertise for companionship. It is full of ads for the same thing. ie people looking for partners. It could say Galway lady 35, divorced 5 children looking for kind sincere man. Their ad was one of many.

.......

steve66 wrote: »

The inside back page of irelands own is a page where people advertise for companionship. It is full of ads for the same thing. ie people looking for partners. It could say Galway lady 35, divorced 5 children looking for kind sincere man. Their ad was one of many.

And is it gone now?

Iwouldinmesack

steve66 wrote: »

The inside back page of irelands own is a page where people advertise for companionship. It is full of ads for the same thing. ie people looking for partners. It could say Galway lady 35, divorced 5 children looking for kind sincere man. Their ad was one of many.

What they mean is the same ad still in the back pages of Irelands own since you started chatting with said lady i think

.......

Iwouldinmesack wrote: »

What they mean is the same ad still in the back pages of Irelands own since you started chatting with said lady i think

+1

Personally Id be googling the phone number from the ad and seeing if there are other advertisements about online.

steve66

....... wrote: »

Compared to her 40 euro per week you are living a life of luxury. And you have spoken about an inheritance. I have no idea what assets you have, a house etc... But anything you have is going to seem vastly wealthy to a Filipino woman in the circumstances you describe.

But of course they didnt advertise for you specifically. Probably they hoped for someone with a good income etc...

Have you ever asked how many replied to the ad and whether or not they were engaged in online messaging as well?

Is the ad gone from the current issue of the magazine?

Yes, i agree with your first comment. Having being told about how she lives, i have no argument there. I live in a rented apartment. But it is pretty nice.
But you know what, if it turns out that i am just a stepping stone for her to come over, maybe stay me with for a while, then before her 3 months are up, meet somebody better off, let her. I am glad to have helped her.

I asked have her if she got other replies. She said yes. But I don't know many.
Yes i know i am taking her word for it.
Basically the way it works is this. You reply to the ad, by sending a letter by slow mail to irelands own. There is a fee for this. Then I assume they post it on to them.
I don't know if the ad is gone from the current issue.
I will see about finding out.

steve66

Stupify wrote: »

My apologies OP, I forgot it was her friend and not her sister.

People here have given you good advice, just make sure to be careful as has been said and do not send her any money. It's likely this relationship may not work out as it will take alot to get her here, but then same could have been said for my wife and I when we started dating and went long distance.

Yes, i have no illusions, that i have not set myself an easy task.
Thank you.

steve66

....... wrote: »

+1

Personally Id be googling the phone number from the ad and seeing if there are other advertisements about online.

There is no phone number.
When i get a look at irelands own, I will let you know the type of number if any that was there.

.......

steve66 wrote: »

Basically the way it works is this. You reply to the ad, by sending a letter by slow mail to irelands own. There is a fee for this. Then I assume they post it on to them.

So then the person who placed the ad contacted you? By phone or email or slow mail?

Steve Im not trying to rain on your parade btw, I just think that its better for someone to go into something with their eyes wide open.

No harm in you being alerted to possible issues NOW rather than after you have spent money on a flight or getting her over here etc.

steve66

....... wrote: »

And is it gone now?

i don't know. When i see the next magazine, i will let you know.

steve66

....... wrote: »

So then the person who placed the ad contacted you? By phone or email or slow mail?

Steve Im not trying to rain on your parade btw, I just think that its better for someone to go into something with their eyes wide open.

No harm in you being alerted to possible issues NOW rather than after you have spent money on a flight or getting her over here etc.

it was by email.
But even if i am wrong, i will be going to a nice country for a holiday.

.......

steve66 wrote: »

it was by email.
But even if i am wrong, i will be going to a nice country for a holiday.

Google the email address that you first received an email from in relation to the ad you responded to.

steve66

....... wrote: »

Google the email address that you first received an email from in relation to the ad you responded to.

i can't do that specifically, as i can't find the page, which i kept.
But i googled this along with her email address.
kind sincere lady.
That brought up results for romance scams, but no results for her address.

Yes, yes, i know, she could have multiple email adresses.

zapper55

Maybe it brought up results for romance scams because she scams people?

steve66

The ad is not in the latest magazine.
examples of ads
http://www.dailyedge.ie/irelands-own-penfriends-3631390-Oct2017/