Childminder for child who has had convulsions?

LegacyUser

Our 1 year-old has just had what is still being classified as a febrile convulsion - the third ever - except this time it was much, much longer and the child was brought by ambulance and hospitalised for a number of days. They haven't classified it as epilepsy as such convulsions are common at that age but as this one was so serious we did meet with a consultant neurologist who advised us to remove the child from crèche and if possible to find a childminder or, if all else fails, give up work. Although the child is very happy in the crèche it has a high turnover of staff, all of whom are young, and who are naturally in charge of many more children than our one. We can't risk that now (as intimated, it was at the highest level of seizures and we both witnessed it).

And this is our dilemma: we must find a childminder or one of us must give up work. We have no family with the ability to help out here but who would even take on the responsibility of looking after this beautiful, cute child with this history? A childminder would be by far the most straightforward and least disruptive option but one of us giving up our jobs would be the most instinctively correct. Our constraint is the near universal one now: both of our salaries are necessary to cover the mortgage and other expenses so if we cannot find a childminder, we could rent out this house or sell it and look for some place further out of Dublin - both of which are going to take time. We don't have the time as the consequences of another seizure on the same scale are unthinkable. Time off work is an option, thankfully, but it would be unpaid so we're back to square one in terms of paying the mortgage. We aren't entitled to a mortgage holiday, and even if we were it wouldn't solve the problem - which we have to find a solution for until the child is 3 at least.

While I'm fine with moving and the longer journey to work every day, I know my other half will really miss all her supports (which unfortunately can't help us in this situation) in Dublin and I really do not want her to feel isolated wherever we go. It will also set her career back and her pension, so there are a lot of consequences if we can't get a solid childminder. It will also be tight keeping a family going on one family but if the rent is reasonable we'll get through it I feel (even though the state's tax individualisation policy penalises us for not having two incomes - absolutely crazily unfair).

Still, they are comparatively speaking "only" financial and we have to do what's best for that beautiful little child for the next couple of years at least. The child's last convulsion was 6 months before this so it's not an everyday thing, but it does require a calm but quick intervention by a mature and experienced child minder, an elusive person who seems to be as rare as hen's teeth, if it happens again. I suppose we're looking for advice on what to do here, and specifically is there any place in Dublin where parents in our situation can be helped by some childminders trained in this? All constructive help, information and suggestions will be most welcome. Thanks.

Big Bag of Chips

I think this thread might be better suited to the Parenting Forum.

Moved.

2xj3hplqgsbkym

Myself and my siblings had febrile convulsions, some of us once, some several times . I know it is very worrying but your child might never have another one, so giving up your job immediately only for that reason is very drastic.
Find a childminder , tell them how to treat the child if they have a convulsion.
Wait a few months and then evaluate how all is going.

jlm29

I can’t help with the childminder- good ones are like gold dust, it tends to be by word of mouth they are found.
Would one of you qualify for caters leave? And indeed would the convulsions qualify you for it? If you had careers benefit for two years, coupled with the tax benefits of only one of you being at work, it might make a two year break financially viable.

jlm29

Carers leave, obviously!

GaGa21

A qualified and experienced child minder would be the better option if a parent cannot stay home. You will get what you pay for. If you are able to pay 10euro min. an hour plus tax you will be able to get someone able to deal with seizures, maybe an SNA qualified or ex nurse. It is possible but I would not leave my child with someone untrained in case of medical emergencies.

I would 100% explore every possible way of having one of you stay at home. No one in the world will mind your child with the amount of care you will yourself and if anything were to happen (unlikely but possible) you would never forgive yourselves. Have you researched about domincilary (sorry not sure of spelling!) care allowance and I know there is carer’s allowance not sure if you would be eligible but definitely worth checking.

Mr. Muddle

Hi

A friend of mine was in this position 11 years ago, she applied for carers benefit which you are entitled to once you have 1 years employment behind you.

See here for more details;






If it were me I would take the leave, you don't give up your job you can take 2 years unpaid but keep your position as it is, you also get a payment, so when you take into account the cost of childcare tax etc., you possibly won't be out too much financially and you have the peace of mind to be the one to be home with your child.

I hope your little one is OK and doesn't get any more fits, it's so scary when it happens, my friends little one is now going into 5th class has been seizure free since she was 2 and is a beautiful, strong, funny, clever,young lady, the first few years she was never alone not for a nap or for any reason, she also had alarms in her cot, her parents were in a state of high alert 24/7 that alone is exhausting.

Taking a year or two carers leave would give you a chance to see what is really going on with your childs health and then when you know you could make a more informed decision on what is the best long term plan for your family.

Wishing you all the best and full health for your baby.

SusanC10

I too would properly investigate the financial consequences of one of you staying at home.

Are you married ? Makes a difference to Tax Credits if one Spouse at home.

When our second child was 1, I was made redundant and my Husband had pay cuts which together reduced our household income by 60%. At the time I thought it would be a disaster but with claiming everything we were entitled to and having no Childcare to pay and with some strict budgeting we managed and came out the other side.

Look into the Carer's Leave as above.

Don't automatically assume that you cannot afford for one of you to be at home.

Moonbeam

I would seek out an experienced childminder that does not mind other children in case of emergency. I would also want their 1st aid to be up to date relevant 1st aid,(FAR - first aid response is the new standard for the early years sector). They also need to be registered and insured.