What would you do if you found out you were terminally ill?(Mod Note Post One)

Ande1975

Bless you Acai Berry... thank you. Made me well up a bit this morning.

He doesn't talk about it but he does exactly what he is told and does it with a smile. I wish I'd half his courage as he just gets on it with and with his sense of humour.

PlaneSpeeking

Ande1975 wrote: »

I enjoy reading the most thanked responses on boards as they generally make me laugh or an interesting read. I find this thread upsetting as my father is terminally ill and when he found out he made the decision to fight and he continues to fight. I know its a personal decision but my father is 80 years young who is fitter than most 30 year olds, taken care of his health, ate well and work(ed) out 4-5 times a week. Recently diagnosed with brain cancer. Had most of the tumour removed, undergoing treatment and just getting on with his life. We don't see him as terminal, we see him as living for a long long time. You could be hit by a car in the morning.

You have my eternal sympathy.

My own father is also 80 and has dementia. At times it feels he's already gone.

I have to say depending on the diagnosis it would be a swift trip to Dignitas and what my dad has is at the top of the list.

suicide_circus

'In the midst of life we are in death'

I think we avoid the topic of death too much which makes it harder to cope with when it happens.

PlaneSpeeking

Graces7 wrote: »

at the moment? heave a great sigh of relief and look forwards. all is sorted; when you are nearly 80...so tired and in so much pain..

worst is ,my critters... but my extended family know all my wishes and worries.

We lost a 95 year old last month. She simply went to sleep and her last note read,"burn me, scatter me, remember me."

death has no fear for those who know and love the Lord Jesus. He is Home.

PS of course things long still to do and be..life is a beauty and a gift.... sometimes relinquishing is hard. NB will if I die on the island get the helicopter ride |I keep on about but will not see it ... how our dead are taken off.

At least I know I'll be going to somewhere my mother is.

And John Lennon. So happy days!

gerrybbadd

monkeysnapper wrote: »

I'd get a Springer spaniel .....

.... Go on. The suspense is killing me

Campogna

Having seen two grandads be diagnosed with terminal cancer, one succumb and another still fighting, I can say the bravest thing one can do is to face it head on rather than look for ways to escape the pain (drugs etc).

Being strong enough to pull yourself out of bed every day and get on with life, still be the same person while knowing you're on borrowed time is truly admirable. I would say it can be very easy to lose your sense of identity amidst all those hospital visits as you just accept that you are a patient and not a person. To see people do what they have done for the last 50 odd years, putting on a brave face and acting like nothing is wrong is what makes life meaningful, it shows others that there is more to being human than just existing, it is accepting that suffering is part of life and looking beyond it to enjoy your meagre scrap of history. It showed me what true bravery is and that the only way out is through.

Ande1975

Beautifully said Campogna. Describes what I am seeing perfectly. Sorry about your Granddad and hope your other Granddad gets well.

Cleopatra_

suicide_circus wrote: »

'In the midst of life we are in death'

I think we avoid the topic of death too much which makes it harder to cope with when it happens.

This is it. I don't mean to upset anyone with the topic but it's something we're all going to have to deal with sooner or later. I don't know if avoiding it or being terrified of talking about it helps much. I don't know, I think I'm in a different position because I've known since a young age that I won't live to be old, so I've had a lot of time to be aware of that. I don't have the luxury of avoiding it.

homer911

I'm a Christian, so I know where I'm going after I die, and I believe that God is in charge of that date be it today, tomorrow, in a year's time, or many years from now. So, if I knew I was to die in a year's time (and assuming I couldn't influence this), I'd get my financial affairs in order, provide for my family's future, plan my funeral, make as many friends as possible and enjoy this earth with friends and family in the simple ways to give them some great memories. Bucket lists don't make sense to me - have people not enjoyed their lives up to this point?

I suppose that's easy to say without an understanding of the condition that would take me, so I'd pray for grace to live well!

Isaiah 43:1 “Don’t fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine.”

RobbingBandit

Russell Crowe fighting round the world youtube show

Ironic Crime spree I'd make enough money to cure what's killing me and go to jail for the rest of my life

Real answer I'd track down everyone who's ever hurt me and give them what they deserve

Trigger Happy

If I found out I had a year to live I would definitely quit working and just travel and see people that I have fallen out of touch with.
Would leave a few videos for the wife and kid to look at in years to come.
Would arrange for them to get birthday cards from me for many years after my demise.
I would probably start smoking again and would do lots of partying.

Cleopatra_

Cleopatra_ wrote: »

This is it. I don't mean to upset anyone with the topic but it's something we're all going to have to deal with sooner or later. I don't know if avoiding it or being terrified of talking about it helps much. I don't know, I think I'm in a different position because I've known since a young age that I won't live to be old, so I've had a lot of time to be aware of that. I don't have the luxury of avoiding it.

My dad saw a lot of life and death stuff in his working life, and whenever anyone tries to discuss it in any depth he just tells them that 'Life is a sexually transmitted disease, and it's always fatal'. Dying is part of living, but what we can't know is hard to think about.

It comes to us all, we all have to deal with bereavement and with dying and none of us know the hour we'll leave, there is no alternative ending. It must be hard knowing you're not in with at least a shot at being an old person, but you're absolutely right in saying that we avoid talking about the most common of all human experiences, and it probably doesn't do us any favors.

I was close to death once with a serious illness, I felt the fading and I wasn't afraid. I hope when the time does come that I won't be afraid, but who knows how or when it'll happen or how ready for it any of us will be but I do think that fear may not be as big a part of the process as we assume.

That makes sense in my head, I hope it makes sense to read!

mr chips

I can relate very strongly to that.  I've had a few near-misses myself, including one where I was close to asphyxiation thanks to a problem with medication.  I remember getting very calm and detached from the commotion around me, my hearing and vision just fading out/shutting down, my other half trying to get a response from me and hearing it as though my head was underwater even though she was right next to me.  I'd no sense of (or sudden wish for) an imminent afterlife or the intervention of any deity etc, just an awareness that this was probably it and a complete acceptance of the fact.  My only sorrow was that my other half would be on her own and we hadn't had enough time together - at the same time, that will still be the case if we both make it to 100.
So in terms of what would I do if I found out I'd a year left, I'd probably carry on pretty much as I am, maybe get the finger out in terms of fixing up the motorbike to get it back on the road, and persuade herself to take extended leave of absence from work.  That would give us more time to organise the threesome ...