What's the going rate for money gift for wedding

Whirl_wolle

What's the going rate for a money gift for a wedding for a single person? Person accepted the invite and was due to attend but can't make it now.

Arguably bad form but zero. Depends on how well I know them and how close it was to the wedding.

freshpopcorn

Who is the person?
What can you afford?

Whirl_wolle

Not for me. Trying to find out for someone else.

The person is related to the bride but doesn't know her very well. Haven't seen her since she was small. I suppose only invited due to being a relation.

It's close enough to the wedding.

honeybear

Whirl_wolle wrote: »

Not for me. Trying to find out for someone else.

The person is related to the bride but doesn't know her very well. Haven't seen her since she was small. I suppose only invited due to being a relation.

It's close enough to the wedding.

Think 50 euro would be grand for solo guest

Whirl_wolle

I would persume 75 euro for a single person would be appropriate for a money gift. 150 for a couple.

I think the person should gift as if they were attending because it's close to the wedding. Maybe I'm a wrong a 50 might do.

honeybear

honeybear wrote: »

Think 50 euro would be grand for solo guest

When they can't attend?? no way
send a polite card

Noveight

'bout tree fiddy.

Obviously.

honeybear

bluewolf wrote: »

When they can't attend?? no way
send a polite card

Late notice though

Edgware

honeybear wrote: »

Late notice though

Can we bring the baby?

honeybear

honeybear wrote: »

Late notice though

Remember nightmare last year of my brother (groom) asking me at the last minute to rearrange tables bec of late no shows. NOT GOOD

jamesbere

A tin of USA biscuits

honeybear

Edgware wrote: »

Can we bring the baby?

Pleaseeeeee

Mam of 4

If they want to give something , tel them to give whatever they can afford to give , it's as simple as that . Most brides and grooms would be grateful and appreciative of any gift I think .

DellyBelly

125 would be fair enough 200 if a couple I'd think

Whirl_wolle

Thanks for the replies. If it was me, I would gift as if I was attending and give 75/100 but it's not me. Person doesn't want to give anything because they are not attending now but I think something should be given. I will say 50.

BuboBubo

Going to one myself at the end of September, been told the bride wants cash only, so we're giving €100 between myself and Mr Bubo.

freshpopcorn

BuboBubo wrote: »

Going to one myself at the end of September, been told the bride wants cash only, so we're giving €100 between myself and Mr Bubo.

Just out of interest is that what you were going to give or did you mark it down because they requested cash?

honeybear

DellyBelly wrote: »

125 would be fair enough 200 if a couple I'd think

For single non attenders?

BuboBubo

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Just out of interest is that what you were going to give or did you mark it down because they requested cash?

Usually buy a gift, never gave cash before. Normally spend about €80ish. Haven't been to a wedding since 2008 though.

What do you mean by "Mark it down"?

BuboBubo

BuboBubo wrote: »

Usually buy a gift, never gave cash before. Normally spend about €80ish. Haven't been to a wedding since 2008 though.

What do you mean by "Mark it down"?

People have gotten crazy about throwing money at the couples so they think it should be 200 or more

BuboBubo

bluewolf wrote: »

People have gotten crazy about throwing money at the couples so they think it should be 200 or more

Not a chance, can't afford that - it's in the arßehole of nowhere and on a Thursday. If others want to give €200 that's their business.

freshpopcorn

BuboBubo wrote: »

Usually buy a gift, never gave cash before. Normally spend about €80ish. Haven't been to a wedding since 2008 though.

What do you mean by "Mark it down"?

In my area €200 would be about the norm for a couple attending. Unless they were very close or couldn't finance the amount.
A couple sent out the invitation saying cash only. So a good few markerd down the gift from €200 to €100 or €50.

BuboBubo

freshpopcorn wrote: »

In my area €200 would be about the norm for a couple attending. Unless they were very close or couldn't finance the amount.
A couple sent out the invitation saying cash only. So a good few markerd down the gift from €200 to €100 or €50.

Good to know €50 from a couple would be a bit cheeky wouldn't it!

HappyAsLarE

You wouldn’t want to go below €500. Makes you look poor.

BuboBubo

HappyAsLarE wrote: »

You wouldn’t want to go below €500. Makes you look poor.

Oddly, the really well off people tend to be less generous (I mean in general rather than in this particular situation).

Suppose that's how they stay rich...

freshpopcorn

The only gift I'd never give is a hotel voucher.
I've seen couples and people get vouchers for places that were miles away.
They had to put a good chunk of money to get anything of use out of the voucher and had a time limit to use it.

Water John

Down my way, Cork, weddings would have gone cash with a good few years. Most couples have their house or would wish to furnish it in their own taste.
I find people very happy with the option. Usually a 'post box or treasure chest' at reception. Just slip in the envelope. Normally 150/200 per couple.

SEPT 23 1989

One arm as long as the other

LirW

This question was recently coming up on a big English wedding forum and the vast majority said 20-50 for a single and 100 as a couple (which plenty considered as pretty generous).

Give what you can afford.

Greentopia

I suppose I'm an oddity in this country in this regard but I don't like the idea of giving money or expensive gifts to a wedding couple. And I'm not stingy and am getting married myself in the next few years and will explicitly not ask for or expect anything.

If someone wants to give a small (and I do mean small) gift like a bottle of wine or nice framed photograph or something like that that's nice, but I hate the idea of asking for money from friends and family. All it does is impose a financial obligation on some people who may not have cash to give.

So I guess I'm no help in this thread, sorry :pac:

freshpopcorn

Greentopia wrote: »

I suppose I'm an oddity in this country in this regard but I don't like the idea of giving money or expensive gifts to a wedding couple. And I'm not stingy and am getting married myself in the next few years and will explicitly not ask for or expect anything.

If someone wants to give a small (and I do mean small) gift like a bottle of wine or nice framed photograph or something like that that's nice, but I hate the idea of asking for money from friends and family. All it does is impose a financial obligation on some people who may not have cash to give.

So I guess I'm no help in this thread, sorry :pac:

Asking another question here.
I've heard of people doing similar. Asking for small gifts or none.
In the end tough the couple still end up with usual cash gifts and they kept them.
Do you think you'd give back the cash or keep it?

pconn062

This thread comes up about once every 3 weeks so the definitive answer is give the money hungry shower nothing...or if you give less than €500 you are worse than Hitler.

Hope that helps.

brendanwalsh

200 per head. 400 per couple.

Add more if you know the person well.

Wedding usually costs 150 per head so you need to give the couple something.

Whirl_wolle

pconn062 wrote: »

This thread comes up about once every 3 weeks so the definitive answer is give the money hungry shower nothing...or if you give less than €500 you are worse than Hitler.

Hope that helps.

They are not a money hungry couple.

Whirl_wolle

brendanwalsh wrote: »

200 per head. 400 per couple.

Add more if you know the person well.

Wedding usually costs 150 per head so you need to give the couple something.

Is this true of 150 per head?

Edgware

freshpopcorn wrote: »

In my area €200 would be about the norm for a couple attending. Unless they were very close or couldn't finance the amount.
A couple sent out the invitation saying cash only. So a good few markerd down the gift from €200 to €100 or €50.

What would be wrong with an electric carving knife or a His and Hers towel set.
They were good enough for Bullseye

ixoy

Pay what you can afford - if they take issue with that, then it speaks poorly of them.

Whirl_wolle wrote: »

Is this true of 150 per head?

No - unless you're for some reason dividing in the cost of the DJ/photographer, etc.

freshpopcorn

Edgware wrote: »

What would be wrong with an electric carving knife or a His and Hers towel set.
They were good enough for Bullseye

I know in the UK some couples get gifts but they generally have a register of things they want.
This isn't overly common in Ireland tough.
When people used give gifts in the last couples often were starting out and needed stuff but they don't now because they have already set up home.

BuboBubo

freshpopcorn wrote: »

I know in the UK some couples get gifts but they generally have a register of things they want.
This isn't overly common in Ireland tough.
When people used give gifts in the last couples often were starting out and needed stuff but they don't now because they have already set up home.

Was invited to a UK wedding a few years ago, didn't go. There was a poem about pots and pans included with the invite, they wanted money only.

Didn't give them anything as we didn't go.

andekwarhola

For a normal wedding, we usually go with 100 quid as a single person, 200 as a couple. Personally, I'd usually give more than that to a very close friend or immediate family but that's just me.

Really though, it's just what you can afford in your circumstances. If they don't grasp that, that's not your problem.

pgj2015

i usually give 100 euro or a 100 voucher for a nice restaurant. last wedding i was at 3 months ago, i gave a friend of mine and his bride 100 euro, haven't heard from him since. i also gave them an expensive present for their engagement.

The Rape of Lucretia

I always feel its up to the bride's father to provide a dowry sufficient to make gifts from others superfluous.

Kevin Finnerty

The Rape of Lucretia wrote: »

I always feel its up to the bride's father to provide a dowry sufficient to make gifts from others superfluous.

Why should the woman have to identify as the bride anymore? Plenty of male brides with rich parents about.

Greentopia

freshpopcorn wrote: »

Asking another question here.
I've heard of people doing similar. Asking for small gifts or none.
In the end tough the couple still end up with usual cash gifts and they kept them.
Do you think you'd give back the cash or keep it?

I'd give back cash that was given. Yes, truthfully
Guests will be told that I will not expect or want a cent though so hopefully it won't happen. I will give them very clear instructions to not give money please and thank you, just a small token gift if they would like to give something- will state some examples.

The wedding is our cost to bear, it shouldn't be little more than a shake down to cover the cost.

I was at my fiancees brothers wedding last year in Germany and not a cent passed hands by any of the guests to the couple. We turned up to the ceremony, had a meal out paid for by them then more food back in their house. That's it.

They don't look for money there and I agree with it.

Greentopia

brendanwalsh wrote: »

200 per head. 400 per couple.

Add more if you know the person well.

Wedding usually costs 150 per head so you need to give the couple something.

No, you don't. If the wedding couple can't pay for the wedding themselves they shouldn't be getting married until they can! it's crass and tacky looking for others to pay for it IMO.

€400... bonkers. You don't see this greed happening in other countries in Europe at weddings.

freshpopcorn

Greentopia wrote: »

I'd give back cash that was given. Yes, truthfully
Guests will be told that I will not expect or want a cent though so hopefully it won't happen. I will give them very clear instructions to not give money please and thank you, just a small token gift if they would like to give something- will state some examples.

Thanks for the reply!
I suppose it all depends on your social circle/family and them listening to you. It's just one thing I'd suggest you being careful of because people still give money in my experience.

freshpopcorn

Regarding the working out of the cost per head. Couples can really save money by cutting down on chair covers/ribbons/favors/etc. Whilst still having a good meal.
One I saw a cost per head for a wedding and it felt wrong going on the venue/food. Turned out it included the cars/dresses/suits/etc.

Regie93

I agree with previous comments. Pay what you can afford. If you don't have money to spare, It would be much better to make a small present for a couple. 

Truckermal

Get them a Bondage kit on Wish OP...

theteal

The good old wedding industry eh?

It’s all about the love :pac: