Atheist Godfather For Baptismal Ceremony

tylercheribini

Hi

My sister recently asked me to be godfather to her newborn but as a proud atheist is there any point of me doing this? At the ceremony itself will I be expected to do/say anything? Thanks

Stanford

Atheism is the lack of belief in gods, presumably the new born will be welcomed into the Catholic Church by way of the Sacrament of Baptism, you don't believe in the Christian God or indeed any god so its ingenuousness to say the least

Sleeper12

tylercheribini wrote:

My sister recently asked me to be godfather to her newborn but as a proud atheist is there any point of me doing this? At the ceremony itself will I be expected to do/say anything? Thanks

Most people get their kids christened for the photos and to get the child into the school of their choice.

I don't see what the problem is. You make a few promises to an imaginary god. Everyone is happy. It's not like there is a hell for you to burn in

Stanford

OP describes himself as a "proud atheist", perhaps he takes the matter more seriously

salmocab

tylercheribini wrote: »

Hi

My sister recently asked me to be godfather to her newborn but as a proud atheist is there any point of me doing this? At the ceremony itself will I be expected to do/say anything? Thanks

Your expected to stand and say some oath or other, a promise to see that they are raised in the tradition. If your not comfortable with it just explain it to your sister. It shouldn’t be a big deal to anyone at this stage.

tylercheribini

Sleeper12 wrote: »

You make a few promises to an imaginary god. Everyone is happy. It's not like there is a hell for you to burn in

My atheism is something I feel very strongly about and is not something I am willing to compromise whatsover on. If the ceremony requires to me proclaim anything about the Catholic faith then I wont be saying it. My question is does anyone have any recent experience of being a godfather at a ceremony and what it entails?

looksee

The godfather's main responsibility is to make sure that the child grows up within his religion and is taught the relevant beliefs. If you cannot promise to do this, and you will have to actually promise, then there is no point.

If the whole thing is being treated as a social occasion, as an atheist you should not be encouraging this 'head count' activity which makes the church (of any variety) look stronger than it is.

tylercheribini

looksee wrote: »

The godfather's main responsibility is to make sure that the child grows up within his religion and is taught the relevant beliefs. If you cannot promise to do this, and you will have to actually promise, then there is no point.

If the whole thing is being treated as a social occasion, as an atheist you should not be encouraging this 'head count' activity which makes the church (of any variety) look stronger than it is.

I am willing to attend, just as I have attended church funerals and weddings as a non believer. Atheists can respect the beliefs of others and I dont burst into flames or anything upon entering "consecrated ground" but muttering empty promises would be a step to far for me.

Stanford

Can a non Catholic be a Godparent? No, a person who is not Catholic cannot be a godparent for a Catholic child, because they cannot perform the duties of godparent; for if they do not know and profess the Catholic faith themselves, they cannot teach it to their godchild (Irish Catholic website)

Sleeper12

Not even for your sister?

Have you been christened yourself? If not then you can't be a godfather afaik

Stanford

Sleeper12 wrote: »

Not even for your sister?

Are we now in emotional blackmail territory?

TheShow

The question is, what’s more important to you. Making a few empty promises in front of the padre, or potentially upsetting your sister?

Is your sister deeply religious and does she expect you to teach the child about Christianity? I suspect not if she knows you are a “proud atheist”.
Treat the church thing as a token event and just be good guidance for your “godchild”. It’s nice that your sister thinks enough of you to ask you to do this for her and her child.

Sleeper12

Stanford wrote:

Are we now in emotional blackmail territory?

No but sometimes we are willing to do things for people we love just because it makes them happy.

TheShow

Sleeper12 wrote: »

Not even for your sister?

Have you been christened yourself? If not then you can't be a godfather afaik

They don’t check.

tylercheribini

Sleeper12 wrote: »

Not even for your sister?

Have you been christened yourself? If not then you can't be a godfather afaik

Not even for the Pope.

Yes indoctrinated into the cult like most of the country

Sleeper12

TheShow wrote:

They don’t check.

It's an excuse to let the sister down gently rather than just I'm not doing it

Sleeper12

tylercheribini wrote:

Not even for the Pope.

You've answered your own question there.

Stanford

Sleeper12 wrote: »

It's an excuse to let the sister down gently rather than just I'm not doing it

Why would the OP "let his sister down" by breaking a belief that is deeply personal to him?

salmocab

tylercheribini wrote: »

Not even for the Pope.

Yes indoctrinated into the cult like most of the country

If that’s your feelings I’m struggling to work out why you are here, surely you would just have already said no to your sister.

Sleeper12

Stanford wrote:

Why would the OP "let his sister down" by breaking a belief that is deeply personal to him?

Was his sister being deliberately nasty by asking him? Or do you think that maybe she thought he'd be honoured for her to ask him?

If she is nasty then just be nasty back & say f off. If she is actually being nice and sincere then the polite thing is to let her down gently.

OP does your sister know your beliefs? Seems strange that she'd ask as you feel so strongly about it

tylercheribini

Sleeper12 wrote: »

Was his sister being deliberately nasty by asking him? Or do you think that maybe she thought he'd be honoured for her to ask him?

If she is nasty then just be nasty back & say f off. If she is actually being nice and sincere then the polite thing is to let her down gently.

OP does your sister know your beliefs? Seems strange that she'd ask as you feel so strongly about it

Yes she is very much aware of my strong beliefs but I dont think she was aware of oath swearing etc. If all that mattered was attending I would be fine with it.

Sleeper12

tylercheribini wrote:

My atheism is something I feel very strongly about and is not something I am willing to compromise whatsover on. If the ceremony requires to me proclaim anything about the Catholic faith then I wont be saying it. My question is does anyone have any recent experience of being a godfather at a ceremony and what it entails?

The godfather and godmother stands at the font with the parents and promises to bring the child up as a Christian. There is some voodoo rubbish with lighting of candles.

mollygreene

I wouldn't mind too much what other posters have been saying thus far.

I was recently a godparent and I'm atheist - not in your general Irish society atheist either in that I wasn't baptised Catholic or any religion for that matter. Nobody asked any questions. Just show up on the day, nod at what the priest asks you, wrap the child in the blanket or light a candle -thats the full extent of it.

I find churches and masses really weird, they creep me out a bit but honestly it was grand.

Unless your sister is REALLY religious and wants you to ensure the child has that sort of influence throughout their life - I might reconsider then but if it's like my case where the parents saw me as a good role model for their daughter and I will be a big part of her life/failsafe if something happened to them.

Best of luck OP - grin and bare it. Be grand.

Stanford

My guess is she probably didn't think it would cause him distress and asked him in good faith but OP should answer for himself

tylercheribini

Thanks everyone, she wasnt aware the role of being Godfather was Christian ritual so probably wouldn't have asked me in the first place.

Stanford

Sleeper12 wrote: »

The godfather and godmother stands at the font with the parents and promises to bring the child up as a Christian. There is some voodoo rubbish with lighting of candles.

The mark of a compassionate atheist is that he/she can respect the beliefs of others without rubbishing them

Sleeper12

tylercheribini wrote:

Yes she is very much aware of my strong beliefs but I dont think she was aware of oath swearing etc. If all that mattered was attending I would be fine with it.

There is a lot more to it. She's not very religious herself if she doesn't know this. You literally tell everyone present (& the man above) that you will take on the responsibility of bringing the child up as a Christian. From the churches point of view you are supposed to step in if the child loses its parents and ensure that the child is brought up a Christian.

I don't see any other solution but to tell her you aren't willing to do it.

You can still go to the ceremony and be in the photos etc without praying or making promises to God but definitely not be godfather

Sleeper12

Stanford wrote:

The mark of a compassionate atheist is that he/she can respect the beliefs of others without rubbishing them

You are making too many assumptions

nikkibikki

I think you have to swear to reject Satan, all his works and all his empty promises. And promise that you'll bring up the child in Catholic faith if they lose their parents. And assist the parents in their education as a Catholic I think as well. But these are promises to a god you don't believe in so ask yourself do these promises really matter? If they do, explain to your sister. She will likely be a bit hurt and disappointed. If the promises don't matter, then go ahead and make sure you get extra special gifts for the child for Christmas and birthdays.

lurker2000

The clue is in the title 'God' parent. I would suggest you let someone else stand in for that role and you both come up with a non religious role/title of equal commitment to look after your nephews welfare should the need ever arise.

Stanford

The statement "There is some voodoo rubbish with lighting of candles" is offensive to the people involved