Just give me the brutal truth

Idonotknow

Ok, childbirth, give me the complete truth about it. Not pregnant, but planning on it hopefully in the near future.

Kalimah

It all comes down to attitude! If you think it'll be bad and listen to the horror stories it will be bad. I've had four and it was a doodle for the most part. Number one was a forceps delivery and it was probably worse for him than me! I was stitched up like a Christmas turkey but it was grand after a week or two. Number two I could have done ballet afterwards! Three and four were very easy even though number four was a big baby at nine and a half pounds and I'm only small. I had epidurals on all of them and I wouldn't have a baby any other way. If I could have afforded it I might have had more! I loved being pregnant and childbirth.
What did annoy me was women not telling me the full story of childbirth in case it " would put me off". I'd rather know what I'm letting myself in for.

taytobreath

my x delivered our beautiful daughter and a brown trout

firstlight

taytobreath wrote: »

my x delivered our beautiful daughter and a brown trout

I'd say the trout was bigger than the baby haha laughing me head of here

Idonotknow

taytobreath wrote: »

my x delivered our beautiful daughter and a brown trout

The brown trout is the least of my worries!

Kalimah

I had such pressure before I had my first I don't think there was anything left inside! I didn't even know I was in labour until my waters broke. Baby was nearly 3 weeks early. I was getting a pain every hour or so during the night but I thought it was the same pain when it woke me up! During the following day I spent half it in the loo thinking I had a kidney infection. After getting back into bed miserable for the tenth time the waters broke and it was like a light bulb going off!

taytobreath

firstlight wrote: »

I'd say the trout was bigger than the baby haha laughing me head of here

now i cant delete that damn u, I felt I'm disrespecting my X and daughter there.

Thats the first thing that entered my head when the op said she wants the brutal truth. But I'm a guy and I can only answer from a guys perspective.

Things that I remeber most about labour.

15 hour labour... unable to stand or walk during all of it.

My X got it into her head that the midwife hated her, so there was verbals going on and I was trying to be the mediator and that was bad judgement from me because u need to be on the mothers side when shes giving out/birth. So that started an argument between us.

Daughter was delivered by a suction cup thing that stuck to her head that made her look a bit like the coneheads for some time after it.

Stitches after it, a few of my friends I remember saying a few weeks before to say to the doctor get him to give her extra stitches. But I think if i asked that she would of been my x there and then.

All in all, its a day/night I will never forget for all my life, best day of my life.

Idonotknow

taytobreath wrote: »

now i cant delete that damn u, I felt I'm disrespecting my X and daughter there.

Thats the first thing that entered my head when the op said she wants the brutal truth. But I'm a guy and I can only answer from a guys perspective.

Things that I remeber most about labour.

15 hour labour... unable to stand or walk during all of it.

My X got it into her head that the midwife hated her, so there was verbals going on and I was trying to be the mediator and that was bad judgement from me because u need to be on the mothers side when shes giving out/birth. So that started an argument between us.

Daughter was delivered by a suction cup thing that stuck to her head that made her look a bit like the coneheads for some time after it.

Stitches after it, a few of my friends I remember saying a few weeks before to say to the doctor giving her extra stitches. But I think if i asked that she would of been my x there and then.

All in all, its a day/night I will never forget for all my life, best day of my life.

Ah I don’t think you are disrespecting her. That being said I think I’d give my guy a thump if he told people we knew about it. Anon online is grand, we all know about the extra pushed out

LegacyUser

You’ll be grand. If it was that bad the population would be much smaller, I have 3. 2 with epi, 1with no pain relief. You’ll be grand.

cornflake1

Two babies with no epidural on either. Managed on gas and air only. First labour ten hours from waters breaking to baby in my arms. Second three hours from waking with contractions to baby in my arms. First degree tear and stitches on both.

First baby was 7lb 5oz. Had the syntocinon drip at the end as contractions had slowed down. I was fairly tired at this stage and ended up giving birth on my back with coached pushing. I remember saying I can't, I can't... I remember thinking I am never doing this again! I didn't have any soreness originally but had pain sitting down for about a week from five days post partum. Managed sex again at eight weeks post partum and yes it was a bit sore but improved with time, eventually getting back to normal. The first time was really a case of just getting it done to see if everything was ok! I had one private physio session around that time too, including a pelvic floor exam.

Baby two was 9lbs 14oz and arrived in a hurry. Gave birth upright and midwife let my body decide when to push, only telling me to slow down at one point. Contractions were very intense. Although I had the same type of tear I had no pain post partum. Nine weeks later we haven't managed sex yet, mostly because we have two under two but soon. Have the same physio session in two weeks time so must fit it in before then. Very romantic!

Childbirth is different for everyone. I went private both times and my consultant said that the first time is usually the hardest. I had two spontaneous labours with no interventions so I was lucky that way. I think it is important to educate yourself about it, including all pain relief options, birthing positions and hospital policy. If your baby is in distress at then I think you have to trust the medical professionals to do what is best. I didn't have any epidural but then my labours were not long. My worst experience was the haemorrhoids. Had these in both pregnancies and didn't go away between the two.

Good luck!

catrionanic

Honestly, it's horrific. But totally worth it. I'm 32 weeks pregnant on my second and half terrified, but we all get through it!

sandra06

worst pain in the world but they can give you drugs and you wont feel much/i had a section it was awfull but there was no pain during it ,,after for 6 weeks had awfull pain and could not move much was not allowed to breast feed because of the painkillers i was on but it was the best thing i ever done

mirrorwall14

Failed induction with gels. Went myself overnight. Waters broke at some unknown time so must have trickled. Contractions started at full speed every 1.5-2 minutes, no build up. They HURT. Baby in distress. No pain relief on ward possible as a result. Moved to labour room at 0cm for gas and air still contracting every 1.5 minutes. Gas and air rubbish. Take inhaler to slow contractions (remember thinking WTF my inhaler??!) without much success. Make it to 4cm in 20 minutes. Call for epidural ( I was supposed to be getting an early one). By the time he arrives and set up he gets kicked out for me to push. I wanted to cry and I’m reasonably confident I cursed the world. Instead he came in three pushes with a failed ventouse and epidural (popped off his head). Managed to avoid an emergency C section though as his heart rate sucked. 1hr and 6 minutes from getting to the labour room to baby in arms. No idea about number 2’s but definitely had a number 1 mid contraction in the labour room. Nothing at all I could do. Was mortified and cried but midwifes has it stripped and changed in minutes. 10/10 do not recommend.

Then again I’m 32 weeks pregnant....

firebird84

Spontaneous water breaking (doesn't happen to everyone like in the films), to induction 18 hours later, to wonky epidural that left me in agony (threw up for a lot of it the pain was so bad) for 10 hours until they finally topped it up properly, got to 8 cm, they realised baby was back to back (and he was BIG) and I wasn't getting past 8 so emergency c section. Blood transfusion during recovery because I was so weak.

Real and brutal enough for you? Although I'm in the minority and it must not have been that bad because I got pregnant again but I am having an elective section this time.

shesty

Well people go back and do it second and third times, so it can't be that bad.!!!The body is amazing.However what you also gain is perspective.....for nine months on your first all you think about is labour and then it's over in a few hours/couple of days and you are REALLY into the hard work!!!!

Mindset can have a lot to do with it.If you go into labour terrified, thinking it's awful and scary, its likely that it will be.The body releases adrenaline when scared, and adrenalin slows down contractions,making the whole process longer.Presumably a throwback to our caveman days when we had to find a safe place to give birth.

I tended to take the view that it's painful but it's pain my body knows.....it's doing what it has to.It's not destructive or wrong pain, like a broken arm or something.Doing it upright with minimal interference is ideal.If you have an epidural,you can't be upright.Gas and air births on all three of mine, two upright.No interference on two, small bit of help with the midwives easing out my third as he was unexpectedly a whopper!I have had waters break first on my first,baby born in the sac on my second and waters break close to delivery on my third.Mine have all been short, 7 & 5 hours which helps.The biggest thing is that you get tired if it goes on for too long.That's kind of the biggest issue, because then you struggle to cope.

Gravity is your friend, so upright and moving is the best.But obviously it doesn't always work out that way.There's no other process like it, it just takes over you and you kind of go into yourself and you literally do not care one bit about anything else (which is why you might say anything when in labour!!!)It's sore alright, but you can get through it-your body knows what it's doing, so if you can accept that and roll with it, it makes it easier.There is also a lot more support out there nowadays, Gentle birth, hypnobirthing, yoga techniques etc to help with any worries you might have.

lazygal

I had c sections so thought I'd weigh in with my experience, because up to 30% of first time pregnant people end up having one. I found the operation absolutely fine and had a textbook recovery both times. There was some internal scarring found the second time and a small op on my bowel, but no noticeable difference in recovery. I'm having a third section next month and while I know things can and do go wrong I'm still hoping that all will be well again. I managed my pain well and was off medication by the second week.

I had never planned on having c sections, I just don't seem to grow babies that want to come out the vagina! All in all I didn't find any of it especially brutal.

bee06

You could hear 200 different stories and you still won’t know until you’re in the throes of it. It’s a very individual experience. I deliberately avoided other people’s stories for that reason.

maxsmum

Elective C section... it was pain free and stress free.. and picked the birthday!

khaldrogo

Being married to a midwife and witnessing 1 hospital delivery and 1 home birth in a pool my only advise is to do it as naturally as possible except for the gas/air.

The stories I've heard direct from my midwife wife about women having much tougher and longer labours due to being induced and having epidurals would shock you.

Also, episiotomies are not needed half as much as they are carried out. The consultant in the hospital on our first was pushing very early for it but my wife knew what's what and said no. 20 mins later out popped the baby!!!

But at the end of the day you do what you feel is right for you.

milhous

Two kids, two epidurals. In contrast to above on first kid midwife kept telling my wife she wasn't really in labour (as in not that far along) and wouldn't examine her. We insisted on examination (wife is medical field so had a fair idea!) and she was nearly too far gone for epidural. She was very happy she got it, up until then it was a very rough ride.

Anyway childbirth is long and tough but you'll never be happier, wife was two weeks over on both and was induced each time, still took 12-18hours..

We have found memories of that, it's the following sleep deprivation that gets us.. but we did it again so how bad can it be?! 😂😂

angeldelight

Every midwife I met after giving birth said “oh you poor thing” or something to that effect when they heard how it had gone (induction that took two days to get going, getting to 10 but then baby not descending, back labour due to baby facing wrong way ending in emergency C section) and honestly - I’d do it all again in the morning

jimmycrackcorm

Idonotknow wrote:

Ok, childbirth, give me the complete truth about it. Not pregnant, but planning on it hopefully in the near future.

It was great. My OH went into labour at 6 am. By lunchtime nothing much was happening so she sent me to the pub.
I got a call back at 6pm. Great day.

rainbow kirby

I've had one all natural birth centre birth and one three day induction which was a bit of a disaster (induced at 38 weeks for reduced movements). Managed both on gas and air. It's painful as hell but the result is worth it.

nazzy

I agree with the post about attitude. If you feel mentally prepared and are open to things not going to 'plan', you will get through it easier. Ante natal classes did it for me. Up until then, I wouldn't think about it.

I was 8 hours in labour at home, two baths, slept a part of it, two hours in hospital by myself, waters broke, baby came three hours later. All natural, no epidural. I went into delivery suite at 5.20pm told them I wanted no interventions. By 5.30pm, I was begging for epidural. Didn't get it, baby was born 7.49pm.

I had a deathly fear of child birth until I got pregnant. Then my perspective changed.

It's far from pleasant. But you do forget. And it is worth it all.

Every experience and story is different, do what is best for you and best of luck!!

threescompany

Everyone seems to have different experiences- some more difficult than others. Some can manage pain better. I found pregnancy v hard but others seem to love it. It’s a lottery. 3 sections - complications on all. It’s not easy in my opinion but I think the delivery is less of a an ordeal than the pregnancy. 20 weeks of puking is no fun. It’s all hard work but seriously the best thing ever when your baby is born. Worth it alk.

GreeBo

khaldrogo wrote: »

Also, episiotomies are not needed half as much as they are carried out.

Its preventative, you dont want a tear instead.

GreeBo

No one has mentioned hemorrhoids yet so I will...HEMORRHOIDS!

Also an infection if you need stitches is not fun.

Day Lewin

You can't give a "truth" because every childbirth is different. Really, truly.
I gave birth six times and each time was different.
It is broadly true that the first time takes longer and hurts more - like stretching new elastic LOL
It is very intense, in many ways: that's probably always true.
I had one birth that was almost painless :-) not the first one, though.
I always found that plenty of good information, and understanding the process, really helped to dispel anxiety and a prevailing attitude of hysteria. I never had an epidural, but would have had for the last if I'd predicted that it would such be a slow and awkward delivery - (like saggy old elastic, lol)

It is an amazing thing to experience - bringing a new child into the world - yes, it hurts but they give you stuff for that - and seeing the bright wise eyes of your own child, all damp and warm and so precious - don't be scared, it'll be fine!

khaldrogo

GreeBo wrote:

Its preventative, you dont want a tear instead.

I understand that but my point was that, if left, a high percentage won't tear. But some consultants just want to snip without allowing the woman any input from what I've seen and heard.

GreeBo

khaldrogo wrote: »

I understand that but my point was that, if left, a high percentage won't tear. But some consultants just want to snip without allowing the woman any input from what I've seen and heard.

A high percentage of diseases wont kill you, but you still treat them just in case.

In our case it was the midwife who suggested a snip when it seemed obvious that our daughter wasn't going to make it otherwise since the vaginal walls were no longer stretching. Also there had been some concern over heartbeat so the snip sped up the delivery.

khaldrogo

OK. In your case. Super. I wasn't suggesting anything specific about your case. I'm talking about my personal experiences and my wife's thousands of deliveries.