Just give me the brutal truth

kastasia

So first of all, just to reiterate what everyone else is saying, every birth different, and I'm not sure I'd like to read all the details before. Definitely do not read the book 'this is going to hurt'. I did and regretted it!
So I was due the Tuesday morning and had appointment that day but the Saturday before I was planning on going to one last prenatal yoga class but I had some blood. Rang the hospital, told if not soaking a pad in an hour no need to come in. About 6pm contractions started (was expecting something more like period /stomach pain, but this was more in my back, but they were coming every so often so figured this must be what they were) told to come in when down to every 5 minutes. Downloaded a contractions app, put on my tens machine, checked I had everything. About 10.30 went in to hospital. They checked me, wasn't in active labour. Talk of going home, I wasn't really sure and then contractions were still regular (and no fun) so checked into the antenatal ward and my husband went home.
I didn't get any sleep, on the yoga ball all night as sitting /lying on bed too painful. Other people were snoring and had no idea how. My husband brought loads of food in the morning, all the snacks they suggest, but all day I could only manage a few jellies. About 6pm when they checked me I was finally in active labour and basically given the option of going to delivery ward (where I knew I'd kind of be on timer but also would have option of gas and air). I waited another hour, but was just so tired so decided to go. In delivery ward they had their own yoga balls so was using that. They broke my waters and since there was meconium I was put on continuous monitoring. I knew they'd check in a few hours and most likely if I hadn't progressed much further I'd be put on oxytocin so I decided to 'save' the gas and air for then and just continued with tens machine. When I was though, and it kicked in, it was just so much stronger than I was expecting and I guess I hadn't built up to this gradually. The gas and air didn't seem to do anything for me and I caved and asked for an epidural. So from then I was up on bed, felt so weird not having control of legs. But also I felt so much better and calmer, even if I felt stupidly like I failed (which is a stupid feeling, but still...) I still had one section that was painful, but that wasn't the worst as it meant later that I knew when to push. Things moved along quickly enough and in the end, shortly before 3am on the Monday morning, I only needed a few strong pushes and he was out. I had a second degree tear, but didn't feel that and it was stitched up fine. I don't think there was anything horrific about it but you can't really know how you'll feel until it's happening and then you'll deal with it.

limnam

Idonotknow wrote: »

Ok, childbirth, give me the complete truth about it. Not pregnant, but planning on it hopefully in the near future.

When they bring out your tea and toast.


Leave your hubby/partner have it.


You've no idea what we've just been through.

Molly1983

limnam wrote: »

When they bring out your tea and toast.


Leave your hubby/partner have it.


You've no idea what we've just been through.

When I had my baby the midwife brought tea/toast for himself too

mirrorwall14

Molly1983 wrote: »

When I had my baby the midwife brought tea/toast for himself too

Mine too!

Meeeee79

limnam wrote: »

When they bring out your tea and toast.


Leave your hubby/partner have it.


You've no idea what we've just been through.

Huh?? Why?

annoyedgal

There is simply no feeling in the world like bringing your first child home from hospital, it's magical. Everything that goes before is worth it.

AttentionBebe

I've had one with and one without epidural, and I'd go without if I had to do it again. The caveat is that my first was relatively quick and I was banking on progressing even quicker next time around. With a longer labour I'm not sure I'd have the stamina. When I hit the point of transition I was dry retching with the intensity of it, and if I'd been offered an epidural there and then I'd have taken it! When you hit that point of "I can't do this" it's not long left though and in the end she was born shortly afterwards. Being able to hop up and into the shower afterwards, catheter-free was amazing! Gas and air is the biz and I think it works as much as a distraction as anything else. I didn't want to let go of it :pac:

The HorsesMouth

Induction due to baby being 2 weeks over due. Body went into shock due to reaction to the gel..no sleep all night because baby was flip flopping and had to be monitored all night. Induction no.2 the next day with half the gel..fake contractions all day but no labour. Induction no. 3 that night...same story fake contractions but cervix barely dialted..another sleepless night. Just about broke my waters on day 3 but despite contractions going on all day, that evening was sent for emergency c section. Went into severe shock after baby was born, I was just so exhausted. Im not even going to get into what happened after that! ..sooo..not a good experience to say the least. Apart from the fact that baby was born healthy.
Elective section for me this time!

jelly&icecream

Just had my second today so will write this while it's fresh in my head.
Woke up from broken sleep at 7am. Got out of bed and had a sizable leak of fluid. No contractions. Kept leaking as I walked to bathroom. Had a shower and waddled round leaking fluid and organising stuff. Husband got toddler up and ready for creche at 8. Headed into hospital for just after 9. Had contractions that where like period pains, pretty mild at this stage.

Was put on trace in emergency unit to check baby was in good shape and everything checked out.moved up to ward after hour or 2. Was only 1-2cm dilated. Contractions got steadily more painful and frequent. Went out for a few walks but it got to painful to do that. Midwife gave me a birthing ball to sit on and that was most comfortable place to plonk myself. Pain really ramped up at 3ish. Asked to be examined to see what story was as I felt epidural was going to be needed. She put me off for 20 mins then did the exam... Only 4 cm I couldn't believe it! She said they'd probably move me up to the labor ward in the next hour and that she'd call them. I could get the epidural then.

Pain got worse and worse and then I felt like I needed to poop (sorry for tmi!). Midwife came in and suddenly everything kicked into action. I was put in a wheel chair and wheeled up in agony to labour ward groaning like a crazy lady. Was told I'd be having the baby in next 20 mins so no epidural and I had her about 20 mins later after a fair amount of pushing and some gas and air. Was up and about very quickly, able to have shower etc which was great. I had a small ish tear that the consultant stitched up. He missed the birth! Pretty sure I did poop in the delivery room but no one let on.


On my first I had the epidural and it was a very different experience. Was in labour over 24 hours and don't regret the epidural for a moment but they needed an episiotomy and vacuum to get her out. She had a 98 percentile head so I think there would have been an intervention no matter what. Lot of people in the room and it was all a but of a blur. I can't really remember several hours after I had her.

I had no particular birth plan other than go with the flow and that worked best for me!

shesty

Congrats jelly!Often an internal exam can speed things up.Happened on my third too.

Digs

AttentionBebe wrote: »

I've had one with and one without epidural, and I'd go without if I had to do it again. The caveat is that my first was relatively quick and I was banking on progressing even quicker next time around. With a longer labour I'm not sure I'd have the stamina. When I hit the point of transition I was dry retching with the intensity of it, and if I'd been offered an epidural there and then I'd have taken it! When you hit that point of "I can't do this" it's not long left though and in the end she was born shortly afterwards. Being able to hop up and into the shower afterwards, catheter-free was amazing! Gas and air is the biz and I think it works as much as a distraction as anything else. I didn't want to let go of it :pac:

Totally agree with all this. I’ve had two births without epidurals *but* the caveat being my labours are super quick so even if I’d wanted one I wouldn’t have time. I don’t know how I’d cope with a longer labour. My aim going in is to avoid epidural for the reasons afterwards that you’ve mentioned but I’d be open to it if I felt I needed one.

I wouldn’t describe my labours as brutal or horrific. Fast, furious and intensely painful for sure but a means to an end and I’m back for a third time. I’d ignore sweeping, one size fits all descriptions of labour. As someone else mentioned everyone has a different experience, so go in with an open mind. Some can be brutal, some can be absolutely fine. Cherry pick the stories you listen to.

jelly&icecream

shesty wrote: »

Congrats jelly!Often an internal exam can speed things up.Happened on my third too.

That could have been it... Everything moved very quickly after it anyway. Glad I didn't get the epidural in the end. Could have done with gas and air a bit earlier though!

shesty

I've actually been lucky on all mine and gone straight from Emergency rooom to delivery suite-never had to spend time on the ward in labour, thankfully!!I get treated for Group B strep, and because my waters broke first first time round, I went straight in (had been told I had to) and was taken straight to delivery for antibiotic drip.They gave me oxytocin to try and move things along but things were well underway and it wasn't necessary.
Once my first labour was about six hours, they didn't leave me hanging around on subsequent labours, the expectation being that they could be very short.Thankfully, because I need that gas and air!!

Kalimah

I was only in the hospital for about 4 or 5 hours each time so it was relatively quick. I had epidurals each time. I remember on my first ante natal visit the obstetrician asked me about pain relief. I said I might try get on without it. He laughed and said he didn't think that would be happening. I'm 5 feet 1 and small boned. When the time came I was passing out with the pain and my poor hubby was very concerned. As soon as the epidural kicked in he was let back inside the room and couldn't believe the difference. I don't think he'd have stayed in the delivery room if I hadn't had epidurals for any of the deliveries.

catrionanic

Kalimah wrote: »

I was only in the hospital for about 4 or 5 hours each time so it was relatively quick. I had epidurals each time. I remember on my first ante natal visit the obstetrician asked me about pain relief. I said I might try get on without it. He laughed and said he didn't think that would be happening. I'm 5 feet 1 and small boned. When the time came I was passing out with the pain and my poor hubby was very concerned. As soon as the epidural kicked in he was let back inside the room and couldn't believe the difference. I don't think he'd have stayed in the delivery room if I hadn't had epidurals for any of the deliveries.

My husband is NOT an emotional man (I sometimes wonder whether he has feelings at all!). The only time I've ever seen him cry in our 9 years together was when I was writhing about in agony on the hospital bed. He didn't cry when our son was born or anything, but said that watching me in labour was like watching someone you love being tortured!

I did have a very hard, fast and furious labour though.

Kalimah

Ditto with mine. Nothing fazes him but I think me saying I wanted to die threw him a bit!

Peatys

Idonotknow wrote: »

Ok, childbirth, give me the complete truth about it.

Lady in the bed next to my wife was told not to be such a drama queen, that she wasn't the first woman to give birth and to save her energy for pushing.

Myself and my wife just looked at eachother..


3 months later my wife decides she wants another so the kids can be close in age.

We now have a 5 and 4yr old. Both birthdays in Feb.

ruahead

Bad but you know it's gonna be so not a surprise! I wanted to experience the pain, to see what women have gone through forever. I did ask for epidural though but was too late ( well I was 9 cm dilated when I asked and they said it was too late), I was in labour for another 8 hours though so prob could have had it. So I did it mostly pain relief free.
They discovered that baby was back to back and did a spinal tap and forceps last minute . I experienced it all bar pushing her out..

Ina May Gaskin is the author to read for positive birth feelings and attitude. I loved her guide to childbirth.

Purple Mountain

I only have the one but the one thing that I can tell you that the pain of childbirth is the very same as bad period pain.
I was always curious if the pain was like a tummy bug pain or period pain etc. and it is 100% like the feeling of a bad period.
So if you go through that every month, you know what you're in for.
I have been plagued by bad periods all my life so I got quite far into the labour without the epidural but when I needed it, I was damn glad to have it.
I always say don't be a martyr. If you need pain relief, ask for it!

mirrorwall14

Purple Mountain wrote: »

I only have the one but the one thing that I can tell you that the pain of childbirth is the very same as bad period pain.
I was always curious if the pain was like a tummy bug pain or period pain etc. and it is 100% like the feeling of a bad period.
So if you go through that every month, you know what you're in for.
I have been plagued by bad periods all my life so I got quite far into the labour without the epidural but when I needed it, I was damn glad to have it.
I always say don't be a martyr. If you need pain relief, ask for it!

God mine was waaaaay worse than period pain and I’m on ponston for the first 48hrs for doubling over. Then again mine was just so fast I wasn’t getting a break and no time for epidural

catrionanic

Purple Mountain wrote: »

I only have the one but the one thing that I can tell you that the pain of childbirth is the very same as bad period pain.
I was always curious if the pain was like a tummy bug pain or period pain etc. and it is 100% like the feeling of a bad period.
So if you go through that every month, you know what you're in for.
I have been plagued by bad periods all my life so I got quite far into the labour without the epidural but when I needed it, I was damn glad to have it.
I always say don't be a martyr. If you need pain relief, ask for it!

Lol mine was absolutely nothing like period pain. Maybe for the first 2% of it (but that's when you're not even in active labour yet). Period pain and childbirth are not even on the same scale.

Loveinapril

I was induced on my only baby. I had back labour pains for a good 24 hours before hitting 3cm for the epidural. The back pains were similar to period pain in your back but obviously far far worse. The contractions were painful but I managed to get through them with breathing techniques until the epidural came. The epidural really helped for about 8 hours but then wore off a bit so I could feel every contraction. I thought the epidural meant that my son would just pop out but you REALLY have to work for the delivery. Pushing is exhausting and really intense, imagine every minute having to spend about 30 seconds holding your breath to push out the biggest poop imaginable. Then again, and again, and again. I was pushing about 1.5 hours (vomiting and all) before a doctor was called to do a ventouse (suction) delivery. This involved an episiotomy. I didn't feel any of that but the pain from the stitches afterwards had me in tears, and that lasted a good two weeks. But we are just about to start trying for another baby so it didn't traumatise me!

Purple Lemons

I had bad period cramping for 2 hours so decided to ring maternity unit and get their opinion. Was told to come in and they'd check me over. Nurse didn't think it was active labour and was about to send me home to bed with paracetamol for my back pain but I was examined just to be sure. 9cm dilated, brought straight to delivery room no time for pain relief and had my little girl in my arms maybe 25/30 minutes later.

Sounds like a lovely easy birth but I begged not to be cut and I was still given an episiotomy after 5 pushes, placenta was retained and I was sent home only to be back two weeks later after haemorrhaging on my bathroom floor. D&C was done and they noticed that my stitches hadn't been done properly at the birth and so I was resutured. I signed myself out of hospital as soon as I was able to get on my feet. Birth was as good, quick and painless as I could ever have expected but I will never ever forget how traumatic things became postpartum.

annoyedgal

Also had a retained placenta on my first along with an infection. The procedure in theatre to remove it was way worse than labour for me! Iv antibiotocs and nicu for baby thanks to infection. Also episiotomy and ventouse.
Had a way harder back labour with number 2 and failed epidural. However no stiches, tears and placenta delivered no problem.
Give me harder labour with no complications after every day of the week!



quote="Purple Lemons;107906560"]I had bad period cramping for 2 hours so decided to ring maternity unit and get their opinion. Was told to come in and they'd check me over. Nurse didn't think it was active labour and was about to send me home to bed with paracetamol for my back pain but I was examined just to be sure. 9cm dilated, brought straight to delivery room no time for pain relief and had my little girl in my arms maybe 25/30 minutes later.

Sounds like a lovely easy birth but I begged not to be cut and I was still given an episiotomy after 5 pushes, placenta was retained and I was sent home only to be back two weeks later after haemorrhaging on my bathroom floor. D&C was done and they noticed that my stitches hadn't been done properly at the birth and so I was resutured. I signed myself out of hospital as soon as I was able to get on my feet. Birth was as good, quick and painless as I could ever have expected but I will never ever forget how traumatic things became postpartum.[/quote]

Toots

What I learned is that definitely no two labours are the same.

First time around was 41 hours from noticing contractions to baby in my arms. Started on Friday night, arrived in hospital Saturday afternoon to be told I wasn't dilated enough to go to the delivery ward, but could be admitted to the antenatal ward for a few hours, said feck that and went home. Arrived back Sunday morning, contractions every 2 minutes, thought I was about go give birth. Examined and was 2cm, was fit to murder someone. They broke my waters. Managed on gas and air for another couple of hours and then got the epidural. They also put me on the synotocin drip to speed me up.

Fell asleep for a couple of hours and then they had to do a fetal blood sample because he was showing signs of distress. Results came back that he was in distress, so I was prepped for instrumental delivery - they tried forceps, wouldn't work, then suction cup and a combination of that and me pushing had him out in 15 minutes, just around tea time on Sunday night, exactly 1 week overdue, weighing 8lb 2oz. I had an episiotomy, so that needed a bit of repair work. In terms of pooping, I didn't poop, pee or puke during the labour/birth.

What I didn't expect was how much pain I'd be in AFTER the birth (and how feckin scabby the hospital was with the painkillers) I was sore for about 2/3 weeks afterwards. I ended up having to go to my GP a day after I got home because over the counter painkillers weren't cutting it. He gave me ponston, which worked better. Bleeding stopped after about 5 weeks and attempted the no-pants-dance a few days after it had fully stopped. It was grand, but took it very slow. I think my poor husband was more scared than I was :pac:

So, in summary, 7 days over, 41 hour labour, epidural, all the interventions apart from a section, no loss of control of bowels or bladder, fairly painful recovery.

Second time around (different hospital) I was told that it would probably be quicker than the first time, so we were all joking about trying to get in under the 24 hour mark. Turns out it was less than 4 hours between contractions starting to baby in my arms. Labour started about 4am, woke my hubby about 5 to say I think things had started, then my waters broke (turned out it was just the forewaters, main bag was still there) contractions were about 10 mins apart. I rang the hospital because I wasn't sure whether to hang on or go in, they said if it's second baby and waters are gone then head in.

Left the house at 6, and by that stage contractions were about 2-3 mins apart and I could no longer talk during them. Dropped my son to my parents house, and by 6.15 they were 90 seconds apart and I pretty much screamed the whole way in to the Rotunda. Told the hubby to pull over and call an ambulance because I was sure she'd be born in the car. By the time we got to Donnybrook, he wasn't stopping at red lights anymore. Got to the hospital at 6.55am, pissed myself on the street outside while having a contraction. Was 5cm dilated when we got there and, although I'd originally wanted a natural birth, I asked for the epidural. I think my exact words were "either give me the epidural or kill me, I can't take this anymore". Got to the delivery room, anaesthetist came in to put in my drip, I puked while he was doing that. They told me to sit on the edge of the bed to get the epi in, but when I stood up, I pooped myself, and all of a sudden I could feel her head. They told me to pant, and then with the next contraction she was born - in the bag of waters - all 10lb 6oz of her! Had a very minor grade 2 tear, stitches done and then we were all having tea and toast by 8am. My stitches weren't overly painful, I was able to get by on paracetamol and neurofen and only needed those for about 5 days post birth. My back was absolutely fecked afterwards, but I think that was because the baby was so huge.

I recovered a lot quicker this time around, not sure if it was because I didn't have an epidural/episiotomy or if it was because she's my second baby, or if it's because I'm breastfeeding this time around. The bleeding was completely stopped by 10 days this time. The only thing I wasn't prepared for this time was how bad the post-birth pains would be - I'm told they get worse with each subsequent pregnancy.

So 2nd time around, 3 days overdue, labour less than 4 hours, no interventions, gas and air, had the trifecta of pee/poo/puke and a very easy recovery.

I found my first birth very traumatic because all of these interventions I had were without my consent, and I wasn't informed until after the fact. The aftercare in the hospital wasn't great either. I developed very severe post natal depression afterwards, and it was a few years before I recovered. I was terrified of getting it again this time, but I had great support from my care team both pre and post natally and a plan was put in place before the birth in the event that I started to feel depressed. Also this time my birth experience was very positive, the hospital encouraged me to write a birth plan beforehand, and it was reviewed with the midwives and my consultant. First time around when I asked about a birth plan I was laughed at and told not to bother.

nazzy

Toots, your post is amazing. So frank and honest and you fairly went through the mill!!

I think that it's amazing that women go through that first time around and then still go through it all again. It's how casual you say 41 hours. It's like you're saying 'I had a piece of toast'....

Purple Mountain

catrionanic wrote: »

Lol mine was absolutely nothing like period pain. Maybe for the first 2% of it (but that's when you're not even in active labour yet). Period pain and childbirth are not even on the same scale.

No what I mean is that the 'type' of pain is like a period pain.
The tightening feeling like a cog being pulled tight.
Obviously labour is much more intense but I found I could manage for a while with the pain because I get awful period pain but then when it exceeded the usual period threshold I asked for epidural.
My point is that if you never experienced period pain then you're at a huge disadvantage.

Digs

nazzy wrote: »

Toots, your post is amazing. So frank and honest and you fairly went through the mill!!

I think that it's amazing that women go through that first time around and then still go through it all again. It's how casual you say 41 hours. It's like you're saying 'I had a piece of toast'....

Agreed! Toots, you’re a total legend.... 41hrs!
Also agree on the after pains. Mine were non existant on my first but holy moly they hurt for a week + on my second, enough for paracetamol. I was not prepared and it was only when I said it my Mam remembered herself. Bracing myself for them after #3!!

Toots

Thanks guys the after pains totally knocked me for 6, like first time around it was like a mild period cramp but this time I remember getting a wave of them so bad that I threw up from the pain, and that was about 10 days after the birth. It was as bad as the labour pains.

AttentionBebe

Oh I'd forgotten about the after pains! SO much worse after my second. It felt like I was in labour all over again!