Just give me the brutal truth

rainbow kirby

Agreed re afterpains - one of the few benefits of a 6 night hospital stay after having my second baby was being able to get the good painkillers for them!

catrionanic

I didn't get any significant after pains with my first baby and now I'm nervous... are they like contractions as the uterus contracts down? Does breastfeeding help them?

Millem

wrote: »

I didn't get any significant after pains with my first baby and now I'm nervous... are they like contractions as the uterus contracts down? Does breastfeeding help them?

Breastfeeding intensifies them!!
I vomited on myself from the pain....didn’t want to move for fear of losing the latch!!!

Digs

Millem wrote: »

Breastfeeding intensifies them!!
I vomited on myself from the pain....didn’t want to move for fear of losing the latch!!!

Snap! Breastfeeding definitley does not help.

Toots

catrionanic wrote: »

I didn't get any significant after pains with my first baby and now I'm nervous... are they like contractions as the uterus contracts down? Does breastfeeding help them?

It's the uterus contracting back down to its original size, but apparently with each pregnancy it gets looser (imagine a balloon that's been blown up and let down over and over) so the contractions need to be stronger each time to make sure it goes back.

Breastfeeding intensified them for me, but they weren't bad every single feed, sometimes I'd only feel mild cramps, like light period pain, then they'd be worse other times. The time I mentioned above was about 10 days after the birth and I hadn't had the pains for days so it was totally out of the blue. It was like one last hurrah for my uterus until the next pregnancy :pac:

Goldenlady

Loveinapril wrote: »

I was induced on my only baby. I had back labour pains for a good 24 hours before hitting 3cm for the epidural. The back pains were similar to period pain in your back but obviously far far worse. The contractions were painful but I managed to get through them with breathing techniques until the epidural came. The epidural really helped for about 8 hours but then wore off a bit so I could feel every contraction. I thought the epidural meant that my son would just pop out but you REALLY have to work for the delivery. Pushing is exhausting and really intense, imagine every minute having to spend about 30 seconds holding your breath to push out the biggest poop imaginable. Then again, and again, and again. I was pushing about 1.5 hours (vomiting and all) before a doctor was called to do a ventouse (suction) delivery. This involved an episiotomy. I didn't feel any of that but the pain from the stitches afterwards had me in tears, and that lasted a good two weeks. But we are just about to start trying for another baby so it didn't traumatise me!

Oh my god i could have written this. Your labour was exactly identical to mine! Epidural wearing off is not fun!!! I must say I found labour far worse than I could have ever imagined. Thankfully we have our son here safe & sound, but i wouldn't do it again, not a hope! 8 weeks later & still sore below

Stubility

ripped vaginas, varicose veins, incontinence; the worst is probably the screaming.. for the next 7 years. Those things aren't guaranteed tho so I'm sure it'll be fine

Kaylami

I've done it 5 times now. All very different.

Baby 1 induction- waters broken at 9pm. Period cramps started at 2am. At 5am asked for some panadol and was 10cm. Only gas and air for pushing.

Baby 2 c section as she was breech. Got post operative pneumonia. That wasn't fun. I wouldn't recommend coughing with a section incision.

Baby 3 induction - waters broken at 6pm straight onto drip. Epidural given shortly after as it was a vbac. Gas and air and epidural but it only numbed half of me for some reason.

Baby 4 induction- waters broken at 9am contractions started at 9pm and she was born at 8 am the following morning. I begged for the epidural. Baby got an infection and was in NICU for 5 days. After pains nearly killed me.

Baby 5 went into labour myself for the first time. Only problem was it was 36 weeks. Pains started at 11am just assumed they were normal end of pregnancy pains. By 1pm couldn't talk and hospital was over an hour away. Got there at 2pm and 5cm. Baby was breech. Emergency section at 6pm. He was in NICU for 12 days. Recovery after section was fine up and about the next morning.

Loveinapril

Goldenlady wrote: »

Oh my god i could have written this. Your labour was exactly identical to mine! Epidural wearing off is not fun!!! I must say I found labour far worse than I could have ever imagined. Thankfully we have our son here safe & sound, but i wouldn't do it again, not a hope! 8 weeks later & still sore below

I feel your pain. I had what they call 'granulation' at my scar, basically a tiny bit of skin that meant I could feel my scar a lot. I went back to the Rotunda (the appointment arrived about 6 months after I had the baby!) and the doctor said that sex was the best way to wear down the scar. I know you are unlikely to be thinking that way now but I can confirm it works... I still can't bring myself to use a tampon though!

forgodssake

Baby no 1
Waters broke 3.5 weeks early and 2hours later was born ! Had not a nice time vacuum episiotomy and forceps . also have medical condition which meant having lots of extra docs in room. pains came so quick and near had no time for break in between .went into shock shortly after. fell asleep woke up to my boyf eating my toast because "it was going cold " asked him who owned the baby in the incubator . actually didn't remember having the baby at all ! was petrified as most first time moms are.

Baby no 2
Had a sweep 10 days before EDD. Contractions started 2 hours later . Got epidural . was amazing . Gave birth looking out at the city lights twinkling in the dark of night . 4 hours start to finish .Baby taken to NICU shortly after , undiagnosed condition , we hadn't a clue . Have a long road ahead with this baby but wouldn't change things for the world .
Had a fab midwife too . Makes all the difference when you have someone who instils confidence in you .

Baby no 3

Had a massive bleed at 30 weeks ,brought to labour ward given steroids for baby's lungs , everything stopped went home . Few more small bleeds over next 4 weeks but had another big one at 34 weeks . Was induced then . Pains much different when induced I think . Was born 3 hours after induction . Thankfully was big enough to come to ward with me .And all was well !

Baby no 4

final baby I swear !! Went 3 days over . Natural labour just gas and air , 1.5 hours in total . all good .

This thread has made me so nostalgic !! To the OP every labour is different , every woman is different and none of us knows what will happen . I wish you the very best of luck and remember the pain of labour disappears the second you see your little baby .

irishgirl19

OK I'll give you my version of events. Havent read previous replies but everyone is different.
The pain is unreal (I was induced) but in a weird way it's like your body knows what to do and just goes with it and you cope! Hope that makes sense.
I felt a bit out of it but that was probably the gas.
The epidural was great because once I got it the pain more or less subsided and I was able to get some rest. It was hard to push because I couldn't feel much.
I found after the birth much harder. When I stood up I literally felt like my insides were going to fall out everytime.
I was very naive and didnt realise how much I would bleed either. I'd have 2 of them ugly green pads on at once for the first week.
Don't get me started on the first poo haha.
Anyway would I do it again...yes!

shesty

The problem with the epidural is that you are generally pushing in a position that is not good for giving birth, usually sitting up/lying down, and you can't feel what's going on.Resulting in ventouse/forceps etc.
That being said, I can 100% understand if you have been in labour for hours you need a break from the pain and the effort, which is where the epidural is a godsend.
I gave birth lying down the first time, with gas and air, and although my memory is hazy, there was a lot more effort and a bit more damage done.There was also retained placenta, resulting in a post partum haemorrage ten days later and a D&C.By contrast births 2 & 3 were upright, and the difference is immense.Your body just takes over and does it.The only time I was told to push/not push was towards the very end of my 3rd, as he was unexpectedly very big and his shoulders got a little bit stuck....they got me to pant and they eased him out gently.Those midwives are fairly amazing, a 10lb6 oz baby and he did next to no damage, but all because of them.
The biggest thing is to accept that you have no control over the actual birthing process but your body knows exactly what it is doing, so trust it.

irishgirl19

GreeBo wrote:

No one has mentioned hemorrhoids yet so I will...HEMORRHOIDS!

Omg yes. I take everything I said back. The piles are the worst.
Ask for a script when you are being discharged whether you think you need it or not.
I said I didnt need on and a few days later was in bits

Millem

OP I will just say it’s horrendous but your mind plays tricks on you where you will forget how sore it was and will do it again

I am 1 year post my second and I still haven’t forgetten the pain.........yet!!!
I reckon another year I will have blanked it all out and be ready again

Toots

irishgirl19 wrote: »

Don't get me started on the first poo haha.
Anyway would I do it again...yes!

Another thing nobody tells you about! First time around I was downing milk of magnesia from the minute my epidural wore off, because the doctor said not to let myself get constipated. By day 3, I really needed to go, but couldn't, and was terrified to try pushing in case I burst my stitches. In holles st I was told I had to have had a bowel motion before I would be discharged. I asked could I have another epidural.

Second time, I was in the Rotunda and they didn't have that rule. I also knew that pushing a little bit wouldn't do any harm, but it was definitely easier in the comfort of my own home.

Millem wrote: »

OP I will just say it’s horrendous but your mind plays tricks on you where you will forget how sore it was and will do it again

I am 1 year post my second and I still haven’t forgetten the pain.........yet!!!
I reckon another year I will have blanked it all out and be ready again

We'd always said we'd want a big family (space and finances permitting) but this time around when we got back to the ward, I said to my husband that I really didn't think I could go through all that again, and would he be ok with 2 kids. He was grand with that, then about 2 hours later my consultant popped in to say congratulations. Had a brief chat, and as he's leaving he goes "So will I be seeing you again for the next one?" I replied "Absolutely!" (husband was like "feck sake!" :pac:)

Loveinapril

I was terrified of my first poo- the last poo I had was a Monday, I was induced on Tuesday and had the baby on Thursday. A midwife gave me a Difene suppository for the episiotomy pain on the Friday but failed to tell me it would give me diarrhea. I had to hobble quickly to the loo while my parents were visiting us in hospital. My body has never been as confused as it was that day- simultaneously trying to poo and not poo! And the wiping, oh my goodness, the wiping

catrionanic

I was terrified of the first poo too from all the horror stories, but it was actually grand! And Holles St let me home regardless. Think I went on day 5 (but that wouldn't be unusual for me anyway).

Toots

Just a tip for anyone terrified of the first poo - they can give you a glycerine suppository, which will make you go. You'd want to be near a bathroom cos it's fast acting, but if you're worried about "pushing" you basically don't have to with these but you won't have the runs either.

shesty

Oh I hate it!!!I just drink litres and litres of water and orange until the bowels kick in to action by themseves....have to force myself not to push when going.Bowels can do it just fine themselves!But ugh, that and the stitches afterwards are two things I absolutely hate.

bee06

Loveinapril wrote: »

I was terrified of my first poo- the last poo I had was a Monday, I was induced on Tuesday and had the baby on Thursday. A midwife gave me a Difene suppository for the episiotomy pain on the Friday but failed to tell me it would give me diarrhea. I had to hobble quickly to the loo while my parents were visiting us in hospital. My body has never been as confused as it was that day- simultaneously trying to poo and not poo! And the wiping, oh my goodness, the wiping

Is that what happened me! I had the same including the parents visit! I was so confused because I was expecting the opposite.

Toots

I think difene tablets can make you very stopped up but any suppository will stimulate your bowels and make you need to go.

mojesius

I started getting crampy on the Friday. Freaked out and ran into hospital Turns out it was pre-labour pains and the doc said 'we'll probably see you over the weekend' and sent me home. Spent that night sitting up, totally awake, severely anxious as reality was kicking in that I was actually going to be a mother (I spent the entire pregnancy in a state of quiet disbelief until this point).

Saturday was no fun. I was pacing the floors with my dog following me around the house like he always does all day and night. Started getting mild to progressively worse contractions. Husband looked terrified

Sunday morning, I was down to 3-5 min contractions so we headed around lunchtime. Started getting the back labour pain in the car, felt like someone had attached a weight to my lower back and was wrenching it every few minutes. Just agony.

Arrived and went to delivery room. i asked straight away about pain relief and was given a hot water bottle. Threw it away after a few minutes and put on gas and air. Baby's heartbeat was irregular with every contraction so consultant came in and took over. Waters broke as she was examining me, I kept asking to go to the toilet and they wouldn't let me, breathing was all over the shop with the pain, everything went out the window. Next thing, my legs are being held up by my husband and midwife- despite us agreeing that he'd stay up near my face - as consulatant went 'in' to attach monitor to baby's head and prick head for blood test to check oxygen levels. Test failed so had to do it all over again - was thankful that I did squats/pilates etc beforehand to make me able to hold my legs in this inverted scissors position for so long.

There was a debate for some time over csection or not between doctors, I was screaming for an epidural and only 3cm gone at this stage but I was done. I was puking, sweating, screaming god knows what else. Got the epidural and it was like being in heaven. I slept for an hour to regain some energy. Then came the pushing, had her out in 30 minutes, but with bad tears. The cord was wrapped around her stomach which was causing the heartbeat issues. She was born without crying/much activity and people started running in, that was the only part of the entire labour when I was actually scared, but she was just a chilled baby!

Planning to do it all again soon, if we are lucky

Gatica

I love reading other people's birth stories. I think you gotta take it all with a positive attitude, OP. yes things can go wrong, but you and your baby are usually in safe hands with doctors and midwives, and at worst you may just not have the birth experience you want. You may very well be lucky and have an easy pregnancy and birth.

I thought I would love pregnancy but it was a really miserable time for me. I felt sick pretty much most of the time; and after the second trimester I got SPD. I was pretty limited in movement, although I was very active before that. It was painful to walk, turn, get into bed/car or turn in bed. I slept propped with like 4 pillows to help with the heartburn, and an extra one between the knees for the SPD. The birth was by comparison much easier.

I had fairly short labour and was fully dilated by the time we got into hospital. The contractions were intense, but I gotta say I've had worse pain. I think root canal was the worst pain, I'd also had a degenerating fibroid, and had awful stomach cramp after vomiting one time, where I thought my stomach was turning inside out inside me, it was horrible. Childbirth wasn't as bad, and you kinda get in the zone, where you go inside your head so the pain is manageable. Baby turned out to be breech so took a bit of pushing, but did it all on gas and air. I had an episiotomy for baby's safety, and tbh, was thanful for local anaesthetic so didn't feel anything. I took Difene for around 7 days. It was quite uncomfortable for a few weeks, but I never felt in huge pain from it.

The biggest shock is how your body muscles relax for the birth, I looked like a bull-dog, and my legs and bum felt like they all sagged. It was a bit freaky but it all goes back to normal within a couple of days. The SPD got gradually better but has never fully gone away, unfortunately. It's a low probability, but it seems I got the short straw there.

I don't think anyone prepares you for the recovery post-partum. I took strong iron tablets as my levels were a bit low, that made the constipation worse, so took 4 days to go. I was afraid to relax enough to do a poo as I thought my insides might fall out. I had a slight prolapse despite having been quite fit before. I attended physio at the hospital for both SPD and the prolapse. It all got somewhat better, but I think your body just never goes back to pre-streched mode. You kinda accept it as part and parcel of having a baby.
The breast-feeding I think was much more painful than the birth. I really wanted to breast-feed, so kept at it. It took 3-4 months to get to a good supply stage. The early weeks it just felt like my nipples had been grated and every time baby latched to feed was absolutely excruciating. I think that's probably the toughest thing, because once you're pregnant your baby gotta come out one way or another, but you can always give up on the breast-feeding if you want to. I absolutely understand why some mothers would choose not to go down that route. The Public Health Nurse was an absolute saver for me in that respect, as she fully supported me, whichever way we wanted to go.

cornflake1

Gatica wrote: »

The Public Health Nurse was an absolute saver for me in that respect, as she fully supported me, whichever way we wanted to go.

That's brilliant that you had such a supportive PHN. It is purely random. Had a terrible one on my first baby, who had me in tears and didn't care. Moved house since and have a lovely supportive one for my second baby

lazygal

Haven't had one PHN I'd think favourably of, and got some awful advice from them. I'm half thinking of opting out of the system when this baby makes an appearance.

firebird84

It seems to be a constant rotation of them out my way, I've never seen the same one twice. The first one who visited was absolutely awful, giving totally unhelpful and unrealistic advice on sleeping and feeding, but some of them have been lovely.

Cash_Q

lazygal wrote:

Haven't had one PHN I'd think favourably of, and got some awful advice from them. I'm half thinking of opting out of the system when this baby makes an appearance.

If you opt out of the system, what's the alternative? If you get an absolute wagon can you just tell her to get lost? Does PHN visit the house as well as checkups at the local health centre?

Gatica

ours visited the house until we went for the 9 month check-up at the clinic. I didn't know you could opt out, but I guess they can't push someone on you if it's your home.

lazygal

Cash_Q wrote: »

If you opt out of the system, what's the alternative? If you get an absolute wagon can you just tell her to get lost? Does PHN visit the house as well as checkups at the local health centre?

The alternative is just not having them recording weight and ticking the boxes for developmental checks. If I had had any concerns perhaps they would have been helpful. But I can safely say none of the advice I got was good, and in some cases contradicted what bodies like the WHO current best advice is.

Digs

Cash_Q wrote: »

If you opt out of the system, what's the alternative? If you get an absolute wagon can you just tell her to get lost? Does PHN visit the house as well as checkups at the local health centre?

I’ve had the same nurse for my two so far and she was excellent, totally saved my breastfeeding journey on my second. Also referred us for clicky hip X-ray, speech therapy, physio for a turn in on left foot, fontanelle not closing over (between the two kids!!) and I’m not sure how this stuff is handled if you refuse the PHN. I’m not sure how easily the GP can refer into these services.

I did have a check with an absolutely outdated battleaxe while my regular one was on maternity leave but I knew it was temporary, had it not been I would have had no problem asking to be moved (my health centre has a team of 3 nurses). It’s all well and good if you have no issues but we have found the PHN service a big help.