Do you enjoy life

Candyshell

Wibbs wrote: »

Not quite, but let's say I was, how in god's name would that would lead by any sort of logic into the idea that people should then hope for more suffering in the world, so they could be happier? No really, WT actual F?

Perspective. That's what I'm getting at. Having some. And in having some, being grateful for what one has rather than focusing all the time on what one doesn't have. Which is all too common. If some dirt poor bugger in [insert third world inequitous craphole here] can get on with life, then the paltry by comparison issues I have come into pretty strong perspective.

Perspective isn't going to mean you suddenly enjoy life. If someone just doesn't enjoy living life, perspective that other people have worse conditions is unlikely to suddenly allow them to begin enjoying life.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Candyshell wrote: »

Perspective isn't going to mean you suddenly enjoy life. If someone just doesn't enjoy living life, perspective that other people have worse conditions is unlikely to suddenly allow them to begin enjoying life.

On the perspective issue, almost certainly. But to translate that to actually hoping other people are more miserable is a twist too far in any logic.

Candyshell

notsoyoungwan wrote: »

Have to laugh at the “if you wouldn’t do it again it means you’re not enjoying it” train of thought. Maybe the reason I and others would not choose to be reincarnated is that we know what a good and contented life is, know how lucky we are to have that and we don’t want to risk coming back and having an awful life. Quit while you’re ahead etc.

Would you choose to live another life knowing you would be born in the first world and be perfectly healthy?

Wibbs

Candyshell wrote: »

I reckon this is how 40-50 percent of people feel, but they aren't honest about it or have never really admitted it to themselves.

I hear this kinda thing a lot and much more in the last ten fifteen years and I simply don't buy it. It's like those who confidently state everyone has some mental illness in their lives. Misery loves company and it seems it also wants to imagine more company than there is.

But for fun, let's imagine that this is true. That still leaves 60% who are quite happy in general. Better to emulate, or try to emulate them than the 40% who claim to be miserable.

How? For one, avoid consistently miserable people. They're a soul suck. Avoid too much external misery unconnected to you. Avoid the news for a while, sorta thing. With 24 hour rolling news ignorance can be bliss. I'd avoid much of social media with its edited for public view false fantastic lives on the one hand and those in a constant funk on the other.

judeboy101

If you enjoy life you're not doing it right.

Candyshell

Ronin Vast Platoon wrote: »

On the perspective issue, almost certainly. But to translate that to actually hoping other people are more miserable is a twist too far in any logic.

I'm just showing the flawed assumption that someone should be enjoying life when they realise others are worse off.

It reminds me of people asking those with depression "whats wrong, you have everything you need, a good job, family, home, money?". If you're depressed you're depressed, if you don't enjoy life you don't enjoy life.

Graces7

judeboy101 wrote: »

If you enjoy life you're not doing it right.

au contraire. If you do not find pleasure in life then you ARE definitely not doing it right,,,

Candyshell

Wibbs wrote: »

I hear this kinda thing a lot and much more in the last ten fifteen years and I simply don't buy it. It's like those who confidently state everyone has some mental illness in their lives. Misery loves company and it seems it also wants to imagine more company than there is.

But for fun, let's imagine that this is true. That still leaves 60% who are quite happy in general. Better to emulate, or try to emulate them than the 40% who claim to be miserable.

How? For one, avoid consistently miserable people. They're a soul suck. Avoid too much external misery unconnected to you. Avoid the news for a while, sorta thing. With 24 hour rolling news ignorance can be bliss. I'd avoid much of social media with its edited for public view false fantastic lives on the one hand and those in a constant funk on the other.

Look at the typical person, they are dead behind the eyes, the life is sucked out of them.

You're very focused on news ec and whats happening elsewhere in the world. What I'm asking is do you enjoy your life. Do you enjoy your typical day, week, month and year. Forget about news, do you enjoy what you actually do.

I think most a significant percentage don't enjoy their lives. Most people's waking hours is spent in work, how many people enjoy their time in work, how many people e.njoy their commute to and from work.

Shenshen

Candyshell wrote: »

Look at the typical person, they are dead behind the eyes, the life is sucked out of them.

You're very focused on news ec and whats happening elsewhere in the world. What I'm asking is do you enjoy your life. Do you enjoy your typical day, week, month and year. Forget about news, do you enjoy what you actually do.

"Do you enjoy life" and "Do you enjoy what you do" are two very, very different questions, though.
So far, people have mostly answered the first one only.

Candyshell

Shenshen wrote: »

"Do you enjoy life" and "Do you enjoy what you do" are two very, very different questions, though.
So far, people have mostly answered the first one only.

Enjoying life is enjoying your experience of it, which is made up of what you do.

The below elements comprise most people' lives.

-Eating
-Commuting
-Working
-Studying
-Socialising
-Hobbies
-Housework

If the pain is greater than the joy I would say a person does not enjoy life.

And if the joy truly is greater than the pain then I would say someone would want to live another life. If you say you wouldn't want to live another life that telss me the pain is greater than the joy so it's not worth the effort.

Wibbs

Candyshell wrote: »

I'm just showing the flawed assumption that someone should be enjoying life when they realise others are worse off.

It reminds me of people asking those with depression "whats wrong, you have everything you need, a good job, family, home, money?". If you're depressed you're depressed, if you don't enjoy life you don't enjoy life.

If someone is clinically diagnosed by a psychiatrist as depressedNot a "diagnosis" by Dr Google), they have a mental illness. By definition not a normal state. It it were normal functioning it wouldn't be an illness. A tad different to someone not enjoying life, though one could argue that's not exactly normal as a consistent worldview either.

What I have personally noticed with folks I've known who were diagnosed with unipolar depression, one of the first things that awful illness does is rob them of perspective. Sometimes near overnight. It also tends to make them overly self aware and inward looking in an unhealthy self destructive way. So it would seem logical that if someone doesn't have that illness to try and avoid those symptoms in general.

sbsquarepants

Wibbs wrote: »

I hear this kinda thing a lot and much more in the last ten fifteen years and I simply don't buy it. .

Me either.

If you think life is shít, you should ask yourself if it is better than the alternative. If it is (and I reckon 99% + of people would agree it is) - stop bellyaching and get on with it!

Wibbs wrote: »

How? For one, avoid consistently miserable people. They're a soul suck. Avoid too much external misery unconnected to you. Avoid the news for a while, sorta thing. With 24 hour rolling news ignorance can be bliss. I'd avoid much of social media with its edited for public view false fantastic lives on the one hand and those in a constant funk on the other.

As the saying goes - "before you self diagnose with depression or low self esteem, you should first check that your not just surrounded by assholes"

Candyshell

Candyshell wrote: »

Perspective isn't going to mean you suddenly enjoy life. If someone just doesn't enjoy living life, perspective that other people have worse conditions is unlikely to suddenly allow them to begin enjoying life.

Ronin Vast Platoon wrote: »

On the perspective issue, almost certainly.

Why? If you perceive your life to be negative, and others having worse lives, you're still dwelling on the negatives. You're encouraging a negative perception of your world.

Perception is everything. It one of the reasons that reframing is such a powerful tool for those seeking more optimistic and positive lives.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

judeboy101 wrote: »

If you enjoy life you're not doing it right.

It's the other way round. If you can't find enjoyment in all the love and beautiful around us then you are doing something wrong. Of course if you suffer depression, abuse or major health issues then life is a bitch but for the majority of us life is to be enjoyed and lived to the full.

Shenshen

Candyshell wrote: »

Enjoying life is enjoying your experience of it, which is made up of what you do.

The below elements comprise most people' lives.

-Eating
-Commuting
-Working
-Studying
-Socialising
-Hobbies
-Housework

If the pain is greater than the joy I would say a person does not enjoy life.

And if the joy truly is greater than the pain then I would say someone would want to live another life. If you say you wouldn't want to live another life that telss me the pain is greater than the joy so it's not worth the effort.

I don't know about you, but my life is made up of a whole lot more than just the things I do.
How would you even go about narrowing your experience of life down to only things you do?

Wibbs

Candyshell wrote: »

Look at the typical person, they are dead behind the eyes, the life is sucked out of them.

WTF Part Two, the sequel. When I look at the typical person it's bloody rare that I see people "dead behind the eyes". When I do my general thought are along the lines of "poor bastard, something in the mechanism is gone" and assume they've suffered a recent traumatic event, or have a mental illness. The typical person is not dead behind the eyes. Jesus.

You're very focused on news ec and whats happening elsewhere in the world. What I'm asking is do you enjoy your life. Do you enjoy your typical day, week, month and year. Forget about news, do you enjoy what you actually do.

Generally yeah. And it's not as if my life has been a bed of roses for the last few years. Nearly ten actually. It's been bloody tough at times and though that phase of my life came to an end early this year, I'm certainly not back on the horse yet. Still, it and I could be much much worse.

Candyshell

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Why? If you perceive your life to be negative, and others having worse lives, you're still dwelling on the negatives. You're encouraging a negative perception of your world.

Perception is everything. It one of the reasons that reframing is such a powerful tool for those seeking more optimistic and positive lives.

How enjoyable is it possible for a long commute to be by changing perspective? There is limited scope for perspective to change one's enjoyment of life.

Candyshell

Shenshen wrote: »

I don't know about you, but my life is made up of a whole lot more than just the things I do.
How would you even go about narrowing your experience of life down to only things you do?

That was by no means a comprehensive list, just an example of what activities make up people's time.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Candyshell wrote: »

Look at the typical person, they are dead behind the eyes, the life is sucked out of them.
.

Oh good God! Where are you seeing these people? You're hanging around with the wrong crowd. I can't remember the last time I met anybody remotely 'dead behind the eyes...'


Life isn't a bed of roses. Most of us have to work, feed and secure our families, and all that goes with family life but it doesn't stop us enjoying life or what we do in life.

Candyshell

Wibbs wrote: »

WTF Part Two, the sequel. When I look at the typical person it's bloody rare that I see people "dead behind the eyes". When I do my general thought are along the lines of "poor bastard, something in the mechanism is gone" and assume they've suffered a recent traumatic event, or have a mental illness. The typical person is not dead behind the eyes. Jesus.

Generally yeah. And it's not as if my life has been a bed of roses for the last few years. Nearly ten actually. It's been bloody tough at times and though that phase of my life came to an end early this year, I'm certainly not back on the horse yet. Still, it and I could be much much worse.

We'll have to agree to disagree, I'd see nearly a half of people don't particularly enjoy life.

Thankfully I love life, I'm on of the lucky ones.

Wibbs

Candyshell wrote: »

The below elements comprise most people' lives.

OK...

-Eating

Generally a very pleasant experience. Some live for good food.

-Commuting

Depends on the commute. Sitting in traffic for hours not so much fun, but the simple act of traveling can be relaxing and if you keep your eyes and ears open to other people, it can be fun too.

-Working

Depends on the work I suppose. Some love their jobs. Others may hate their jobs but like the social aspect. Getting paid is nice too.

-Studying

Learning new things. No downsides that I can see.

-Socialising

Brilliant. Hanging out with people shooting the breeze and relaxing.

-Hobbies

Enjoyable or you wouldn't do them.

-Housework

Can be a grind for some, but great when you're all finished and everything's all spic and span.

Wibbs

Candyshell wrote: »

We'll have to agree to disagree, I'd see nearly a half of people don't particularly enjoy life

Or far more likely you personally feel that way and confirmation bias and projection makes you see this in others. As I said misery loves company. I can't begin to imagine the purgatory of having that mindset.

Candyshell

Candyshell wrote: »

How enjoyable is it possible for a long commute to be by changing perspective? There is limited scope for perspective to change one's enjoyment of life.

My average commute to work last year was one hour in the morning (6 am) and (after 5pm) three hours returning (rush hour traffic). I used the time to read, relax, and to study. I couldn't change the fact that I needed to do the commute but I could choose how I spent them, and my feelings about the time spent.

A) I could see it as an opportunity to be productive with the time, or simply relax, when I couldn't do it at home (time spent with the GF or friends).
I could be angry over the loss of time, achieving nothing except furthering my frustrations.

Point being... you can choose to interpret your circumstances (within reason).

Shenshen

Candyshell wrote: »

That was by no means a comprehensive list, just an example of what activities make up people's time.

It doesn't matter how long ad detailed you make that list, there's far more to any individual's life than just what they do.

Roger Hassenforder

Candyshell wrote: »

Enjoying life is enjoying your experience of it, which is made up of what you do.

The below elements comprise most people' lives.

-Eating
-Commuting
-Working
-Studying
-Socialising
-Hobbies
-Housework

.

Where does listening to a bird singing go?
Or watching a bee on a flower?
Or listening to a child laugh?
Or watching a basterd of a cat stretching in the sun?
Or the sound of your phone not ringing?
A smile from a stranger?

Life is a struggle. It's supposed to be.
It's not easy, but it's worth the effort.

judeboy101

Graces7 wrote: »

judeboy101 wrote: »

If you enjoy life you're not doing it right.

au contraire. If you do not find pleasure in life then you ARE definitely not doing it right,,,

Do you think a parasitic amoeba finds pleasure, or piece or coral? Pleasure is an anthropomorphical expression and means nothing outside of a narrow human reference frame.

Graces7

judeboy101 wrote: »

Do you think a parasitic amoeba finds pleasure, or piece or coral? Pleasure is an anthropomorphical expression and means nothing outside of a narrow human reference frame.

:rolleyes:

Wibbs

judeboy101 wrote: »

Do you think a parasitic amoeba finds pleasure, or piece or coral? Pleasure is an anthropomorphical expression and means nothing outside of a narrow human reference frame.

Jaysus the downer crowd are out in force today...

So what if a coral doesn't feel pleasure, we're human and we do.

Candyshell

Wibbs wrote: »

OK...

Generally a very pleasant experience. Some live for good food.
Depends on the commute. Sitting in traffic for hours not so much fun, but the simple act of traveling can be relaxing and if you keep your eyes and ears open to other people, it can be fun too.
Depends on the work I suppose. Some love their jobs. Others may hate their jobs but like the social aspect. Getting paid is nice too.
Learning new things. No downsides that I can see.
Brilliant. Hanging out with people shooting the breeze and relaxing.
Enjoyable or you wouldn't do them.
Can be a grind for some, but great when you're all finished and everything's all spic and span.

I personally like most of those things listed, even my commute as I watch videos with the headphones on or learn languagea with duolingo. But for quite a lot of people they don't like these things.

Dial Hard

Yep, I enjoy life. Does it have its ups and downs? Of course. But there are far more ups (and even keels) than there are downs. I had a bit of a speed wobble last week when my ex-husband remarried, but you know what? Nobody died. As others have said, perspective is everything.

I have an amazing family.
I have great friends.
I have a job that pays very averagely but which I enjoy and believe me, I know the value of that.
I live in a nice house in a nice area and while I don't own it I'm lucky enough not to have to share it with strangers.
I have a dog who worships the ground I walk on.
I'm fit and healthy and (relatively) young.
I have a car I can jump into any time I feel like going somewhere.
I'm far from well off but I can afford the food I want to eat, the books I want to read, the odd night out if I fancy one. It took a bit of scrimping but I went on an amazing holiday to Florida & Cancun with my extended family this year.

All in all, I'm very happy with my lot and know how lucky I am in the grand scheme of things. Sure, I'd like to be having more (any) sex and if my boss offered me an extra ten grand a year, I wouldn't turn it down, but realistically, I have very little to be complaining about.

Would I do it again if I was offered the choice? I don't think anyone can definitively answer what is by definition an abstract question, but I don't think so. I think it's the very fleetingness of life that makes it so precious. This is the only chance any of us are ever getting.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

judeboy101 wrote: »

Do you think a parasitic amoeba finds pleasure, or piece or coral? Pleasure is an anthropomorphical expression and means nothing outside of a narrow human reference frame.

What other reference frame should we consider? That's absolute twaddle.

Candyshell

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

Where does listening to a bird singing go?
Or watching a bee on a flower?
Or listening to a child laugh?
Or watching a basterd of a cat stretching in the sun?
Or the sound of your phone not ringing?
A smile from a stranger?

Life is a struggle. It's supposed to be.
It's not easy, but it's worth the effort.

Some people think it's worth it, some don't. I think people who wouldn't live life again don't really think it's worth it.

JohnnyFlash

Ah ya, of course I do. Life circumstances can impact your enjoyment. I was married to an evil land whale for almost 20 years. A real happiness vampire.

So walked out on her, and life is fantastic again. New found enthusiasm for stuff. I’m a simple guy with simple tastes, so that’s a game of golf, a good feed of pints, a meal out, having a good ride the odd time with some enthusiastic bird.

Cee-Jay-Cee

I’m happy with my life, I wouldn’t change anything in it but don’t think I’d want to live it again. I believe in some form of afterlife and I hope there is something good for everyone when we die and it’s not just nothingness. I’ve had my fair share of **** and sadness worry and hurt but overall it’s been very good, I’m neither rich nor poor, I have two beautiful children and a perfect wife. As long as the rest of my life is healthy and happy then I don’t want anything else. I know there are many many not as lucky as me and I’m thankful for my lot so far.

valoren

I don't want to see a ghost,
It's a sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news
Life, oh life, oh life, oh life,
Doo, doot doot dooo.

Prominent_Dawg

I’m content.. I have my family, they have their health, as do I.. I like to think I will be as long as I’m lucky enough to have that!

Pac1Man

Death fears Pac1Man.

Candyshell

Candyshell wrote: »

Some people think it's worth it, some don't. I think people who wouldn't live life again don't really think it's worth it.

Would you be the same person if you did it again?

I like who I am now. I didn't like who I was in my 20s. Comfortable with my 30s, and loving my 40s. So, if I was to do it all again, would I choose to live the same way, and would my perception of what happens remain the same? I doubt it.

Even if I did everything exactly the same, the world has changed, so it's likely I wouldn't turn out the same as I am now. Could be better, I suppose... but I'm happy with who I am now...

So, no, I wouldn't want to do it all again. I've probably got another 30-40 years to enjoy, and then whatever comes after. That's good enough for me.

Candyshell

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Would you be the same person if you did it again?

I like who I am now. I didn't like who I was in my 20s. Comfortable with my 30s, and loving my 40s. So, if I was to do it all again, would I choose to live the same way, and would my perception of what happens remain the same? I doubt it.

Even if I did everything exactly the same, the world has changed, so it's likely I wouldn't turn out the same as I am now. Could be better, I suppose... but I'm happy with who I am now...

So, no, I wouldn't want to do it all again. I've probably got another 30-40 years to enjoy, and then whatever comes after. That's good enough for me.

If I were to live my life again I'd make different choices, out of curiosity of live a different life, choose a different career, education. Likely not hugely different as I still have my innate aptitudes and inclinations.

Sleepy

My favourite lyric probably tells you a lot about me (18 year old Sleepy used to assert he could tell you all about someone from half an hour of perusing their CD collection):

"I'm not living. I'm just killing time."

One eyed Jack

Candyshell wrote: »

If I were to live my life again I'd make different choices, out of curiosity of live a different life, choose a different career, education. Likely not hugely different as I still have my innate aptitudes and inclinations.

How would you as a child for example in your subsequent life, be aware of the circumstances of your previous life that you could possibly avoid them in the hope of leading what you imagine would be a life you would better appreciate?

As for the opening question itself, I’m happy with my life right now and I’m happy with the direction I’m going. I wasn’t happy with the direction it was taking before, so I changed course.

I don’t have any desire to do a repeat performance, I’m rather enjoying my life as it is now, and hope I can maintain the direction I’m going which will lead to me enjoying life even more if everything goes according to plan. Part of the reason why I enjoy and appreciate the life I have even more now is because it didn’t always go according to how I’d planned, which made things difficult to get back on track.

freshpopcorn

Yes I enjoy life. I've the odd bad day every so often and sometimes it might not even last a day.
Boards actually helped me in a way to not be as up tight about things.

Sleepy

Sleepy wrote: »

My favourite lyric probably tells you a lot about me (18 year old Sleepy used to assert he could tell you all about someone from half an hour of perusing their CD collection):

"I'm not living. I'm just killing time."

And true love waits, in haunted attics

Candyshell

One eyed Jack wrote: »

How would you as a child for example in your subsequent life, be aware of the circumstances of your previous life that you could possibly avoid them in the hope of leading what you imagine would be a life you would better appreciate?

As for the opening question itself, I’m happy with my life right now and I’m happy with the direction I’m going. I wasn’t happy with the direction it was taking before, so I changed course.

I don’t have any desire to do a repeat performance, I’m rather enjoying my life as it is now, and hope I can maintain the direction I’m going which will lead to me enjoying life even more if everything goes according to plan. Part of the reason why I enjoy and appreciate the life I have even more now is because it didn’t always go according to how I’d planned, which made things difficult to get back on track.

Well this is largely a hypotheical question obviously, so let's just say you remember the general gist of your previous life.

ancapailldorcha

I feel pretty fortunate to have the things I have access to and to have my basic needs met. Not sure what I'm supposed to do beyond that though.

Candyshell

The below video chimes very much with my outlook. Nothing will really matter ultimately, so the world is your playground, have fun.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrkmPZ59cLA

Pretzeluck

notsoyoungwan wrote: »

Yeah, I enjoy life. I’ve a good quality of life, made easier by a steady and decent income. I’m in good health and have wonderful friends, along with some of my family who are great, others not so much! There are of course stresses and troubles but they’re outweighed by the positives thus far anyway. That could all change in a heartbeat, I’m well aware of that.

Having said all that, I don’t want to be reincarnated. Once is enough. I have no fear of death. I’m not religious and I believe all that awaits is a nothingness, which holds no fear for me.

Sorry but saying that you do not fear death sounds dishonest therefore I have dismissed the rest of your post. Everyone is afraid of death at one point or other.

notsoyoungwan

Candyshell wrote: »

Would you choose to live another life knowing you would be born in the first world and be perfectly healthy?

No. There’s more to being happy and content than being healthy and born in the first world. Those two things are not a guarantee of happiness or a good life.

Candyshell

notsoyoungwan wrote: »

No. There’s more to being happy and content than being healthy and born in the first world. Those two things are not a guarantee of happiness or a good life.

I never said there wasn't more to life, in fact the very question I'm asking is whether life would be worth it assuming those conditions.

Pretzeluck

Pretzeluck wrote: »

Sorry but saying that you do not fear death sounds dishonest therefore I have dismissed the rest of your post. Everyone is afraid of death at one point or other.

Actually, no. You might fear death but for many of us there is no fear involved.

I'm not afraid of death. I'm afraid of surviving an accident and having to live with the injuries. I'm afraid of being incapacitated. I'm also afraid of extensive pain. But death? What is there to be afraid of? Especially, if like me, you consider death to be the beginning of another experience/journey (I'm not religious but I do believe in energy states)

You really should talk to people who either seriously considered suicide, or those who attempted suicide but "failed" (or were interrupted) before making such a sweeping statement about everyone being afraid of death. There comes a time when you face death and either come away without fearing it further, or you become even more fearful... and I've since been in a variety of very dangerous situations (since my youthful stupidity regarding suicide), and it wasn't death I was afraid of.