9yr old boy kills himself due to anti-gay bullying

PlaneSpeeking

Dole Scrounging Vegan Crossfitter wrote: »

I fancied the pants off Belinda Carlisle when I was 5

Yeah I knew I was straight about 11 as I fancied Simon le Bon (and still do lol!!)

Surely if I fancied Madonna instead I would have known I was gay ? And this was the early 80s - I imagine kids know about life much earlier.

Neyite

challengemaster wrote: »

Perhaps instead of telling kids not to "make themselves a target", we should stop the bullying instead?

Same sort of victim blaming nonsense with rape and people "making themselves a target".

I agree with a lot of what you say. But having said that, when a child realises that they are different from their peers, it's down to the parents to equip them with the life skills they will need to navigate the issues that may arise from their difference. Or at least make him aware that not everyone is as accepting of them being gay as his family are and what to do when he encounters homophobia - such as tell your parents, your teacher or whatever.

Billy86

There are some very naive attitudes about kids in here - in my work I see instances of kids self harming and attempting suicide pretty regularly. A lot are early teens, but there are numerous pre-pubescent ones and I think the youngest I have seen was years of age (unsuccessful, thankfully). Self-harming is also quite common, down as young as about 7 years of age from what I have seen.

A kid in the year below me also hung himself at 11 years of age in back 2000, when the internet was far from widespread in Ireland and had social media was yet to come about. Social media does add to it a lot, and especially as it often 'traps' kids in the sense that moving school/home doesn't give them as much of a chance to start afresh as it used to, but it's far from the only cause.

It's an awful thing to think about, so I figure there's an element of people putting a subconscious mental block on the fact that many children have and do self harm and attempt to commit suicide, and unfortunately they sometimes succeed at it.

aroundthehouse

Dole Scrounging Vegan Crossfitter wrote: »

I fancied the pants off Belinda Carlisle when I was 5

Oh Danni Behr

Malayalam

challengemaster wrote: »

Some adults, sure. Teachers are well known to turn a blind eye. Be it favouritism, relatives, not caring or knowing that the parents of the bully don't actually care enough to do anything so they don't intervene. Schools (at least in Ireland) won't expel for almost any reason. The education dept. can be one massive facilitator of bullying as it stands.

Parents usually don't know because the kid hides it from them, or if they do know there's not a lot they can do. Again, the only action open to parents usually is to confront the other childs parents. If the bullies parents don't care, there's not a lot else that can happen. Gardaí don't care because of age, there is no other place to turn to or nothing else you can do about it.

You can say the adults in these kids lives aren't doing their job, in most cases they've already exhausted every option but the way things stand there's virtually no punishment or repercussions for a bully through any avenue.

This is true. I spent time trying to stop my child being bullied. I confronted wall-eyed parents whose children had physically assaulted my child and watched them chaw gum or shrug and deny it point blank, even though it was recorded. The teachers threw up their hands time and again. Cliques and communities closed in. It was ugly. It taught me a lot about the duplicity and smallness of apparently ordinary people. The only solution was home schooling. Many years later the head master approached me, told me that the bullying had immediately transferred to others after my child left and that some of those kids were in rags needing psychological help; he publicly asked in front of a group of villagers for my forgiveness for having utterly failed my child. My advise to parents whose children are bullied is get them the hell out of the place - your first and only loyalty is to your child. My real-time coal-face experience tells me that these school bullying 'protocols' are next to useless.

Bacchus

challengemaster wrote: »

Perhaps instead of telling kids not to "make themselves a target", we should stop the bullying instead?

Same sort of victim blaming nonsense with rape and people "making themselves a target".

I agree with your point that we shouldn't be teaching kids to "keep the head low", and "don't be a target" as if there's some shame attached to, for example, being gay and wearing fake nails. I get intention of the parent, they don't want their child to be a victim of bullying but maybe the language has to change a bit to avoid "victim blaming".... I don't know the answer to that btw because...

... kids can be cruel and bullying will happen. Your suggestion to simply "stop bullying" is simplistic and ignores the fact that it is a part of growing up. Children are constantly testing their boundaries and finding their place in the hierarchy. Certainly bullying, and in particular cyber-bullying, can be tackled, and extreme cases of bullying (such as telling another child to kill themselves) should be met with punitive and educational action, but bullying isn't simply going to stop in childhood. I don't think it ever will no matter how "Big Brother" we get on the situation.

I think the best thing is to teach your child to be comfortable and proud of who they are, and teach them that everyone is different and sometimes people use those differences as a way to be mean to others. If you can instill a confidence in your child so they are comfortable in their own skin, that will go a long way to help them 1) not bully, and 2) rise above those that do. You can't wrap them up in cotton wool (as much as I'd like) to. When they go out into the world, they are going to be hurt. You just have to hope you gave them the tools to cope with it and then be there for them if they are upset.

Bacchus

Malayalam wrote: »

This is true. I spent time trying to stop my child being bullied. I confronted wall-eyed parents whose children had physically assaulted my child and watched them chaw gum or shrug and deny it point blank, even though it was recorded. The teachers threw up their hands time and again. Cliques and communities closed in. It was ugly. It taught me a lot about the duplicity and smallness of apparently ordinary people. The only solution was home schooling. Many years later the head master approached me, told me that the bullying had immediately transferred to others after my child left and that some of those kids were in rags needing psychological help; he publicly asked in front of a group of villagers for my forgiveness for having utterly failed my child. My advise to parents whose children are bullied is get them the hell out of the place - your first and only loyalty is to your child. My real-time coal-face experience tells me that these school bullying 'protocols' are next to useless.

That's awful. For some reason I find physical bullying to be worse. I think I'll be able to mentally prepare my children (well the one so far) to deal with name calling and the likes, but to be physically assaulted is barbaric.

aroundthehouse

Bacchus wrote: »

That's awful. For some reason I find physical bullying to be worse. I think I'll be able to mentally prepare my children (well the one so far) to deal with name calling and the likes, but to be physically assaulted is barbaric.

The mental abuse is far worse imo, people can take a beating and the wounds heal but its a lot more difficult to recover from mental abuse

Malayalam

Bacchus wrote: »

That's awful. For some reason I find physical bullying to be worse. I think I'll be able to mentally prepare my children (well the one so far) to deal with name calling and the likes, but to be physically assaulted is barbaric.

I think there's a lot of stuff we don't know about that is going on in the wilderness of childhood. All these bright shiny protocols and policies we have are so much surface dressing. I know of a boy's boarding school where children from 12 were having sex with each other as night time dorm games, out of loneliness and no doubt out of bullying. I think it is one of the most dangerous times of life in fact - at least as we get older we have some choice about where we go or how we have to be.

Deusexmachina

Deleted User wrote: »

I think many of you are forgetting what it's like as a young child when being "gay" is more of an unfocused insult. It applies to everything. It's not simply a sexual remark but an insult that comes across for every aspect of living. It's one of those things that boys experience that women are not going to understand. And it's likely something every boy experiences at one stage or another with different results.

The problem here is three fold.

First, is the access to the internet. That medium is uncensored and feeds off the weak, or the ignorant(in terms of knowledge). For every nice or supporting website, there are dozens which are mean spirited or designed to promote rather dubious allegations. Kids nowadays have full access to the internet. Parents provide phones, and wifi is common. There is little to no observation about what the kids are looking at. I've seen the same with my nieces when they were of a similar age. Instagram, facebook, and a host of other apps with little regard for the ages/maturity of those viewing them. There is also the aspect of being able to search for suicide techniques, or even to be convinced that suicide is even an option.

Then, there's Social Media. I think we can all agree just how "toxic" SM is. But kids don't have the filter yet, that tells them that this is BS and that is "reasonable". The level of citicism that is involved in SM, along with identity politics is just disgusting.

Lastly, the changes in our society about sexuality, gender, etc. As some have said earlier, the gender debate might be a factor, although I personally doubt it. However, this rush to make everything sexual acceptable is extremely short-sighted with often conflicting opinions about what should happen. Again, as adults, we have the filter to weed out the retarded opinions, and our life experience prepares us to resist many of the oddball comments, but children don't have that defense.

We, as a society, really need to be putting more importance on the time children spend as... children. To not provide them with a medium like the internet which is aimed at adults, but giving children free access. It's like handing a kid fire, telling them (not explaining) to not burn anything, and then leaving them alone to have tea with your friends for a few hours.

As for sexuality or being aware of being gay at 9 years old, I'm calling BS. You might be aware that you "like" boys but there's nothing sexual for the vast majority. Your balls haven't dropped, you likely haven't any real experience and the only real influence is external. That you're being made to believe your attraction by others, and by the media (internet included) who seem to believe everyone should choose as early as possible.

Now, no doubt, many posters here will get emotional and accuse me (and others) of being insensitive about the situation. However, I would suggest we would be better off discussing how we can protect children in the future, rather than thumping out chests in objections.

When something like this happens, we should be stepping forward to acknowledge that our society is not perfect, that all these social changes have been rather short-sighted, and that we should be considering how to minimize the risks to those vulnerable.

Absolutely spot on. The poor little boy. What on Earth influenced him to declare he was 'proud to be gay'?
At 9 years of age, all he should have been thinking about is running about, climbing trees, cycling his bike, playing football, watching cartoons and playing with his toys.
What have we become?
Lets not blame the technology. It is something more than that.
It is the current focus on sexuality, gender and race to the detriment of other equally important and maybe even more important issues - the loss of innocence in childhood, the absence of fathers, family breakdown, pornography, cynicism, a lack of a moral foundation or structure in society and in schools and homes.
I don't know how his parents will be able to survive this. I know I couldn't.

Deusexmachina

Deusexmachina wrote: »

Absolutely spot on. The poor little boy. What on Earth influenced him to declare he was 'proud to be gay'?
At 9 years of age, all he should have been thinking about is running about, climbing trees, cycling his bike, playing football, watching cartoons and playing with his toys.
What have we become?
Lets not blame the technology. It is something more than that.
It is the current focus on sexuality, gender and race to the detriment of other equally important and maybe even more important issues - the loss of innocence in childhood, the absence of fathers, family breakdown, pornography, cynicism, a lack of a moral foundation or structure in society and in schools and homes.
I don't know how his parents will be able to survive this. I know I couldn't.

Society and technology are linked. Can't separate them anymore. And I wouldn't "blame" technology. I'd blame society for making the internet into what it is today. We're all responsible for that. Just as we're all responsible for how parenting has been passed off on to teachers, officials, or surrogate ipads.

And no... before someone jumps in suggesting I'm blaming the parents for the childs death, I'm not. I'm simply saying that we, as a society, really need to re-examine our priorities when it comes to children, and the raising of children.

iguana

Malayalam wrote: »

This is true. I spent time trying to stop my child being bullied. I confronted wall-eyed parents whose children had physically assaulted my child and watched them chaw gum or shrug and deny it point blank, even though it was recorded. The teachers threw up their hands time and again. Cliques and communities closed in. It was ugly. It taught me a lot about the duplicity and smallness of apparently ordinary people. The only solution was home schooling.

You know what. I'm sure you don't need someone else's validation but I couldn't read this without taking time to say what a bloody great thing you did for your kid. Whatever negative effects your child has experienced from the bullying you stepped in and really showed them just how much they could rely on you. The value of that to your child then and for the rest of your lives is just utterly priceless. That knowledge that you are there for them and will stand by them and protect however you can is such a powerful thing for them to carry with them.

aroundthehouse

Deusexmachina wrote: »

Absolutely spot on. The poor little boy. What on Earth influenced him to declare he was 'proud to be gay'?
At 9 years of age, all he should have been thinking about is running about, climbing trees, cycling his bike, playing football, watching cartoons and playing with his toys.
What have we become?
Lets not blame the technology. It is something more than that.
It is the current focus on sexuality, gender and race to the detriment of other equally important and maybe even more important issues - the loss of innocence in childhood, the absence of fathers, family breakdown, pornography, cynicism, a lack of a moral foundation or structure in society and in schools and homes.
I don't know how his parents will be able to survive this. I know I couldn't.

sadly you are 100% right, boys of 9 shouldnt even contemplate their sexuality or suicide, the biggest problem this kid should have had was getting caught not doing his homework or not being able to climb the big tree in the garden, and i think your are completely right in that there is a massive breakdown in the moral foundation in our society, the focus is all on being PC, gay rights, sexuality etc, we live in a world now where these things are more important than the nurturing of kids, its all going the wrong way and sadly this kid is a victim of it

zom

aroundthehouse wrote: »

its also illegal

For 9 year old ??

Malayalam

iguana wrote: »

You know what. I'm sure you don't need someone else's validation but I couldn't read this without taking time to say what a bloody great thing you did for your kid. Whatever negative effects your child has experienced from the bullying you stepped in and really showed them just how much they could rely on you. The value of that to your child then and for the rest of your lives is just utterly priceless. That knowledge that you are there for them and will stand by them and protect however you can is such a powerful thing for them to carry with them.

Thanks You made me cry. They tell me regularly how much it meant to them. I was a fierce lioness back in those days..haha.
Thank you.

Bacchus

aroundthehouse wrote: »

The mental abuse is far worse imo, people can take a beating and the wounds heal but its a lot more difficult to recover from mental abuse

I do agree with you there... I am conflicted about which is worse... I just feel I can prepare my child to be confident in themselves to rise above whatever mental bullying is thrown at them. In my view, for bullies, its the reaction they are after and I'm sure many don't understand the potential physiological harm they are doing. On the other hand with physical bullying, wounds heal for sure but taking a physical beating is very upsetting mentally too. Physically attacking someone is more hate filled and violent to me... and has the potential for immediate medical consequences.

meeeeh

Do we actually know the 9 years old killed himself because of bullying?

Btw I don't know where the fake nails thing came from and if it's true but mine are not going to be allowed any make up, earrings, fake nails and similar until they are teens and frankly as late as possible. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation but kids should first be kids and learn to accept themselves as they are. Technology is influential but there is also parental responsibility of what you let your child do, watch, play, browse, how much and where.

Luxxis

Deusexmachina wrote: »

Absolutely spot on. The poor little boy. What on Earth influenced him to declare he was 'proud to be gay'?
At 9 years of age, all he should have been thinking about is running about, climbing trees, cycling his bike, playing football, watching cartoons and playing with his toys.
What have we become?
Lets not blame the technology. It is something more than that.
It is the current focus on sexuality, gender and race to the detriment of other equally important and maybe even more important issues - the loss of innocence in childhood, the absence of fathers, family breakdown, pornography, cynicism, a lack of a moral foundation or structure in society and in schools and homes.
I don't know how his parents will be able to survive this. I know I couldn't.

Here is the mother, i'll leave it there.

https://i1.wp.com/www.denverpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/jamel-myles-leia-pierce.jpg?fit=620%2C9999px&ssl=1

Bacchus

Luxxis wrote: »

Here is the mother, i'll leave it there.

https://i1.wp.com/www.denverpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/jamel-myles-leia-pierce.jpg?fit=620%2C9999px&ssl=1

What exactly are you implying here? Are you saying the pink highlights in her hair did it?

aroundthehouse

Luxxis wrote: »

Here is the mother, i'll leave it there.

https://i1.wp.com/www.denverpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/jamel-myles-leia-pierce.jpg?fit=620%2C9999px&ssl=1

indeed

Malayalam

Bacchus wrote: »

What exactly are you implying here? Are you saying the pink highlights in her hair did it?

It's a kind of oblique reference to what the mam might be like as a person, don't know if it's really relevant. Kind of makes one embarrassed to think anything. I would say the teeshirt is more indicative that the hair myself. But anyways the oblique point about the mam's personality might hold some water - having seen quite a number of children now grown from when I knew them as adorable wee babies to young adults in their 20s today, I can safely say that parents affect their children very significantly. How much they are loved. How much they are bullied at home by dominating parents. How well they are fed. How much utter shyte and guff is spouted across the kitchen table by loud opinionated parents. How much the parents drink or take drugs. How much the parents put themselves first. How affected by ideology the parents are. How lazy and selfish the parents are. Across the spectrum from my albeit personal observations of very many childhoods to adulthoods, and given that about half were from various so-called ''alternative'' backgrounds, what parents do and say and think while raising their children affects their children profoundly.

That may or may not be relevant in this case. No idea.

Bacchus

Malayalam wrote: »

It's a kind of oblique reference to what the mam might be like as a person, don't know if it's really relevant.

Which would be my point, was it relevant to post her picture without comment like that. I mean, the answer to the original question (that the picture was in response to) isn't too difficult. It would seem (obviously can't know for sure) that the boy was allowed to express himself freely, hence he felt comfortable "being proud to be gay". I can imagine that he was told to be proud of who he was and, given the prominence of that slogan, he arrived at "proud to be gay". So, I find it odd that a picture of the mom is somehow "telling" as if it's a "well what do you expect when this is the mom" statement. There's not even anything controversial in that picture. That's my interpretation of why the poster posted her image, he/she can correct me if I got the wrong end of the stick.

Grey Wind

Luxxis wrote: »

Here is the mother, i'll leave it there.

https://i1.wp.com/www.denverpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/jamel-myles-leia-pierce.jpg?fit=620%2C9999px&ssl=1

A child literally died, now is not the time to take shots at his mother because of her ****ing hair colour.

Jesus Christ.

Your Face

Luxxis wrote: »

Here is the mother, i'll leave it there.

https://i1.wp.com/www.denverpost.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/jamel-myles-leia-pierce.jpg?fit=620%2C9999px&ssl=1

Sounds like a similar mindset the bullies in question would have.

riffmongous

Deusexmachina wrote: »

Absolutely spot on. The poor little boy. What on Earth influenced him to declare he was 'proud to be gay'?
At 9 years of age, all he should have been thinking about is running about, climbing trees, cycling his bike, playing football, watching cartoons and playing with his toys.
What have we become?
Lets not blame the technology. It is something more than that.
It is the current focus on sexuality, gender and race to the detriment of other equally important and maybe even more important issues - the loss of innocence in childhood, the absence of fathers, family breakdown, pornography, cynicism, a lack of a moral foundation or structure in society and in schools and homes.
I don't know how his parents will be able to survive this. I know I couldn't.

Not quite sure how to phrase this, but don't you realise what you say in your post is exactly the reasons kids like that get bullied? Why wasnt he out doing all this boyish stuff, playing football and riding his bike, not every young boy is into that

aroundthehouse

Grey Wind wrote: »

A child literally died, now is not the time to take shots at his mother because of her ****ing hair colour.

Jesus Christ.

Its a difficult situation to look at but in fairness to the original poster, i think its a parents job to fit in for the sake of their kids and not make them a target for potential abuse, personally speaking, if that was my mother and she turned up at the school gate looking like that i would be highly embarrassed, i think that when people become parents they have a duty to discard their own uniqueness shall we say, and make sure that they make life as easy as possible for their kids. i'm not saying that this poor kid killed himself because of how his mother looked, but the mother clearly made efforts to non conform and potentially that may have had ramifications for the child

PlaneSpeeking

aroundthehouse wrote: »

Its a difficult situation to look at but in fairness to the original poster, i think its a parents job to fit in for the sake of their kids and not make them a target for potential abuse, personally speaking, if that was my mother and she turned up at the school gate looking like that i would be highly embarrassed, i think that when people become parents they have a duty to discard their own uniqueness shall we say, and make sure that they make life as easy as possible for their kids. i'm not saying that this poor kid killed himself because of how his mother looked, but the mother clearly made efforts to non conform and potentially that may have had ramifications for the child

My sainted mother was overweight - so that means that because she wasn't a supermodel the scum at the school gate were JUSTIFIED ??

Out of this swamp of a thread now, making excuse for bullies ffs.

Sick.

WinnyThePoo

aroundthehouse wrote: »

Its a difficult situation to look at but in fairness to the original poster, i think its a parents job to fit in for the sake of their kids and not make them a target for potential abuse, personally speaking, if that was my mother and she turned up at the school gate looking like that i would be highly embarrassed, i think that when people become parents they have a duty to discard their own uniqueness shall we say, and make sure that they make life as easy as possible for their kids. i'm not saying that this poor kid killed himself because of how his mother looked, but the mother clearly made efforts to non conform and potentially that may have had ramifications for the child

You know absolutely nothing about the mother.

The colour of her hair is absolutely irrelevant.

meeeeh

aroundthehouse wrote: »

Grey Wind wrote: »

A child literally died, now is not the time to take shots at his mother because of her ****ing hair colour.

Jesus Christ.

Its a difficult situation to look at but in fairness to the original poster, i think its a parents job to fit in for the sake of their kids and not make them a target for potential abuse, personally speaking, if that was my mother and she turned up at the school gate looking like that i would be highly embarrassed, i think that when people become parents they have a duty to discard their own uniqueness shall we say, and make sure that they make life as easy as possible for their kids. i'm not saying that this poor kid killed himself because of how his mother looked, but the mother clearly made efforts to non conform and potentially that may have had ramifications for the child

That's complete nonsense.

Deusexmachina

riffmongous wrote: »

Not quite sure how to phrase this, but don't you realise what you say in your post is exactly the reasons kids like that get bullied? Why wasnt he out doing all this boyish stuff, playing football and riding his bike, not every young boy is into that

Oh for God's sake!
You have a problem with 'boyish stuff' like riding his bike or playing football??? -What should he have been doing? Maybe some 'gender neutral activities' perhaps? (Under careful scrutiny in case he accidently veres toward the masculine)
You have just proved my point.
Get a life.

aroundthehouse

PlaneSpeeking wrote: »

My sainted mother was overweight - so that means that because she wasn't a supermodel the scum at the school gate were JUSTIFIED ??

Out of this swamp of a thread now, making excuse for bullies ffs.

Sick.

no because being overweight wasnt your mother trying to stand out, its just the way she was, whereas the mother of the poor boy chose to have pink hair, i'm not saying this is why he unfortunately ended his life, i'm just saying it potentially may give a clue as to the boys upbringing which may or may not have contributed to the horrible situation he found himself in

meeeeh

WinnyThePoo wrote: »

aroundthehouse wrote: »

Its a difficult situation to look at but in fairness to the original poster, i think its a parents job to fit in for the sake of their kids and not make them a target for potential abuse, personally speaking, if that was my mother and she turned up at the school gate looking like that i would be highly embarrassed, i think that when people become parents they have a duty to discard their own uniqueness shall we say, and make sure that they make life as easy as possible for their kids. i'm not saying that this poor kid killed himself because of how his mother looked, but the mother clearly made efforts to non conform and potentially that may have had ramifications for the child

You know absolutely nothing about the mother.

The colour of her hair is absolutely irrelevant.

I agree. But at the same time we also don't know anything about supposed bullies. I think this thread us full of conclusions and projections we have because there is feck all information about the case.

The only solid bit of info is that 9 years old committed suicide. His mother claims it was because of bullying. I think the other kids should be afforded the same courtesy as his mother before they are held responsible for the death of their schoolmate.

aroundthehouse

Deusexmachina wrote: »

Oh for God's sake!
You have a problem with 'boyish stuff' like riding his bike or playing football??? -What should he have been doing? Maybe some 'gender neutral activities' perhaps? (Under careful scrutiny in case he accidently veres toward the masculine)
You have just proved my point.
Get a life.

here here well said, why cant people just accept how we should be not what we think we should be

Deusexmachina

Deusexmachina wrote: »

Oh for God's sake!
You have a problem with 'boyish stuff' like riding his bike or playing football???.

No, but he may have. and perhaps the bullies had the same scoffing attitude about 'gender neutral activities' like you did. which is the whole point.
if a boy is not into football and climbing trees it doesn't mean there is something wrong with them

Shocking sad story overall.

riffmongous

Deusexmachina wrote: »

Oh for God's sake!
You have a problem with 'boyish stuff' like riding his bike or playing football??? -What should he have been doing? Maybe some 'gender neutral activities' perhaps? (Under careful scrutiny in case he accidently veres toward the masculine)
You have just proved my point.
Get a life.

You think every single young boy wants to be doing this stuff? I remember back in school there'd be one boy per year who'd rather play with the girls and girls toys, and got bullied for it, and this was back early nineties.

You talk about proving points but ironically you're the only one here pushing an agenda of how kids should act, instead of letting them do what they want and not telling them how to act

Church on Tuesday

Noo wrote: »

While it's absolutely horrific that this poor little chap saw this as the only solution....what 9 year old knows successful suicide techniques!? The whole situation is wrong on so many levels.

It's probably because he had a phone (or similar device) and looked it up himself I suspect.

Utterly tragic.

na1

suicide_circus wrote: »

Malayalam wrote: »

What I can't understand is how suicide is such an ''option'' for kids nowadays. I see fairly regular reports of young teenagers committing suicide and the reason given is beyond trivial. What has happened to children to make them feel that life is not something to be fought for in the face of all trauma because it is precious ?

the article says he was bullied for just four days. that is an astonishingly quick turn around. one can only suspect other factors at play.

That 'gay' thing is just to make article headlines.
No one would bother if there was just a bullying

na1

Deleted User wrote: »

NIMAN wrote: »

Thats kinda my point.
Why was he declaring himself gay at 9?
I know some kids mature faster than others, but that shocked me.

I know I was gay since I was 8 years old we discover at a young age that we are different

Were you fancy boys or adults?

spurious

na1 wrote: »

Were you fancy boys or adults?

What an odd question.

I too am gay and knew from a very early age I was different. Before I knew about sex of course I didn't know what my feelings were, but I knew I didn't fit in with the stories people read in books, or saw in films. I didn't like most of the things the other girls did. In fact for a while when I did become sexually aware, I thought all girls felt like me. Kind of disappointing when I found they didn't.

R.I.P. to the little bloke. Terribly sad.

Billy86

aroundthehouse wrote: »

here here well said, why cant people just accept how we should be not what we think we should be

Ok, now go ahead and list every single thing people should be if that's the case.

freshpopcorn

There was the odd homophobic insult along with others thrown around when I was at school.
I didn't know anybody announcing there sexuality at the age of nine tough.
Most of us knew what being gay was and what suicide was.
Most people had a fair idea who was gay tough when we got into the later half of primary school.
Something I have noticed tough is
Kids are more likely to say they are gay now at an earlier age now without fully understanding what it is. Even with all the information that's out there they can label themselves as gay for liking certain things from what I've seen.
Suicide is discussed far more now also in an open way. However due the internet/etc suicide may be sort of glorified to younger people unless it's dealt with properly.

TheShockmaster

Terrible story that no one comes out of with any credit.

I'm a little disturbed by the fact that he told his parent he was excited to come out in school. Why did she not tell him not to? I'm not suggesting she bury it, but as a parent you have to be practical and clearly no good can come of it.

I can't help but think that the parent was naive and possibly proud that her son was so progressive and liberal, that's all we'll and good, but school life is not good to sensitive kids who stand out, let alone announce themselves as different.

How Soon Is Now

TheShockmaster wrote: »

Terrible story that no one comes out of with any credit.

I'm a little disturbed by the fact that he told his parent he was excited to come out in school. Why did she not tell him not to? I'm not suggesting she bury it, but as a parent you have to be practical and clearly no good can come of it.

I can't help but think that the parent was naive and possibly proud that her son was so progressive and liberal, that's all we'll and good, but school life is not good to sensitive kids who stand out, let alone announce themselves as different.

This happened in America so you can imagine there's some over the top bull crap behind this.

Ill say it yet again but nearly every issue with modern society around the western world more then likely stemmed from American way of life.

I got bullyed when I was in primary school and people tried it with me in secondary but no one told anyone to kill themselves or any of that ****.

It's a different world these days people are either far to sensitive or learning from awful examples in society.

aroundthehouse

freshpopcorn wrote: »

There was the odd homophobic insult along with others thrown around when I was at school.
I didn't know anybody announcing there sexuality at the age of nine tough.
Most of us knew what being gay was and what suicide was.
Most people had a fair idea who was gay tough when we got into the later half of primary school.
Something I have noticed tough is
Kids are more likely to say they are gay now at an earlier age now without fully understanding what it is. Even with all the information that's out there they can label themselves as gay for liking certain things from what I've seen.
Suicide is discussed far more now also in an open way. However due the internet/etc suicide may be sort of glorified to younger people unless it's dealt with properly.

well said, kids at 9 are not mature enough to really understand if they are gay or not, it could be just a phase they are going through, also suicide being glorified is all too available online

joey100

But does it really matter if he was gay or not? Kids that age decide they are something in their heads and that's it, it could have been some one he looked up to is gay and he wanted to be like them or it could have been that he was gay and knew he was. The issue isn't that a nine year old said he was gay, the issue is that he was bullied enough that he committed suicide. Maybe he was gay, maybe he wasn't, that's beside the point really.

Neyite

Bullying needs to be nipped at the low level stuff and a consistent school-wide policy that isn't just something that gets read when there's an incident but implemented on a day to day basis.

Our local school has an anti-bullying ethos, and it starts from Junior Infants with the school doing buddy-systems and odd-sock days to highlight inclusiveness and fostering kindness between all the kids. The older ones are taught to watch out for the littler ones who look a bit alone and include them in their game or alert a teacher if they seem upset. There's zero tolerance for teasing people because they are different or exclusion. It gets nipped by staff early and often.

freshpopcorn

Neyite wrote: »

Bullying needs to be nipped at the low level stuff and a consistent school-wide policy that isn't just something that gets read when there's an incident but implemented on a day to day basis.

Our local school has an anti-bullying ethos, and it starts from Junior Infants with the school doing buddy-systems and odd-sock days to highlight inclusiveness and fostering kindness between all the kids. The older ones are taught to watch out for the littler ones who look a bit alone and include them in their game or alert a teacher if they seem upset. There's zero tolerance for teasing people because they are different or exclusion. It gets nipped by staff early and often.

Can I ask you does any of this work? Unless a teacher witnesses it or several people comes forward.
I went to a primary and secondary school which was a telling schools and had bullying codes etc.(No odd sock day I thought that was for down syndrome but we did have a gay week) Now the odd person did get bullied every so often but a lot of teasing did go on.

joey100

I've worked on anti bullying programmes in schools and out of schools. It's an impossible area to fully tackle. The biggest issue by far is access to technology and social media. The days of being bullied in school and then going home and forgetting about it are gone. Move away from physical bullying to the 24 hours a day 7 days a week online bullying. Even if you the child doesn't have a smart phone it makes no difference, they are shown the messages and posts by others. It's horrible. And unfortunately as much as we do about it I don't think it will ever fully be removed, we tackle behaviour as it arises and show them the impact it can have on others, it still happens, as much as they are shocked about it when they are learning. A lot of the time they fail to see what they are doing is bullying, don't see the real impact on others and to be honest in a lot of cases it's simply rather them than me. There's a bit of self preservation in it, once the attention is on someone else a lot of people are happy to leave it there so it's not on them.

Deusexmachina

bluewolf wrote: »

No, but he may have. and perhaps the bullies had the same scoffing attitude about 'gender neutral activities' like you did. which is the whole point.
if a boy is not into football and climbing trees it doesn't mean there is something wrong with them

Shocking sad story overall.

I never for one second suggested there was anything wrong with him. I absolutley reject your snide allegation.

I expressed genuine and sincere sympathy for the poor boy and his parents. Its a horrific thing to have happened.

I stated that, as an innocent little boy of 9 years old, he should not have been in any way contemplating his sexuality - never mind coming out with a public statement of pride in his gayness.

It is not something a child of 9 should be contemplating in any way. My point was that children of that age should be fully emersed in childrens activities and pleasures - innocent fun.

I do not care whether these activities are 'boyish' or 'girlish' - merely that they are normal, fun things that little children do - colouring books, playing with plasticine, running and jumpling.


Please do not make this about bloody gender!!

DEFTLEFTHAND

Tragic. Kids are really been made to grow up too fast these days.