When did you realise you weren’t really a young person anymore?

Hector Savage

Sorry if it's been posted but this is a great poem on the matter

Mirror in February by Thomas Kinsella


The day dawns, with scent of must and rain,
Of opened soil, dark trees, dry bedroom air.
Under the fading lamp, half dressed - my brain
Idling on some compulsive fantasy -
I towel my shaven jaw and stop, and stare,
Riveted by a dark exhausted eye,
A dry downturning mouth.

It seems again that it is time to learn,
In this untiring, crumbling place of growth
To which, for the time being, I return.
Now plainly in the mirror of my soul
I read that I have looked my last on youth
And little more; for they are not made whole
That reach the age of Christ.

Below my window the wakening trees,
Hacked clean for better bearing, stand defaced
Suffering their brute necessities;
And how should the flesh not quail, that span for span
Is mutilated more? In slow distaste
I fold my towel with what grace I can,
Not young, and not renewable, but man.

Lotus Flower

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I didn't say life was over at 24. It just .. loses it's potential or something. Less potentially sweet. There are fewer novelties. The years after you finish school are typically very heady, up until about 21,22 I would reckon. In my own life I've personally had a better time of it being 25 onwards but taking life as a human being generally I believe life peaks between 16 and 21 - that's 6 years. At those ages you are still going on nights out with most of your friends. The future is still comfortably far away that you've plenty of time to change path. You're typically not tied down yet by a mortgage or family of your own. Your parents are younger (obviously) than they are when you get older. Atheletically, you are comfortably before your peak in most sports at 24 and younger. For the intellectuals, your maths abilities peak in your mid 20s. There is a value in potential for it's own sake; at say 20, you have another 8 years left maybe playing sport to a high level. You can eat crap food with more abandon than when you get older because your metabolism is quicker and you are less prone to suffering health problems from it. By 25 the thought of doing the same stuff you did aged 17 to 21 is kind of depressing and feels like you're too old for it, and because your friends vaguely feel similarly they don't want to do such stuff either in any case. You see your friends much less often because you are all doing your own thing, and not just in college. Things just feel sweeter when you're younger - music sounds better, anything to do with girls is more exciting, life is just headier. The whole entertainment industry is geared towards people 24 and under - I'm being generous even saying 24, as ages 23 and 24 are like a transition period. Between 23 and 27 say life feels very different. At 20 you are 20 years off 40, which feels very comfortably far away to you at that age. At 28, you are 12 years off 40, and, given you left school only 11 years before (and that never feels that long ago for some reason, anecdotally), being 40 doesn't seem so theoretical anymore. Reminds me of the saying- "Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different?".

Disagree with every word. For me, life had barely started by then. It's easy to look back on youth with rose tinted glasses but for me the 20s were full of self doubt, caring what others thought of me and that kind of thing. Not to say I didn't have a great time, I did- but the idea that it's the peak of life, nope. There's more to life than being able to go out on nights out all the time and being able to eat crap food with abandon.

Comhrá

When did you realise you weren’t really a young person anymore?


The day I bought my first thermal vest.

marvin80

When you realise how old certain songs are, like this one - 22 years old!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aeETEoNfOg

StereoSound

Young ones don't seem to be so interested in me anymore, that's the biggest sign I had lol. I'm still young (mid 20's) but the days of chatting up 19 year olds are definitely gone.

xi5yvm0owc1s2b

My uncle once said I'd know I was getting older when I thought new music sounded like rubbish compared to what I grew up with.

Then I look at the likes of Ariana Grande, Lady Gaga, and Harry Styles.

Our music really was better.

Melodeon

My mother informed me a few years ago that I was older than the new bishop. Thanks Ma!

Also, I recently popped into the local primary school to drop in some paperwork, and found that I'd been in the same class, in that same school, as the current Principal's mother. :rolleyes:

chrissb8

Can't say I feel "old" yet as I'm 28 but you notice the difference of say 5 years. I can't stomach being at a party with people in their early 20's or late teens. I always say they haven't learned to drink, That is, not drinking to the point of blackout and urinating in the oven.

One stand out moment recently was me and 3 housemates went out. One of them is 18 and all we got was "another shot yeah?", "Drink it all in one!" cue the "Why would we do that?", "Do you not want to enjoy yourself?". Explaining to him that it's nice to get drunk but not actively pursuing the void at the end of the tunnel drunk. He could have just had a question mark over his head he couldn't get the concept of drinking, getting mildly drunk and then sauntering off home pleasantly blissed. 

I'm glad I'm this age now. Old enough to dip into any madness when I want to but aware enough to understand that sometimes not all the time is better.

kunst nugget

Otto Hollow Chain wrote: »

My uncle once said I'd know I was getting older when I thought new music sounded like rubbish compared to what I grew up with.

Then I look at the likes of Ariana Grande, Lady Gaga, and Harry Styles.

Our music really was better.

I'm sure there was plenty of crap around when you were younger and even nostalgia has made that guff seem way better than it actually was.

There's plenty of decent music out there if you're willing to turn off the radio and go looking elsewhere.

xi5yvm0owc1s2b

kunst nugget wrote: »

I'm sure there was plenty of crap around when you were younger and even nostalgia has made that guff seem way better than it actually was.

The general standard of music is rubbish today compared to what it was from the 60s through the 90s, and I don't think it's all about "nostalgia." In fact, I know quite a few young people today who listen to artists ranging from The Beatles and Bob Dylan to Iron Maiden and AC/DC, and say that they're far better than anything coming out today.

That's not to say that there wasn't plenty of crap around too. The Stock, Aitken & Waterman stuff in the 80s, for instance. But that was counterbalanced by amazing music that just isn't being produced today.

PlaneSpeeking

Otto Hollow Chain wrote: »

The general standard of music is rubbish today compared to what it was from the 60s through the 90s, and I don't think it's all about "nostalgia." In fact, I know quite a few young people today who listen to artists ranging from The Beatles and Bob Dylan to Iron Maiden and AC/DC, and say that they're far better than anything coming out today.

That's not to say that there wasn't plenty of crap around too. The Stock, Aitken & Waterman stuff in the 80s, for instance. But that was counterbalanced by amazing music that just isn't being produced today.

Exhibit A - the pox Sheeran

Gimme A Pound

Yeah there is always good music available if you look for it, and we are lucky to have a resource to help us do this easily today.

But chart/pop music is unquestionably more sh1t than ever. There was a time when David Bowie, Prince, New Order, The Jam, Roxy Music got into the top 10.

It's disingenuous to say the charts are the same as ever.

ginandtonicsky

When people started responding to my age with "but you don't LOOK (my age)"

First time I recall it was at 30.

CptMackey

When I was in a night club on a stag and the bouncer asked us for I'd. After seeming mine he said sure you 15 years older than me

pickarooney

2016 wrote: »

When I realised that the soccer players that were my 'heroes' were now younger than me

When I realised the elected heads of state of three countries were younger than me.

kunst nugget

Jaelyn Sharp Brow wrote: »

It's disingenuous to say the charts are the same as ever.

Unquestionably, chart music is appealing to the lowest common denominator now more than ever but the original post didn't specify chart music.

The 80s and 90s had some absolute tripe in the charts with the odd diamond shining through. Music has become more fragmented in terms of what's out there these days with not a huge amount of overarching trends like there would have been in years gone by and major labels are not willing to take risks anymore and playlists on radio stations are more conservative than they've ever been so you have to search it out rather than getting to hear it on the radio but lets be honest, in this day and age, that's not hard. You just have to do a search on your Spotify or iTunes App. In the 80s and 90s it was passing tapes to each other of bands like Husker Du or the Jesus Lizard or Fugazi. It was going down to the record shop and judging a record by its cover, checking if it was on a quality label and hoping for the best. And if it was crap on first listen, you were going to end listening to it enough times that it stopped being crap because you wasted two weeks pocket money on it.

I'm getting old because all this shít is ancient history now.

kunst nugget

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

When people started responding to my age with "but you don't LOOK (my age)"

First time I recall it was at 30.

The 'I'm really quite young looking' humblebrag.

xi5yvm0owc1s2b

Jaelyn Sharp Brow wrote: »

Yeah there is always good music available if you look for it, and we are lucky to have a resource to help us do this easily today.

But chart/pop music is unquestionably more sh1t than ever. There was a time when David Bowie, Prince, New Order, The Jam, Roxy Music got into the top 10.

Just picked a random date -- May 6th, 1984. Top 10 singles in the UK charts were:

1. The Reflex -- Duran Duran
2. Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now) -- Phil Collins
3. I Want to Break Free -- Queen
4. Automatic -- The Pointer Sisters
5. Locomotion -- Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark
6. One Love / People Get Ready -- Bob Marley
7. When You're Young and in Love -- The Flying Pickets
8. Don't Tell Me -- Blancmange
9. Footloose -- Kenny Loggins
10. Hello -- Lionel Richie

Many of these songs are still well-known and get a lot of radio play today, over 34 years on. You just can't say the same thing about music of the 2010s.

Harry Palmr

That list just suggests music radio is still in the control of middle aged people

If I ran a station it would include nothing after about 1990 cos that's when I lost interest in "new music".

PlaneSpeeking

Otto Hollow Chain wrote: »

Just picked a random date -- May 6th, 1984. Top 10 singles in the UK charts were:

1. The Reflex -- Duran Duran
2. Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now) -- Phil Collins
3. I Want to Break Free -- Queen
4. Automatic -- The Pointer Sisters
5. Locomotion -- Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark
6. One Love / People Get Ready -- Bob Marley
7. When You're Young and in Love -- The Flying Pickets
8. Don't Tell Me -- Blancmange
9. Footloose -- Kenny Loggins
10. Hello -- Lionel Richie

Many of these songs are still well-known and get a lot of radio play today, over 34 years on. You just can't say the same thing about music of the 2010s.

Listened to half of them just this week alone!!!!! Was 14 in 1984, a good time for music.

xi5yvm0owc1s2b

Harry Palmr wrote: »

That list just suggests music radio is still in the control of middle aged people

If I ran a station it would include nothing after about 1990 cos that's when I lost interest in "new music".

Of course, the top 5 grossing concert tours of 2017 were by Guns N’ Roses, U2, Justin Bieber, Metallica, and Depeche Mode. Four of these five were formed between the late 70s and the mid-80s. The enduring popularity of these groups signals something worrying about the current generation of musicians.

PlaneSpeeking

Otto Hollow Chain wrote: »

Of course, the top 5 grossing concert tours of 2017 were by Guns N’ Roses, U2, Justin Bieber, Metallica, and Depeche Mode. Four of these five were formed between the late 70s and the mid-80s. The enduring popularity of these groups signals something worrying about the current generation of musicians.

Bieber ?

Jesus that's some exception to those!!!!

chrissb8

Lotus Flower wrote: »

Deleted User wrote: »

I didn't say life was over at 24. It just .. loses it's potential or something. Less potentially sweet. There are fewer novelties. The years after you finish school are typically very heady, up until about 21,22 I would reckon. In my own life I've personally had a better time of it being 25 onwards but taking life as a human being generally I believe life peaks between 16 and 21 - that's 6 years. At those ages you are still going on nights out with most of your friends. The future is still comfortably far away that you've plenty of time to change path. You're typically not tied down yet by a mortgage or family of your own. Your parents are younger (obviously) than they are when you get older. Atheletically, you are comfortably before your peak in most sports at 24 and younger. For the intellectuals, your maths abilities peak in your mid 20s. There is a value in potential for it's own sake; at say 20, you have another 8 years left maybe playing sport to a high level. You can eat crap food with more abandon than when you get older because your metabolism is quicker and you are less prone to suffering health problems from it. By 25 the thought of doing the same stuff you did aged 17 to 21 is kind of depressing and feels like you're too old for it, and because your friends vaguely feel similarly they don't want to do such stuff either in any case. You see your friends much less often because you are all doing your own thing, and not just in college. Things just feel sweeter when you're younger - music sounds better, anything to do with girls is more exciting, life is just headier. The whole entertainment industry is geared towards people 24 and under - I'm being generous even saying 24, as ages 23 and 24 are like a transition period. Between 23 and 27 say life feels very different. At 20 you are 20 years off 40, which feels very comfortably far away to you at that age. At 28, you are 12 years off 40, and, given you left school only 11 years before (and that never feels that long ago for some reason, anecdotally), being 40 doesn't seem so theoretical anymore. Reminds me of the saying- "Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back everything is different?".

Disagree with every word. For me, life had barely started by then. It's easy to look back on youth with rose tinted glasses but for me the 20s were full of self doubt, caring what others thought of me and that kind of thing. Not to say I didn't have a great time, I did- but the idea that it's the peak of life, nope. There's more to life than being able to go out on nights out all the time and being able to eat crap food with abandon.

Yeah totally agree with this one here. Early 20's were just an extension of my late teens. Anxiety, laziness, unsure of what I was & who I wanted to be. Life really only started for me 2 years ago and I expect it only to get better. You just do stupid things in your youth and have lots of fun. By no means does this hold any true value for me as something that I call the "glory days" far from it. I'm in the glory days now. Making a life, taking real chances and risks off the back of my own decisions. Nothing more exciting than that.

ilovesmybrick

Probably the first time I took being mistaken for being a few years older as an insult, rather than a complement!

dartboardio

I guess I should of called this thread ‘how to know when you’re growing up’ instead of when you’re getting old!

Potential-Monke

My body is getting old but I shall forever be a child in my mind. The day that changes, I might as well walk off a cliff, because if I lose the sense of wonderment and excitement I get from experiencing new things, or continued excitement I get from my gaming, what's the point anymore? Lots of people swap this for new experiences with children, starting a family and all that jazz, but i've no interest in that. So while my body will continue to age, I'm very hopeful that my mind will stay young.

bb12

Squinting to read the ingredients on packets in the supermarket, even with glasses on.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Otto Hollow Chain wrote: »

Just picked a random date -- May 6th, 1984. Top 10 singles in the UK charts were:

1. The Reflex -- Duran Duran
2. Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now) -- Phil Collins
3. I Want to Break Free -- Queen
4. Automatic -- The Pointer Sisters
5. Locomotion -- Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark
6. One Love / People Get Ready -- Bob Marley
7. When You're Young and in Love -- The Flying Pickets
8. Don't Tell Me -- Blancmange
9. Footloose -- Kenny Loggins
10. Hello -- Lionel Richie

Many of these songs are still well-known and get a lot of radio play today, over 34 years on. You just can't say the same thing about music of the 2010s.

At least half of that is absolute shíte, tbh, I read that and thought you were the guy arguing that chart music was always awful. Most people always stay fond of the shíte music from their teens, ain't mean it's good.

You really think people like Adele and Kendrick Lamar are going to just disappear from the radio and they'll still be playing Duran Duran in 2040 because it's just sooo much better?

Turnipman

Yieldcurve wrote: »

Why do people consider it a bad thing to get older? What's so bad about it? I turn 34 in a couple of months and I don't see the big deal. Maybe 80 is bad because your body will begin to fail, but it just seems ridiculous that anyone under 40 would have a problem with feeling old.

I hadn't realised that this thread was restricted to pimple squeezers

Sincere apologies for having inadvertently stuck my head into the creche!

ginandtonicsky

kunst nugget wrote: »

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

When people started responding to my age with "but you don't LOOK (my age)"

First time I recall it was at 30.

The 'I'm really quite young looking' humblebrag.

Not at all, I look my age 100%. People still seem to have this really distorted notion of age though where 30+ means you’re well and truly passed it, ancient, especially if you’re a woman. It’s bizarre.

Hector Bellend

I had a phenomenally depressing thought recently.

I'm 41. Based on life expectancy, I'm closer to death than birth.

I wish I was 17 again. When I was a walking hard on. There were lots of girl I wanted to bang but was afraid to ask. I'd now ask every single one of them and not make excuses.

wally1990

1- When I went to indie and the younger crowd there thought I was an undercover guard because of my age ?!? and also because we had a big tent and over heard them saying it

Also didn’t know anyone in the line up but went for the weekend anyway

2- Starting to get grey hairs so will need to dye the hair

3- When I’m in a pub and music is too loud and I just want to leave

4- painting the house at weekend / doing chores

5- looking forward to nights in rather than nights out because anything after 5/6 drinks has me dying the next day

6- taking out a pension and realizing it’s either smart or I’m just getting older

7- when my OH states im totally out of the fashion trend and I can’t get my head around what young guys are wearing these days

8- I don’t know any modern mainstream acts

I’m only 28:(

Verity.

fryup wrote: »

4fm is best for the oldies

Out of interest I just stuck it on to see what was playing, classic hits apparently. Ricky Martin singing Livin la Vida loca is now deemed a classic. What the hell is going on.

TheQuietFella

When I started looking more at the Mothers!

Comhrá

pawdee

When I started listening to hip op.

harry Bailey esq

The Pheasant2 wrote: »

When I was able to leaf through a broadsheet newspaper tidily without it turning into some unfoldable mass of creases with half the pages falling out.

Lies!

xi5yvm0owc1s2b

Alaric Slimy Joker wrote: »

At least half of that is absolute shíte, tbh, I read that and thought you were the guy arguing that chart music was always awful. Most people always stay fond of the shíte music from their teens, ain't mean it's good.

You really think people like Adele and Kendrick Lamar are going to just disappear from the radio and they'll still be playing Duran Duran in 2040 because it's just sooo much better?

My point was about enduring influence, which is difficult to dispute. Songs such as Queen's "I Want to Break Free," Phil Collins' "Against All Odds," Bob Marley's "One Love," Kenny Loggins "Footloose," and Lionel Richie's "Hello" are still played regularly on the radio and featured in TV shows and movies.

The most popular Christmas songs on Irish radio include Wham's "Last Christmas," Band Aid's "Do They Know it's Christmas?" (1984), Chris Rea's "Driving Home for Christmas" (1988), and "Fairytale of New York" (1988). All of them from the '80s.

I also often see Irish teenagers sporting Iron Maiden and AC/DC T-shirts, even though Angus Young is probably the same age as their grandfather. Why are they still listening to this music?

In 2052, 34 years from now, will people still be listening to the likes of Kendrick Lamar? I doubt it, personally.

PlaneSpeeking

Otto Hollow Chain wrote: »

My point was about enduring influence, which is difficult to dispute. Songs such as Queen's "I Want to Break Free," Phil Collins' "Against All Odds," Bob Marley's "One Love," Kenny Loggins "Footloose," and Lionel Richie's "Hello" are still played regularly on the radio and featured in TV shows and movies.

The most popular Christmas songs on Irish radio include Wham's "Last Christmas," Band Aid's "Do They Know it's Christmas?" (1984), Chris Rea's "Driving Home for Christmas" (1988), and "Fairytale of New York" (1988). All of them from the '80s.

I also often see Irish teenagers sporting Iron Maiden and AC/DC T-shirts, even though Angus Young is probably the same age as their grandfather. Why are they still listening to this music?

In 2052, 34 years from now, will people still be listening to the likes of Kendrick Lamar? I doubt it, personally.

Not in a million f**king years will they.

Duran Duran still playing in 2052 ? Absolutely.

victor8600

bb12 wrote: »

Squinting to read the ingredients on packets in the supermarket, even with glasses on.

Actually reading the list of ingredients on a supermarket food packet.

Lambay island

I remember the first time a group of young fellas says "hey mister will you get us cans in the offie?" as both been a proud and sad moment.

RayCun

Otto Hollow Chain wrote: »

My point was about enduring influence, which is difficult to dispute. Songs such as Queen's "I Want to Break Free," Phil Collins' "Against All Odds," Bob Marley's "One Love," Kenny Loggins "Footloose," and Lionel Richie's "Hello" are still played regularly on the radio and featured in TV shows and movies.

Of course you think they're better, you grew up with them.

There is no holy list somewhere of "the best songs", and radio playlists and TV shows are drawn from that list. Radio stations play what the audience will listen to, and the audience for radio is old. TV shows and movies put in songs that their audience will be familiar with - it's a regular criticism of movies, they use familiar songs to evoke a feeling rather than things intrinsic to the movie - which is by definition older.

Equally, there is no holy list of "the best songs this week", and the chart = that list. The chart is the list of songs that people paid for in the last week. In 1984, if you wanted to listen to "Footloose", your choices were to wait for it to come up on the radio, tape it, or buy it. Today, if you want to listen to one of these songs, there are a thousand options that don't involve buying it, and those options don't feed into the charts.

And this greater availability of music (and movies, books...) means the scene is much more splintered. You can listen to music that isn't stocked in your local record store, and isn't played on your local radio station. You can buy books that were published 30 years ago as easy as books that were published this year.

PlaneSpeeking

RayCun wrote: »

Of course you think they're better, you grew up with them.

There is no holy list somewhere of "the best songs", and radio playlists and TV shows are drawn from that list. Radio stations play what the audience will listen to, and the audience for radio is old. TV shows and movies put in songs that their audience will be familiar with - it's a regular criticism of movies, they use familiar songs to evoke a feeling rather than things intrinsic to the movie - which is by definition older.

Equally, there is no holy list of "the best songs this week", and the chart = that list. The chart is the list of songs that people paid for in the last week. In 1984, if you wanted to listen to "Footloose", your choices were to wait for it to come up on the radio, tape it, or buy it. Today, if you want to listen to one of these songs, there are a thousand options that don't involve buying it, and those options don't feed into the charts.

And this greater availability of music (and movies, books...) means the scene is much more splintered. You can listen to music that isn't stocked in your local record store, and isn't played on your local radio station. You can buy books that were published 30 years ago as easy as books that were published this year.

Ten years ago this month, topping the charts were:

Katy Perry
Pussycat Dolls
Oasis
The Verve
Kings of Leon

I'd argue that Oasis have staying power but if you think we'll be listening to the rest in 30 years, you're mad.

Yet music from the late 70s, early 80s is on all the time. People actively seek it out on streaming services, MP3 players etc.

Hell, the Beatles, Stones, Beach Boys etc are still playing on radio regularly and we're talking after 60 years.

Some modern music is good (Adele can write and carry a tune - schmaltzy garbage a lot may be) but generally speaking most is uber processed manufactured image led crap.

RayCun

There's no way Katy Perry and Pussycat Dolls will be getting airplay in twenty years. Never going to happen.

Verity. wrote: »

Ricky Martin singing Livin la Vida loca is now deemed a classic.

....

PlaneSpeeking

RayCun wrote: »

There's no way Katy Perry and Pussycat Dolls will be getting airplay in twenty years. Never going to happen.



....

Scherzinger is still hot at 40 but at 50 ? I doubt it!!!

Livin La Vida Loca is a classic in the sense that Copacabana is - you know it's crap but it has a kind of "lame but good" quality to it!

Perry has 3 years left, tops.

kunst nugget

PlaneSpeeking wrote: »

Ten years ago this month, topping the charts were:

Katy Perry
Pussycat Dolls
Oasis
The Verve
Kings of Leon

I'd argue that Oasis have staying power but if you think we'll be listening to the rest in 30 years, you're mad.

They'll all be listened to in the same way that Vox Nihilli's chart selection from 1984 will be played as oldies. Bittersweet Symphony, Sex on Fire, Don't Cha, Roar, Live Forever. Doesn't matter how shít you think any of those songs were, they were massive hits that will last just like the pap from Phil Collins and Kenny Loggins.

In the Aretha Franklin thread, there were people going on about what a legend the woman was and how great she was as a singer - that's indisputable - but I'd bet 95% of the people posting on that thread knew three songs by her at the most and 98% didn't own a single album of hers.

RayCun

PlaneSpeeking wrote: »

you know it's crap but it has a kind of "lame but good" quality to it!

which is exactly what people will say as they listen to Roar in twenty years.

Because Katy Perry will be what Ricky Martin is for you, something that triggers nostalgia

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

Sure I go nuts now when music that I loathed the first time around comes on the radio, Britney Spears, Westlife, stuff like that, just because it brings back memories.

Hate to break it to people as well but I'd say this new fangled hippity hop might be more than a flash in the pan :pac:

PlaneSpeeking

Alaric Slimy Joker wrote: »

Sure I go nuts now when music that I loathed the first time around comes on the radio, Britney Spears, Westlife, stuff like that, just because it brings back memories.

Hate to break it to people as well but I'd say this new fangled hippity hop might be more than a flash in the pan :pac:

God I listened to Flying Without Wings this week and thought "that's not that bad".

Hello senility!!!!

Homesick Alien

When I started to genuinely look forward to "getting a few jobs done" at the weekend