How to handle a volatile, aggressive colleague

ginandtonicsky

I work in Sales, on a team that includes a client engagement manager. Her job is to handle existing clients and make sure they renew their contracts each year, mine is to bring in new business / new logos to the company.

We've had a grey area kind of project recently, where we've been trying to expand our contract with an existing client. My boss has decided that I will handle it, as technically it's "new business" and we would sell separately to different departments of the same company. Said colleague is not happy.

She's essentially been back-channelling my efforts with whatsapp, linkedin and facebook messages to personal contacts she has within the organisation, and using these efforts as a way of trying to prove that this is something she should handle. Again, her role is not to bring in new business, so it's not her job. Her efforts are making me look unprofessional with these clients and devaluing my role, as it's confusing clients and essentially looping me out of the equation.

For some background on her personality - she's a Type A, has to be the centre of attention, very charming and charismatic, prone to exaggeration and one upmanship. Let's say her name is Anna - every conversation and every work meeting is the Anna show. What she's up to and how amazing she is. We get on well in a casual sense, have the same industry background, but since I've learned of this, it's damaged the trust between us, culminating in her storming out of the office today when I spoke to our mutual boss about it.

I've also learned that she was doing this same back-channelling on some other contracts of mine too, because she "has some personal contacts and can move things quicker" (this is never true for me). She's also been aligning herself quite closely to the new managing director, setting up daily meetings with him and looping out our line manager (who has a better read on her personality at this stage), etc.

At this stage, our work environment has become so tense that I dread having to deal with her every day. "What tricks will she get up to today" She's had problems with drama and rubbing people up the wrong way in previous roles too. She'll casually tell you that she loves drama, she's gone to anger management, and she's ferociously competitive. Has to be the first to reply to anything and everything, I've even caught her reading my texts over my shoulder before.

On my part, my personality is the opposite and I absolutely hate conflict, avoid confrontation at all costs. I need some strategies on how to deal with her and simultaneously protect my role, where I have really high targets and need to rely on full market autonomy when it comes to trying to reach them.

Has anyone dealt with this type of personality in the work place before? And can suggest some best ways of dealing with her?

Diziet

This is hard - what does your mutual boss say about this? it is really their business to fix this issue.

ginandtonicsky

Thanks Diziet.

That's where it's tricky. I have a line manager who works out of NYC and a relatively new managing director who works in my office. The NYC boss has a good read on her, but has been quite hands off so far - probably easy to be when you're in a totally different office.

She's laid down the law as far as this recent deal goes, but my colleague has been buttering up the new managing director to the point where he's a lot more open to her getting involved. His MO seems to be to placate her and not really take a hard line at all.

We're back to being friendly today, but it's like a ticking time bomb as long as these issues are not addressed and she continues to try to take ownership over work that falls under my remit and her not at all getting that it's not her job.

Diziet

You need to get your line manager to clarify who is to work on the contract - this kind of carry on does not make for a positive outcome. And if necessary get the new managing director into a call with the NYC manager. Who is senior to who?

ginandtonicsky

Our Sales team is divided into verticals.

My line manager is the director of our specific vertical. She hired my colleague. The managing director is the overall director across all teams and relatively new to the company - so technically he is senior to my line manager. My colleague has been having meetings with him, aligning herself closely, and this is what worries me - she's very charming and convincing when you meet her initially, and I haven't been as communicative with him about this yet with him. He's previously called her "high maintenance", so I'm sure he's got some idea though. I just don't know what she's scheming with him and that's what worries me.

I've been vocal with my line manager, who is equally frustrated with her. My colleague has essentially screened her out though, and ultimately what managing director decides is probably what goes.

But I get your point. This is an issue above my pay grade and a hard line needs to be taken above my head on this. I'll have to talk to them both about it. Talking to her is about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

gordongekko

Have you a dignity in the work place policy. Her actions towards your professionalism is probably covered in it.

miamee

It sounds like she is probably making your company look unprofessional. You are coming to clients with the official line, organising meetings, sales pitches, etc. and she's sending Whatsapps to individuals trying to undermine you, the official representative of your brand/company? This is the tack I would take with both the line manager and MD rather than she is making *you* look bad. She is making the company look bad, as though the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing. They'll be more likely to do something to protect the company's reputation, I reckon.

Borzoi

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

We've had a grey area kind of project recently, where we've been trying to expand our contract with an existing client. My boss has decided that I will handle it, as technically it's "new business" and we would sell separately to different departments of the same company. Said colleague is not happy.

She's essentially been back-channelling my efforts with whatsapp, linkedin and facebook messages to personal contacts she has within the organisation, and using these efforts as a way of trying to prove that this is something she should handle. Again, her role is not to bring in new business, so it's not her job. Her efforts are making me look unprofessional with these clients and devaluing my role, as it's confusing clients and essentially looping me out of the equation.

So in essence, you are getting the sale ( and commission) . This needs to be communicated.

Then you need to be clear to Anna that if the sale doesn't happen you are going to drop her in it for all her interference.

Basically it becomes heads you win, tails she loses

ginandtonicsky

gordongekko wrote: »

Have you a dignity in the work place policy. Her actions towards your professionalism is probably covered in it.

I work for a start-up, so we're a lot more loose and inexperienced as a company when it comes to these official policies. I honestly don't know if such an incident has been a problem at my company before, suspect not.

In terms of commission and all that stuff - because of her interference and how territorial she's been about this from day one, my bosses have gone over and back on how this would be broken down from a credit/commission perspective. As I mentioned earlier, it's a grey area where it's a new contract that would be added to an existing client contract, she's got some personal connections, so she's been claiming it as hers.

Most recently, it's been back in my name, but the back-channelling in the name of "helping ginandtonicsky to close the deal" has not stopped.

I do like that idea of broaching it as giving the company a bad name and potentially jeopardising the deal - because I don't think that's inaccurate.

Thanks for your insights here. Head is wrecked with all of this bs.

The latest is that she's pushing for a new role, "Head of Partnerships", but has no real idea of what that would look like or how it would be different from what I do with New Business opportunities or what my colleagues do in Marketing. She just wants her name in lights, I'm beginning to think.

bobbysands81

First thing I’d do here is deal in facts. Take your personal opinion out of it, it doesn’t matter what personality type she is etc... deal with things you can prove.

You were asked to take on this role. Can you prove she is undermining you?
If you have proof she is undermining you you must bring it to the attention of your line manager.

If you’re the lead on this project then she should only interfere or “help” if you ask for it. Get some ground rules going.

If you’re having a conversation with your bosses don’t turn it into a gossip session, just talk about the facts of what’s happening.

beauf

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

.... She's also been aligning herself quite closely to the new managing director, setting up daily meetings with him and looping out our line manager (who has a better read on her personality at this stage), etc....

Shes angling to get a promotion under the MD. Skip past all of you. Then you'll all report to her. She'll make a complete disaster of it all, but jump ship to another company before its fully realized. You'll all be left picking up the pieces.

beauf

I would suggest not making it about you, or your role but seed the idea that shes really after the manager roles above you. Which is basically true. They may not have realized this.
On a day to day, I generally help people like this overload themselves and then distance myself from them. Generally this keeps them so busy they stop being interested in what I'm doing.
Also it helps to steer them at opportunities that focus them on other people and away from you. Also keeps any implosion at arms length.

If they are good they will just get promoted and disappear in the management above you. If not they'll start to get out of their depth, and lose credibility. If you are the rock in the storm, then you will last the distance.

Alternatively, if you are competitive and like to play the game then you do the whole office politics thing. Cosy up to the MD, do a MBA, so some financial studies in your own time about the business. Be smarter and dress sharper. Also do the same thing cosy up to her and milk her for the contacts etc.

ginandtonicsky

Thanks guys.

A bit of progress today in terms of her actually consulting me about actions she thought we should take on the account. She still made the point of jumping to reach out each time though, before I got the chance to re-connect with my contacts.

That's the general frustration with her - this competitive, underhand rush to email or message or call important contacts and tell me after the fact, just to be seen to have her footprint all over the account. She's simply doing it to prove a point to management, so she can say "I closed that deal all on my own!"

Have a meeting tomorrow, both about this account with my wider team including management and this colleague, and then individually with my MD. So we'll see what comes of it. I will be addressing it in a matter-of-fact way as many of you advised here - so thanks for the tips! Fingers crossed