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Trouble with 12 year old

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  • 05-09-2018 10:08am
    #1
    wilser
    Registered Users Posts: 1,111 ✭✭✭


    Am looking for a bit of advice with my regard to my son.
    3 months ago he was accused by a home owner of throwing a bottle over her back garden, the guards where called they took his details.
    The first we heard about this was last Friday afternoon when a police car rolled up to our house looking for one of his parents, we weren't there and my son was just returning from school when he met the guard in our garden.
    The guards want him to come down to the station voluntarily to make a statement about what happened.
    Something just doesn't sit right with me around all this, the Garda involved says she just wants to box it off. My son has told me the name of the boy who did throw the bottle into her garden ( think their is a bit of history between the 2 families).
    The Garda have said that although it is voluntary for him to come to the station, if we/he chooses not to go then a junior liaison officer will get involved.
    Not sure what sort of feedback/advice I am looking for but even writing this out has helped.
    Thanks for reading

    Edit: post title should say trouble with 13 year old


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    #2
    farmchoice
    Registered Users Posts: 1,026 ✭✭✭farmchoice


    so after he was accused in the wrong (his version) he had his name taken by the guards, he then never told his parents anything about this.


    personally if it was my son i would not be too quick to believe his story. i would have him down to the garda station asap and have him admit his guilt or otherwise provide the name of person who did it if it was not him. i have no doubt the other fella is at home telling his parents that it was your young lad that threw it.



    if this other person who he says threw the bottle and got him in trouble with the guards is a friend of his i'd make it my life's work to make sure he never had anything to do with him again.


    when your teenage son is bringing the guards around the place and either throwing bottles at people or associating with people who are throwing bottles at people its safe to say the time to take serious action has arrived.


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    #3
    wilser
    Registered Users Posts: 1,111 ✭✭✭wilser


    farmchoice wrote: »
    so after he was accused in the wrong (his version) he had his name taken by the guards, he then never told his parents anything about this.


    personally if it was my son i would not be too quick to believe his story. i would have him down to the garda station asap and have him admit his guilt or otherwise provide the name of person who did it if it was not him. i have no doubt the other fella is at home telling his parents that it was your young lad that threw it.



    if this other person who he says threw the bottle and got him in trouble with the guards is a friend of his i'd make it my life's work to make sure he never had anything to do with him again.


    when your teenage son is bringing the guards around the place and either throwing bottles at people or associating with people who are throwing bottles at people its safe to say the time to take serious action has arrived.

    1 Never told us about it no. Think he had hoped/wished that it was over.
    2 didn't know what to believe tbh. But talked to others who where there.
    3 yep, he won't be mixing with them again
    4 serious action is being taken, but it is just that he is not eating or sleeping much since the weekend, it is affecting his school work and I am worried about him tbh. He has given us the other lads name and we had it confirmed by another person who was there.
    Am not sure why he was the one that was confronted by the guards.


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    #4
    punisher5112
    Registered Users Posts: 24,644 ✭✭✭✭punisher5112


    wilser wrote: »
    1 Never told us about it no. Think he had hoped/wished that it was over.
    2 didn't know what to believe tbh. But talked to others who where there.
    3 yep, he won't be mixing with them again
    4 serious action is being taken, but it is just that he is not eating or sleeping much since the weekend, it is affecting his school work and I am worried about him tbh. He has given us the other lads name and we had it confirmed by another person who was there.
    Am not sure why he was the one that was confronted by the guards.

    Go down the station tonight or call and arrange to meet with gaurd.

    Get it over with.


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    #5
    seamus
    Registered Users Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    Bring him down to the station, reassure him that all he has to do is tell the truth and everything is fine. You will be there with him, he's not going to be interrogated in a blank room on his own like on TV. He is not going to get a criminal record or anything like that.

    When my brother was 16, the guards appeared at the door one day asking to talk to him and my parents. A complaint had been made that he threw a bag of empty cans into a garden around the corner.

    Turned out that one of his mates had done it, and when caught by the homeowner gave my brother's name :rolleyes:

    Teenagers are idiots. I wouldn't get too stressed out about this, except to make sure that he knows in future to come to you and talk to you when something like this happens. And that "friends" who'll give your name to get themselves out of trouble, are not friends at all.


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