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removing disruptive aggressive housemate

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245

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    #32
    KevinCavan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 612 ✭✭✭KevinCavan


    She probably wants to get you out of the apartment and to choose the next tenant if I know this type of character. I know of a girl like her, who started off as a co-signer of the lease, but now has this top dog status in her flat with the letting agency after clearing out many different housemates over the years. It’s a bit of a control thing, now she gets to pick and choose any tenants moving in, with this “super bitch” status. By the way she has the best room in the house by now. Your Spanish housemate probably wants similar privileges.


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    #33
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    I wouldn’t recommend emulating her behaviour. It’s important to keep the high ground. Make a log of her behaviour and convince your housemate to back you up so that it’s not her word against yours. Just don’t stoop to her level.


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    #34
    Mrs OBumble
    Registered Users Posts: 25,945 ✭✭✭✭Mrs OBumble


    Zander1983 wrote: »
    But if one housemate repeatedly breaches lease rules isnt it for the estate agency to deal with then? She:

    1/ acts aggressively
    2/ has moved her boyfriend in
    3/ refuses to secure the premises
    4/ refuses to share bills

    The only bit the agent might be interested in is the refusal to secure the premises. But they are more likely to address it by installing a security lock than anything else.

    Slight chance they may care about the overnight guest - but only if the owner has been particular about number of occupants (lots aren't).

    Acting aggressively isn't illegal (unless you're actually threatening to kill) - and it's culturally determined anyways: what you experience as aggressive is likely merely assertive in her world.

    And sharing bills won't be in the lease either.


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    #35
    CityGirl123
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭CityGirl123


    Lived with a Spanish housemate before. She was crazy. If everything wasn't perfect in the house she'd throw a fit. And when Spaniards get angry, they get very angry. Never again! You could try mediation at the RTB and try to come to a compromise.


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    #36
    4ensic15
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,691 ✭✭✭4ensic15


    CityGirl123 wrote: »
    Lived with a Spanish housemate before. She was crazy. If everything wasn't perfect in the house she'd throw a fit. And when Spaniards get angry, they get very angry. Never again! You could try mediation at the RTB and try to come to a compromise.

    Mediation at the RTB is for disputes between tenants and landlords, not for co-tenants between each other.


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    #37
    CityGirl123
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭CityGirl123


    4ensic15 wrote: »
    Mediation at the RTB is for disputes between tenants and landlords, not for co-tenants between each other.

    Had a friend who was having trouble with her housemate. She told the landlord what was going on. The landlord and my friend took a case against the other tenant and they went for mediation at the RTB and they came to an agreement. It is possible to go the RTB as a tenant having problems with another tenant, as long as you have the backing of the landlord or the landlords representative to take the case.


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    #38
    ED E
    Registered Users Posts: 36,167 ✭✭✭✭ED E


    If you become a total nightmare for the EA they just have to document the boyfriend living there then give you all notice. Bye bye. Ciao.

    Its a letters market, the EA can get a pair of junior doctors in who'll spend the entire time working or asleep and never hear a peep from them. Tread really effin carefully.


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    #39
    NasserShammaz
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 886 ✭✭✭NasserShammaz


    Shallow Grave (1994) - IMDb

    Just for inspiration


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    #40
    Alpha_zero
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 907 ✭✭✭Alpha_zero


    Seems like you need to avoid her or fight fire with fire. Deliberately do things to irk her as by your own admission you knew what she was like before you moved in.


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    #41
    Alpha_zero
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 907 ✭✭✭Alpha_zero


    ronoc wrote: »
    If she is going crazy over an open window imagine how bad it could get if you try force her out.

    Life is too short to be dealing with this nonsense. Cut your losses and move.

    Life is not really that short if you taken into account the average life expectancy for male and females in first world country, which is approximately over 80 years.

    How the hell is that considered short. Life is about dealing with these sorts of people sadly and running away isn't going to get you far.


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    #42
    Alpha_zero
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 907 ✭✭✭Alpha_zero


    You have tried to get her kicked out by reporting her to the management company who have likely heard the same complaints before, and you documenting everything happening is proof of nothing.

    You need to be more assertive and stand your ground, begin to confront her about issues you have. You need to show her you will not be cowed. Also if your are a person who spends time in your room you can organise your time so you don't meet as much in common area's better for stress free time to yourself.

    Don't be afraid to confront her about any issues you have about her, and don't do it meekly.

    How do you accidentally use her cup though, considering you knew what she was like prior to moving in? It seems like an easy rule to adhere to.

    She is making your life intolerable you just need to find a way to do the same for her, this may not necessarily be achieved by acting in the same way as her.


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    #43
    TimeToShine
    Registered Users Posts: 4,881 ✭✭✭TimeToShine


    467 euro a month? She's trying to get you out and move her pals in, there are tonnes of Spaniards in Dublin looking and this house seems to fit the bill.

    Either fight fire with fire or get out. Insane drama to the Irish is everyday life to the Spanish, they have a more confrontational culture and it'll stress the crap out of you unless you are willing to play ball.


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    #44
    the_syco
    Registered Users Posts: 37,300 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    Zander1983 wrote: »
    From the gardai or can i go to my solicitor?
    Talk to your solicitor about what evidence is accepted against her, to be warned by the police?
    Zander1983 wrote: »
    and then sent vicious whatsapp messages this morning. Hard to ignore that.
    Keep all of those messages. Video her threatening you.

    Then report her to the Gardai.


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    #45
    cruizer101
    Registered Users Posts: 3,205 ✭✭✭cruizer101


    Zander1983 wrote: »
    Hi
    EDIT

    I spoke to the estate agency and they said she has complained about me and we both have very different stories

    Show them the whatsapp messages from her.
    Also you really need to get the other housemate on board with trying to remove her.


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    #46
    Gwen Cooper
    Registered Users Posts: 719 ✭✭✭Gwen Cooper


    Zander1983 wrote: »
    Hi

    I spoke to the estate agency and they said she has complained about me and we both have very different stories

    Did they tell you what her story is?


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    #47
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    cruizer101 wrote: »
    Show them the whatsapp messages from her.
    Also you really need to get the other housemate on board with trying to remove her.

    This is key.

    Stooping to her level will only give the crazy wagon ammunition. Getting the other housemate on side is what needs to happen, especially as the disruptive housemate has been telling stories about you, OP.


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    #48
    JoeyJJ
    Registered Users Posts: 3,663 ✭✭✭JoeyJJ


    Surely the wall mount goes against rules of house also?


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    #49
    Zander1983
    Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭Zander1983


    I have decided to move out - the stress got too much.

    But of course she is making this as hard as possible for me. Also, the house is 1400 to rent so we were all paying 467. But she has advertised the room at 550 and is presumably dropping her own rent. Does that break any leasing rules?


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    #50
    WhiteMemento9
    Registered Users Posts: 1,573 ✭✭✭WhiteMemento9


    Zander1983 wrote: »
    I have decided to move out - the stress got too much.

    But of course she is making this as hard as possible for me. Also, the house is 1400 to rent so we were all paying 467. But she has advertised the room at 550 and is presumably dropping her own rent. Does that break any leasing rules?

    Who cares? You will be much happier if you just move out, move on and just forget the whole ordeal and her. Starting some revenge plot only takes up your time and emotion. People who are ***** generally are deeply unhappy anyway so leave her to it.


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    #51
    Zander1983
    Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭Zander1983


    WhiteMemento9 wrote: »
    Who cares? You will be much happier if you just move out, move on and just forget the whole ordeal and her. Starting some revenge plot only takes up your time and emotion. People who are ***** generally are deeply unhappy anyway so leave her to it.

    Well she's refusing to pay me my deposit back as i didn't give a months notice, i gave a week as had to get out of there. Also, when I moved in, i threw the old bed in the shed as it was probably about 20 years old and the mattress was actually a health hazard - it was disgusting. I bought a new one for 450 euro. I want to sell this to whoever moves in for 400 (I only bought a couple of months ago) as they will need a bed. She's saying this isnt going to happen and is insisting i put the 20 year old bed back in the room and take the new bed I bought with me. This means I have to find storage, get a moving lorry, and the new tenant has to sleep on a bed that's grotesque.

    Im wondering is her increasing the rent against some rules as I'd like something to use to leverage her into acting reasonably and returning my deposit.


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    #52
    TimeToShine
    Registered Users Posts: 4,881 ✭✭✭TimeToShine


    Jesus what a bitch. Agree with the above, get out and move on.


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    #53
    Zander1983
    Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭Zander1983


    TimeToShine wrote: »
    Jesus what a bitch. Agree with the above, get out and move on.

    Agreed


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    #54
    Zander1983
    Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭Zander1983


    TimeToShine wrote: »
    Jesus what a bitch. Agree with the above, get out and move on.

    Yeah i will so, not worth the hassle.


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    #55
    miamee
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Regional East Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 12,211 Mod ✭✭✭✭miamee


    Could you sell your new bed before you move and have the buyer come and collect it?


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    #56
    Zander1983
    Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭Zander1983


    miamee wrote: »
    Could you sell your new bed before you move and have the buyer come and collect it?

    Most likely ill get a moving company to bring it to my new place and i'll squeeze it into my new room and store it there. Might as well keep it for when I eventually buy a house


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    #57
    road_high
    Registered Users Posts: 19,413 ✭✭✭✭road_high


    Zander1983 wrote: »
    Most likely ill get a moving company to bring it to my new place and i'll squeeze it into my new room and store it there. Might as well keep it for when I eventually buy a house

    Keep it/bring it with if at all possible. Any friend with a van or jeep that could help move it for you? Avoid any situations potentially involving her as chances are you'll never see your money or bed again.


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    #58
    Zander1983
    Registered Users Posts: 149 ✭✭Zander1983


    road_high wrote: »
    Keep it/bring it with if at all possible. Any friend with a van or jeep that could help move it for you? Avoid any situations potentially involving her as chances are you'll never see your money or bed again.

    I dont no, so ill get a removals company. Yeah i'll just leave it and forget about deposit, its too exhausting dealing with people this horrible.


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    #59
    Doop
    Registered Users Posts: 1,470 ✭✭✭Doop


    Do you owe any money for rent or bills you could keep back in lieu of your deposit?

    If someone else moves in straight away (quite likely) then there really is no loss to her therefore no reason to keep the deposit? Maybe have viewings take place before you leave with the idea that the change over takes place on the same day?


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    #60
    Doop
    Registered Users Posts: 1,470 ✭✭✭Doop


    Dont forget you can transfer your TV licence to your new place :D


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    #61
    Alpha_zero
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 907 ✭✭✭Alpha_zero


    You have no leverage as you have cowed to her every whims and dealt with this is meek and timid manner.
    The idea you could use anything as leverage is just wishful thinking.

    Moving out without putting up any fight or resistance.


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