Girlfriend doing stupid things that bug the crap out of me

BrokenArrows

OP its probably a "straw that broke the camels back" scenario.

No individual incident is enough to be an issue but constant little things can be far worse than one big issue that you can just deal with.

Sleepy

Leave her OP. If her being an idiot is doing your head in after 2 years when you haven't even been living together, you'll murder her within a year of living with her.

spaceHopper

I grew up in the country we never locked our back door except when we went out or at night. My mother drilled into me take the keys with you when you leave the car....

Look this girl is not going to change there is no point telling her off. You need to decide if she's for you. What happens if you break up. Is it a small area / town

FTA69

I'm scatty. I always forget to lock the back door after leaving the cat out, although I've resolved not to do it again - mainly because my partner blew up at me massively about it and it finally drilled it into me. I've often left stuff on buses and in pubs and restaurants too. Some people's brains are just wired like that. However it can change. I used to always leave my keys in the house, but after a night waiting in the cold I've never done it again.

My ex was from rural Cork and when we came to London would always roll her eyes when I lectured her about being alert and minding her phone. One handbag lost to a junkie in Camden and one snatched phone later and she was all about keeping her eyes open.

I can see how it drives people mad, but if this is her only flaw then you can work on it? However if this is colouring everything else in your relationship then maybe deeper issues are at work?

Big Nasty

Record her doing stupid stuff
Upload it to YouTube
Profit

ConnyMcDavid

If she wasn't your partner and was a close friend, would you feel safe enough to leave your child in their company? (if you do/ plan on having a kid in the future).

It would be a deal breaker for me.

bilbot79

The car thing is off the Richter scale of stupidity. I totally see where you're coming from

zapper55

I think you should talk to her honestly about how much it wrecks your head, that you don't know if you are a future because of it.

I don't think this current situation is good for either of you. I'd be like you in that it'd drive me mad and actually really annoy me and jesus life is too short to be constantly annoyed by your partner. From her perspective I'm sure she doesn't love you bringing it up all the time ( because it sounds like this is a daily thing).

KevinCavan

Emme wrote: »

OP is this recent or has it being going on since you first started dating? Brain fog/forgetfulness could indicate an illness such as underactive thyroid. It might be no harm to encourage her to go to her GP for a check up.

Or she might be pregnant - some women get forgetful when they are pregnant.

You could be stuck with her if she has your sprog.

Ursus Horribilis

If she's forgetful and ditsy by nature, then all the talking in the world isn't going to change her. As the saying goes, the problem with common sense is that it's not very common. The man my relative is married to would wreck many people's heads, I think. I don't know what he's like when it comes to locking the house but I've seen numerous other things that'd put me off. Everything from nearly having a chip pan fire in the kitchen because he forgot that he was cooking chips to forgetting to collect the kids from school. These are only some examples of what I know - I'm sure his wife and family could furnish you with a much longer list.

We can all be forgetful and have lapses at time but what you're describing is something much worse. If it was me, I'd be cutting my losses. But this is your relationship. You need to decide whether you're OK with spending your life with someone as unreliable as this.

Esse85

What sort of upbringing has she had?

Was she spoilt and had everything handed to her?

kaji

She sounds like such an idiot. I couldn't stick that for long. I house-shared with a girl and she kept leaving the house unlocked when she went out. It did my head in. I left in the end cos it was stressing me out so much. She would also throw all her rubbish from her car into the recycling bin- stuff that wasn't recyclable and with food still in it etc. Sick. Those small things build up and it can begin to affect you eventually. Some people are just as thick as two short planks.

Eric Cartman

KevinCavan wrote: »

You could be stuck with her if she has your sprog.

if she'll forget to take the keys out of a car at a petrol station , forgetting the pill etc.. isn't that out there.

Plopsu

She left he belongings unsupervised and accessible where they could be stolen - careless and/or naïve
She left her engine running while she went to have something to eat - wasteful
She left her car blocking a pump while she went to get something to eat - thoughtless/arrogant/selfish

If careless, wasteful and selfish are on your 'must have' list, then stick around. Otherwise, time to start disengaging.

JeffKenna

How was the car running at the petrol station... I thought you had to turn off the engine before filling up? Sounds dangerous.

Calibos

Time to call it a day OP.

I could never live with someone like that as it is but add kids into the equation and I'd be a nervous wreck every day they were in her charge. Imagine not just losing a child but likely blaming the mother of your child for the rest of your life even if it wasn't her fault because 'maybe she didn't tell me everything'. Or even just the stress of knowing the kids where in her charge most of the week after the courts award her majority custody after a breakup.

I'd be calling it a day anyway.

facehugger99

huggy15 wrote: »

just today she left her house before me and went into town. i pulled up at the local petrol station to get a coffee from the shop beside it before i went up to my own house and i seen her car at the pumps. i thought nothing of it but seen when i was leaving that the wipers were on. i walked over and realised it was running, keys in the ignition, her phone laying on the driver seat and her bag laying on the passenger seat.

There's ditsy and there's stupid.

The above is stupid.

I personally wouldn't want to have kids with someone this stupid - there's too big a chance of them turning out stupid too.

Unless of course she's incredibly hot and amazing in bed, in which case I could probably forgive her.

Selfheal

In all seriousness, perhaps you might suggest to her that she be assessed for adult ADHD?