Bullying at Primary School

Hesthea

My child is 10yo. She is in the 4th class and she is being bullied by the same girl since the 3rd class.

Before that she was bullied by other kids. Told her to tell them to stop. To tell the teacher and to always tell me what was happening. Nothing worked. Then i told her to kick him where it hurts the most. She did it and the school called me. Explained the situation. They told me they knew nothing about it. My kid cried her eyes out saying that she told them but they did nothing. She was coming bruised and with her hands and knees wounded from being pushed to the ground. Told them to do something about it or i would. Things calmed down for a bit and then started all over again.

I went to school. My kid pointed out the boy who was bullying her. I said "Hi. I am her mother" and he run away. Never bullied her again. This all happened during 2014/2015.

Its 2018 and she got bullied right on the 1st day of school by a classmate. Fortunately, (or unfortunately) a teacher saw what happened and said she would talk with the kid in question. She stopped.

Now there is another girl bullying my kid. Also from her class which happens to be friends of the previous bully. This girl as been bullying my child since last year. And i have found out today that this as been dragging itself for quite a long time. The reason is that the teachers never see what the bully does to my child. They always mess with her when no one is looking while my kid reacts to them immediately and everyone sees what she does but not what the bullies do.

My child is very vocal and kind of naive. Other kids will hurt her with words or physically, or simply oust her out. She always believes in what they tell her. Reason why they also make fun of her.

The problem is that today when i went to pick her up, the bully harassed my child right in front of me. She rushed through us and bumped into her aggressively thrice. She told the girl that she hurt her and to be careful. The bully started to mock her and my daughter became upset and stressed. I told her to let it go and we kept moving while holding her hand.

2nd time she pretends she is fixing her shoes and gets behind us again. To avoid her bumping into us i walked very close to my kid and once again she rushed though us and deliberately bumped against my kid, hurting her once more and wrecking her umbrella. I told her to stop that because bullying is wrong.

She became verbally aggressive and even threatened me and my child while she and the other 2 girls (one of them was really tiny) who were with her made fun of my child. This happened a few meters away from school. They were wearing the school sports tracking suit.

This lasted a few 5 minutes until we reached the crosswalk. My kid got very upset and wouldn't stop crying with all their mocking, bumping, threats, verbal insults and she even said she would tell everyone how mean and bad my child was to everyone in school. Even the smallest child that was with them was always calling my kid "Paki Girl" (Pakistan Girl) non stop. That is pure racism. I have no other description for that. The kid was probably in Junior Class. As a mother i have never felt so impotent in my whole life.

I took my phone out and when the oldest realized that, warned the instigator who seemed to calm down a notch. When they asked me what i was doing i told them i was taking photos. They tried to hide their faces but then they started again with threats and the mocking. I started to cross the road with my child and the instigator once again bumped against my child.

I am going to talk with the teacher tomorrow. Dunno if this will solve anything though.

Is there anything else i can do to stop this?
I'm at loss to be honest.

I was bullied a lot when i was a kid and i do not want my child to go through the same as me. Especially, when people are always preaching about anti bullying rules and stuff and end up doing nothing.

I can't do anything to the kids for obvious reasons but how can i protect my child?
Who protects us from vicious kids like those?

v638sg7k1a92bx

Hesthea wrote: »

My child is 10yo. She is in the 4th class and she is being bullied by the same girl since the 3rd class.

Before that she was bullied by other kids. Told her to tell them to stop. To tell the teacher and to always tell me what was happening. Nothing worked. Then i told her to kick him where it hurts the most. She did it and the school called me. Explained the situation. They told me they knew nothing about it. My kid cried her eyes out saying that she told them but they did nothing. She was coming bruised and with her hands and knees wounded from being pushed to the ground. Told them to do something about it or i would. Things calmed down for a bit and then started all over again.

I went to school. My kid pointed out the boy who was bullying her. I said "Hi. I am her mother" and he run away. Never bullied her again. This all happened during 2014/2015.

Its 2018 and she got bullied right on the 1st day of school by a classmate. Fortunately, (or unfortunately) a teacher saw what happened and said she would talk with the kid in question. She stopped.

Now there is another girl bullying my kid. Also from her class which happens to be friends of the previous bully. This girl as been bullying my child since last year. And i have found out today that this as been dragging itself for quite a long time. The reason is that the teachers never see what the bully does to my child. They always mess with her when no one is looking while my kid reacts to them immediately and everyone sees what she does but not what the bullies do.

My child is very vocal and kind of naive. Other kids will hurt her with words or physically, or simply oust her out. She always believes in what they tell her. Reason why they also make fun of her.

The problem is that today when i went to pick her up, the bully harassed my child right in front of me. She rushed through us and bumped into her aggressively thrice. She told the girl that she hurt her and to be careful. The bully started to mock her and my daughter became upset and stressed. I told her to let it go and we kept moving while holding her hand.

2nd time she pretends she is fixing her shoes and gets behind us again. To avoid her bumping into us i walked very close to my kid and once again she rushed though us and deliberately bumped against my kid, hurting her once more and wrecking her umbrella. I told her to stop that because bullying is wrong.

She became verbally aggressive and even threatened me and my child while she and the other 2 girls (one of them was really tiny) who were with her made fun of my child. This happened a few meters away from school. They were wearing the school sports tracking suit.

This lasted a few 5 minutes until we reached the crosswalk. My kid got very upset and wouldn't stop crying with all their mocking, bumping, threats, verbal insults and she even said she would tell everyone how mean and bad my child was to everyone in school. Even the smallest child that was with them was always calling my kid "Paki Girl" (Pakistan Girl) non stop. That is pure racism. I have no other description for that. The kid was probably in Junior Class. As a mother i have never felt so impotent in my whole life.

I took my phone out and when the oldest realized that, warned the instigator who seemed to calm down a notch. When they asked me what i was doing i told them i was taking photos. They tried to hide their faces but then they started again with threats and the mocking. I started to cross the road with my child and the instigator once again bumped against my child.

I am going to talk with the teacher tomorrow. Dunno if this will solve anything though.

Is there anything else i can do to stop this?
I'm at loss to be honest.

I was bullied a lot when i was a kid and i do not want my child to go through the same as me. Especially, when people are always preaching about anti bullying rules and stuff and end up doing nothing.

I can't do anything to the kids for obvious reasons but how can i protect my child?
Who protects us from vicious kids like those?

Bullying happens in primary school, many people think it doesn't and that the kids are too young to bully but it does. School management tends not to acknowledge bullying in primary schools or they try and and pass it off as either your child is shy, emotional etc or that the kids are just playing.

Write down what happened, include the slur and exactly what was said. Be as detailed as possible but keep to the point. Make bullet points rather than write a long winded essay.

You should email the principal reporting the incident and that you like to make an appointment with them as a matter of urgency. Explain that you reported the bullying to the teacher however the problem has persisted and you want the matter to be escalated and that you will take it with the the Board of Management (BOM) and Department of Education and Skills (DES) if the matter is not resolved. Explain that your daughter has a right to an education without the fear or racial abuse and harassment and that the school has a duty of care to your daughter in this regard.
The principal will probably try to resolve the matter as they ultimately report to the BOM. I would also consider not bringing your daughter to school on Monday until you meet with the principal, at that meeting you want to get assurances that this is going to be resolved and that it is safe for you daughter to attend school. After your meeting with the principal, make sure you write down what was said during the meeting (bullet points) and consider emailing the minutes of the meeting to the principal outlining what was agreed.
You should also consider approaching the parents of the bully's and tell them what is happening. Text them if needs be so they can't deny that they were unaware of the bullying.

Best of luck.

Hesthea

Lyanna Icy Bamboo wrote: »

Bullying happens in primary school, many people think it doesn't and that the kids are too young to bully but it does. School management tends not to acknowledge bullying in primary schools or they try and and pass it off as either your child is shy, emotional etc or that the kids are just playing.

Write down what happened, include the slur and exactly what was said. Be as detailed as possible but keep to the point. Make bullet points rather than write a long winded essay.

You should email the principal reporting the incident and that you like to make an appointment with them as a matter of urgency. Explain that you reported the bullying to the teacher however the problem has persisted and you want the matter to be escalated and that you will take it with the the Board of Management (BOM) and Department of Education and Skills (DES) if the matter is not resolved. Explain that your daughter has a right to an education without the fear or racial abuse and harassment and that the school has a duty of care to your daughter in this regard.
The principal will probably try to resolve the matter as they ultimately report to the BOM. I would also consider not bringing your daughter to school on Monday until you meet with the principal, at that meeting you want to get assurances that this is going to be resolved and that it is safe for you daughter to attend school. After your meeting with the principal, make sure you write down what was said during the meeting (bullet points) and consider emailing the minutes of the meeting to the principal outlining what was agreed.
You should also consider approaching the parents of the bully's and tell them what is happening. Text them if needs be so they can't deny that they were unaware of the bullying.

Best of luck.

Thank you for your advice, Lyanna Icy Bamboo.
Wish i had seen it sooner.
I couldn't sleep due to what happened so i ended up taking my child to school really early in order to speak with her teacher. Which i did. I told her all that had happened the previous day and she said it was too serious of a case to be dealt by her and that i would have to talk with the school principal. She explained the situation to her and then she met me.

Once again i explained to the Principal what happened. What the kids did. What they said to my child and me. The threats. At the end, after she took her notes she told me she would speak with the girls and with her mother. I informed her that i would like to talk with the kids mother regarding what was happening too.

She told me to meet her again at 14h15 at the school and so i did.
She informed me that she talked with the kids and that they confirmed what had happened: The bumping, the threat, the racist slur, the mocking. The principal didn't enumerate everything that i said though but to be honest i thought they would deny everything. And that the 3 of them were sisters. Soon after the mother of the kids arrived. She apologized for the incident and i told her that it should be her kids apologizing and not her after all, all that situation must be hard on her too. (At least, that is what i think.) The Principal excused the older one saying that she couldn't control the middle sister - the instigator/ main bully - To which i answered that that wasn't a reason for her to participate in the bullying too by hurting my child by making fun of her alongside the others.

The conversation ended with the principal saying that such thing wouldn't repeat itself and that the kid wouldn't be going home by herself anymore. To which i replied that the main problem was what was happening at school. What happened outside of school was an extension of what was happening inside of it.

The mother once again said she was sorry.

Regarding the kid threatening me saying that her mother would brake my face, she said - The principal - that "as you can see her mother isn't a person to do such a thing" with a smile in her face as if dismissing the gravity of such. I didn't like it. I replied that that is not something that should be said much less by a kid to an adult or to any other person.

No mention of suspension or expulsion from school. Nothing in which they would have to take responsibility for their actions at all. I said nothing about it.
Nothing would be done to the kids who bullied my child and verbally abused and threatened me except having someone with them while going home so that "something like this wouldn't happen again" and a forced "i'm sorry" from their mouths to my child.

I told them that what happened could never happen again. Be it with my child or any other child. The mother said that it wouldn't.

Now, i am hoping both school and the mother of the kids will keep their word.

I am not pleased but for the sake of my child i will let it go and move on so that my child can move on from this too.

Thank you for having the time to read it and i will save this post for future advice in case i come to need it. I just hope not.

v638sg7k1a92bx

Hesthea wrote: »

Thank you for your advice, Tickers.
Wish i had seen it sooner.
I couldn't sleep due to what happened so i ended up taking my child to school really early in order to speak with her teacher. Which i did. I told her all that had happened the previous day and she said it was too serious of a case to be dealt by her and that i would have to talk with the school principal. She explained the situation to her and then she met me.

Once again i explained to the Principal what happened. What the kids did. What they said to my child and me. The threats. At the end, after she took her notes she told me she would speak with the girls and with her mother. I informed her that i would like to talk with the kids mother regarding what was happening too.

She told me to meet her again at 14h15 at the school and so i did.
She informed me that she talked with the kids and that they confirmed what had happened: The bumping, the threat, the racist slur, the mocking. The principal didn't enumerate everything that i said though but to be honest i thought they would deny everything. And that the 3 of them were sisters. Soon after the mother of the kids arrived. She apologized for the incident and i told her that it should be her kids apologizing and not her after all, all that situation must be hard on her too. (At least, that is what i think.) The Principal excused the older one saying that she couldn't control the middle sister - the instigator/ main bully - To which i answered that that wasn't a reason for her to participate in the bullying too by hurting my child by making fun of her alongside the others.

The conversation ended with the principal saying that such thing wouldn't repeat itself and that the kid wouldn't be going home by herself anymore. To which i replied that the main problem was what was happening at school. What happened outside of school was an extension of what was happening inside of it.

The mother once again said she was sorry.

Regarding the kid threatening me saying that her mother would brake my face, she said - The principal - that "as you can see her mother isn't a person to do such a thing" with a smile in her face as if dismissing the gravity of such. I didn't like it. I replied that that is not something that should be said much less by a kid to an adult or to any other person.

No mention of suspension or expulsion from school. Nothing in which they would have to take responsibility for their actions at all. I said nothing about it.
Nothing would be done to the kids who bullied my child and verbally abused and threatened me except having someone with them while going home so that "something like this wouldn't happen again" and a forced "i'm sorry" from their mouths to my child.

I told them that what happened could never happen again. Be it with my child or any other child. The mother said that it wouldn't.

Now, i am hoping both school and the mother of the kids will keep their word.

I am not pleased but for the sake of my child i will let it go and move on so that my child can move on from this too.

Thank you for having the time to read it and i will save this post for future advice in case i come to need it. I just hope not.

Sounds like you got a good response from the school and they're taking it seriously. No harm in writing everything down anyway, even if you are not going to send it but as time passes you will forget some of the details and you may need to refer back to them.

I hope everything works out.