Toddler suddenly terrified of bath

Lemonposset

We had this with no.2 at about 1.5 years old. He got a quick bath every night and then one night out of the blue became hysterical, there was no obvious trigger. His brother was in the bath too so not too hot etc. Took a few weeks of constant reassurance and letting him stand, usually clinging to us. We did persist with the baths but let him take it at his own pace until he seemed to get over whatever had set him off. He's totally back to normal now, throwing water all over his face, and me!

Toots

Digs wrote: »

This is concerning me actually. I tried to get a look at her bum afterwards and it’s a bit red, she’s not too happy being inspected though. I had to use microlax ennemas last week so I think she’s afraid. I’m bringing her back to the GP Monday re the constipation so will ask her to check there isn’t a fissure there or something after her having such a hard time of it.

She was referred to Crumlin re the constipation (which is more or less going on since birth!) and they’ve refused to see her stating its “normal” and advising on certain meds which the GP had tried. So frustrating for us, not to mention her, poor kiddo.

If it's bad enough that you needed microlax then she could very well have a little fissure in the skin in her anus. My son had the same at age 6 and as soon as the water touched it he nearly hit the roof, it stung so much. We basically had to do sponge baths until it was better.

Digs

Toots wrote: »

If it's bad enough that you needed microlax then she could very well have a little fissure in the skin in her anus. My son had the same at age 6 and as soon as the water touched it he nearly hit the roof, it stung so much. We basically had to do sponge baths until it was better.

Oh god I feel totally crappy now, she must be really scared of it hurting I didn’t twig it at the time. I used microlax after the bath issue started but it was because she hadn’t gone in 7 days after a particularly bad poo (the one that caused the haemorrhoid) so between the bath and getting upset at having her nappy changed she must be sore.

Lemonposset- thank you! Whatever the trigger is it is a relief to know others have experienced the same and time and patience might resolve it.

iamwhoiam

Don't despair . You know your little girl best and have her back . It is definitely worth trying lactose free for a while
Some kids get diarrhoea from it but a good percentage get constipation .
A fissure can be so stingy and sore so you might need to consider it as her trigger .
If you know anyone going to UK or NI try to get Metanium cream . It is a wonderful nappy area healer .

Digs

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Don't despair . You know your little girl best and have her back . It is definitely worth trying lactose free for a while
Some kids get diarrhoea from it but a good percentage get constipation .
A fissure can be so stingy and sore so you might need to consider it as her trigger .
If you know anyone going to UK or NI try to get Metanium cream . It is a wonderful nappy area healer .

Thanks so much! I’ll try source that cream and commit to the lactose free and see what happens. It has to be one of the most frustrating aspects of parenting, not being able to figure things like this out for them. Really appreciate the suggestions!

shesty

Digs, I know someone who visited a reflexologist as their child had a very severe problem with some unidentified food allergy causing terrible rashes, almost to the point of them being gangrenous or going septic (seriously).I am not sure what was done but they discovered to source of the issue and removed it from the diet for a year.If you're not 100% sure on the lactose (although if your eldest had it, it would probably be likely, wouldn't it??), maybe something like that is a route to consider???

Neyite

Have you a basin? Fill that in the bath, let her stand in it and sponge her down with a soft sponge. She'll be clean enough with that, she's only two. Having the fear after soreness takes some time for them to get over.

When the fear fades a bit, you can gradually add a bit of water to the bath or let her hold the shower hose to do her hair

Digs

We tried the baby bath in the bath last night and no difference unfortunately. She just ended up washing her dolls in it.

Returned to the doctor this morning who confirmed she has a fissure and gave me cream for it. She said she’s not a bit surprised about the bath so at least we know that’s what it is. Back on movical. She explained as she’s had ongoing constipation for so long her bowel is stretched now so she can hold it longer thus creating a vicious circle of constipation. So she needs to be on the movical to make her go more regularly and shrink it back down.

We’re going to keep her a part of the normal bath routine Wednesday and Saturday. Encourage her to get in and continue to just sponge her down quickly as we have been doing. I’ve been quickly doing her hair every other bath. I’m not so much concerned about her getting a good wash as I am in keeping a good relationship with bathtime open so we’re aware now it’ll just take time and a lot of patience which is totally fine. I’m having a bath tonight myself so I’ll encourage her to hop in with me.

Shesty - that poor kid, omg!! Totally interested in holistic though so thanks for the recommendation. The movical will fix the problem but I’d rather get to the root of it

Thanks all for the replies and suggestions!

Neyite

Digs, when the movicol starts working and then a poo chart for her can make it a bit more fun and helps remind her that the one the day before didn't hurt and not to withhold and so on. There's a few books - "poo goes to pooland" is one I know of.

We found that us parents would be on top of it for a few weeks but then we would forget to check with each other when the last movement was so would end up being already a few days back into constipation again. We have a whiteboard where we draw a poo emoji on the days but I'm sure you could get poo emoji stickers. It's a visual prompt for us so I know if he's not done one in the morning (im gone before he wakes up) then I get him up stairs to try in the evening. Our lad wont do a poo in school or at the childminders. It has to be one specific toilet in our house that he goes to and that's what was leading to him holding it in and getting backed up.

You'll find there's one food or drink that works well in stimulating the bowel. Orange juice works in our house. Smoothies are a good way of getting fruit and fibre into them but be wary that fruit juices on her fissure might sting until that's healed.

It's surprisingly common. Our creche worker said that pretty much all toddlers go through constipation to some degree when they start potty training so be aware that it might rear up for you again down the line when she's coming out of nappies for you.

Digs

The poo chart is a great idea thanks Neyite, she's definitely at the stage where involvement with something like that would appeal to her. There is great excitment in the house when a poo is done, everyone clapping and screehing like lunatics!! I actually have a log of every single poo she has done since 9th March on my phone :eek: it is a very short list unfortunately but I wanted to have it to keep a record of things. This is ongoing since she was 2 weeks old and a breastfed baby at that so it was unusual. Which is why we (and the GP) are quite frustrated Crumlin wouldn't see her, to rule out even a tiny possibilty of something physiological going on. So the GP has referred her to Tallaght to see if they're any better.

Over the course of two years we've had brief periods where something foodwise seems to work (very briefly) and then it stops. Until recently she would literally just go days in between poos but would grunt and get it done whereas in recent weeks she gets very upset as it's clearly sore. I also don't think she's actually withholding, she's certainly afraid in recent weeks but what the GP said about her bowel being stretched makes sense, she just doesn't get the urge to go that often. When she does now it's huge I definitely think potty training is going to be an issue for her. There have been times where we have literally had to hold her bum cheeks back in an effort to help her get the poo out.....and who said parenting wasn't glam?

I genuinely do feel like I've tried every food, fruit, seed, juice etc under the sun since we've weaned her. Adding stuff, removing stuff, it's quite exhausting and the guilt and pressure I've felt that it is something I'm either giving her or not giving and can't figure out drives me nuts. Movicol was a disaster last time as she won't drink juice of any kind and could taste it in her water so refused but I'm just going to have to try and persevere this time. One thing I've never given them is the ribena type juices so if needs be I'll try her with those.

Neyite

Forgot another tip: getting her to blow bubbles when she needs to do a bowel movement. Something to do with the action of exhaling helps the sphincter muscles relax I think.



But it's a great distraction for a kid that age as well.

mirrorwall14

Oh and you are probably doing it but heels up on the toilet seat makes it easier to poop for my lad. I used to use his step stool like a squatty potty and he copied but couldn’t reach the stool lol

will56

Digs wrote: »

Thanks so much! I’ll try source that cream and commit to the lactose free and see what happens. It has to be one of the most frustrating aspects of parenting, not being able to figure things like this out for them. Really appreciate the suggestions!

The cream is available online, we ordered it from Amazon for our DD when she had bad nappy rash. Clears it up in a couple of days, really is amazing stuff

shesty

Digs, I actually know a number of BF babies who normally wouldn't poo for anything up three weeks!!!My own youngest would be one I'd say, only he had a bottle every evening....it all came out during the bottle.It's a lot more common than you realise but obviously at toddler stage it is a problem.Here's hoping you get some sort of answer soon.

ChewChew

Digs, we had similar here. I feel for you all as it's quiet tough and hard not to feel guilty. I have some metanium cream here, I can post you some if you wish, it's no trouble!!
Movicol is still working for us and we've not had any difficulty and the bath is back on track as being a favourite (She also went through a hating stage). Would she go in the bath with a pair of knickers on or even a swimming pool nappy??

GreeBo

Can you just use baby wipes to keep her clean until the fissure is healed, if you remove the whole idea of a bath for her for a couple of weeks she might just forget all about the pain, whereas if you keep trying it will keep reinforcing it.

Just wipe her down while the other one is in the bath and she might actually want to get in and play after a few weeks anyway.

For the constipation getting her to lie on her back while you bicycle her legs can help to get things moving also (similar to squatting)
Our little one suffers a bit and I find that bringing her feet up to her face helps her to "bear down" a bit and usually gets things moving.

best of luck!

Digs

ChewChew wrote: »

Digs, we had similar here. I feel for you all as it's quiet tough and hard not to feel guilty. I have some metanium cream here, I can post you some if you wish, it's no trouble!!
Movicol is still working for us and we've not had any difficulty and the bath is back on track as being a favourite (She also went through a hating stage). Would she go in the bath with a pair of knickers on or even a swimming pool nappy??

That is seriously kind of you thanks a million, I managed to source some and my sister in law is picking it up for me though so I should have it tomorrow! I really am comforted to hear you have a handle on your little ones problem so thanks for sharing. Do you mind me asking how you managed to get her to take the movicol in the first place or is my lady just being difficult? I didn't think of putting her in even in her nappy! She doesn't like her nappy coming off since the fissure appeared, even for a wee change, I think she's afraid of her bum being wiped full stop so maybe having something on her bum going in might calm her.

GreeBo wrote: »

Can you just use baby wipes to keep her clean until the fissure is healed, if you remove the whole idea of a bath for her for a couple of weeks she might just forget all about the pain, whereas if you keep trying it will keep reinforcing it.

Just wipe her down while the other one is in the bath and she might actually want to get in and play after a few weeks anyway.

For the constipation getting her to lie on her back while you bicycle her legs can help to get things moving also (similar to squatting)
Our little one suffers a bit and I find that bringing her feet up to her face helps her to "bear down" a bit and usually gets things moving.

best of luck!

Thank you! When she does get the urge to go this is what we have to do, she manages somehow to get the main bit out but it's so big we have to take the nappy off and pull her legs up so she can get it all out (sorry!!!). Our main issue is increasing the frequency so she is going more often and not holding onto so much of it to get rid of at one time. Hopefully the movicol will sort that out.

Lemonposset

Metanium is the business, we get some at every opportunity, why is it not available in Ireland! I've only ever used it for nappy rash but it's like magic. Just in case you don't know, it stings when it goes on first so your daughter may not appreciate it initially. You only need a tiny bit, a whole tube lasts us forever. It stains horribly so be careful what you let her sit on after!

Digs

My husband hopped in in his trunks last night with them (easier for him then me with the bump!!). She did the usual beforehand, screamed the house down, ran away from us etc
Once she got in with him and sat on his lap (we made sure her bum was touching the water) she realised it didn’t hurt and completely calmed down. Washed her dolls and tolerated it for about 5-10 mins before demanding to get out! So hopefully it’ll just be a case of being patient and she’ll gradually get more comfortable with it. It was an enormous improvement on the previous few weeks though.

The movicol is starting to work and she’s due back to the doctor in a month so hopefully we’re on the right path. Thanks to everyone for your advice!

TheValeyard

Hey OP,

I had this until very recently.


Baths were fun and games, then all of a sudden it turned into WW3 one night.

Tried showers, tried sink, nothing worked.

What we did was was him next to the bath with his water toys in reach. Kinda like a quick wet wash standing on towels. He puts hands in the water, played with toys, bubbles etc. While we washed him with cloth.


Did this for couple of weeks and eventually he just got back into the bath.