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Who's single?

  • 13-10-2018 6:20pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 710 ✭✭✭


    I don't live in Ireland anymore, but returned recently for a spate of weddings, one friend got engaged while I was there, and I noticed that I got asked approximately 531 times why I was single, or if I had a fella yet, or if "I'd be next" *wink wink*

    I don't think I've ever had that many questions or that much curiosity about my love life in such a short time period, I live abroad and while a lot of people are married or coupled up, there's a strong percentage of single/divorced/not arsed dating folks in pretty much all walks of life over here too.

    I'm 33, female and a total ride, obviously. I broke up with a long-term ex about a year ago and am far too fragile to consider new relationships just yet...but all the same, harbour notions about returning home in a year or two and finding some miraculously gorgeous Irish man who was equally unlucky in the love stakes (until I walk in, obv)

    So general essay about my life story aside - are you single? And what age are you? And if so, why?

    ETA: how does one add a poll around here?

    I am... 382 votes

    Married
    16% 63 votes
    Long-term coupled up
    37% 142 votes
    In something new
    33% 127 votes
    It's complicated
    7% 28 votes
    Totes single omg lol
    5% 22 votes


«134567

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,832 ✭✭✭✭TheValeyard


    So, you're single and want to hop on a poll?

    All eyes on Kursk. Slava Ukraini.



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 710 ✭✭✭ginandtonicsky


    YAY FOR PENIS JOKES!!!!!!!!!1!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 710 ✭✭✭ginandtonicsky


    Figured out the poll in any case.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 19,802 ✭✭✭✭suicide_circus


    dear men,

    stop taking the most fertile years of a woman's life and then dumping them in their mid thirties.

    regards
    the future


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,750 ✭✭✭Avatar MIA


    Figured out the poll in any case.

    Congrats on the baby step. Now just figure out your life.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 710 ✭✭✭ginandtonicsky


    dear men,

    stop taking the most fertile years of a woman's life and then dumping them in their mid thirties.

    regards
    the future

    I did the dumping actually, and I'm still in my early 30s.
    Thanks for the concern though :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,689 ✭✭✭Signore Fancy Pants


    Cat lyfe 4 u bbz.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 710 ✭✭✭ginandtonicsky


    Avatar MIA wrote: »
    Congrats on the baby step. Now just figure out your life.

    That seems quite nasty.
    Is it really necessary?


  • Posts: 17,728 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    OP..... thank you for this post. I am incredibly fond of a lady who is just out of a relationship and your fragile comment has helped me appreciate things from her viewpoint....

    ....anyway, if you're happy ish currently your relationship status is much like today's weather...largely out if your control and there's always better days ahead :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,034 ✭✭✭Ficheall


    Does making individual posters' poll options hidden not defeat the point of the thread?


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,265 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    Augeo wrote: »
    OP..... thank you for this post. I am incredibly fond of a lady who is just out of a relationship and your fragile comment has helped me appreciate things from her viewpoint....

    ....anyway, if you're happy ish currently your relationship status is much like today's weather...largely out if your control and there's always better days ahead :)

    You haven't a hope


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 ✭✭✭Roger Hassenforder


    Nothing worse than hooking up with a bird just out of a relationship with a black lad.

    You wont even touch the sides.


  • Registered Users Posts: 9,849 ✭✭✭buried


    I don't live in Ireland anymore, but returned recently for a spate of weddings, one friend got engaged while I was there, and I noticed that I got asked approximately 531 times why I was single, or if I had a fella yet, or if "I'd be next" *wink wink*

    I don't think I've ever had that many questions or that much curiosity about my love life in such a short time period

    Thats because you were at a hape of weddings. Weddings are the realm of the interfering nosey $hithead. It's open season for those twats at them cursed things to be nose'n, interfering and thinking they can look down at everybody else because for over 10 hours you are literally trapped in the same venue with this sort of total $hithead.
    Weddngs can f**k off

    "You have disgraced yourselves again" - W. B. Yeats



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 28,918 ✭✭✭✭looksee


    There isn't a 'none of the above' option.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,026 ✭✭✭grindle


    Single, got broke up with a year ago after a traumatising holiday - I'd say she wanted to leave beforehand but figured upping the levels of stress on a fortnight-long holiday I'd pissed a few grand away on would be preferable.
    Very glad we broke up as it was something I'd been thinking of for the previous two years ("...maybe things will get better...") but was fairly astonished at the level of disrespect when she didn't get in contact on hearing of my father's death in the meantime - when we broke up she was very "We'll be friends forever, we just need time to heal!".
    No contact around dad's death = I don't think of you as human any more. I hope she gets a serious dose of the scour, never feels relief from the lethargy of her hypothyroidism & I hope her anxiety and depression continue to spiral out of control until something awful happens.

    Yes, I hold grudges.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,091 ✭✭✭Antar Bolaeisk


    I'm working with people around my age who are grandparents! Every time I come back to work I get asked if I'm married yet. Having to head back for multiple weddings this year as well (why can't they just hold them all on the one date in one mass wedding orgy) so getting it on both sides!


  • Registered Users Posts: 614 ✭✭✭notsoyoungwan


    I’m a 39 year old woman, happily single. Have an FB meaning I get my (ahem) needs met but don’t have any hassle. I have no interest in a committed relationship.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    I'm 32 and never had a girlfriend and never....

    Well we wont go into too much detail.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,265 ✭✭✭✭Ash.J.Williams


    I’m a 39 year old woman, happily single. Have an FB meaning I get my (ahem) needs met but don’t have any hassle. I have no interest in a committed relationship.

    Fit bit?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,423 ✭✭✭✭Outlaw Pete


    Baba O'Riley.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,338 ✭✭✭✭Potential-Monke


    35 and willingly single for the last 4 or 5 years. Watching other people my age mad to get married and have kids, and when that happens I take glee in their tired faces, because that's a situation they put themselves in. The idea of getting married, having kids and a mortgage is now hell to me. I dislike children (used to say hate, but apparently that's too strong a word when it comes to kids). It's not even kids i don't like, it's babies, and toddlers. Once they can tell you why they're crying, that starts me thinking maybe I'm missing out, but then I remind myself of babies and toddlers and that thought is immediately replaced with 'joyous single life!'.

    Thankfully, the age for having kids and getting married is rising, so that at least people are starting to realise that enjoying your 20s before confirming to societal expectations is the way to go. Plus, lots more people these days totally against the idea of family life.

    What I would be interested in now is a part-time relationship. I think spending too much time together is what kills relationships, certainly killed my last one (7 years, 6 spent living apart, 1 together...). Granted, you'll always have those weirdos who genuinely love to spend every waking second together, but they're few and far between imo. I don't know if I'll ever find what I want, but I'd love a relationship where you spend no more than 3 days a week together, live apart, have your own life with your own circle of friends, doing things with them that the two of you don't enjoy together (ie: I hate concerts, especially the mainstream crap that most people like, so she could head off with her friends to that, I'll do my thing), and then spending the few days together each week doing what you like to do together!

    Plus, I'm a gamer, and even though more and more women are starting to embrace this, very few around my age do, and people still call me a child because of it (and the fact that i'm currently addicted to Anime). I get looked down on because of this, and I really don't care anymore, because I can remind myself that I'm enjoying living these lives in worlds they will never experience while they sit at home and watch brain rot and eye cancer (soaps, reality tv, etc).

    I reckon I'll die a bachelor, but right now, i'm 100% ok with that, because the added stress of a relationship is something I can do without right now. Also, considering I have 4 siblings all with kids, 2 (possibly 3) of which would not have them again if they could start over (they love them, etc, etc). My best friend caved to his missus after 9 years (5 married) to having kids, even though when they got married neither of them ever wanted them, but she got broody when her sister had a kid. I can see the stress it's causing him, and it's partly his own fault for caving, but a hard situation to be in. He's a fantastic father, and loves his kids wholeheartedly, but if he could go back, he would have divorced her before having them again.

    People still think that the family life with a mortgage, kids and pets is the done thing. People need to stop following what everyone else is doing and live their own life. But, unless you conform to the societal expectations, expect all this mollix of 'When you getting married?', 'when you having kids?', etc. Even my own parents are starting to see the method to my madness, and nearly agree with me. I'm currently living with them, as it suits both them and me, and I can give back to them in their golden years what they gave me when I was young. People look down on that too for some reason.

    OP, giz a shout when you're looking, maybe we can come to some agreement. I'm obviously a stunner myself too, so you'd never know what could work! :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 610 ✭✭✭Cutie 3.14


    I’m a 39 year old woman, happily single. Have an FB meaning I get my (ahem) needs met but don’t have any hassle. I have no interest in a committed relationship.

    Yeah I think this is the way I'm going to go, just out of a relationship that put me through the ringer.

    Just to get some dick every now and again and not have to listen to some fella nagging at me , wanting to know where I am and who I'm with, yet cant return the courtesy to let me know what hes up to, commenting on my weight and clothes, staring at every single womans arse that comes within a mile radius of him. Fook off.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭mvl


    dear men,

    stop taking the most fertile years of a woman's life and then dumping them in their mid thirties.

    regards
    the future

    - this made me smile; but guess it can be heart-breaking when dumping is done with no child support, or before the planned wedding is due :)

    btw: poll might be missing few non-conventional statuses (e.g. where ppl are involved with more than one individual) - or does that go under "in something new"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,572 ✭✭✭Micky 32


    Cutie 3.14 wrote: »
    Yeah I think this is the way I'm going to go, just out of a relationship that put me through the ringer.

    Just to get some dick every now and again and not have to listen to some fella nagging at me , wanting to know where I am and who I'm with, yet cant return the courtesy to let me know what hes up to, commenting on my weight and clothes, staring at every single womans arse that comes within a mile radius of him. Fook off.


    You ever stare at another mans arse or whatever during a relationship, not even once??


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 118 ✭✭QuintusFabius


    I’m a 39 year old woman, happily single. Have an FB meaning I get my (ahem) needs met but don’t have any hassle. I have no interest in a committed relationship.

    I understood this as FaceBook account :D:D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,572 ✭✭✭Micky 32


    I understood this as FaceBook account :D:D


    Well it could, i got the ride from a random friend request one time :D


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,480 ✭✭✭bloodless_coup


    ETA?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 701 ✭✭✭lonewolf1961


    35 and willingly single for the last 4 or 5 years. Watching other people my age mad to get married and have kids, and when that happens I take glee in their tired faces, because that's a situation they put themselves in. The idea of getting married, having kids and a mortgage is now hell to me. I dislike children (used to say hate, but apparently that's too strong a word when it comes to kids). It's not even kids i don't like, it's babies, and toddlers. Once they can tell you why they're crying, that starts me thinking maybe I'm missing out, but then I remind myself of babies and toddlers and that thought is immediately replaced with 'joyous single life!'.

    Thankfully, the age for having kids and getting married is rising, so that at least people are starting to realise that enjoying your 20s before confirming to societal expectations is the way to go. Plus, lots more people these days totally against the idea of family life.  

    What I would be interested in now is a part-time relationship. I think spending too much time together is what kills relationships, certainly killed my last one (7 years, 6 spent living apart, 1 together...). Granted, you'll always have those weirdos who genuinely love to spend every waking second together, but they're few and far between imo. I don't know if I'll ever find what I want, but I'd love a relationship where you spend no more than 3 days a week together, live apart, have your own life with your own circle of friends, doing things with them that the two of you don't enjoy together (ie: I hate concerts, especially the mainstream crap that most people like, so she could head off with her friends to that, I'll do my thing), and then spending the few days together each week doing what you like to do together!

    Plus, I'm a gamer, and even though more and more women are starting to embrace this, very few around my age do, and people still call me a child because of it (and the fact that i'm currently addicted to Anime). I get looked down on because of this, and I really don't care anymore, because I can remind myself that I'm enjoying living these lives in worlds they will never experience while they sit at home and watch brain rot and eye cancer (soaps, reality tv, etc).

    I reckon I'll die a bachelor, but right now, i'm 100% ok with that, because the added stress of a relationship is something I can do without right now. Also, considering I have 4 siblings all with kids, 2 (possibly 3) of which would not have them again if they could start over (they love them, etc, etc). My best friend caved to his missus after 9 years (5 married) to having kids, even though when they got married neither of them ever wanted them, but she got broody when her sister had a kid. I can see the stress it's causing him, and it's partly his own fault for caving, but a hard situation to be in. He's a fantastic father, and loves his kids wholeheartedly, but if he could go back, he would have divorced her before having them again.

    People still think that the family life with a mortgage, kids and pets is the done thing. People need to stop following what everyone else is doing and live their own life. But, unless you conform to the societal expectations, expect all this mollix of 'When you getting married?', 'when you having kids?', etc. Even my own parents are starting to see the method to my madness, and nearly agree with me. I'm currently living with them, as it suits both them and me, and I can give back to them in their golden years what they gave me when I was young. People look down on that too for some reason.

    OP, giz a shout when you're looking, maybe we can come to some agreement. I'm obviously a stunner myself too, so you'd never know what could work! :D
    Cutie 3.14 wrote: »
    I’m a 39 year old woman, happily single. Have an FB meaning I get my (ahem) needs met but don’t have any hassle. I have no interest in a committed relationship.

    Yeah I think this is the way I'm going to go, just out of a relationship that put me through the ringer.

    Just to get some dick every now and again and not have to listen to some fella nagging at me , wanting to know where I am and who I'm with, yet cant return the courtesy to let me know what hes up to, commenting on my weight and clothes, staring at every single womans arse that comes within a mile radius of him. Fook off.
    LOL ...


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,315 ✭✭✭nthclare


    Totally single, silver fox with a beard and tattoos...

    Used to be clean cut and last year I went rugged...

    I'm one of those guy's at the opposite end of the scale, determined to be single for the foreseeable future but have the odd fling.

    No problems getting dates etc,but waiting until my son's finished studies until I decide to go looking for a lifetime partner.

    He's my priority for now, down around a hundred euros a week, paying his maintenance and giving him pocket money for the gym and his social life.

    Paying my bills and mortgage is my priority, he's nearly 18, so I'm quite content single....


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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    How common is it do you think to still be a virgin in your 30s in Ireland?

    Given that people waiting longer to get married, have children etc and even a recent study in the UK shows a record number of under 25's are non drinkers. So its a 'safer' generation.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,495 ✭✭✭✭eviltwin


    In a relationship 23 years, married a while back. Drives me mad at times but I wouldn't have it any other way. I don't think I'm cut out for the single life.


  • Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    nthclare wrote: »
    Totally single, silver fox with a beard and tattoos...

    Used to be clean cut and last year I went rugged...

    Pm sent! :pac:


  • Registered Users Posts: 7,055 ✭✭✭JohnnyFlash


    Just over a year single after an unhappy 20 year marriage to a complete demon of a woman. Not looking for anything serious at the moment, but sure you never know what might happen.

    Love going out now for a few pints, and to chat up women in the smoking area of whatever pub I’m in. Getting the ride a fair bit as a result, so that’s keeping that box ticked. Hope to meet some gamey bird with a naughty glint in her eye later tonight. Back to her place so she can have a good ride on the auld baloney pony.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 701 ✭✭✭lonewolf1961


    Just over a year single after an unhappy 20 year marriage to a complete demon of a woman. Not looking for anything serious at the moment, but sure you never know what might happen.

    Love going out now for a few pints, and to chat up women in the smoking area of whatever pub I’m in. Getting the ride a fair bit as a result, so that’s keeping that box ticked. Hope to meet some gamey bird with a naughty glint in her eye later tonight. Back to her place so she can have a good ride on the auld baloney pony.
    LOL ......


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 701 ✭✭✭lonewolf1961


    Just over a year single after an unhappy 20 year marriage to a complete demon of a woman. Not looking for anything serious at the moment, but sure you never know what might happen. Love going out now for a few pints, and to chat up women in the smoking area of whatever pub I’m in. Getting the ride a fair bit as a result, so that’s keeping that box ticked. Hope to meet some gamey bird with a naughty glint in her eye later tonight. Back to her place so she can have a good ride on the auld baloney pony.
    LOL ......


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,193 ✭✭✭Eircom_Sucks


    37 single 4 years after a bad 7 year thing , only positive was 2 gorgeous kids

    Women seem put off that i have 2 kids

    Id rather be single and have my 2 kids that with some insufferable bint who causes nothing but drama


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭mvl


    I understood this as FaceBook account :D:D

    think FWB was supposed to be used ...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 778 ✭✭✭Jack Moore


    dear men,

    stop taking the most fertile years of a woman's life and then dumping them in their mid thirties.

    regards
    the future

    Dear generalisation
    Men or women or black or white or whatever grouping or generalisation you define people is not ok

    Ok ?


  • Registered Users Posts: 614 ✭✭✭notsoyoungwan


    I’m a 39 year old woman, happily single. Have an FB meaning I get my (ahem) needs met but don’t have any hassle. I have no interest in a committed relationship.
    I understood this as FaceBook account :D:D
    mvl wrote: »
    think FWB was supposed to be used ...

    Nope, I intended to post ‘FB’, as in fcuk buddy. There’s a difference between FBs and FWBs, and I very deliberately chose FB in my post.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,722 ✭✭✭posturingpat


    Single for about 8 years and intend keeping it that way for the foreseeable.
    Relationships are a serious bit of effort that I just don't want to give.
    Only pain in the arse is like the op family and friends at weddings asking when I'm going to settle down. Hard not to say piss off.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭mvl


    Nope, I intended to post ‘FB’, as in fcuk buddy. There’s a difference between FBs and FWBs, and I very deliberately chose FB in my post.

    eh - for me FB would remain Facebook too :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 614 ✭✭✭notsoyoungwan


    mvl wrote: »
    eh - for me FB would remain Facebook too :)

    Maybe you need to expand your horizon a bit...! :pac:


  • Registered Users Posts: 610 ✭✭✭Cutie 3.14


    Micky 32 wrote: »
    You ever stare at another mans arse or whatever during a relationship, not even once??

    Arse, no. Arms, yes.

    I don't mind men looking but you haven't met my ex....

    Edit: I don't stare. He took staring to a whole other level


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,903 ✭✭✭micar


    39 and single 10 years. Hitting 40 next month.

    Previously in a 3.5 year relationship. No way was I ever going to marry her.

    Would love to find someone and have a few kids.

    On tinder and pof.....not really working out.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,193 ✭✭✭Eircom_Sucks


    micar wrote: »
    39 and single 10 years. Hitting 40 next month.

    Previously in a 3.5 year relationship. No way was I ever going to marry her.

    Would love to find someone and have a few kids.

    On tinder and pof.....not really working out.

    Nothing but **** on them sites

    100 % about looks not actually wether you are a decent person or genuine etc

    Should try speeddating , least you get to see em face to face and see what happens


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭mvl


    Maybe you need to expand your horizon a bit...! :pac:
    - it's cause my wiring would accept FWB, and wouldn't go near a FB in your meaning.
    but each with own needs :)


  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,174 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Cutie 3.14 wrote: »
    Yeah I think this is the way I'm going to go, just out of a relationship that put me through the ringer.

    Just to get some dick every now and again and not have to listen to some fella nagging at me , wanting to know where I am and who I'm with, yet cant return the courtesy to let me know what hes up to, commenting on my weight and clothes, staring at every single womans arse that comes within a mile radius of him. Fook off.
    Kinda the same from the other direction C. My short term relationships were for the most part grand, even good. My long termers on the other hand... It's not a gender thing as I have and have had women friends who were and are bloody brilliant. Really add to my life and I hope I add to theirs. But long term romantic entanglements... Whole different ball game. Some different switch is thrown*. Hell, I've seen it with the same women mates. As friends you truly couldn't ask for better, but Jesus how they were with partners was something else. Not always extreme, but pretty much all on a sliding scale of this is shite I don't need in my life. That low level vying for control thing going on for a start. No doubt men do this too, I dunno, I don't shag blokes. Though bi women I know and have known have told me that generally speaking men are easier on a day to day basis. Less dramatics in general, though apparently much more likely to go silent. And if they are controlling again generally way worse on that score.
    eviltwin wrote: »
    I don't think I'm cut out for the single life.
    I reckon that's it ET. Most people to some capacity or other are more suited to being in a couple, others, a minority, just aren't. At least not for long. I've long come to terms with the fact I'm in the latter group. I would reckon men need to be "domesticated" early on in life. Old dog, new tricks, not, in my case. Or I have really bad judgement when it comes to who I'm attracted to. That and love turns me into a thundering moron. Well more thundering than usual anyway. To be avoided.



    *a woman mate of mine reckons it's because if you're shagging the stakes are much higher. You could end up with a kid and that makes couples more on edge and more edgy in their dealings.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,010 ✭✭✭La.de.da


    micar wrote: »
    39 and single 10 years. Hitting 40 next month.

    Previously in a 3.5 year relationship. No way was I ever going to marry her.

    Would love to find someone and have a few kids.

    On tinder and pof.....not really working out.

    I've had nothing but heart and headaches from those sites.
    They seem to be a lot of people looking to fill their ego.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,193 ✭✭✭Eircom_Sucks


    La.de.da wrote: »
    I've had nothing but heart and headaches from those sites.
    They seem to be a lot of people looking to fill their ego.

    Exactly


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,028 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    Single woman ,late 40's, happy out!


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