2020 Bride/Groom

alicantra123

Hi all,

I'm in a similar boat and had postponed from April 2020 to October 2020. I am going to go ahead in October even if it can only be a small thing, but it has been very difficult trying to negotiate this with the venue. Can I ask for people who have decided not to postpone and to just go ahead with something small, how did you manage this with the venue? We have 25% cancellation at this point so no matter what we do it will cost about 3,500e. I would love to completely forego the venue and have a lovely small reception perhaps in a restaurant for that money but it feels like I don't have a choice at this stage. I understand where the venue is coming from, but if we can't have anything that we agreed when we first signed the contracts (different reception room, smaller numbers, socially distanced dancefloor etc.) it seems very unfair that we would lose our deposit plus extra is we cancel?

I really would love to hear form anyone who is in a similar position and how they are negotiating it?

woodchuck

alicantra123 wrote: »

Can I ask for people who have decided not to postpone and to just go ahead with something small, how did you manage this with the venue? We have 25% cancellation at this point so no matter what we do it will cost about 3,500e. I would love to completely forego the venue and have a lovely small reception perhaps in a restaurant for that money but it feels like I don't have a choice at this stage. I understand where the venue is coming from, but if we can't have anything that we agreed when we first signed the contracts (different reception room, smaller numbers, socially distanced dancefloor etc.) it seems very unfair that we would lose our deposit plus extra is we cancel?

Our venue told us that they would tie us to the minimum number/spend in our contract (it's below the governments recommendation of 100 for the next phase). We didn't push them too hard on this though, just asked the question. We decided to postpone in the end and this was just one of many reasons. I hated the idea of feeling ripped off, as we anticipated that we'd have nearly half the number we originally planned (loads living abroad or in a vulnerable category). So the cost per head would've nearly doubled. And like that, for what you'd feel is a somewhat substandard day (socially distancing etc). We briefly considered going to a different venue, but we'd be losing the deposit and we had other reasons to postpone anyway.

If it's the deciding factor for you though, I'd try and reason with the venue as much as possible. Get them on the phone instead of by email, so that you can have a proper conversation with them. If they won't reduce the minimum numbers/spend, see if maybe they'd be willing to throw in a few freebies instead. If they get the impression that you're willing to move venues, maybe they'll do what they can to keep your wedding there. But tbh, I wouldn't expect a whole lot. They're all down a lot of money the past few months and with weddings officially able to proceed now, I think they're within their rights to hold you to the contract.

redmond08

Our wedding was meant to be late March, then it got pushed to mid July & now it's September. We had guest numbers around 150 & were hoping that number would be allowed, but last week was a big blow. I think we're going to go ahead whatever the numbers are & maybe have a party later on down the line. But our venue did say that the Irish Hotels Federation is fighting with the government to have it done by the venue size. So for example, our venue can usual hold I think around 250, but with social distancing it can hold around 180.

lisasimpson

Hi there
We were meant to be May and moved to October. When we moved the date at the end of march we got a new contract. A month ago they asked us to sign a new one and sent it back. Before we signed i contacted the venue about the minimum and how we had changed from a peak day to a midweek day.
We got a small reduction in the rate per head and they changes min of 150 to 120 people. They also included the line..subject 120 was subject to government restrictions. So msybe ask your venue for an updated contract to reflect your new date and go from their

We are still go ahead even if its just immediate family as this uncertainty is going to be around well into next year and we just want to get on with our lives. For me the wedding is something thats hanging over us and thats not how you should feel about your wedding
We will prob loose money as our contract required a percentage payment at 9, 6 &3 months all of which we hit before the covid mayhem

customrifle

lisasimpson wrote: »

Hi there
We were meant to be May and moved to October. When we moved the date at the end of march we got a new contract. A month ago they asked us to sign a new one and sent it back. Before we signed i contacted the venue about the minimum and how we had changed from a peak day to a midweek day.
We got a small reduction in the rate per head and they changes min of 150 to 120 people. They also included the line..subject 120 was subject to government restrictions. So msybe ask your venue for an updated contract to reflect your new date and go from their

We are still go ahead even if its just immediate family as this uncertainty is going to be around well into next year and we just want to get on with our lives. For me the wedding is something thats hanging over us and thats not how you should feel about your wedding
We will prob loose money as our contract required a percentage payment at 9, 6 &3 months all of which we hit before the covid mayhem

We are the same, so just have our final payment with the venue having made the other 3 deposits as we went. Also initially we didn't want to have the stress of having to pay different suppliers on the day so paid them all in full at the start, as I say to herself "shur it ll be grand". I think if I say it enough I'll believe it too. All our suppliers have agreed to a alternative date next October but that does feel like a world away at this stage and with all the uncertainty going forward I think the stresses of another year waiting and not knowing how things will be then would be extremely tough on couples. Roll on September and fingers crossed.
On a side note if venues are limited to 50 for indoor gatherings at the moment how does it work when you have large hotels having double that sitting for their dinners like I witnessed while out for lunch on Sunday. Surely if they can safely distance their customers for small groups for dinner they can do it for a combined group of the same numbers

woodchuck

customrifle wrote: »

On a side note if venues are limited to 50 for indoor gatherings at the moment how does it work when you have large hotels having double that sitting for their dinners like I witnessed while out for lunch on Sunday. Surely if they can safely distance their customers for small groups for dinner they can do it for a combined group of the same numbers

I've heard a lot of people making this argument, but there's a big difference between just having a meal at a restaurant vs a wedding.

If you go to a meal at a restaurant, you're with your small group (all of whom are probably already in your close contact group) for max 1hr 45mins. If the restaurants are doings things correctly, they'll have all the tables properly spaced out and/or perspex between the tables. Naturally there won't be mixing between the tables, as you're very unlikely to know anyone at the other tables. You risk getting close to other diners very briefly as you leave/enter the restaurant or go to/from the toilets, but that's about it really.

A wedding is a whole different matter though. It's not just a sit down meal for 1hr 45min with one very small group. As we all know, a wedding typically it lasts the whole day, including a drinks reception in the afternoon for a couple of hours and dancing after the meal until the wee hours. And even during the meal people usually don't stick to their own tables, they'll drop by their friends/relatives at other tables for the chats. The venues can put up as many signs etc as they're required, but at the end of the day we all know that social distancing is likely to fly out the window for a lot of people at a wedding, especially when there's drink involved. So you now have up to 50 close contacts after attending a wedding instead of just say 4 if you were purely going to a restaurant for a meal.

It's all about reducing the number of close contacts. That's my take on it anyway.

cant26

Has anyone who got married recently applied for a marriage cert? Do you know if the local births, deaths and marriages offices are open?

Got married in February and didn’t bother getting the certificate but now need it for a mortgage application and online is telling me 20 working days!!!
Don’t have time for that, I’m wondering if the local office would do it straight away the way they give you birth certificates straight away.

Pen Rua

cant26 wrote: »

Has anyone who got married recently applied for a marriage cert? Do you know if the local births, deaths and marriages offices are open?

Got married in February and didn’t bother getting the certificate but now need it for a mortgage application and online is telling me 20 working days!!!
Don’t have time for that, I’m wondering if the local office would do it straight away the way they give you birth certificates straight away.

Cork City - short answer, yes. I visited in person and was able to get them in a couple of minutes. They let me know that in future, you can ring and ask for them. You can then collect, or have them posted to you. Of course, arrangements may vary by office.

cant26

Pen Rua wrote: »

Cork City - short answer, yes. I visited in person and was able to get them in a couple of minutes. They let me know that in future, you can ring and ask for them. You can then collect, or have them posted to you. Of course, arrangements may vary by office.

Perfect will try our local office tomorrow. 20 working days is madness!!

Pen Rua

cant26 wrote: »

Perfect will try our local office tomorrow. 20 working days is madness!!

They quoted you 20 working days to arrange a cert?! Wow! Perhaps it's because I went in so close to closing time that they just wanted to deal with me and get me out. One lady took the details, whilst another logged those details for contact tracing whilst a third was pulling up the cert on the computer as I was speaking. Efficiency...!

yourdeadwright

Anyone getting married this month or September ?

I have friends due to get married in the middle of September and they still have no idea how many they can invite,

I fell terrible for anyone in the situation currently

ilovesmybrick

yourdeadwright wrote: »

Anyone getting married this month or September ?

I have friends due to get married in the middle of September and they still have no idea how many they can invite,

I fell terrible for anyone in the situation currently

Supposed to be the start of October. I think at this stage we'll cancel. The uncertainty and constantly changing rules has left us with no faith that even 100 guests will be allowed at that stage. The stress has become too much and I'm just sick of the thought of it after yesterday's announcement. We were going to send out invites this week, but there's simply no point anymore.

cazzer22

ilovesmybrick wrote: »

Supposed to be the start of October. I think at this stage we'll cancel. The uncertainty and constantly changing rules has left us with no faith that even 100 guests will be allowed at that stage. The stress has become too much and I'm just sick of the thought of it after yesterday's announcement. We were going to send out invites this week, but there's simply no point anymore.

I feel for you so much, so sorry for everyone scheduled for this year. Weddings have been totally neglected by government and not even given an ounce of consideration. So unfair.
I'm early spring next year and I'm not even sure things will be more certain by then.

customrifle

yourdeadwright wrote: »

Anyone getting married this month or September ?

I have friends due to get married in the middle of September and they still have no idea how many they can invite,

I fell terrible for anyone in the situation currently

We are the 1st of September, we sent out our invitations early July when things were looking positive so if we go ahead now we have to cut our numbers from 85 to 46 as the venue need 4 staff to get to the 50 number.
We have an alternative date for October next year but we paid our venue and suppliers in full as we went but what's the guarantee they will all still be operating next October if covid is still rampant.
I'm quite easy going and feel if this is the worst thing to happen in our married life then we are lucky but at the same time feel bad for my fiancée as I would have liked her to have her special day with close friends and family and also considering our numbers weren't big to start with.
I'm just waiting to speak with the venue today to see what their take is

yourdeadwright

cazzer22 wrote: »

I feel for you so much, so sorry for everyone scheduled for this year. Weddings have been totally neglected by government and not even given an ounce of consideration. So unfair.
I'm early spring next year and I'm not even sure things will be more certain by then.

I don't understand why they haven't actually taken weddings into consideration and tried to do something just for weddings,

Its a huge part of people life's, surely it could have been look at in isolation ?

cazzer22

yourdeadwright wrote: »

I don't understand why they haven't actually taken weddings into consideration and tried to do something just for weddings,

Its a huge part of people life's, surely it could have been look at in isolation ?

I agree, totally. They have left the whole industry in the dark. Their should have been guidelines produced just for events such as weddings. It is impossible to plan ahead (which is vital for a wedding) without information.

ilovesmybrick

yourdeadwright wrote: »

I don't understand why they haven't actually taken weddings into consideration and tried to do something just for weddings,

Its a huge part of people life's, surely it could have been look at in isolation ?

Well Martin was asked about weddings at the press conference yesterday and completely sidestepped it. I'm not overly bothered by the money that we'll lose on deposits, which is around 4 grand, I'm more annoyed at the lack of clarity. I would still be reasonably confident that by October the numbers will be raised. However, we have 60% of the venue costs due in a few weeks, and I can't fire out another 4-5,000 on a hope that the government will come up with some firm plans.

I'm really not looking forward to the conversation with our venue. They've been so nice and helpful and are a small hotel. I feel really guilty about doing this to them, but we are simply out of options and out of time.

yourdeadwright

ilovesmybrick wrote: »

Well Martin was asked about weddings at the press conference yesterday and completely sidestepped it. I'm not overly bothered by the money that we'll lose on deposits, which is around 4 grand, I'm more annoyed at the lack of clarity. I would still be reasonably confident that by October the numbers will be raised. However, we have 60% of the venue costs due in a few weeks, and I can't fire out another 4-5,000 on a hope that the government will come up with some firm plans.

I'm really not looking forward to the conversation with our venue. They've been so nice and helpful and are a small hotel. I feel really guilty about doing this to them, but we are simply out of options and out of time.

Martin in his short few weeks seems like a disaster ,
At least Leo seem to have some what of a handle of things and even if he didn't was better at spoofing ,

I think its crazy they haven't address weddings ,

woodchuck

yourdeadwright wrote: »

I don't understand why they haven't actually taken weddings into consideration and tried to do something just for weddings,

Its a huge part of people life's, surely it could have been look at in isolation ?

I think the problem is that you can't do something just for weddings. From a safety perspective, the virus obviously doesn't distinguish between weddings, confirmations, birthday parties etc... the risks are all the same. I assume that's why their guidance simply refers to "indoor gatherings" as opposed to specific events. How can you say that a wedding is safe, but a communion for example isn't.

That's not to say they shouldn't provide clearer guidance for organised indoor gatherings though. I wonder if they've considered numbers based on the size of venues. But again, any updates in that regard would naturally apply to all indoor gatherings, not just weddings.

They seem to be leaving it up to the venues to come up with their own rules and different places seem to be taking very different approaches. I've postponed to next year, but when I last spoke to my own venue, they seemed pretty lax apart from the numbers. Whereas I've a friend who's venue is talking about colour coding each table, giving everyone at the table a sticker to wear and you have to stick with that group on the day and dancing in that coloured circle on the dancefloor!!

lisasimpson

ilovesmybrick wrote: »

Supposed to be the start of October. I think at this stage we'll cancel. The uncertainty and constantly changing rules has left us with no faith that even 100 guests will be allowed at that stage. The stress has become too much and I'm just sick of the thought of it after yesterday's announcement. We were going to send out invites this week, but there's simply no point anymore.

Our re arranged date is october original date was back in May. Spent a lot of yesterday crying which didnt happen earlier in the summer. we had hope at the beginning of july and gone now. Probably going with a cermony with immediate family only now. Its just hanging over us and im beginning to hate it now. Before yesterday we had a meeting arranged with our hotel.
.a totally different conversation we will be having with them now. I feel so sorry for those whos business relies on weddings

ilovesmybrick

lisasimpson wrote: »

Our re arranged date is october original date was back in May. Spent a lot of yesterday crying which didnt happen earlier in the summer. we had hope at the beginning of july and gone now. Probably going with a cermony with immediate family only now. Its just hanging over us and im beginning to hate it now. Before yesterday we had a meeting arranged with our hotel.
.a totally different conversation we will be having with them now. I feel so sorry for those whos business relies on weddings

I'm feeling the exact same. There have been so many little squabbles and stresses over the past few months about this damn wedding that any sense of excitement has long evaporated. It has just been a constant stress. I thought we would have been fine with October, but its just been too much to deal with now. I don't want to reschedule, I don't want to start planning it all over again, I just want the thing gone.

To be honest my preference would have always been just for a very small civil ceremony with a handful of people, I'm not one for parties or big fusses, but my OH really wanted that, and I think it's probably a bigger blow for her than myself, but I had gotten slightly caught up in it, especially as it was one thing to look forward to in this disaster of a year.

lisasimpson

O exactly we werent planning a big ff off day. Any excitment totally gone even himself is v down over it now... The new date had kept us going through march, april and may. I cant bring myself to go through it all again. I get to the stage where I feel bad about getting down about it as my OH knows someone whos in hospital getting rehab after contracting a v bad dose of covid

woodchuck

We never wanted a big event either. Our original list was about 40-50, but that grew to about 80-90 just because the venue has the space and the OH has a large circle of friends. I'd be perfectly happy to go back to the shorter list of immediate family and close friends, but the main problem for us is that our siblings are stuck abroad It just doesn't feel right without them. I really hope the travel situation improves next year. Either way, we've decided we're getting married next year though! There's only so long we're willing to wait.

Pen Rua

We're due to have our religious ceremony in October.

Our initial list was about 140.

Once COVID hit, we brought it down to about 100 by omitting people in the USA that are not close family or friends.

Over the weekend, we brought it down to 50 on the button. Our venue's advice/view is that the 50 does not include staff as they are not "part" of the gathering.

The huge issue is travel. My SO is from the USA (has been resident here for years) and her family is still in the USA. As it stands, no one can make the two week self-isolation period. There is some hope her mother can make it, but that is dependent on work.

We are at a loss of what to do. We do not know whether travel restrictions will alter (e.g. they can come in provided they test negative pre-departure and upon arrival) etc.

Naturally, we do not wish to go against the 14 day self isolation period. Under the original plan, they were due in the country 7 days before the wedding.

We have not asked any supplier about them. We are assuming that any supplier will cancel on us if we cannot verify that visitors to Ireland have done the 14 days.

It's really, really hard.

eviltwin

Would people not just go ahead with the legal part and keep the celebrations on hold until restrictions end? Just thinking of the legal protections that come with marriage. I feel for anyone stuck in this limbo, it’s a horrible thing not to know where you stand.

ilovesmybrick

eviltwin wrote: »

Would people not just go ahead with the legal part and keep the celebrations on hold until restrictions end? Just thinking of the legal protections that come with marriage. I feel for anyone stuck in this limbo, it’s a horrible thing not to know where you stand.

I think that's what we're going to do. Cancel the rest but keep the registry office booking and go for a nice meal in a restaurant afterwards. That depends on the green list though since we have the added problem of living on the continent.

woodchuck

eviltwin wrote: »

Would people not just go ahead with the legal part and keep the celebrations on hold until restrictions end? Just thinking of the legal protections that come with marriage. I feel for anyone stuck in this limbo, it’s a horrible thing not to know where you stand.

We considered this, but then we thought we'd just end up planning (and paying for) 2 weddings. If we "just" did the legal bit, we started thinking - will we still want a meal afterwards with our close friends and family? A photographer? Dress/suits, hair, make up, flowers etc. It just feels like we'd end up planning and paying for a lot of things twice. Or we wouldn't be bothered doing a bigger celebration next year if we'd already gotten married this year.

We'd prefer to do everything just once, with the legal bit and celebration on the same day. Regardless of how the day ends up next year...

And nobody knows when the restrictions will end. At the beginning of all this, so many 2020 couples postponed to 2021 thinking they'd have their "perfect day" then and all 2021 couples felt relieved that they didn't get caught up in things this year. Realistically though, this thing isn't going away any time soon. I have no doubt that Covid will be around next year and continue to impact on weddings as we once knew them. However at least by then both venues and guests will be used to this "new normal" and we can just get on with it. It's the uncertainty of 2020 that's the killer!

eviltwin

woodchuck wrote: »

We considered this, but then we thought we'd just end up planning (and paying for) 2 weddings. If we "just" did the legal bit, we started thinking - will we still want a meal afterwards with our close friends and family? A photographer? Dress/suits, hair, make up, flowers etc. It just feels like we'd end up planning and paying for a lot of things twice. Or we wouldn't be bothered doing a bigger celebration next year if we'd already gotten married this year.

We'd prefer to do everything just once, with the legal bit and celebration on the same day. Regardless of how the day ends up next year...

And nobody knows when the restrictions will end. At the beginning of all this, so many 2020 couples postponed to 2021 thinking they'd have their "perfect day" then and all 2021 couples felt relieved that they didn't get caught up in things this year. Realistically though, this thing isn't going away any time soon. I have no doubt that Covid will be around next year and continue to impact on weddings as we once knew them. However at least by then both venues and guests will be used to this "new normal" and we can just get on with it. It's the uncertainty of 2020 that's the killer!

That’s understandable. I think weddings as we knew them are gone for the foreseeable. I can’t blame people holding out in the hope they get the day they want but I think I’d it was me, for peace of mind I’d want to know I had the legal bit done and have all those protections in place. I suppose couples will have to adjust, it’s not practical to keep postponing but it’s hard to know what to do

woodchuck

eviltwin wrote: »

That’s understandable. I think weddings as we knew them are gone for the foreseeable. I can’t blame people holding out in the hope they get the day they want but I think I’d it was me, for peace of mind I’d want to know I had the legal bit done and have all those protections in place. I suppose couples will have to adjust, it’s not practical to keep postponing but it’s hard to know what to do

Yeah, we've told ourselves we'll postpone just this once (baring extreme circumstances - that seems to have a whole new definition now though :P).

We're ok with holding off the extra 8 months to get the legal bit done and celebrate in some way shape or form then too. We're also in the middle of buying a house and had a fair bit left to organise for our original wedding date in September when everything kicked off. I honestly don't think I could handle the stress of buying a house and all the last minute Covid wedding planning after the year we've had so far!!

On the up side, I've made an appointment to look at wedding bands together this weekend At least we can take our time with the bits we have left now!

blacklilly

We are due to get married at the end of this month having postponed from our original date in May.
We had a guest list of over 200 which we reduced to 88 and further reduced to 50 as the restrictions changed.

We really have kept such a positive mind frame through it all and have made so so many compromises but it’s just feels too much at this stage.

We are beyond fed up with it, we are exhausted by all the planning, changing and considerations needed when choosing who to let go from the list.

Our venue is now saying that we can only have music and bar open until 11 even though we have have exclusively booked our venue.

I just want the day over and done with now

Neyite

We didn't know whether to just do a witness only day or to postpone and honestly, once I decided to postpone I was relieved. It's impossible to plan any kind of wedding right now. Literally the night before your wedding Micheál Martin could just scupper all those carefully thought out (and paid for!) plans.


So we postponed until next summer, and if it's like this next year with all the ever changing restrictions we are just going to elope with two witnesses and be done with it.

woodchuck

blacklilly wrote: »

I just want the day over and done with now

I think most couples have this attitude now, which is a really sad way to be thinking about your wedding day I've always been very cynical about weddings, but with the amount of time effort and money that goes into the planning... you at least want to be able to look forward to and enjoy the run up to the day! Even if we all end up having a fab wedding day in the end, the whole experience has been completely tarred. It's horrible not being able to look forward to it. I'm paranoid that I'm going to wake up on the morning with a cough and have to cancel the whole bloody thing myself at the last minute.

Neyite wrote: »

Literally the night before your wedding Micheál Martin could just scupper all those carefully thought out (and paid for!) plans.

It's awful, isn't it. Even the announcement the other day that restaurants have to close by 11pm - it's not clear at all if this applies to weddings, but a lot of venues seem to be assuming it is. So now you have couples who are/were planning to go ahead in the coming weeks, not only being told that they need to cut their guest list in half, but now also in a panic about what time they need to finish up at! The roadmap seems to be have been thrown out the window and they're just making up now as they go along... how on earth can anyone plan anything atm with so much uncertainty...

ilovesmybrick

woodchuck wrote: »

The roadmap seems to be have been thrown out the window and they're just making up now as they go along... how on earth can anyone plan anything atm with so much uncertainty...

I think that's the worst part. At least with the last plan there were definitive checkpoints and dates, obviously subject to changes, but since that was scrapped there's zero indication about what may happen next, or when. It would even be nice to have something vague, like if we hit X cases per week we can look into allowing increased outdoor gatherings, or if Y happens we'll need to close restaurants. At this stage I doubt if we'll even get back just to do the legal part.

I'm living in Austria and they're following the Czechs and introducing a regional traffic light system, which changes based on the level of cases and lets you know what measures need to be reintroduced or brought back in place. It means there's a least a good indication of what's happening and what measures are going to be in place regionally. It's incredibly frustrating to see how things can be managed when a decent level of proactive planning is put in place, compared to the reactive measures coming from NPHET and Martin.

Billythekid19

blacklilly wrote: »

We are due to get married at the end of this month having postponed from our original date in May.
We had a guest list of over 200 which we reduced to 88 and further reduced to 50 as the restrictions changed.

We really have kept such a positive mind frame through it all and have made so so many compromises but it’s just feels too much at this stage.

We are beyond fed up with it, we are exhausted by all the planning, changing and considerations needed when choosing who to let go from the list.

Our venue is now saying that we can only have music and bar open until 11 even though we have have exclusively booked our venue.

I just want the day over and done with now

Was it a hotel that said the bar has to be closed by 11? Are you allowed a band?

redmond08

Me & my fiancée are getting married on the 12th of September. This will be our 3rd date! Our original number was around 150, but if it's only 50 people, we're still going ahead. We have hope that by the the 31st of August, we will have it to 100, but it's not looking good. I feel the exact same as everyone here, the excitement has gone out of it. But I always try to remember, the most important thing about the wedding is the marriage. We can all have a bigger party later on down the line!

Weepsie

I'm due to be married in November. We've postponed it however for a few months in hope rather than expectation. Our venue has been superb, really really superb. They're not taking bookings until every wedding this year is either done or rescheduled and we felt very safe when visiting.

We're still going to do the legal marriage if we can and have a small number of close friends/family for food and drinks.

We don't know where in Dublin we can actually have a ceremony for only 25-30 people though as some of the usual suspects are not doing them or are still charging as if it's a 100 person ceremony

nikpmup

Just this morning we rang our hotel and pushed back to August 2021. We have the registry office planned for this September and we'll be going for a meal in a restaurant afterwards, with about 14 friends & family. We were originally going to do the party/wedding day in April but we sent out an anonymous survey monkey to our guests, and about 25% replied that they would not attend in April. The hotel have been very flexible and thankfully our band and photographer both have availability on the new date. It is what it is. I'd rather postpone; it's just not knowing if even next August is a runner that has me worried.

woodchuck

Weepsie wrote: »

We don't know where in Dublin we can actually have a ceremony for only 25-30 people though as some of the usual suspects are not doing them or are still charging as if it's a 100 person ceremony

That was one of my (many) concerns too if we decided to just go ahead with the legal bit this year. I think it's straight forward enough if you were already booked in for the registry office, but we weren't. So there's the problem of finding a venue to actually get married and of course the extra cost associated with it.

Some ideas...
- Have you tried contacting the registry office to see if they have any slots available?
- Would a church wedding be an option for you?
- Assuming you already have a celebrant, can they give you any advice about locations where small wedding ceremonies are currently going ahead?
- If you're open to a spiritualist wedding, I've seen pictures posted recently of weddings in their Dublin office.

woodchuck

nikpmup wrote: »

Just this morning we rang our hotel and pushed back to August 2021. We have the registry office planned for this September and we'll be going for a meal in a restaurant afterwards, with about 14 friends & family. We were originally going to do the party/wedding day in April but we sent out an anonymous survey monkey to our guests, and about 25% replied that they would not attend in April. The hotel have been very flexible and thankfully our band and photographer both have availability on the new date. It is what it is. I'd rather postpone; it's just not knowing if even next August is a runner that has me worried.

Wow... April 2021? We're May 2021 Do you have a lot of guests overseas and/or in vulnerable groups?

I was thinking of an anonymous survey too when we were still on the fence about our original date in Sept 2020. It would be horrible to decide to go ahead, start getting excited again, send out invites etc only to have an even bigger dropout than you expected.

Weepsie

woodchuck wrote: »

That was one of my (many) concerns too if we decided to just go ahead with the legal bit this year. I think it's straight forward enough if you were already booked in for the registry office, but we weren't. So there's the problem of finding a venue to actually get married and of course the extra cost associated with it.

Some ideas...
- Have you tried contacting the registry office to see if they have any slots available?
- Would a church wedding be an option for you?
- Assuming you already have a celebrant, can they give you any advice about locations where small wedding ceremonies are currently going ahead?
- If you're open to a spiritualist wedding, I've seen pictures posted recently of weddings in their Dublin office.

Well consider them all. We're waiting to hear back from some places. We have a celebrant booked and all.

We'd like to avoid a church wedding anyway, there's an extra bit of gaff involved, pre course and stuff and neither of us are remotely religious.

I might look at the spiritualist place too. I'm also okay with the registry office, but thats our last option anyway and would mean not using the celebrant we really like

lisasimpson

1 thing that has really pissed me off is the 11pm thing and I blame our "influencers" and I dont mean that shower that went to Ibiza. Ive the feeling its what Leo was referring to when he said some restaurants acting like bars.. a few friends have meanted their antics. No consideration for a pandemic. Just take Limerick this weekend and the venue hoping going on with some of them and not a substantial meal to be seen at times. This is not helping the hospitality industry at all and adding to the stresses of ordinary people. Im really worried now the plug will be pulled on all weddings again

ilovesmybrick

lisasimpson wrote: »

1 thing that has really pissed me off is the 11pm thing and I blame our "influencers" and I dont mean that shower that went to Ibiza. Ive the feeling its what Leo was referring to when he said some restaurants acting like bars.. a few friends have meanted their antics. No consideration for a pandemic. Just take Limerick this weekend and the venue hoping going on with some of them and not a substantial meal to be seen at times. This is not helping the hospitality industry at all and adding to the stresses of ordinary people. Im really worried now the plug will be pulled on all weddings again

That's our fear as well. I suggested maybe seeing if there was a date available early next year, which isn't likely but for a number of reasons that's only really what would work for us in 2021. Future Mrs. Brick is of the opinion that we don't want to go through the past few months again, and I'm liable to agree. I only really suggested it because I thought she'd like the option. I'd also be afraid of people going ballistic when the pubs open. It will be a minority that do so, but I can easily see a knee kerk reaction to scenes of a few groups of people in parts of Dublin/Cork/Limerick city centres causing a complete u-turn on all bars, venues and restaurants.

lisasimpson

I really wish a few proper journalist would highlight it and show them up for what they are... a pack of freeloaders with no ****s given to anyone else

Hi Everyone, a Spring 2021 bride here. We were originally going for 2020, but because we were building our house in 2019, we decided to push our wedding out another year.
I really feel for all the couples that are stuck in limbo, it takes away the excitement of what is meant to be such a happy day.
I've a family wedding in October, and they had been so hopeful up until this recent update.

I hope no one minds if I ask this here.. Are there are any brides or grooms that are in the at risk/vulnerable category?
I would be curious to know what advice people would have for a bride or groom that is immuno compromised. I, myself, am in the at risk/vulnerable category.

nikpmup

woodchuck wrote: »

Wow... April 2021? We're May 2021 Do you have a lot of guests overseas and/or in vulnerable groups?

I was thinking of an anonymous survey too when we were still on the fence about our original date in Sept 2020. It would be horrible to decide to go ahead, start getting excited again, send out invites etc only to have an even bigger dropout than you expected.

We've both - a lot of family members abroad, and a good handful who are immunocompromised. The survey was really helpful actually, we sent it to about 2/3 of our guests and asked them to be honest as it was anonymous. It was very clear that a good chunk of our guests just wouldn't be happy going in April, and that's assuming there's a lifting of restrictions. If the restrictions remain in place I'd say a good few more would decide not to go.

eviltwin

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Hi Everyone, a Spring 2021 bride here. We were originally going for 2020, but because we were building our house in 2019, we decided to push our wedding out another year.
I really feel for all the couples that are stuck in limbo, it takes away the excitement of what is meant to be such a happy day.
I've a family wedding in October, and they had been so hopeful up until this recent update.

I hope no one minds if I ask this here.. Are there are any brides or grooms that are in the at risk/vulnerable category?
I would be curious to know what advice people would have for a bride or groom that is immuno compromised. I, myself, am in the at risk/vulnerable category.

That’s what prompted the question I asked. My husband has asthma and we have a wedding we were due to attend in March that’s been rebooked twice now. The groom is also vulnerable. My husband was saying, if it was us, we’d just get the legal bit done and forego the party because imagine if anything were to happen and you’re not next of kin. Now more than ever I think it’s important to get yourself protected for any eventuality.

alicantra123

ilovesmybrick wrote: »

Well Martin was asked about weddings at the press conference yesterday and completely sidestepped it. I'm not overly bothered by the money that we'll lose on deposits, which is around 4 grand, I'm more annoyed at the lack of clarity. I would still be reasonably confident that by October the numbers will be raised. However, we have 60% of the venue costs due in a few weeks, and I can't fire out another 4-5,000 on a hope that the government will come up with some firm plans.

I'm really not looking forward to the conversation with our venue. They've been so nice and helpful and are a small hotel. I feel really guilty about doing this to them, but we are simply out of options and out of time.

I really think you have a very strong case to renegotiate paying any more towards a deposit at this point until it's clear what your venue can provide. Although it's absolutely not their fault they can't tell you what will happen, you equally can't reasonably be expected to keep to a strict deposit timeline like that when it's still so vague what can be provided for you on the day. I think at this point the venue would be happy just to keep you interested int he date so I would think if they were being wise they would not expect or demand you to pay any more deposits at this point until much closer to the date.

I am in a similar situation myself having postponed from April to October and negotiated no more payments and a more flexible cancellation rate with my venue by making this case.

Separate to all this it's nice to read what people in a similar boat are thinking! I also was feeling positive up until I found out my venue would be imposing a 10.30pm finish up time. For me that is just trying to shoehorn a wedding into what sounds like a 95th birthday party in an old folks home. Absolute deal breaker for me. I'm going to wait til the next announcement but am leaning towards cancelling my hotel venue because I just don't think there will be the right atmosphere anytime soon. Going to start looking for small restaurant venue as an alternative. I don't want to postpone again for all the same reasons people have outlined above.

I;ll end up losing some money int he end but for me nothing would be worse than an awful wedding I don't want so I just have to suck it up. I'll be putting up a fight to get most of my money back though!

ilovesmybrick

alicantra123 wrote: »

I really think you have a very strong case to renegotiate paying any more towards a deposit at this point until it's clear what your venue can provide. Although it's absolutely not their fault they can't tell you what will happen, you equally can't reasonably be expected to keep to a strict deposit timeline like that when it's still so vague what can be provided for you on the day. I think at this point the venue would be happy just to keep you interested int he date so I would think if they were being wise they would not expect or demand you to pay any more deposits at this point until much closer to the date.

I am in a similar situation myself having postponed from April to October and negotiated no more payments and a more flexible cancellation rate with my venue by making this case.

Separate to all this it's nice to read what people in a similar boat are thinking! I also was feeling positive up until I found out my venue would be imposing a 10.30pm finish up time. For me that is just trying to shoehorn a wedding into what sounds like a 95th birthday party in an old folks home. Absolute deal breaker for me. I'm going to wait til the next announcement but am leaning towards cancelling my hotel venue because I just don't think there will be the right atmosphere anytime soon. Going to start looking for small restaurant venue as an alternative. I don't want to postpone again for all the same reasons people have outlined above.

I;ll end up losing some money int he end but for me nothing would be worse than an awful wedding I don't want so I just have to suck it up. I'll be putting up a fight to get most of my money back though!

Oh no, our venue have been great. The deposit number I gave was for everything (photographers, bands etc.) The venue took the initial booking deposit and pushed the 50% chunk from two months before to three weeks before. They also told us we would only be charged for the numbers that guidelines would allow. At this stage though our problem is twofold: We don't want to send out invites this week just to tell people in three weeks you can't come, and second we live on the continent.

The initial loss of the hotel deposit is fine, and we haven't paid the follow up deposits. I'll happily (well not really) take the loss on the hotel deposit because at this stage we just can't go ahead with our date. I might see if the photographer will be a bit flexible and maybe do something for us later down the line, but the rest is gone. I'm in the position that I can eat the loss somewhat but, aside from the hotel, all our deposits have been to small sole traders who have been absolutely destroyed by all of this. I might try and squeeze something out of the hotel, but with the rest I don't think I could do so without feeling incredibly guilty.

qwerty13

nikpmup wrote: »

We've both - a lot of family members abroad, and a good handful who are immunocompromised. The survey was really helpful actually, we sent it to about 2/3 of our guests and asked them to be honest as it was anonymous. It was very clear that a good chunk of our guests just wouldn't be happy going in April, and that's assuming there's a lifting of restrictions. If the restrictions remain in place I'd say a good few more would decide not to go.

The survey was a brilliant idea - I can imagine that lots of people would accept a deferred invite, but would - understandably - still be a bit uncomfortable, or very much have a wait-and-see attitude. An anonymous survey was an excellent idea.

I wouldn't go to a wedding unless things improved on what they are now, ie that I’d seen other things with many people operating, without a spike in diagnosed cases. Others might feel differently, buts that’s how I’d feel - hence the survey was such a good idea

Daniel!

Got married on on Saturday.

Not really a poster and we've been keeping an eye on this forum for the last six months. I wanted to spread a bit of optimism and positivity that if you want to get married on your date then it is possible.

Originally had 320 people on our list for a local hotel. 8 weeks ago we decided to ditch the hotel and cut the numbers down and start organising a wedding at home. We live on a farm with an incredible view so we booked a marquee, wedding coordinator and a local caterer. We had a small crowd of family and close friends and spread the wedding over two nights. We were blessed with good weather which was probably our biggest worry. The weekend worked out absolutely incredible.

The wedding cost just as much as if we had invited 300 people to a hotel but we don't care. The stress and work load is about 50 times more then a hotel wedding and this isn't for everyone. But if you are someone that can work as a team with your future other then do it.

We had complete control over the event and are thankful we went ahead with it. If you want to get married then there is no reason why you can't.

Currently on honeymoon in the cliff house hotel, heading for castlemartyr after this then finishing in the Hayfield Manor.

Wishing ye all the best and thanks for all the advice over the last few months.

Dan,