O.k to lock toddlers bedroom door?

J6P

Hi,

Just a quick question to find out what people's thoughts are on this.

Our almost 2 year old was climbing out of her cot so we have transitioned to her first bed.

My problem is now she can get out onto the landing when we are asleep and I'm worried she might climb the stair gate.

Do people consider it o.k to lock her bedroom door in this situation?

Foweva Awone

Doesn't sit well with me at all! Could cost precious seconds for you or for emergency services in a worst-case situation.

How about hanging wind chimes against the door so that she can't get out without waking ye?

hairyslug

Have you tried a tall gate, granted they are usually used for pets but it stopped our youngest climbing over. They are a little over 1m, can be got in Argos.

iamwhoiam

I definitely would never lock a child into any room . Its too dangerous in a fire for example . Could you put a stair gate across her bedroom door ?

kieran.

Never lock a bedroom door... what happens if the child is the only person woken by the flames or smoke and can't get out to raise the alarm or there is a fire and you can't get the door unlocked for some reason.

DON'T DO IT.

Spook_ie

iamwhoiam wrote: »

I definitely would never lock a child into any room . Its too dangerous in a fire for example . Could you put a stair gate across her bedroom door ?

Did this ourselves and a stairgate, BTW don't forget a stairgate at the bottom for daytime if you don't want to look up one day and find the precious little ****** climbing the top one after losing sight of them for 5 nano seconds

ct5amr2ig1nfhp

Do not lock your toddler into her room at night. Have you totally lost your marbles? Find another solution.

Try a beam sensor that alarms if triggered. I.e someone walks past it.

wexie

I think aside from all the comments here regarding fire and emergencies it's just a bad idea, it wouldn't actually change any behaviours, it'd just hide them from you.

You could end up in a situation where she spends hours every night just puttering around in her room playing.

She'd be safe I guess, but not well minded.

Don't get me wrong parenting is hard bloody work, but in this case I think you'd be better off trying to adjust the behaviour than just locking her in her room.

The alternative could be one of those sleeping bags or duvets you can zip to the bed, usually for stopping them from falling out of the bed?

goat2

How would you like it if someone locked your door and you did not have access to the key to open it,
it is dangerous, disturbing, and neglectful, at two could you not have the child in your room, with a child gate to stop them getting out,

still a baby

uck51js9zml2yt

We used a stair gate on the door frame

siblers

goat2 wrote: »

How would you like it if someone locked your door and you did not have access to the key to open it,
it is dangerous, disturbing, and neglectful, at two could you not have the child in your room, with a child gate to stop them getting out,

still a baby

A 2 year old should most definitely not be sleeping in the same room as their parent. The op is only looking for advice, don't be so judgemental

goat2

siblers wrote: »

A 2 year old should most definitely not be sleeping in the same room as their parent. The op is only looking for advice, don't be so judgemental

To even think of locking a door, frightens me, a mother also

Cockadoodledoo

I just had a flashback to the time I got locked into the bathroom and I completely freaked out! Yeah definitely not something I would do

You can get little buzzers for the door that will ring when it’s opened.

drunkmonkey

A 2yr old won't jump a stair gate and it'll hurt itself if it does and won't do it again. We use them but open them when we're going to bed in case they need us during the night. After a while they don't bother trying to get out, like the horse and the chair.

Sleeper12

You should never lock a bedroom door. In the case of a fire the lock may not open due to the heat. The metal in the lock can expand.

If unsure ring your local fire station & they'll tell you quick enough

shesty

Stairgate on the door.Stairgate on the stairs.Groclock with a "dont get out of your bed until the sun comes up" rule.
Would she even sleep in a completely dark room?We close the door 80% over on our two year old but she is beginning to say she doesn't like the dark.Our four year old wants the door wide open the last year.
No way would I lock a child in.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

siblers wrote: »

A 2 year old should most definitely not be sleeping in the same room as their parent. The op is only looking for advice, don't be so judgemental

A 2 year old should be sleeping wherever the parents think is best for the 2 year old to sleep, in the parents room/bed or on their own

As others have said, a stair gate is your best bet OP. I know you mean well, but I wouldn't be happy locking the door.

decky1

siblers wrote: »

A 2 year old should most definitely not be sleeping in the same room as their parent. The op is only looking for advice, don't be so judgemental

why not? Im a grandparent now but when mine were small i'd let them sleep anywhere if the result was i got a night's sleep.:D

J6P

Looks like it'll be an extra tall gate on the bedroom door so..

ANXIOUS

Are we talking closing a door or locking a door?

drunkmonkey

shesty wrote: »

Stairgate on the door.Stairgate on the stairs.Groclock with a "dont get out of your bed until the sun comes up" rule.
Would she even sleep in a completely dark room?We close the door 80% over on our two year old but she is beginning to say she doesn't like the dark.Our four year old wants the door wide open the last year.
No way would I lock a child in.

Our lads like their doors closed and usually close it themselves after a few minutes of a rant at the stairgate, just on the dark thing, neither of them will sleep with the light off, one of them you can turn off his light and if he wakes up during the night it doesn't bother him, the other guy if he wakes up in the night and his light is off he'll go ballistic. Neither of them mind sleeping in our room with the light off.
I'd like them both to sleep with the light off as I reckon they don't get proper sleep with any light on, any ideas to get them to like the dark at night.

Teyla Emmagan

My parents used to lock me into my room.

It still gets brought up (not by them, obviously).

Sleeper12

drunkmonkey wrote:

Our lads like their doors closed and usually close it themselves after a few minutes of a rant at the stairgate, just on the dark thing, neither of them will sleep with the light off, one of them you can turn off his light and if he wakes up during the night it doesn't bother him, the other guy if he wakes up in the night and his light is off he'll go ballistic. Neither of them mind sleeping in our room with the light off. I'd like them both to sleep with the light off as I reckon they don't get proper sleep with any light on, any ideas to get them to like the dark at night.

Are you talking about lamps when you say light? If so you can put in darker bulbs every few weeks without them noticing. After a few months they will end up with little more than night lights.

Never tried this myself but think it might be worth a try. I remember as a kid being afraid in the dark. I wouldn't force it on any child. You seem to have the right attitude imo

Manitoban

I have been having the same issue with my just turned 2 yr old. She could hop out of the cot in seconds so put her in a bed, disaster trying to keep her in it, she could also hop across the stair gate on the bedroom door, even when I raised it up higher. Anyway I put the cot back together and put her in one of the gro bag sleeping bags, she can no longer get the leg over the cot so can’t get out! Now she has worked out how to slither her way out of the sleeping bag but I can see her on the video monitor and intervene before she gets it off. I also put the sleeping bag on backwards so she can’t unzip it. Might be worth a try, even to keep your toddler in the bed.

J6P

ANXIOUS wrote: »

Are we talking closing a door or locking a door?

I was considering locking the door as a temporary fix to prevent her roaming around upstairs while we were asleep.

She hasn't done this yet but is only in a bed since the weekend.

She'd most likely be straight into our bedroom if she did roam but as she was scaling out of the cot with ease i am fearful she might try to climb over the stair gate/down the stairs.

cruais

So dangerous. I get your concerns 're your little one wandering during the night, however there are much better options.

Our own little fella is a bit of a monkey but he is calming down thankfully. We put a regular child gate across his door when he was 2. It's gone now as he is 3 and comes into us first thing in the mornings.

At the top of our stairs we put an extra tall child gate. I got it in Argos. He has never attempted to climb it thankfully. Yes my up stairs is like mountjoy prison but I don't care

wexie

Manitoban wrote: »

Anyway I put the cot back together and put her in one of the gro bag sleeping bags

Amazing how quickly they learn to get up and walk in them. Even run, cutest thing ever to see a munchkin like that run around like Maggie Simpson.

Frustrating as hell, but cute

Ghekko

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Our lads like their doors closed and usually close it themselves after a few minutes of a rant at the stairgate, just on the dark thing, neither of them will sleep with the light off, one of them you can turn off his light and if he wakes up during the night it doesn't bother him, the other guy if he wakes up in the night and his light is off he'll go ballistic. Neither of them mind sleeping in our room with the light off.
I'd like them both to sleep with the light off as I reckon they don't get proper sleep with any light on, any ideas to get them to like the dark at night.

Use a night light but please don't leave your child in the dark if he doesn't like it. I'd go ballistic and I'm in my 40's. I've had many a panic attack waking in darkness and not being able to find my bearings. We have a street light outside our house and that's sufficient, however if we stay with our relatives in the countryside I have to have the landing light on and the door ajar.

Kintarō Hattori

J6P wrote: »

I was considering locking the door as a temporary fix to prevent her roaming around upstairs while we were asleep.

She hasn't done this yet but is only in a bed since the weekend.

She'd most likely be straight into our bedroom if she did roam but as she was scaling out of the cot with ease i am fearful she might try to climb over the stair gate/down the stairs.

I used to that, I remember it as clear as day. Cot was in my parents room and I used to wake up before them, climb out of the cot, open the stairgate (it was really basic, think the 1970s) and head down the stairs to watch some television.

To add my 2c though, yeah locking their door is a terrible idea. Lots of good suggestions already mentioned.

Neyite

Stairgate at the top of the stairs is probably what I would do. And teach her about the importance of going into your room first to find you if she gets up and to never go downstairs without one of you. She's two so will be well able to abide by that rule.

If she needs to come into you for whatever reason you want her to be able to do that. When we were very young my sister woke me in the middle of the night as she had an asthma attack and was struggling to breathe. There's no way she could have called out for help, but she could get out of bed and shake me awake to get the parents. It was so quiet that I didn't hear her until she woke me. If she had been alone in a locked room she was screwed.

Then there's the very obvious hazard in an emergency.

goat2

siblers wrote: »

A 2 year old should most definitely not be sleeping in the same room as their parent. The op is only looking for advice, don't be so judgemental

Nothing wrong with it, all mine were in mine until age 3, they are not in any effected by it,

Locking a baby in a room, wow

Sleeper12

siblers wrote: »

A 2 year old should most definitely not be sleeping in the same room as their parent. The op is only looking for advice, don't be so judgemental

Who says so? What expert told you that & based on what?


Up to a hundred years ago we didn't have separate rooms. Most people had a curtain to pull across.



How after tens of thousands of years of sleeping together did it all of a sudden become wrong for a child to share a room with their parents?



I'd love to see some hard evidence on this notion

jlm29

TBH, I’d put a safety gate anywhere you’d rather she didn’t roam (bathroom, office etc), and leave her at it. Or else put one on her bedroom door, maybe raised up a bit so it’s not climbable. If you’re genuinely worried about her climbing the gate at the top of the stairs, take it off, and spend a bit of time teaching her to ascend and descend safely. Leave lights on. We don’t have gates on the stairs, and my 16mo, and 2.5 year old manage them fine. My 2.5 yr old hops out of bed a good few nights, the only place he goes is towards people, he’d never bother going downstairs

mirrorwall14

We had stairgate on bedroom and stairs and strict rules about stairs. Never allowed near that stair gate without Mammy or daddy. We would let him wander before bed time and in the morning and enforce that rule consistently all the time. Even now at nearly four and with stair gate long gone he doesn’t go near the stairs without permission

We also spent a good week or two putting him back in the bed every single time he got out of it (this was exhausting for us!!!). He didn’t really get out of bed much after that. He can go get books off the shelves and hops back in, that’s mostly it. He’ll push boundaries every now and then and it’s just about reinforcing it again

GreeBo

goat2 wrote: »

How would you like it if someone locked your door and you did not have access to the key to open it,
it is dangerous, disturbing, and neglectful, at two could you not have the child in your room, with a child gate to stop them getting out,

still a baby

Sorry but thats nonsense.
You could apply the same argument to stair gates, food, clothing and basically everything that all parents do for their child.

pwurple

Teaching them a safe way to come down the stairs can help too. For a toddler, sit down and go Bumping down the stairs on their bum.

I get what people are saying about staying in the room, but don’t forget about teaching independence and being part of the family. It is good to know how to go to the bathroom themselves, in the middle of the night, without waking everyone up. They need a drink, they have a step in the kitchen to get up to the tap with a cup.

shesty

Our first didn't get out of bed to gp to the loo until she was nearly four!It's not that we didn't let her, it just never occurred to her, and never occurred to us to tell her to get out if has to....we assumed she knew!!
We leave lights on on the landing at night, but no lights in the bedroom, I'm afraid.Doors are open.
Our two year old is a law unto herself, figured out how to undo the stair gate early on so that was useless...we find her grolclock to be very useful.I read developmentally they don't really get the concept of staying in bed/chair til about 2.5, so the groclock or a plug-in light on a timer or something is a good aid in that.And 100% you have to keep putting her back in when she gets out and you're up, because it's the only way they really understand at that age, they are still very small.Currently doing it at mealtimes at the kitchen table with the two year old...no.3 has usurped the highchair so she's got freedom at meals now!!!