Sisters wanting sites

Tell me how

littelady wrote: »

My husband won't declare war on his sisters. This won't cause a situation were he will never talk to them again.

So why do you think he is so aggrieved by this? Is it to do with the time spent working on the farm?

If it was a traditional farming household, I expect they did their share in terms of supporting the business of the farm, preparing food, laundry etc.

shenanagans

littelady wrote: »

In 2 cases yes. But the sites are more valuable

If they got a substantial deposit then perhaps that's sufficient. But ask yourself was it substantial???

Why are they coming back for more??

Alrigghtythen

littelady wrote: »

I agree he is inheriting allot of land and machinery but also inheriting the debts and he is expected to keep it for the next generation. He will never see the millions. His dad will give up the sites.

He gets his site for free
He begrudges giving them a site
He gets the land for free
He gets a wage
You can 100% be sure his sisters helped on farm at some points
Are you planning on caring for his parents if/when they need it?

The next generation mightn't want to farm it

littelady

It's also a case of the sisters and their partners can object to my husband should he expand the farm. Ie more traffic on the road, working late In the fields behind them etc.

highspeed

Are the 2 sisters planning on living on these sites or is there a big possibility that they will sell the sites?

I have 2 sisters who both got sites when farm was transferred to me. Both are now married to farmers and as they did not need the sites for themselves, the sites were transferred back to me. This was agreed between my sisters & parents when they transferred. My brother got a site and had built on it and is happily married there.

littelady

shenanagans wrote: »

If they got a substantial deposit then perhaps that's sufficient. But ask yourself was it substantial???

Why are they coming back for more??

2 other sisters got deposits for houses in the town. The three remaining sisters want to live on the sites. They never worked on the farm.

kingdom fan

It's been a very long time since I posted here.
A relation of mine was gifted a site on the main road . About 400 yards in front of my house . I live on the farm. An absolute disaster. They claimed a right of way on my road , the only way into my house. They don't need to use my road to access their house. They routinely burn rubbish on my road. Will typically do it on a bank holiday Monday. About 5 years ago we invited them to our child's birthday. Said call up around 2. They started burning carpet and lino on my roadway in front of my house at 2 with lots of neighbours calling up. The excuse was the son started the fire. He didnt do it. The area in front of my house ( behind their house) is a tip, an actual rubbish tip with all sorts from an old transit, drums, pallets, household rubbish and coffee cups etc emotied from cars.etc etc. Had to pick up household rubbish from a silage field one day. Have occasionally blocked the road by parking the car across the road. Then come out all nice nice saying they didn't know they blocked the road, or what ape left the rubbish there . They Told a person who recent my moved to the area that they owned the road and he could park a lorry on the road. I came home to see an artic parked on d grass margin.September 2017. The land was saturated. The road destroyed with dirt. No attempt to clean it or fill the hole at d side of the road. I could easily go on and on.
Basically they are mad as I bought the farm from a relation who wanted nothing to do with them.i was not gifted it, despite working the place all my life. Then bought the neighbouring farm. Me and the said relation get along fine.
In short, I would be totally against letting anyone build on the farm. Its only trouble for another day.I offered to buy a site for my sister rather than let her build on my farm.
I know plenty that would agree with me.

fergus1001

if the siblings are not seen to be looked after in their will or whatever it could be court time and the only people winning there are the legal eagles

Tell me how

littelady wrote: »

It's also a case of the sisters and their partners can object to my husband should he expand the farm. Ie more traffic on the road, working late In the fields behind them etc.

How likely is this to happen? I know it's not straightforward, and often its not the siblings but the partners they ultimately end up with who could be the source of discomfort.

No one can predict the future but it's best to be positively inclined than negative.

littelady

highspeed wrote: »

Are the 2 sisters planning on living on these sites or is there a big possibility that they will sell the sites?

I have 2 sisters who both got sites when farm was transferred to me. Both are now married to farmers and as they did not need the sites for themselves, the sites were transferred back to me. This was agreed between my sisters & parents when they transferred. My brother got a site and had built on it and is happily married there.

One sister could potentially build and sell after the 5 years is up ( planning stipulation) they would want full market price

shenanagans

highspeed wrote: »

Are the 2 sisters planning on living on these sites or is there a big possibility that they will sell the sites?

I have 2 sisters who both got sites when farm was transferred to me. Both are now married to farmers and as they did not need the sites for themselves, the sites were transferred back to me. This was agreed between my sisters & parents when they transferred. My brother got a site and had built on it and is happily married there.

That's a good idea. If they don't use the sites, give them back.

shenanagans

littelady wrote: »

2 other sisters got deposits for houses in the town. The three remaining sisters want to live on the sites. They never worked on the farm.

You have 5 sisters in law.... The poor thing.

PoorFarmer

I took over the farm at home which is a hell of alot smaller than 200 acres. 3 brothers that live local got 3 of the 4 possible sites on the farm and they were more than welcome to them. Always someone around if am caught to move a few cattle or need a lift with something. I actually ended up buying a farm next door and building there so not even living on the original farm. The way I looked at it was the land wasn't mine until it was signed over to me. Why should I be the one who decides who gets what when it was my parents that built up the farm?
I think your husband needs to think clearly about what the bigger picture is. A few acres out of 200 is pretty minor for the sake of his parents and possibly his sisters happiness.
If it's like the vast majority of farms around here he could probably pull back those few acres just by cutting back the bushes and tidying up any waste corners around the place.

goat2

littelady wrote: »

My hubby is in the process of taking over the family farm. Now three of his sisters are looking for sites with intent to start building as soon as possible. My hubby is raging to the point he doesn't want to talk about it. How would you feel.

Are you inheriting it, getting it for nothing,
I think it is only right that they get sites, it is hard to get on the house market, this is the only way to go, if one could get a site.
it was their home place also,

J.O. Farmer

littelady wrote: »

It's also a case of the sisters and their partners can object to my husband should he expand the farm. Ie more traffic on the road, working late In the fields behind them etc.

Nobody can object to you expanding the farm in the sense of stopping you. They can bid against you if land comes up for sale.

If it's about sheds or that they can probably object while living on the other side of country.

It would appear to be an underlying family dispute and not wanting to live in close proximity to his sisters rather than the value of the land. That in a way is more understandable.

ConnyMcDavid

Why are the sisters only making this request now? Why not before it was handed over?

kurtainsider

Look at it this way for a moment:

Would your husband be happier his parents gave the farm lock stock and barrel to one of the sisters?
Would he be "raging" if this sister begrudged him a site?

It's the very same thing unless you think that having a penis makes a difference.

The J Stands for Jay

Eric Cartman wrote: »

Now not making assumptions in this case , but usually the son would have worked the farm all his life while the daughters went off to college / pursued careers outside the farm, its a mix of tradition and probably sexism on behalf of the parents not involving the daughters in the family farm, not too fair but were it the case that I was the sibling who stayed at home and tended the farm all my life , siblings who had never done a tap demanding land would piss me off.

Assuming the son worked the farm for 20 years before getting it, each sister would need to have worked on the form for 36 days to have an equal claim to an acre of the farm. I'd say they've done that much easily.

Pussyhands

rovertom wrote: »

Well if he is taking over the farm without paying for it, he is inheriting far in excess of what the sisters are looking for I'd imagine.

And there's probably a reason for that in that he's done a lot of work over the years for it!

littelady

ConnyMcDavid wrote: »

Why are the sisters only making this request now? Why not before it was handed over?

I guess they were having a conversation between them and decided to get sites before its too late.

littelady

Pussyhands wrote: »

And there's probably a reason for that in that he's done a lot of work over the years for it!

He has worked very hard even Christmas day.

littelady

Can I ask the farmers here if you would be pissed off too?

Eric Cartman

McGaggs wrote: »

Assuming the son worked the farm for 20 years before getting it, each sister would need to have worked on the form for 36 days to have an equal claim to an acre of the farm. I'd say they've done that much easily.

perhaps, but assuming the father dies first, who will look after the mother, surely she won't be leaving the farm house to go live in one of the new houses, she might live the guts of a decade beyond. Also we have no idea is theres any money being left to the daughters, for all we know the son could be getting a farm worth a million quid and the daughters each getting a million before this land.

We'd really need more details that probably can't be made public,

Alrigghtythen

littelady wrote: »

He has worked very hard even Christmas day.

How much of a difference financially, practically & emotionally does an acre and a half make to him?

littelady

I know my hubby would be happy to give money for a deposit instead. But that's a no go

Becks610

I don’t think this should be an issue for ye as such. Surely the parents should decide.

Have they thought about what will happen if they need care etc and who will pay etc. cos that could be a large cost down the line. Obviously one would assume that if the son gets the farm and three sisters don’t get the sites then the obligation would be on the son re care etc.

Was the issue of the sites ever discussed cos we can all give our own opinion here ( probably all biased on our view and situation) but each family and situation is different.

Also re the sisters not doing any work etc on the farm often that isn’t a choice. I think the sites and all other practicalities should be discussed and if people are in a huff over perceived unfairness then at least everyone knows where they stand.

shenanagans

Can you husband agree to give them sites subject to planning.

If they go to the expense of planning permission etc. Then they really want to use the site.

If they don't want to get planning then they are just being opportunists. And let them p**s off!

And needless to say, they can't sell the sites.

Eric Cartman

Alrigghtythen wrote: »

How much of a difference financially, practically & emotionally does an acre and a half make to him?

I'm sure somebody could clarify but firstly it might be a cash expense for the legal paperwork that the husband doesn't have for solicitors, then theres the issue of the sites services and where they come from, it might mean other bits of land are out of action or if there isn't a lot of road frontage , a reduction in the value of the remainder of the land far exceeding the acreage value, the bits of land wanted could have been earmarked for something else or going below a threshold of acreage could affect support payments.

I says

Get all this sorted before anything is signed over and all parties are in agreement.
Mark out the sites it’s only three acres when all is signed sealed and delivered plant leylandis around the sites and forget about it and be happy with the 197 acres yer getting and not be miserable with the three yer losing.

shenanagans

littelady wrote: »

I know my hubby would be happy to give money for a deposit instead. But that's a no go

Are the sisters attached... Married... Etc. Do they need the sites now.

Pussyhands

littelady wrote: »

Can I ask the farmers here if you would be pissed off too?

I personally would but I probably wouldn't prevent it happening, you'll only cause rifts in the family.

Alrigghtythen

littelady wrote: »

2 other sisters got deposits for houses in the town. The three remaining sisters want to live on the sites. They never worked on the farm.

Do you do much around the farm yourself to deserve your free site?

Why should they not have an opportunity to live in the neighbourhood they grew up in?

kurtainsider

littelady wrote: »

I guess they were having a conversation between them and decided to get sites before its too late.

Well good for them. Their chances of getting a site (or an inheritance) afterwards sound very slim.

To be absolutely serious - your husband needs to stand back and look at the big picture here.

There's relationships with parents, siblings, in-laws, nephews and nieces to consider. There's a hand with cattle, there's a lift when you're stuck, there's Christmas's, birthdays, bbq's, someone to go to the pub with, share a joke with and all the things that make life worth living.

Do your husband and yourself really put more value on 2 acres of land above all of that? That's the fundamental question here.

JeffKenna

littelady wrote: »

I know my hubby would be happy to give money for a deposit instead. But that's a no go

Perhaps they feel love to the land/area much like your husband does.

I've heard of a case like this where the sisters wanted to sell the sites on after once they got planning but if they want to live there I can't see why your husband thinks they shouldn't.

endacl

Do the sisters have kids who might be handy to have local in a few years for standing in gaps or picking stones?

littelady

Eric Cartman wrote: »

perhaps, but assuming the father dies first, who will look after the mother, surely she won't be leaving the farm house to go live in one of the new houses, she might live the guts of a decade beyond. Also we have no idea is theres any money being left to the daughters, for all we know the son could be getting a farm worth a million quid and the daughters each getting a million before this land.

We'd really need more details that probably can't be made public,

If my father in law dies he has made pervisions that the farm pays his wife a salary until her time comes. The girls will also get a lump sum I'm not sure of the figures my hubby won't as he will have the farm. Their home will be handed over to another sibling male this time who decided he doesn't want the farm and is happy this will be his inheritance

charolais0153

Im lucky here to the extent that my 3 sisters probably wont look for sites not that there is many to give. If they wanted one id prob give them one after ive chosen mine:)

littelady

Alrigghtythen wrote: »

Do you do much around the farm yourself to deserve your free site?

Why should they not have an opportunity to live in the neighbourhood they grew up in?

I have worked on the farm but I cannot now I was in a bad accident a couple of years back.

shenanagans

littelady wrote: »

If my father in law dies he has made pervisions that the farm pays his wife a salary until her time comes. The girls will also get a lump sum I'm not sure of the figures my hubby won't as he will have the farm. Their home will be handed over to another sibling male this time who decided he doesn't want the farm and is happy this will be his inheritance

I can't understand why all farming families can't agree like this. Put a plan in place. Everyone's happy. No family feud.

kingdom fan

kurtainsider wrote: »

Well good for them. Their chances of getting a site (or an inheritance) afterwards sound very slim.

To be absolutely serious - your husband needs to stand back and look at the big picture here.

There's relationships with parents, siblings, in-laws, nephews and nieces to consider. There's a hand with cattle, there's a lift when you're stuck, there's Christmas's, birthdays, bbq's, someone to go to the pub with, share a joke with and all the things that make life worth living.

Do your husband and yourself really put more value on 2 acres of land above all of that? That's the fundamental question here.

You need to read my post to answer that

littelady

Becks610 wrote: »

I don’t think this should be an issue for ye as such. Surely the parents should decide.

Have they thought about what will happen if they need care etc and who will pay etc. cos that could be a large cost down the line. Obviously one would assume that if the son gets the farm and three sisters don’t get the sites then the obligation would be on the son re care etc.

Was the issue of the sites ever discussed cos we can all give our own opinion here ( probably all biased on our view and situation) but each family and situation is different.

Also re the sisters not doing any work etc on the farm often that isn’t a choice. I think the sites and all other practicalities should be discussed and if people are in a huff over perceived unfairness then at least everyone knows where they stand.

My hubby will have to pay for nursing homes if needed the girls won't

TooOldBoots

Nothing worse than 1 off houses siting on the farm. If I were him I'd be looking to pay them off.
Had a similar situation myself where my daughter was looking for a site. I discussed it with my son and neither he or I were in favor of it.
As I told her she had no entitlement to the farm as She was hardly gonna go farming it. I paid towards her education, and thats more than enough.
Raising Daughters is like ploughing another mans field for him

Alrigghtythen

3 years ago you posted you had no problem giving one of them a site. Why the change of heart?

littelady

kingdom fan wrote: »

You need to read my post to answer that

As I said there will be no family fall out over the sites.

littelady

TooOldBoots wrote: »

Nothing worse than 1 off houses siting on the farm. If I were him I'd be looking to pay them off.
Had a similar situation myself where my daughter was looking for a site. I discussed it with my son and neither he or I were in favor of it.
As I told her she had no entitlement to the farm as She was hardly gonna go farming it. I paid towards her education, and thats more than enough.
Raising Daughters is like ploughing another mans field for him

They don't want paying off they want sites

endacl

littelady wrote: »

My hubby will have to pay for nursing homes if needed the girls won't

Side note: Use of the word ‘hubby’ makes it difficult to see things from your point of view.

shenanagans

TooOldBoots wrote: »

Nothing worse than 1 off houses siting on the farm. If I were him I'd be looking to pay them off.
Had a similar situation myself where my daughter was looking for a site. I discussed it with my son and neither he or I were in favor of it.
As I told her she had no entitlement to the farm as She was hardly gonna go farming it. I paid towards her education, and thats more than enough.
Raising Daughters is like ploughing another mans field for him

Hope that son looks after you when you old. For sure your daughter won't be looking after you.

You know that old saying...
A son is a son til he finds a wife, a daughter is a daughter all her life.

James Bond Junior

TooOldBoots wrote: »

Nothing worse than 1 off houses siting on the farm. If I were him I'd be looking to pay them off.
Had a similar situation myself where my daughter was looking for a site. I discussed it with my son and neither he or I were in favor of it.
As I told her she had no entitlement to the farm as She was hardly gonna go farming it. I paid towards her education, and thats more than enough.
Raising Daughters is like ploughing another mans field for him

I'm only lurking here but that is an awful way to speak about your own flesh and blood.

littelady

Alrigghtythen wrote: »

3 years ago you posted you had no problem giving one of them a site. Why the change of heart?

I don't like her anymore lol

kingdom fan

littelady wrote: »

As I said there will be no family fall out over the sites.

We can't tell the future.
All it needs is a bad odour from slurry. Some kids nose out of joint cause he wasn't let on d tractor. Etc etc. For a feud to start.
I have seen it happen