Sisters wanting sites

littelady

shenanagans wrote: »

Now you are talking non sense.

You'd leave your biggest asset to strangers rather then sell and divide between your kids. Or give cash to grandkids??? Or enjoy you old age with comfort.

Now your defo saying what will keep bloggers happy. Rubbish.

I'm not talking nonsense. The farm wouldn't be handed over to strangers either it would be kept in the family.

littelady

kurtainsider wrote: »

Doubt it

Doubt what?

shenanagans

littelady wrote: »

I'm not talking nonsense. The farm wouldn't be handed over to strangers either it would be kept in the family.

So if your kids don't farm. You'll give it to your husband nephew or niece???

Your kids would be happy with that.?

Becks610

littelady wrote: »

I guess my kids would enter a partnership. My husbands sisters showed no interest ever if they had they would have gotten a share

Hopefully that would happen but partnership between siblings- a lot of times disaster. Would your husband be if the same mindset ( something for ye to discuss down the line). The sisters probably wouldn’t have been given a share as the farm would then be split in 4,5, 6 ways. If there is such problems over giving a site I doubt the sisters would have gotten a share.

It must be a fairly profitable farm if all the sisters are getting lump sums (as there is quite a few) or else the lump sums aren’t big and this is why they want a site too. It may be annoying now to have to discuss giving over these sites but in one way it’s good it came up now and not down the line.

littelady

bb12 wrote: »

i'm a daughter who was given a site as well as my sisters on the family farm. being girls we were never given the option of working on the farm and were sent off to be educated although i would have loved to work on the land instead.

anyhow we were given the sites so that no future dispute would arise where we could claim against our brothers if we hadn't been given anything. my elderly parents are now very glad to have their daughters living beside them in their more fragile years.

I totally get your point too. Manys a girl was denied the right to farm based on your sex. In our case my sis in law didn't want too and got 3rd level education far removed from farming.

kurtainsider

littelady wrote: »

Doubt what?

I very much doubt that if they expressed an interest in the farm that they would have been given a share.

They are now expressing an interest in 0.5 of 1 percent of the farm and your husband is "raging to the point he doesn't want to talk about it" as you state in your OP.

You're codding no one.

Becks610

littelady wrote: »

I totally get your point too. Manys a girl was denied the right to farm based on your sex. In our case my sis in law didn't want too and got 3rd level education far removed from farming.

I take it your husband didn’t get third level education?

JustJoe7240

littelady wrote: »

Can I ask the farmers here if you would be pissed off too?

Lots of farmers have already answered, one has to assume the majority of those who frequent the farming and forestry forum are farmers. The general consensus is that your husband is greedy.
I'm an only son with 3 sisters. I have worked considerably more on the farm than they have, but I don't see that as giving me more of a right to the land than they do. I consider it a way of thanking them for all they have done for me, I can safely say, If I was in a position your "hubby" is in, I'd be more than happy to give them a site. It's 3% of the holding. You're delusional if you think this won't cause a rift between the family.

shenanagans

JustJoe7240 wrote: »

Lots of farmers have already answered, one has to assume the majority of those who frequent the farming and forestry forum are farmers. The general consensus is that your husband is greedy.
I'm an only son with 3 sisters. I have worked considerably more on the farm than they have, but I don't see that as giving me more of a right to the land than they do. I consider it a way of thanking them for all they have done for me, I can safely say, If I was in a position your "hubby" is in, I'd be more than happy to give them a site. It's 3% of the holding. You're delusional if you think this won't cause a rift between the family.

Well said.

3 sites VS family feud.

Alrigghtythen

shenanagans wrote: »

Well said.

3 sites VS family feud.

Greed is a terrible thing

mf240

This whole tread is depressing.

littelady

Thanks for all feedback. As I said I'm going to keep out of it leave it to my husband and father in law. Having "wives" involved is something I don't agree with. All I wanted was a bit of insight from all points of view so thank you all.

shenanagans

littelady wrote: »

Thanks for all feedback. As I said I'm going to keep out of it leave it to my husband and father in law. Having "wives" involved is something I don't agree with. All I wanted was a bit of insight from all points of view so thank you all.

Good luck to you. Hope it all ends well. And continue to stay out of it.... Wise decision.

Tell that hubby not to bring a fued to your door!!

It's the most stressful thing in life.. A family feud. There's no escaping it when you literally live in it... Passing relations every day. Xmas, Easter, birthdays etc. Don't tolerate it.... Think of your kids. You reap what you sow. Set good example to that son/daughter.

Again good luck.

Green&Red

@littlelady what have you taken from this thread?

You came on here looking for advice and from what I can see it has been overwhelmingly against your husbands seeming annoyance.

So will you take that back to him?

For what it’s worth my dad offered sites to some of my family before he gave me the land, it was my parents call which of my siblings they offered, only one took him up on it. It was his call though

Green&Red

littelady wrote: »

Thanks for all feedback. As I said I'm going to keep out of it leave it to my husband and father in law. Having "wives" involved is something I don't agree with. All I wanted was a bit of insight from all points of view so thank you all.

You don’t have to be offering your opinion to the wider family, that can go down badly, but surely your husband and yourself can have a private conversation on it.

Possibly with you offering some perspective on it while at the same time providing support?

Because the above statement sounds like you’re going to ignore what you’ve read here and stick your head in the sand

Tell me how

littelady wrote:

Thanks for all feedback. As I said I'm going to keep out of it leave it to my husband and father in law. Having "wives" involved is something I don't agree with. All I wanted was a bit of insight from all points of view so thank you all.

If I ever get married, I hope I'll value and get my wife's opinion on things which will affect our lives together.

I may be alone in thinking this but you are involved even if you say nothing. He'll feed off your comments and behavior anyway.

listermint

What your husband should do is keep the 200 acres all for himself. And then pass it all on to his own family when the time comes.

He can then spend his entire life in a silent disagreement with his own siblings whom he grew up with from before he could walk.

Sure it's land , isn't land better than relationships and living. you can take all that lovely land with you into the ground.

Why give any of your siblings a thing . Who needs family anyway you can buy more.

Green&Red

Tell me how wrote: »

If I ever get married, I hope I'll value and get my wife's opinion on things which will affect our lives together.

I may be alone in thinking this but you are involved even if you say nothing. He'll feed off your comments and behavior anyway.

This!

I’m getting into dairy at the minute but I’ve sat down and gone through it with my fiancé, it affects her as much as me

mf240

Can't he spread a bit extra fertiliser on the 197 acres and he will hardly miss it.

Jack Moore

littelady wrote: »

It's also a case of the sisters and their partners can object to my husband should he expand the farm. Ie more traffic on the road, working late In the fields behind them etc.

That’s been a issue for years

littelady

Actually I mIght surprise the majority of you. I did listen to what you said that's why I asked for opinions.
When my husband wants to talk about it I will say the girls didn't take shares in the farm for that you are lucky. If giving a site and whatever cash entitlements is in the fathers will it's now final. Besides it's his dad that has to hand over the sites nothing he can do so be graceful and thankful.

Sheep breeder

Alrigghtythen wrote: »

Really, She should be denied her father's land and to live in the neighbourhood she grew up in, because the sons wife doesn't like her anymore.

Reading this I think it’s the wife as the problem with the sisters getting sites.

qwerty ui op

For most farms in my area those siblings who wanted a site got one. That said, most farmers are also working in either full time or part time jobs.

These sites have really made a difference to the quality of life of those who have got them. Whereas if it remained as land it would made very little difference to the farmers business....
Unless of course if he's thinking down the line and where will his kids build if all the road frontage is gone!!! and that's not very fair is it.

Along with the hundreds of other benefits the families who inherit a site are very much protected from property bubbles etc. Why would a parent not want to help their children avoid all that BS.

What I can never understand about these type situations, is how it comes to this big shock, from an early age there must have been an understanding about the family farm.
How come, the old fella didn't mention that the other siblings would be in line for a site if they wanted one?

How come , the young farmer didn't draw it up?

How come the sisters didn't draw it up?

bfa1509

Jack Moore wrote: »

Well if it’s the family farm shouldn’t family be housed in it ?

rovertom wrote: »

Well if he is taking over the farm without paying for it, he is inheriting far in excess of what the sisters are looking for I'd imagine.

OSI wrote: »

So having a dick magically grants him 197x as much land as his sister's?

Oh dear, oh dear, where do I even start with this!

How about all of you think for one second about the back-breaking work this man's father, mother, grandfather, grandmother put into the farm to now see it be divided up amongst three sisters who probably have little to no intention of doing a tap of work to help keep the farm going?

Do you realise how less feasible a farm is as a soul income the smaller it gets?

Whoever takes on the responsibility of looking after the farm gets the whole farm. End of story. (Unless of course the parents feel that a plot of land should be set aside for each of the daughters, that's completely up to them)

You are all talking as though he is inheriting a fortune. Chances of him selling the farm are slim.

Sheep breeder

listermint wrote: »

What your husband should do is keep the 200 acres all for himself. And then pass it all on to his own family when the time comes.

He can then spend his entire life in a silent disagreement with his own siblings whom he grew up with from before he could walk.

Sure it's land , isn't land better than relationships and living. you can take all that lovely land with you into the ground.

Why give any of your siblings a thing . Who needs family anyway you can buy more.

Agree with the above, family is family and any body reared on the land loves the land and their community where they were reared and went to school, gaa, friends. At the end of the day 6x4 holds a lot of people.

sasta le

Pretty nice position to be in here

fergus1001

bfa1509 wrote:

You are all talking as though he is inheriting a fortune. Chances of him selling the farm are slim.

he is inheriting a fortune, if he decided to pack it in and sell the farm down the road he would be a millionaire

Tell me how

bfa1509 wrote:

How about all of you think for one second about the back-breaking work this man's father, mother, grandfather, grandmother put into the farm to now see it be divided up amongst three sisters who probably have little to no intention of doing a tap of work to help keep the farm going?

Do you realise how less feasible a farm is as a soul income the smaller it gets?[

Whoever takes on the responsibility of looking after the farm gets the whole farm. End of story.

Relax old McDonald, it's 1.5 acres. Out of 200.

JustJoe7240

bfa1509 wrote: »

Oh dear, oh dear, where do I even start with this!

How about all of you think for one second about the back-breaking work this man's father, mother, grandfather, grandmother put into the farm to now see it be divided up amongst three sisters who probably have little to no intention of doing a tap of work to help keep the farm going?

Do you realise how less feasible a farm is as a soul income the smaller it gets?

Whoever takes on the responsibility of looking after the farm gets the whole farm. End of story. (Unless of course the parents feel that a plot of land should be set aside for each of the daughters, that's completely up to them)

You are all talking as though he is inheriting a fortune. Chances of him selling the farm are slim.

What planet are you on? Welcome to the 21st century chief. Its not being divided up among anyone. In total they're looking for 3%. He's inheriting an asset worth anywhere from one to two million euro. Whether he decided to farm it or sell it has nothing to do with it.

I wouldn't be surprised if you're the ops husband with your backwards thinking.

bfa1509

fergus1001 wrote: »

he is inheriting a fortune, if he decided to pack it in and sell the farm down the road he would be a millionaire

I don't think he's going to sell the farm. The fact that he is angry at his sisters building their houses on the land shows that he is dedicated to running it. You'd be angry too if your siblings got all the benefit of the land without any of the responsibilty of looking after it. You haven't considered that he may not even want the farm deep down but has no other choice as he is inheriting the legacy of his parents.

I don't know why everyone is imagining this inheritance as cash in their pockets. Who in their right mind would fork out thousands-millions to buy a farm?