Sisters wanting sites

bfa1509

JustJoe7240 wrote: »

What planet are you on? Welcome to the 21st century chief. Its not being divided up among anyone. In total they're looking for 3%. He's inheriting an asset worth anywhere from one to two million euro. Whether he decided to farm it or sell it has nothing to do with it.

I wouldn't be surprised if you're the ops husband with your backwards thinking.

You are mistaking "backwards thinking" with logical thinking. Nobody in this thread is looking at this from the persective of the husband. You cant get the $$$$$$$ out of your heads, it has nothing to do with money.

andekwarhola

TooOldBoots wrote: »

Nothing worse than 1 off houses siting on the farm. If I were him I'd be looking to pay them off.
Had a similar situation myself where my daughter was looking for a site. I discussed it with my son and neither he or I were in favor of it.
As I told her she had no entitlement to the farm as She was hardly gonna go farming it. I paid towards her education, and thats more than enough.
Raising Daughters is like ploughing another mans field for him

Dad of the year.

fergus1001

bfa1509 wrote:

I don't know why everyone is imagining this inheritance as cash in their pockets. Who in their right mind would fork out thousands-millions to buy a farm?

loads of people, can't print more land as they say

even if he is not going to sell the farm he is still asset rich unlike the sisters

I myself am a second son and put in many years work on the farm and I expect a site as remuneration for that work

qwerty ui op

He's angry because of whatever notions he had in his head.He may not be all that greedy he must have just assumed that all that land is his or would be his.

How the site issue never came up, right until the time the ready-mix lorry is almost at the gate :eek: I know this happens but I can never understand it.

The J Stands for Jay

kurtainsider wrote: »

Raising Daughters is like ploughing another mans field for him???

Please, please tell us that you're a troll. If that's a genuine attitude you'd make the Bull McCabe look like a hipster.

With that attitude, wouldn't any children other than the eldest son also be "like ploughing another mans field for him"?

Cashmerewrap

kurtainsider wrote: »

On the face of it I think that your husbands parents would be absolutely stupid to sign over the farm to your husband at all. Never mind giving the sisters a site to build a house.

As they become older and infirm having their daughters next door would be a huge help to them. Your husband, the son, sounds like a spoiled, entitled brat who inherits 98% of the entire lot plus stock, machinery, sheds and goodness knows what else and his reaction is that he's beside himself with resentment at his sisters getting 1% each. Are they actually expecting him or indeed you to look after them in their old age?

To summarise: Sites for the sisters - Grow old at home with their daughters to look in on them and help them.
No sites for the sisters - The county home before the year is out.

I couldn't agree with this comment more. I have lived this situation and I am the 'sister except my dad ended up in his grave and my mum is a quivering mess because of my greedy, abusive brother. My advice to the sisters is to get all this sown up very carefully before anything is transferred. Blind faith in my brother and a very poor solicitor left my parents with absolutely no income, 3 siblings left out in the cold who worked endlessly on the farm for years and most sadly a broken family. My brother is in a relationship with a nasty woman who has fuelled all of this. It breaks my heart to think of my poor dad who worked so hard sitting crying in his chair the day before he died. I'm sorry for the emotive reply, this is all very raw. Your husband needs to see what is important. Mine couldn't see beyond his greed and he is now cut off from his family and not liked in the local community because of his actions, some things are more important than land and machinery.

cjpm

Local guy here was getting farm transferred into his name finally. He's in his 50's.

Was being done privately between himself and father.

Local big mouth heard and decided to ring up sisters who are long gone. Settled elsewhere etc.

They both came back looking for their cut. Massive row after breaking out now!!!

flatty

I never heard the like. There used to be magdalene laundries for these sort of pesky sisters.

lakill Farm

littelady wrote: »

My hubby is in the process of taking over the family farm. Now three of his sisters are looking for sites with intent to start building as soon as possible. My hubby is raging to the point he doesn't want to talk about it. How would you feel.

I would be happy. 3 sites off a farm.


Greedy husband. P45

kurtainsider

cjpm wrote: »

Local guy here was getting farm transferred into his name finally. He's in his 50's.

Was being done privately between himself and father.

Local non-neanderthal heard and decided to ring up sisters who are long gone. Settled elsewhere etc.

They both came back looking for their cut. Massive row after breaking out now!!!

So the sisters should have been disinherited on the sly - is that your point? Also - I fixed your post there.

Tell me how

kurtainsider wrote:

So the sisters should have been disinherited on the sly - is that your point? Also - I fixed your post there.

That is literally putting words in someone's mouth.......

You might disagree, but, that's partly what a discussion is.

K.G.

jayus 11 pages in 2 days.everyone relax .bottom line you are only here for a bit so ye may as well get along.worry about 197 not the three

tanko

K.G. wrote: »

jayus 11 pages in 2 days.everyone relax .bottom line you are only here for a bit so ye may as well get along.worry about 197 not the three

True, whatever about the rights or wrongs of this particular case its interesting how some people who never show the slightest bit of interest in farming get so worked up when there's sites involved.

Wildly Boaring

tanko wrote: »

True, whatever about the rights or wrongs of this particular case its interesting how some people who never show the slightest bit of interest in farming get so worked up when there's sites involved.

But why wouldn't they.

The "slightest bit of interest in farming" seems to always be thrown at the sisters in these situations.

I know daughters who drove 8 miles each way during their lunch hour to make their dads lunch.

I have a mother who gave up full time work to look after her mother 3 days a week.

I have an aunt did the same.

I have cousin looked after her little brothers and sisters from about 12 or 13 so dad could farm and her mam work.

None of these had any interest in farming. 2 inherited sites. Would you begrudge any of them one?

Also my wife has no interest in her dads business. He has already told her and the siblings their inheritance. It'll essentially sell off the business as none have the remotest interest. Should it all have been left to the son as he used help when he was 16?

Stratvs

This is clearly not about the money. It was never about the money. Neither the value of the farm he is getting nor the value of the sites the sisters want. The loss of 3 acres in a 200 acre farm would make negligible impact on income. The return on investment per acre in a dairy farm would hardly be 3% and for tillage much less.

The issue is the son appeared to expect ALL the land and nothing less. I find it hard to believe that there was not some little thought in his head long before now that his siblings would be expected to be provided for. Provision of sites for children is as much a part of farming as the expectation he would get the farm in the first place. While not a farmer, I've a number of farming friends some now retired having passed on to next generation and some the next generation themselves. In every single case that I can think of where there were siblings, they got sites. ( not just the girls by the way ) The parents expected it to be done. And if they didn't do it before transfer it was understood that the transferee would deal with it. And some of those farms were an awful lot smaller than 200 acres.

It would be a sad ( but unfortunately not uncommon ) situation that he would be distanced from his siblings over this. As one poster said life is indeed short and while family can be both a blessing and a nightmare, what is it all for if we can't do some good for family.

fergus1001

McGaggs wrote: »

With that attitude, wouldn't any children other than the eldest son also be "like ploughing another mans field for him"?

yeah all children bar the first born son are to be thrown off a cliff at birth


he sounds like a stand up guy though :pac:

Dunedin

I have read through this thread with both amusement and sadness. Amused that some seem to have such a high sense of entitlement and sadness in that such matters are viewed that it is worth starting a family feud over it (and it'll be no other way no matter what people say if it's not). I think that this particular case is extreme in that there are 200 acres in the holding.

I accept that we don't have the detail i.e. how much road frontage, how does the sites relate to the farm yard, where does the son intend to build, are there outfarms which would easily accommodate sites with minimal disruption to the farm, etc.

One other point that is often made and I don't fully accept, especially in todays world. That a son or daughter is 'kept' at home whilst others are sent off and given an education. My college days refer to mid 90's but in every single scenario with my friends, male or female, any of them that wanted to go to college went and those that didn't go, that was their own decision. any parent would be crazy to keep a child at home and deny them an education especially in today's diminishing farming incomes. Even allow it to be a profitable dairy farm, a college degree can be as little as 3 years and most students come home weekends and that is where they can give a hand on the farm.

notwithstanding any of the above, if any of my three young bucks never set foot on the farm but still look for a site (obviously to build and not sell!!), they will get one as I think it's a bad day when you cant look after your own and try and give them the best start in life as possible.

crossman47

I,m not going into the rights and wrongs of this but it illustrates another issue. No wonder we have a problem with one off housing (environmental, broadband provision, etc) when every farmer's child feels entitled to build a house on the farm. Only those farming the land should get planning for one off housing on a farm.

Eric Cartman

Theres also another possibility here , does the son want to live near the daughters ? His life is kind of fixed in that location but they may all he completely different people / not really get on and he doesnt want them next door, very little he can do about that if he hands over acres of land.


Also , Im no farmer so somebody else will have to answer , would there be much of a difference in any kind of grants / herd sizes etc.. between 198 acres and 200 , does 200 get you over some magic threshold for something.

NIMAN

I only read the 1st and last pages on this thread, but for me the son is being TOTALLY unreasonable in all this.

He should thank his lucky stars he's being given a farm and only has to give up 1.5% of it to his siblings to satisfy their want.

qwerty ui op

Cashmerewrap wrote: »

I couldn't agree with this comment more. I have lived this situation and I am the 'sister except my dad ended up in his grave and my mum is a quivering mess because of my greedy, abusive brother. My advice to the sisters is to get all this sown up very carefully before anything is transferred. Blind faith in my brother and a very poor solicitor left my parents with absolutely no income, 3 siblings left out in the cold who worked endlessly on the farm for years and most sadly a broken family. My brother is in a relationship with a nasty woman who has fuelled all of this. It breaks my heart to think of my poor dad who worked so hard sitting crying in his chair the day before he died. I'm sorry for the emotive reply, this is all very raw. Your husband needs to see what is important. Mine couldn't see beyond his greed and he is now cut off from his family and not liked in the local community because of his actions, some things are more important than land and machinery.

I'd be genuinely interested to know how did it come to this?
When you consider all the documents and rigmarole you'd have do to transfer a family farm.
Was holding back part of the land ever even considered?

did anyone make this suggestion to hold back some land ? ( family members, extended family members, agri advisors,accountants, solicitors, neighbour's, friends) and if so how what was your fathers response to such suggestion?

In order to transfer a farm don't you have to do farm training course in some form, and in this isn't there a hole section that deals with farm succession. Doesn't this topic come up in the media time and time again.
Even if your brother was totally willing to transfer back what was already recently transfered to him, isn't that a very awkward time consuming costly way of doing things.

Green&Red

OP, out of curiosity i clicked on your profile, since you've quiet a number of posts. Nosiness to see what you normally posted about, yes I'm a terrible person.

One of your first posts on boards was about this topic in the legal section

Hi all,
I'll keep this as short as I can. Firstly appreciate you taking the time to read this. We have a farming business which would involve tractors and trucks on the road which is currently fine as we're very rural no neighbours! My sister-in law and hubby want to build on the land we have no problem wanting to give them a site as they have family and need to settle but the hubby is a bit of a complainer were afraid he could make life awkward should we ever have as much as a tiff with him he would make a complaint about noise on the road or muck on the road ( which we do clean as soon as we can) anyway is there a side letter / clause we could implement with handing them over the free site. Thanks.

It seems this has been in the offing for almost three years? Your husband has changed his tune apparently, is that because its three sites instead of one?

In both cases you seem to be laying the blame on your sister-in-law and their family?

For what its worth it seems that both you and your husband are quiet blinkered in this, like I said yesterday maybe try and take on board some of what has been said here and put yourself in your sister-in-laws position

fatalll

Hi op,
I think his dad needs to hand over nice size site to your husbands sisters.
Your husband needs to cop on ...its just two bloody sites
they are his sisters.He does not have a sense of entitlement, he is no better or worse than his sisters, I appreciate that he has worked the farm and may be due a bit more as he seems to have a love for the land from the little info supplied...
Any decent brother would even offer the sites to his family members without even being asked by them.
They are and will be family always.
Live life and be happy no need for petty squabbles about a small portion of the land.
You never know when you may need your family.

qwerty ui op

crossman47 wrote: »

I,m not going into the rights and wrongs of this but it illustrates another issue. No wonder we have a problem with one off housing (environmental, broadband provision, etc) when every farmer's child feels entitled to build a house on the farm. Only those farming the land should get planning for one off housing on a farm.

The vast majority of houses build on .5 acre are either-
within 15 mins drive of a decent size town
or
10 mins drive to a village/small town but this is somewhat compensated for by being only 30/40mins from dublin cork limerick or galway.

New builds are now so expensive that it's rare for people to go for that option outside this range. I know several sons and daughters of land owners who could get planning and free site but don't bother because they're not gonna pour 200k+ onto the ground in the ass end of nowhere

lalababa

bfa1509 wrote: »

Oh dear, oh dear, where do I even start with this!

How about all of you think for one second about the back-breaking work this man's father, mother, grandfather, grandmother put into the farm to now see it be divided up amongst three sisters who probably have little to no intention of doing a tap of work to help keep the farm going?

Do you realise how less feasible a farm is as a soul income the smaller it gets?

Whoever takes on the responsibility of looking after the farm gets the whole farm. End of story. (Unless of course the parents feel that a plot of land should be set aside for each of the daughters, that's completely up to them)

You are all talking as though he is inheriting a fortune. Chances of him selling the farm are slim.

Yerra go on out dat with yer scour.

fergus1001

Following on from a thread ongoing id like to launch a poll to get a concensus on the "giving a site to siblings" matter

Knex*

mf240 wrote: »

This whole tread is depressing.

It's absolutely madness.

You help out your own family and friends, that's what anyone with a shred of integrity and decency does.

Not trying to maximise your profit and treat your own family as second class members. You're all in this together, for better or worse.

Half an acre each in 200 acres of land. How is this even a question. I really hope he sees the light here, for his own sake.

fergus1001

started a poll to see what the general consensus is on this mater is

https://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2057922540

beertons

If ya wanted to spite them, give them the most shaded or wettest ground.

Pete_Cavan

Stratvs wrote: »

Provision of sites for children is as much a part of farming as the expectation he would get the farm in the first place.

This type of attitude is the root cause of many of the problems in agricultural in this country. Too many people see a farm as a means of achieving an over-sized countryside house and romantic ideas of living amongst nature. The actual result is farms being carved up so that they are no longer sustainable and the residents of the houses constantly bitching about a lack of facilities, broadband, decline of the local town, social insolation, commuting times to work, etc. when they chose to live in a remote location removed from the town and all facilities and having to spend their life as a taxi driver for the children who need to be driven everywhere.

This undermines the farming industry and is the cause of many of the problems facing rural communities. Farming is about farming and nothing to do with providing land for over-sized houses for people living a predominantly urban lifestyle.