How do people feel about being called love?

BBFAN

I've recently started a new job in a quite senior position and there's on guy on the management team who has continuously called me love.

The other day I told him not to call me love and he continues to do so and then correct himself with an eyeroll as if to say "oh now I have to be careful". Really pissing me off because I believe in being straight up and telling people if there's something you don't like before going to the owners of the business but this is pissing me of now.

What do AH's think?

pumpkin4life

It's normal Dublin slang and you're overreacting massively.

skooterblue2

Better than being called a peeping tom by the lady next door.

BBFAN

pumpkin4life wrote: »

It's normal Dublin slang and you're overreacting massively.

Except I don't live in Dublin and we're talking about a work situation?

Wibbs

It's a pretty good sign that society has never been safer and generally lacking in bad stuff and that most people's lives are pretty good when being called "love" winds someone up.

BBFAN

skooterblue2 wrote: »

Better than being called a peeping tom by the lady next door.

What relevance has this nonsense?

Signore Fancy Pants

It's more than likely just a colloquialism, don't take it personally.

eviltwin

Very unprofessional imo. I've no problem with slang but if someone asks you to stop it's good manners to do so.

Stark

No need to get hysterical love

BBFAN

Do people on here genuinely refer to people in the workplace as love? Tell the truth now?

I mean someone who is in a senior position.

vectorvictor

It's a dub thing that's endearing to half the city and insulting to the other half.

Got called "pet" in Argos a few months back, as a bloke I didnt know what to do with that. Though regardless of gender I think it's pretty off even if if the tone is right and I know it's well intentioned

skooterblue2

BBFAN wrote: »

What relevance has this nonsense?

This is After hours not personal problem, it open season.
Bet you are great craic to work with!!

meeeeh

I hate it. It is the most patronising, annoying way to address someone unless done by someone in ther eighties or older (clear sign they are loosing it in that case).

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

BBFAN wrote: »

Except I don't live in Dublin and we're talking about a work situation?

I have heard it used regularly - and not near Dublin. Women use it as much as men and it's a harmless expression. One woman I worked with always said 'love' to men and another, a man, had a habit of saying it to women. It's a friendly term of endearment, like 'pet' 'dear' 'mate' 'chuck'. Any annoyance at it is being pretty petty in my book. It's a habit with people; go with it.

richiepurgas

If you were in Cork you'd be called "girl", no matter what your age.
How would you like that ?

eviltwin

BBFAN wrote: »

Do people on here genuinely refer to people in the workplace as love? Tell the truth now?

I mean someone who is in a senior position.

I'd call my team all sorts, we get along well and can take a joke. We give as good as we get. Different story with the suits upstairs though.

AllForIt

pumpkin4life wrote: »

It's normal Dublin slang and you're overreacting massively.

Exactly. Its a manner of speaking in certain geographical areas. Like in the way I say Oh My God when I dont belive in God at all. Yes its that trivial. She is in her rights to ask anyone to refrain from useing the term but Im rather uncomfortable with the reasone one would do so as if it was used to belittle the recepient of it.

BBFAN

skooterblue2 wrote: »

This is After hours not personal problem, it open season.
Bet you are great craic to work with!!

Yeah, probably posted in the wrong forum given the general atmosphere in AH.

neonsofa

Not as bad as "good girl"

BBFAN

eviltwin wrote: »

I'd call my team all sorts, we get along well and can take a joke. We give as good as we get. Different story with the suits upstairs though.

Well take I it I'm one of the "suits upstairs", as you call them. Do you still call them love?

Signore Fancy Pants

BBFAN wrote: »

Do people on here genuinely refer to people in the workplace as love? Tell the truth now?

I mean someone who is in a senior position.

Calm your tits.

You are not being called "gorgeous" or something sleezy by this person, its a colloquialism.

If you find it unprofessional, correct him a few more times. It can be difficult to change a habit.

Sounds like you just want him fired tbh.

vectorvictor

BBFAN wrote: »

Yeah, probably posted in the wrong forum given the general atmosphere in AH.

Sometimes when you have a problem with everyone and everything, it's you not them.

Relax sweetheart

eviltwin

BBFAN wrote: »

Well take I it I'm one of the "suits upstairs", as you call them. Do you still call them love?

Absolutely not. My boss is fairly down to earth and would probably not have an issue with it but even so it's not the impression I'd like to make.

AllForIt

Its also possible one would use it as a term of respect and validation so I can't see what's so terrible about that.

skooterblue2

Doesnt this remind you of the time Chandler from Friends boss used to pat his bum after a meeting? And all the other associates were jealous. I used to have an older superior and she called me "Honey" and we got on grand

meeeeh

I don't think it even matters what position someone has, I would not dream of calling anyone at work love.

Signore Fancy Pants

BBFAN wrote: »

Yeah, probably posted in the wrong forum given the general atmosphere in AH.

General atmosphere?

Relax cupcake.

BBFAN

Chewbacca wrote: »

Calm your tits.

You are not being called "gorgeous" or something sleezy by this person, its a colloquialism.

If you find it unprofessional, correct him a few more times. It can be difficult to change a habit.

Sounds like you just want him fired tbh.

Absolutely don't want him fired. Why would I?

vectorvictor

BBFAN wrote: »

Absolutely don't want him fired. Why would I?

You ok hun?

BBFAN

vectorvictor wrote: »

Sometimes when you have a problem with everyone and everything, it's you not them.

Relax sweetheart

Where do you get the impression I have a problem with everyone and everything?

Squatter

I share your concern about him calling you 'love' ...........











































.......... it's pretty clear that he should really be calling you "precious".

BBFAN

It's hilarious in here. Yeah I did post in the wrong forum. I'll move to work problems to get opinions from people who actually work.

Samuel T. Cogley

BBFAN wrote: »

What relevance has this nonsense?

It's AH, there's a work and Jobs forum if you wanted a lack of nonsense, love.

andekwarhola

Wouldn't agree with some of the responses. Certainly don't think it's an issue outside a work environment.

Where and when I was brought up, it was a very common thing and I personally don't have an issue with it. My mother does it constantly to all sorts of people.

In work though, from a senior colleague and after been asked not to do it, it's inappropriate.

Purple Mountain

Ah howiya love?

Roger Hassenforder

BBFAN wrote: »

Do people on here genuinely refer to people in the workplace as love? Tell the truth now?

I mean someone who is in a senior position.

*clears throat.
Ahem

Its unacceptable in a workplace. Particularly if you've asked him. You've a choice, ask him again and take it to HR if he persists, see how it goes. Might not go as well as hoped. Might end in constructive dismissal and a payout.

Not defending him, but he sounds a bit old school gob****e, maybe poor education and development, but i'd ask him again, say exactly how it annoys you. If he persists, start doing something trivial that annoys him, by the sounds of it i doubt he'll make a deal of it, and maybe change behaviour, or dust down the CV and move on.

Dyr

Ask one of the other girls to look after your till so you can go and complain to HR

vectorvictor

BBFAN wrote: »

Where do you get the impression I have a problem with everyone and everything?

You are a judgemental twit judging by your posting style. You insulted and judged the whole of AH in one foul swoop with your working, tone, atmosphere comments etc..

Surprised you have a boss tbh , surely you should be a unemployable enough to be a "Self employed freelancer"

skooterblue2

Purple Mountain wrote: »

Ah howiya love?

A1 Sharon

august12

andekwarhola wrote:

In work though, from a senior colleague and after been asked not to do it, it's inappropriate.

Completely agree here, it's not appropriate in the work place, especially from a senior staff member.

pumpkin4life

If I was your manager I would actually be very concerned with this being an issue with you to be honest.

The problem with work based political correctness is not about about being offensive, but the inability for people to call out dumb decisions in the workplace due to having a label stuck on your head, sexist/racist/homophobic etc. This leads to a decline in the ability for your organization to perform and compete with other companies in the same field.

A lad I know used to work for a company that is trying to push for 50% of women in management. Apparently their revenue has been declining for the past couple of years, but it's a big unsolvable mystery why exactly that is.

:rolleyes:

meeeeh

Roger Hassenforder wrote: »

*clears throat.
Ahem

Its unacceptable in a workplace. Particularly if you've asked him. You've a choice, ask him again and take it to HR if he persists, see how it goes. Might not go as well as hoped. Might end in constructive dismissal and a payout.

Why would any company let someone go with a nice cheque just because some moron can't address people by their name.

KKGirlatheart

Would really annoy me tbh, hate love/pet etc. Worked with a guy who always called the female collegues 'darling' it was just said as slang, but he didn't call all his male colleagues 'mate (worked in London for years so it was Cockney way of talking) Think we jointly called him out on it in a meeting one day in a humorous way.....that ended it

Bad form to continue it when you did ask him to stop. Maybe you should start calling him 'pet' for a while just to make a point!

Signore Fancy Pants

BBFAN wrote: »

It's hilarious in here. Yeah I did post in the wrong forum. I'll move to work problems to get opinions from people who actually work.

LOL

You are in a senior role but cant handle a very simple workplace issue, run to the internet, post in an inappropriate forum, dont like the responses and then get pissy about it.

You also want to bring this non issue to the business owners. That is not an appropriate action from a competent senior appointment holder. Deal with the issue yourself love.

Your leadership seems weak, If I was the business owner and I was approached with this trivial nonsense, I would be wondering if there was someone else for the job.

But what do we know? Sure arent we all unemployed in AH?

Best of luck with your employment in a senior role.

vectorvictor

pumpkin4life wrote: »

A lad I know used to work for a company that is trying to push for 50% of women in management. Apparently their revenue has been declining for the past couple of years, but it's a big unsolvable mystery why exactly that is.

:rolleyes:

That's more of a problem with filling quotas for the sake of it than gender performance to be fair

riclad

i think its rude to call someone love in the work place,
its sexist, let love be used by people who are dating or in a relationship.
When you call someone love its like saying i like you. you must like me.
it could be sexist too.
its usually a man saying it to a woman,
its worse if the man is above the other person eg a manager talking to a secretary.
This is not the 70.s ,we should be able to refer to other people in a professional manner .
We have moved on a bit since then .
Things change ,people no longer smoke at work .Most people don,t drink
and then drive home .
Its patronising ,like you should not call someone older girl,
any female over 18 is a woman.
the problem is if you are in charge of someone,
They may be insulted but they may be afraid to complain about it it.
theres no point in saying i live in a certain area ,
so That means i can act like a moron or an idiot
and call anyone anything i like.

Pac1Man

Calm your tits.

Squatter

meeeeh wrote: »

Why would any company let someone go with a nice cheque just because some moron can't address people by their name.

Generally speaking, it's a judgement call made on the basis that it's the better option.

vectorvictor

riclad wrote: »

i think its rude to call someone love in the work place,
its sexist, let love be used by people who are dating or in a relationship.
When you call someone love its like saying i like you. you must like me.
it could be sexist too.
its usually a man saying it to a woman,
its worse if the man is above the other person eg a manager talking to a secretary.
This is not the 70.s ,we should be able to refer to other people in a professional manner .
We have moved on a bit since then .
Things change ,people no longer smoke at work .Most people don,t drink
and then drive home .
Its patronising ,like you should not call someone older girl,
any female over 18 is a woman.
the problem is if you are in charge of someone,
They may be insulted but they may be afraid to complain about it it.
theres no point in saying i live in a certain area ,
so That means i can act like a moron or an idiot
and call anyone anything i like.

Ok chicken we got the message

BBFAN

Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »

It's AH, there's a work and Jobs forum if you wanted a lack of nonsense, love.

I've posted there already because I realised that AH was a stupid place to ask for a realistic response.

Delighted you think you made a funny joke though Samuel. See how easy it is to call someone by their name?

Peter Denham

One of my lecturers always calls me love or pet. I find it endearing as she's old enough and it's just in her vocabulary.

Also there's a woman in my local shop that calls everyone love. Never entered my mind as being offensive. Maybe it's different for women to be called it.