How do people feel about being called love?

kildare lad

Is he gay??? Ive a gay uncle and he calls everyone love or dear.

vectorvictor

BBFAN wrote: »

I've posted there already because I realised that AH was a stupid place to ask for a realistic response.

Delighted you think you made a funny joke though Samuel. See how easy it is to call someone by their name?

It would be pretty embrassing for everyone here (and you) to address you as big brother fan surely?

rafatoni

Dont get a job in lannddaaann OP they use love and darling all the time even in big corp companies.

Klonker

OP, have you a senior / important job in the company? Don't think you've mentioned it yet.

Pyr0

Doesn't bother me at all! In fact, i try not let pointless things wind me up in life.

meeeeh

There was (is) a company where sales people called everyone pal. It went down really badly with everyone and we dealt with them only when we absolutely had to. It's not a gender thing, people have names, use them.

BBFAN

KKGirlatheart wrote: »

Would really annoy me tbh, hate love/pet etc. Worked with a guy who always called the female collegues 'darling' it was just said as slang, but he didn't call all his male colleagues 'mate (worked in London for years so it was Cockney way of talking) Think we jointly called him out on it in a meeting one day in a humorous way.....that ended it

Bad form to continue it when you did ask him to stop. Maybe you should start calling him 'pet' for a while just to make a point!

That's precisely my argument, this guy doesn't call males by any generic name.

sjb25

BBFAN wrote: »

I've recently started a new job in a quite senior position and there's on guy on the management team who has continuously called me love.

The other day I told him not to call me love and he continues to do so and then correct himself with an eyeroll as if to say "oh now I have to be careful". Really pissing me off because I believe in being straight up and telling people if there's something you don't like before going to the owners of the business but this is pissing me of now.

What do AH's think?

Move to Wexford and you will be “hun” male or female

grindle

Wibbs wrote: »

It's a pretty good sign that society has never been safer and generally lacking in bad stuff and that most people's lives are pretty good when being called "love" winds someone up.

Counterpoint - with the knowledge that we're living in an epoch of safety, people who're getting píssed off about the minutae of daily interactions are actually testing boundaries to see where the balance should lie. Bringing about a new stage of intellectual development where we all become the most boring bastards ever back-and-forthing inane "doesn't-really-matter" horseshít on a niche website populated by drunk/drugged/lonely/pathetic/bored/fidgety Irish citizens.

I don't personally like getting called "pet", "love", "hun", etc etc - but I'm well aware they don't mean harm and that my annoyance should throw the benefits of my life into sharp relief.

"This is what I'm pissed off by?"

Progress tends to slow as it advances, maybe this is the interpersonal side of Moore's Law. We've gotten through the worst struggles and now we as a species have to navigate all the most boring crap (obv. whilst ignoring the mountains of shít we're going to hand to our kids of course).

Rubberchikken

In a workplace especially after youve asked that it stop, is unprofessional.
If a person you work with is too lazy/ignorant to use your name then they should at least keep the 'love' for those that dont mind being spoken to in a patronizing way.

I dont appreciate it in a shop environment. Use nothing before using that term imo.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Meh I’ve been called worse. It amuses me though when in shops and the cashier will say “good girl” when I’m either paying or taking my change. I’m 30

Squatter

BBFAN wrote: »

I've posted there already because I realised that AH was a stupid place to ask for a realistic response.

Translation: I desperately want people to agree with me and I reckon that there's a far better chance of that happening if I transfer my whinge to a different forum.

BBFAN

Peter Denham wrote: »

One of my lecturers always calls me love or pet. I find it endearing as she's old enough and it's just in her vocabulary.

Also there's a woman in my local shop that calls everyone love. Never entered my mind as being offensive. Maybe it's different for women to be called it.

I don't find it offensive at all if it's someone in the local shop. That's a different scenario altogether than a work scenario.

Surprised but not shocked that people don't understand that.

Peter Denham

BBFAN wrote: »

I don't find it offensive at all if it's someone in the local shop. That's a different scenario altogether than a work scenario.

Surprised but not shocked that people don't understand that.

Ah ok. I assumed given the thread title we were open discussing every scenario. What about college like I also mentioned? Also the shop worker is working, so why is it more acceptable when speaking to customers?

Surreptitious

I used to be called 'babe' in an all male environment. I didn't take much notice.

BohsCeltic

BBFAN wrote: »

Do people on here genuinely refer to people in the workplace as love? Tell the truth now?

I mean someone who is in a senior position.

The only person I called love was my GF. Hi love e.t.c.
Sometimes I didn't mean to say it but it just came naturally.
Some people take it out of context though too.

pauliebdub

It's patronising and disrespectful. It's fine to use such terms ( mate, lad, boyo, Hun, love) etc with friends and family but not at work. Call a person by their name in a professional setting. I've rarely come across this anywhere I've worked

BBFAN

Surreptitious wrote: »

I used to be called 'babe' in an all male environment. I didn't take much notice.

Sounds like you were a bit of walkover so. You let people call you babe in a work environment?

BBFAN

pauliebdub wrote: »

It's patronising and disrespectful. It's fine to use such terms ( mate, lad, boyo, Hun, love) etc with friends and family but not at work. Call a person by their name in a professional setting. I've rarely come across this anywhere I've worked

Thank god I'm not on my own.

Peter Denham

BBFAN wrote: »

Thank god I'm not on my own.

You said it's fine in a shop environment but not in work. Curious as to why you don't class working in a local shop as work?

Surreptitious

BBFAN wrote: »

Sounds like you were a bit of walkover so. You let people call you babe in a work environment?

How am I a walkover? It didn't offend me.

magentis

richiepurgas wrote: »

If you were in Cork you'd be called "girl", no matter what your age.
How would you like that ?

And what's wrong with that boy?

The Legend Of Kira

In a previous job the manager would often fellows darling or love, it never bothered me. I think what the OP is getting at she might feel he,s a bit overfamilair, she said she " told him not to call me love and he continues to do so " . He should have some tact if something he says is making a co worker uncomfortable to stop saying it.

BBFAN

Darren Agreeable Machine wrote: »

I have heard it used regularly - and not near Dublin. Women use it as much as men and it's a harmless expression. One woman I worked with always said 'love' to men and another, a man, had a habit of saying it to women. It's a friendly term of endearment, like 'pet' 'dear' 'mate' 'chuck'. Any annoyance at it is being pretty petty in my book. It's a habit with people; go with it.

Do you call your boss love?

Dtp1979

Jesus relax sweetheart.


I’m kidding. You have a point. You also have a name and it should be used.

Peter Denham

magentis wrote: »

And what's wrong with that boy?

It's only in a work environment that it's offensive. Not every work environment mind, just the OP's work environment.

eviltwin

BBFAN wrote: »

Sounds like you were a bit of walkover so. You let people call you babe in a work environment?

If you talk to your staff the way you do to posters here I reckon you've bigger issues than someone calling you love.

Zorya

grindle wrote: »

. Bringing about a new stage of intellectual development where we all become the most boring bastards ever back-and-forthing inane "doesn't-really-matter" horseshít on a niche website populated by drunk/drugged/lonely/pathetic/bored/fidgety Irish citizens.

).

Which one are you?

I'm going for fidgety - had a cocoa watching a fast paced film and now I'm wired.

BBFAN

It's hilarious how people here can't distinguish between a work environment and a social environment.

darlett

Peter Denham wrote: »

You said it's fine in a shop environment but not in work. Curious as to why you don't class working in a local shop as work?

Because presumably the customer doesnt work for the shop.

Think its a particularly naff noun to use for a co-worker and it would give me the heeby jeebies from a work colleague. If not your partner only really non cringe coming from old doting dears.

Peter Denham

BBFAN wrote: »

It's hilarious how people here can't distinguish between a work environment and a social environment.

I offered an example of college lecturer and a shop owner and you dismissed these as not work, but these people were working.... is it just office work you mean? Or is it only an issue when it's between colleagues?

Surreptitious

BBFAN wrote: »

It's hilarious how people here can't distinguish between a work environment and a social environment.

Maybe people find it easier to get through a tough day by having a bit of banter. You could do with loosening the fck up tbh.

BBFAN

Peter Denham wrote: »

I offered an example of college lecturer and a shop owner and you dismissed these as not work, but these people were working.... is it just office work you mean? Or is it only an issue when it's between colleagues?

Of course it's only an issue when it's between colleagues, don't know why you don't understand that son?

Peter Denham

BBFAN wrote: »

Of course it's only an issue when it's between colleagues, don't know why you don't understand that son?

So not an issue between a teacher and student? Or between a professional and a customer? What about a doctor and a patient?

Why the distinction out of interest?

BBFAN

Surreptitious wrote: »

Maybe people find it easier to get through a tough day by having a bit of banter. You could do with loosening the fck up tbh.

From someone who doesn't think it's any problem that people refer to them as babe I'm not a bit worried about your opinion.

vectorvictor

BBFAN wrote: »

don't know why you don't understand that son?

If you can't beat em...

angel eyes 2012

My boss (female) says good girl when I complete a significant task. At first I was appalled but didn't want to say anything as she is due to retire soon enough and we get on grand most of the time. Now I almost listen out for it and smile to myself - it's not worth getting annoyed about. Her boss (male) and in charge of the overall place calls me "darling". Again, I let it go over my head. I'm in a senior management role by the way.

As long as they are happy, then I'm happy. I've learnt one or two things in the workplace along the way, and "choose your battles" is a big one. "Actions speak louder than words" is another. This mightn't make sense to others but it works for me and I'm happy enough going into work most days.

Surreptitious

I remember doing a group project placement in a place where we had to share the toilets with men, there were only two of us females there. On a Monday morning you'd be subject to a feed of farts and scutter and grunts. They had page three gals stuck to the walls there covered in sperm and what about it? People are too PC these days.

BBFAN

angel eyes 2012 wrote: »

My boss (female) says good girl when I complete a significant task. At first I was appalled but didn't want to say anything as she is due to retire soon enough and we get on grand most of the time. Now I almost listen out for it and smile to myself - it's not worth getting annoyed about. Her boss (male) and in charge of the overall place calls me "darling". Again, I let it go over my head. I'm in a senior management role by the way.

As long as they are happy, then I'm happy. I've learnt one or two things in the workplace along the way, and "choose your battles" is a big one. "Actions speak louder than words" is another. This mightn't make sense to others but it works for me and I'm happy enough going into work most days.

I'm so happy that you feel able to be treated like an a slave. However ,I'm not, I'm the boss in this case.

It's so wonderfully endearing to be addressed as 'love' by a glorified numpty.

Peter Denham

BBFAN wrote: »

I'm so happy that you feel able to be treated like an a slave. However ,I'm not, I'm the boss in this case.

Doesn't sound like it, your employee doesn't seem to take you too seriously anyway.

BBFAN

Surreptitious wrote: »

I remember doing a group project placement in a place where we had to share the toilets with men, there were only two of us females there. On a Monday morning you'd be subject to a feed of farts and scutter and grunts. They had page three gals stuck to the walls there covered in sperm and what about it? People are too PC these days.

Hmm, yes, it's PC to not put up with this disgusting crap just to make a daily wage.

I feel sorry for you Surrepitious that you think putting up with this crap is the only way to make to a living. Fortunately I'm not so desperate.

vectorvictor

The biggest problem with this thread is employers needing to tell everyone they are on the SMT to avoid churn.

Most directors know that the SMT is the paygrade above bin changer but strangely it works enough for the snowflakes who need to feel "valued"

Omackeral

BBFAN wrote: »

Well take I it I'm one of the "suits upstairs", as you call them. Do you still call them love?

I read that as ''sluts upstairs''. What an interesting workplace that would be!

Surreptitious

BBFAN wrote: »

Hmm, yes, it's PC to not put up with this disgusting crap just to make a daily wage.

I feel sorry for you Surrepitious that you think putting up with this crap is the only way to make to a living. Fortunately I'm not so desperate.

I actually sweep roads for a living, didn't finish school and only have one leg. Peace out.

BBFAN

vectorvictor wrote: »

The biggest problem with this thread is employers needing to tell everyone they are on the SMT to avoid churn.

Most directors know that the SMT is the paygrade above bin changer but strangely enough it works enough for the snowflakes who need to feel "valued"

What are you on about now hun?

yabadabado

Call him boy from now on.Should sort it all out .

Pac1Man

I'm the boss. I'm the gaffer. The book stops with me.

BBFAN

yabadabado wrote: »

Call him boy from now on.Should sort it all out .

It's actually a great idea, think I will.

vectorvictor

BBFAN wrote: »

What are you on about now hun?

That you're a little pleb in a big pond or possibly vice versa