How do people feel about being called love?

eviltwin

BBFAN wrote: »

Hmm, yes, it's PC to not put up with this disgusting crap just to make a daily wage.

I feel sorry for you Surrepitious that you think putting up with this crap is the only way to make to a living. Fortunately I'm not so desperate.

I'd say you're great craic on the office nights out......

Peter Denham

BBFAN wrote: »

What are you on about now hun?

How come you're not able to provide a reason why you feel it's appropriate for a lecturer to call adult students love, but between colleagues it's disgusting?

BBFAN

Surreptitious wrote: »

I actually sweep roads for a living, didn't finish school and only have one leg. Peace out.

Alright son.

Zorya

BBFAN wrote: »

I'm so happy that you feel able to be treated like an a slave. However ,I'm not, I'm the boss in this case.

They are not being treated like a slave. People just get into habits - I don't say pet or love or dear but I've a few pals who say such things completely unconsciously. I like being addressed randomly with endearments. If I really had a problem with it I would come up with some response that would both bring the event into sharp relief and maintain good humour. It's just so not worth getting worked up about given the actual real unbearable suffering many people face day in day out.

Omackeral

BBFAN wrote: »

From someone who doesn't think it's any problem that people refer to them as babe I'm not a bit worried about your opinion.

You're coming off as very defensive there, horsebox.

Wibbs

BBFAN wrote: »

It's hilarious in here. Yeah I did post in the wrong forum. I'll move to work problems to get opinions from people who actually work.

grindle wrote: »

Counterpoint - with the knowledge that we're living in an epoch of safety, people who're getting ped off about the minutae of daily interactions are actually testing boundaries to see where the balance should lie. Bringing about a new stage of intellectual development where we all become the most boring bastards ever back-and-forthing inane "doesn't-really-matter" horseshon a niche website populated by drunk/drugged/lonely/pathetic/bored/fidgety Irish citizens.

I don't personally like getting called "pet", "love", "hun", etc etc - but I'm well aware they don't mean harm and that my annoyance should throw the benefits of my life into sharp relief.

"This is what I'm pissed off by?"

Progress tends to slow as it advances, maybe this is the interpersonal side of Moore's Law. We've gotten through the worst struggles and now we as a species have to navigate all the most boring crap (obv. whilst ignoring the mountains of shwe're going to hand to our kids of course).

I'd agree with that alright G.

Peter Denham wrote: »

I offered an example of college lecturer and a shop owner and you dismissed these as not work, but these people were working.... is it just office work you mean? Or is it only an issue when it's between colleagues?

Offices are more likely to have HR depts P. A department whose sole purpose seems to be scowling. Often at eff all. Gotta justify their budget.

BBFAN wrote: »

I'm so happy that you feel able to be treated like an a slave. However ,I'm not, I'm the boss in this case.

A slave. :pac: Jesus BB, unclench. You're his boss? OK, contrary to popular belief a title doesn't(nor shouldn't) automatically engender respect. In many companies titles are often conferred more for longevity than efficiency. Respect is earned. Never mind that this guy most likely does respect your position and you and maybe this is how he shows it. If others under you report the same disquiet, then ramp it up to a second request.

BBFAN

Peter Denham wrote: »

How come you're not able to provide a reason why you feel it's appropriate for a lecturer to call adult students love, but between colleagues it's disgusting?

I don't think it's appropriate for lecturers to a call students love. When did I say that?

Omackeral

BBFAN wrote: »

I don't think it's appropriate for lecturers to a call students love. When did I say that?

Seriously, relax Chief.

Peter Denham

BBFAN wrote: »

I don't think it's appropriate for lecturers to a call students love. When did I say that?

Earlier on I offered this example and you dismissed it as a social setting.

I for one love my lecturer, very intelligent woman and really friendly. I don't feel degraded at all when she calls me love.

vectorvictor

Peter Denham wrote: »

Earlier on I offered this example and you dismissed it as a social setting.

I think the op has well demonstrated at this point that she has missed her weekly recovery meeting ...

Zorya

Omackeral wrote: »

You're coming off as very defensive there, horsebox.

Hahaha horsebox! Really laughed out loud

sydthebeat

I got called "mate" by a big burley bloke earlier.... And we've never even had sex!!

Should I be annoyed??

vectorvictor

sydthebeat wrote: »

I got called "mate" by a big burley bloke earlier.... And we've never even had sex!!

Should I be annoyed??

How's the beard rash ?

Omackeral

Zorya wrote: »

Hahaha horsebox! Really laughed out loud

It's all very this isn't it..?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuQK6t2Esng

BBFAN

Omackeral wrote: »

You're coming off as very defensive there, horsebox.

Alright son.

Naos

BBFAN wrote: »

From someone who doesn't think it's any problem that people refer to them as babe I'm not a bit worried about your opinion.

So you only take on-board opinions that align to your own?

I think Big Brother is a pile of ****e. Should I disregard everything you say because you watch Big Brother?

BBFAN

Omackeral wrote: »

Seriously, relax Chief.

Alright son.

Zorya

BBFAN wrote: »

Alright son.

It looks like you have found your solution. Ribbing and mocking can be helpful......son.

Peter Denham

BBFAN wrote: »

Alright son.

Do you think my lecturer is "disgusting" for calling me love? Or that I'm a "slave" for allowing her to call me that?

It's OK to say that it's fine when a woman says it, if that's what you've been avoiding.

Surreptitious

Peter Denham wrote: »

Do you think my lecturer is "disgusting" for calling me love? Or that I'm a "slave" for allowing her to call me that?

It's OK to say that it's fine when a woman says it, if that's what you've been avoiding.

You're a slave to love man, face up to it

BBFAN

Zorya wrote: »

It looks like you have found your solution. Ribbing and mocking can be helpful......son.

You're completely right, if I started referring to him as son then then there would very quickly be a solution to this problem but I wouldn't get so childish, it's not professional, full stop. Regardless of what the esteemed people of AH think.

vectorvictor

Peter Denham wrote: »

Do you think my lecturer is "disgusting" for calling me love? Or that I'm a "slave" for allowing her to call me that?

Well if we go by the op you are both vile humans...

As I said earlier I found getting called pet a bit off as a bloke too but it's probably more acceptable... you know what with having a willy and all..

From an older person I'd take it as cute and endearing, from someone my age or younger id take it as local lingo or trying to be familiar. Depending on who is saying it I might think it's weird or off but I'd put it down to the human condition of everyone being different, not offensive.

BBFAN

vectorvictor wrote: »

Well if we go by the op you are both vile humans...

As I said earlier I found getting called pet a bit off as a bloke too but it's probably more acceptable... you know what with having a willy and all..

From an older person I'd take it as cute and endearing, from someone my age or younger id take it as local lingo or trying to be familiar. Depending on who is saying it I might think it's weird or off but I'd put it down to the human condition of everyone being different, not offensive.

So how would you take it if your subordinate called you love so? Since you didn't like being called pet?

vectorvictor

BBFAN wrote: »

So how would you take it if your subordinate called you love so? Since you didn't like being called pet?

What's her bra size ?

Surreptitious

BBFAN wrote: »

So how would you take it if your subordinate called you love so? Since you didn't like being called pet?

Is that how you describe a human being? The stuff you have come out with on here is a lot more offensive than some random 'love' being thrown about.

BBFAN

vectorvictor wrote: »

What's her bra size ?

You're gas son, bet you get loads of likes. If that's what you're into that's great.

vectorvictor

Surreptitious wrote: »

Is that how you describe a human being? The stuff you have come out with on here is a lot more offensive than some random 'love' being thrown about.

The only senior job the op has is longest service on Jobseekers ... I think we've all figured that out bg now

vectorvictor

BBFAN wrote: »

You're gas son, bet you get loads of likes. If that's what you're into that's great.

This isn't Facebook babe

Yer Da sells Avon

It's not something I worry my pretty little head about.

con___manx1

I hate being called hun. It annoys the **** out of me can see where your coming from op.

Zorya

Yer Da sells Avon wrote: »

It's not something I worry my pretty little head about.

Brilliant

Always Tired

In the end, the love you take...

is equal to the love...

... you make

vectorvictor

Always Tired wrote: »

In the end, the love you take...

is equal to the love...

... you make

Id say all of that put together equals the square root of **** all

wakka12

Depends how its said, it can sound very endearing or very patronising

BBFAN

vectorvictor wrote: »

The only senior job the op has is longest service on Jobseekers ... I think we've all figured that out bg now

What are you on about? I've never been on jobseekers so I think you're just making **** up now are you?

vectorvictor

BBFAN wrote: »

What are you on about? I've never been on jobseekers so I think you're just making **** up now are you?

The people who find the need to point out they are "senior" are generally anything but.

My apologies I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume a huge **** up on the part of HR

The Pheasant2

BBFAN wrote: »

What are you on about? I've never been on jobseekers so I think you're just making **** up now are you?

Relax love, just because someone on the Internet says it doesn't make it true.

Surreptitious

Apparently I'm desperate for work anyway so if anyone needs a bit of sweeping done, hit me up.

BBFAN

The Pheasant2 wrote: »

Relax love, just because someone on the Internet says it doesn't make it true.

You okay son?

Peter Denham

Surreptitious wrote: »

Apparently I'm desperate for work anyway so if anyone needs a bit of sweeping done, hit me up.

I'm a desperate slave too for allowing my disgusting lecturer to call me love. I hope that intelligent and brilliant teacher loses her job.

mrmorgan

i see there are two threads about this!!

Prominent_Dawg

Recently overheard a man that got on the bus say to a fully grown woman "you don't mind that there darling" as he placed a buggy next to her.. I nearly got sick, thinking did he actually just say that

Franz Von Peppercorn

I was called “my lover” a few dozen times in England. Around Bristol area.

I have never recovered from that. I wasn’t their lover.

BBFAN

mrmorgan wrote: »

i see there are two threads about this!!

Because the good people from AH told me to fcuk off to work issues.

Apparently unless you're deadly serious you should fcuk off from AH.

Surreptitious

BBFAN wrote: »

If you're willing to allow people to call you babe in the work place then I think it's quite clear that you're desperate Surreptitous. Seriously? You think that anyone who can defer to anyone who calls them disgusting names is okay is not desperate then I think you may have a problem. :rolleyes:

You're really showing your true colours here. I hope you know that.

Peter Denham

Surreptitious wrote: »

You're really showing your true colours here. I hope you know that.

At least you can take comfort in the fact that you're a normal functioning human being in real life.

eviltwin

Peter Denham wrote: »

At least you can take comfort in the fact that you're a normal functioning human being in real life.

I'm taking comfort that I don't have to work with the OP.

BBFAN

Surreptitious wrote: »

You're really showing your true colours here. I hope you know that.

Of course I do babe.

dartboardio

Personally I hate it if it’s someone near your age/position. Different if it’s an elderly woman asking ‘what dye want love’ at the deli,

But if it’s someone in work in the same position as me or even higher saying ‘is that alright love’ I find it so condescending and threatening, and actually go about it to pop ‘love’ back into one of my questions at them.

Hate it. You are not being unreasonable

I’d make a point to show you are of higher authority.

It all depends on how it's used. Love from a person you know and like can be endearing but from someone else you may not like or be friendly with, it can be used in a patronizing way. I gather the OP feels it's the latter, and it's okay to be annoyed at being patronized.

It's not just the word, it's who uses it and in what way. Context and all that.