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Suicide

  • 26-11-2018 12:45pm
    #1
    Posts: 0


    Sadly, I now need my second hand of fingers to count how many people I know who have died from suicide. As the list has grown, the connection has become closer. I haven’t lost a family member but as good as.

    I’m not a professional when it comes to giving advice on mental health. I’m just a Mum, a wife, an aunty, your mates Mum. Those houses you hung around in when you were growing up contained people who love you. Even if you’ve now grown up and have families of your own.

    If you feel overwhelmed by life, please, PLEASE reach out to someone. Those mates that you mess around with, they are more than that. They care about you. That teacher who you think is so strict in class, confide in them. They may well be the person that understands how you are feeling more than you ever realised.

    To any parent or grandparent reading this - remind your kids (whatever age they are) that no problem is so big that they can’t tell you about it. Remember their well-being is much more important than any stigma you believe it will cause the family. If the last line reminds you of people you know, remind them of what’s important in life - LIFE ITSELF.

    Don’t feel alone x


«13

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,365 ✭✭✭✭McMurphy


    One thing that really and truly annoys the sh1t out of me, is when you hear people talking about people who committed suicide, and describe it as being a very selfish act.

    Bollocks.

    When someone is in such a dark and lonely place, and in so much turmoil that they feel their only way of stopping the pain and hurt is the finality of death, well then they're clearly not in the rightframe of mind that anyone might consider them as 'selfish'.

    Wish I could of had one or two conversations with some friends that did it.

    One in particular left this world with no prior warning signs, everything was grand as far as we all knew, and he left no note either, I still think about him all the time, wondering what on earth went wrong.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,148 ✭✭✭Ger Roe


    Sadly, I now need my second hand of fingers to count how many people I know who have died from suicide. As the list has grown, the connection has become closer. I haven’t lost a family member but as good as.

    I’m not a professional when it comes to giving advice on mental health. I’m just a Mum, a wife, an aunty, your mates Mum. Those houses you hung around in when you were growing up contained people who love you. Even if you’ve now grown up and have families of your own.

    If you feel overwhelmed by life, please, PLEASE reach out to someone. Those mates that you mess around with, they are more than that. They care about you. That teacher who you think is so strict in class, confide in them. They may well be the person that understands how you are feeling more than you ever realised.



    To any parent or grandparent reading this - remind your kids (whatever age they are) that no problem is so big that they can’t tell you about it. Remember their well-being is much more important than any stigma you believe it will cause the family. If the last line reminds you of people you know, remind them of what’s important in life - LIFE ITSELF.

    Don’t feel alone x

    The HSE offers training to help spot the signs and to be of help to those in distress. It's worth doing, just in case you might be able to make a difference some day.

    Details here : https://www.hse.ie/eng/services/list/4/mental-health-services/nosp/training/


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭sbsquarepants


    .

    Bollocks.

    .

    Yes and no.

    You're quite right, the majority who do it aren't in what you could call a "normal" frame of mind. But everybody knows the mess it leaves behind, it is ultimately a selfish act - whether you could blame them for doing it I don't know, I suppose each case is different, but blame or not it's usually selfish.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,175 ✭✭✭dense


    One thing that really and truly annoys the sh1t out of me, is when you hear people talking about people who committed suicide, and describe it as being a very selfish act.

    Bollocks.

    When someone is in such a dark and lonely place, and in so much turmoil that they feel their only way of stopping the pain and hurt is the finality of death, well then they're clearly not in the rightframe of mind that anyone might consider them as 'selfish'.

    Wish I could of had one or two conversations with some friends that did it.

    One in particular left this world with no prior warning signs, everything was grand as far as we all knew, and he left no note either, I still think about him all the time, wondering what on earth went wrong.

    That person may have decided that this life was not for them.

    We naturally tend to try to impose our own thoughts on people, who, for whatever succession of reasons have come to the conclusion that they are not interested in continuing on with what is a daily struggle for them.

    Even if you had known there was something wrong, you cannot now know that you could have changed anything.

    Trying to present someone in that position with a new proposal for how their perception of life is going to "improve" as a result of chatting to someone, be that someone a friend or a professional, over-simplifies the situation.

    By all means let it be known to those we care about that we are there for them if times are hard, but let's not expect to be able to conjure up some fantasy land that we think they'd have bought into if only we had had the opportunity to offer it to them.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,939 ✭✭✭goat2


    It is so sad, we all know someone that has decided they don't want to be here any longer.

    I do know of two that had suffered cancer, and when it returned with a prognosis of a short life, they decided they did not want to suffer any more pain.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,758 ✭✭✭Pelvis


    Yes and no.

    You're quite right, the majority who do it aren't in what you could call a "normal" frame of mind. But everybody knows the mess it leaves behind, it is ultimately a selfish act - whether you could blame them for doing it I don't know, I suppose each case is different, but blame or not it's usually selfish.
    People who do this feel it is better for everyone if they were to take their own life. They feel everyone would be better off if they weren't around anymore. That's the extent to which they are NOT in a normal frame of mind.

    Unbelievable really that this has to be pointed out every single time a thread like this comes up.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,175 ✭✭✭dense


    Yes and no.

    You're quite right, the majority who do it aren't in what you could call a "normal" frame of mind. But everybody knows the mess it leaves behind, it is ultimately a selfish act - whether you could blame them for doing it I don't know, I suppose each case is different, but blame or not it's usually selfish.

    It only leaves a mess behind because it is so taboo.

    If there were proper structures in place for people who do not wish to continue living and their families there might not be such a mess left behind.

    But to do any of that, we'd first have to respect the suicidal person's right to end their own life.

    We won't do that, even though we've done it for women wanting to end unborn children's lives and there is no difference in the two concepts, both end up with the same result, but the suicidal adult is called "selfish".


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    I read about a study done of people who were stopped from jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. They followed up many years later and I think only something like 5% of the people who were stopped attempted suicide again. The rest had either died of other causes or were still alive. It was a decent sample size too.

    That has really stayed with me. People can really be helped!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,221 ✭✭✭✭m5ex9oqjawdg2i


    Yes and no.

    You're quite right, the majority who do it aren't in what you could call a "normal" frame of mind. But everybody knows the mess it leaves behind, it is ultimately a selfish act - whether you could blame them for doing it I don't know, I suppose each case is different, but blame or not it's usually selfish.

    Completely disagree. What I find to be incredibly selfish is calling those that commit suicide selfish. Most people cannot comprehend what that person is going through. That's partially why there's so much stigma surrounding suicide. Depression is a terrible illness, it can be very very difficult to crawl out of that dark, dark place.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,915 ✭✭✭cursai


    Pelvis wrote: »
    People who do this feel it is better for everyone if they were to take their own life. They feel everyone would be better off if they weren't around anymore. That's the extent to which they are NOT in a normal frame of mind.

    Unbelievable really that this has to be pointed out every single time a thread like this comes up.

    Ultimately they feel is better for themselves. They may feel people would be better off. But it is done to relieve themselves ultimately.

    When it's broken down it is ultimately a selfish act to end their own torture.
    Not selfish in the common definition. And not the type of selfish that should be begrudged either. In their eyes it's a nessecary selfish.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,175 ✭✭✭dense


    goat2 wrote: »
    It is so sad, we all know someone that has decided they don't want to be here any longer.

    I do know of two that had suffered cancer, and when it returned with a prognosis of a short life, they decided they did not want to suffer any more pain.

    That does happen and it often happens with shotguns and no dignity. It shouldn't happen that way.

    Who are we to force people to go through with that sort of prognosis?

    Or face another 30 years of a life that they've no interest in?

    Why are we interfering with people's decisions, very often people whose situations we have no knowledge of?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,596 ✭✭✭cmac2009


    Sadly, I now need my second hand of fingers to count how many people I know who have died from suicide. As the list has grown, the connection has become closer. I haven’t lost a family member but as good as.

    I’m not a professional when it comes to giving advice on mental health. I’m just a Mum, a wife, an aunty, your mates Mum. Those houses you hung around in when you were growing up contained people who love you. Even if you’ve now grown up and have families of your own.

    If you feel overwhelmed by life, please, PLEASE reach out to someone. Those mates that you mess around with, they are more than that. They care about you. That teacher who you think is so strict in class, confide in them. They may well be the person that understands how you are feeling more than you ever realised.

    To any parent or grandparent reading this - remind your kids (whatever age they are) that no problem is so big that they can’t tell you about it. Remember their well-being is much more important than any stigma you believe it will cause the family. If the last line reminds you of people you know, remind them of what’s important in life - LIFE ITSELF.

    Don’t feel alone x

    Nice Post. I also like how you have used the term "died by suicide" as opposed to committed suicide. I know it's difficult as the words commit and suicide are ingrained in the lexicon and widely used. Commit to me has connotations of a crime. Its inaccurate and insensitive imo to use that word and adds to the stigma around suicide.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,148 ✭✭✭Ger Roe


    cmac2009 wrote: »
    Nice Post. I also like how you have usd the term "died by suicide" as opposed to committed suicide. I know it's difficult as the words commit and suicide are ingrained in the lexicon and widely used. Commit to me has connotations of a crime. Its inaccurate and insensitive imo to use that word and adds to the stigma around suicide.

    I did the HSE training that I have linked to in a previous post. At one of the sessions that same definition of 'commit' came up (legal, crime). I always saw it another way in that the person had considered their situation and had committed to a particular course of action. They had decided on (committed to) a particular solution.

    Either way, I found the training very useful in that you may come across a situation where you think 'someone should really help that person at some point' - in fact that 'someone' may be you and the point at which help is required, may be now.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭sbsquarepants


    Pelvis wrote: »
    People who do this feel it is better for everyone if they were to take their own life. They feel everyone would be better off if they weren't around anymore. That's the extent to which they are NOT in a normal frame of mind.

    Unbelievable really that this has to be pointed out every single time a thread like this comes up.

    Don't be so preachy. Some people feel that way. Some.

    I personally have known 4 people really well who killed themselves. I can practically guarantee you that 2 of them at least didn't give a flying fúck about anyone else when they decided to do it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    Yes and no.

    You're quite right, the majority who do it aren't in what you could call a "normal" frame of mind. But everybody knows the mess it leaves behind, it is ultimately a selfish act - whether you could blame them for doing it I don't know, I suppose each case is different, but blame or not it's usually selfish.

    When you are in that dark and desperate place, believing that that is the only way ahead, and yet having to steel yourself to do it as the body knows and rebels against death, then there is no thought for anything but the committing, the ending of self and pain. There is no reasoning, you are utterly and totally alone, in torment that you can see only one way out of

    Please trust me on that. Not a logical issue of blame or reason or consideration. Desperation is blind and deaf to anything but itself. No light, no love.

    There may e folk here who have been pulled back from the brink and know this.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    I read about a study done of people who were stopped from jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. They followed up many years later and I think only something like 5% of the people who were stopped attempted suicide again. The rest had either died of other causes or were still alive. It was a decent sample size too.

    That has really stayed with me. People can really be helped!

    If you can actually intervene at that crucial crisis then suicide can be averted. It is never a rational choice


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,024 ✭✭✭✭Baggly


    Sadly, I now need my second hand of fingers to count how many people I know who have died from suicide. As the list has grown, the connection has become closer. I haven’t lost a family member but as good as.

    I’m not a professional when it comes to giving advice on mental health. I’m just a Mum, a wife, an aunty, your mates Mum. Those houses you hung around in when you were growing up contained people who love you. Even if you’ve now grown up and have families of your own.

    If you feel overwhelmed by life, please, PLEASE reach out to someone. Those mates that you mess around with, they are more than that. They care about you. That teacher who you think is so strict in class, confide in them. They may well be the person that understands how you are feeling more than you ever realised.

    To any parent or grandparent reading this - remind your kids (whatever age they are) that no problem is so big that they can’t tell you about it. Remember their well-being is much more important than any stigma you believe it will cause the family. If the last line reminds you of people you know, remind them of what’s important in life - LIFE ITSELF.

    Don’t feel alone x

    All the support in the world SM


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,142 ✭✭✭✭Mrs OBumble


    dense wrote: »
    It only leaves a mess behind because it is so taboo.

    If there were proper structures in place for people who do not wish to continue living and their families there might not be such a mess left behind.

    But to do any of that, we'd first have to respect the suicidal person's right to end their own life.

    We won't do that, even though ....".

    Not yet - but i reckon that suicide-by-doc (aka euthanasia) isn't so far away in Ireland. And when it comes in, it will make it a lot harder to convince people in general to not kill themselves .... because hey, youve got to respect their choices.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 812 ✭✭✭Cleopatra_


    I've tried to kill myself. I can only speak for myself but every single time I tried I was thinking that everyone in my life would be better off without me, that I was a bad person, that I was a burden to everyone. That I wasn't worth their time or their energy and they'd get fed up of me eventually. I envy people who cannot understand suicide because they've never been so low.

    The guilt you feel when you survive is horrific because you see the pain that those who love you are in, but it only makes you wish you'd done what you set out to do because now here they are upset over you, again. You've messed things up, again.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 5,106 ✭✭✭PlaneSpeeking


    Cleopatra_ wrote: »
    I've tried to kill myself. I can only speak for myself but every single time I tried I was thinking that everyone in my life would be better off without me, that I was a bad person, that I was a burden to everyone. That I wasn't worth their time or their energy and they'd get fed up of me eventually. I envy people who cannot understand suicide because they've never been so low.

    The guilt you feel when you survive is horrific because you see the pain that those who love you are in, but it only makes you wish you'd done what you set out to do because now here they are upset over you, again. You've messed things up, again.

    I've literally never tried - seriously anyway - as I'm Catholic and felt I shouldn't. I want to see my mother again and I believe she is in Heaven.

    But I've felt low enough to do it; slashed half heartedly at my wrist, more out of frustration at not being able to do it properly. And stood by a platform edge thinking, if only I was brave enough.

    Thoughts and prayers for strength for anyone going through this.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 83 ✭✭vonlars


    As a teenager, we lost 5 of our friend group to suicide in 3 year period. It was horrendous. Looking back on it now I remember just constantly being in mourning for those three years and beyond it. It wasn't all that long ago but the one thing that stood out to me was there was nowhere to go. It's all well and good running campaigns to 'talk to someone' but the reality is if I had felt as low as those guys had then I wouldn't have had a clue what to do at that age. There was no support offered to anyone after their deaths either.

    People who label suicide as 'selfish' clearly have no idea of how dark a place the human mind can be.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,175 ✭✭✭dense


    Not yet - but i reckon that suicide-by-doc (aka euthanasia) isn't so far away in Ireland. And when it comes in, it will make it a lot harder to convince people in general to not kill themselves .... because hey, youve got to respect their choices.

    We do. It should be their choice if they decide not to endure.

    Are we really content forcing people to stay alive in order to satisfy our demands? The actions of those of us who might at some point in the future decide upon assisted suicide in other jurisdictions are generally respected.

    We (I'm generalising) do not have an issue with people deciding upon terminating their own lives elsewhere and many of us would like the choice to do it here.

    The reasons for doing so should not really come into it, just like they don't come into it for abortion.
    By that I mean it should not only be available for those diagnosed with terminal conditions. There is little logic in excluding others from accessing such a service if such a service were to exist.

    We do now live in a society where the health service will soon be providing terminations prior to birth so I cannot see any impediment to providing the same option post-birth given all we have heard about respecting other people's choices.

    We also were assured that it does not necessarily follow that termination rates would increase.

    If dignified end of life terminations were available perhaps it might act as a safety blanket for those who feel suicidal in the sense that it would be one less thing for them to worry about, whilst dealing with issues.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 33,711 ✭✭✭✭Princess Consuela Bananahammock


    Also, if someone DOES reach out to you, BE THERE.

    Even if you don;t know what to say or do, just be there. Sometimes even goin over to his/her house and watching a movie or playing Ludo is enough to help.

    Everything I don't like is either woke or fascist - possibly both - pick one.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Cleopatra_ wrote: »
    I've tried to kill myself. I can only speak for myself but every single time I tried I was thinking that everyone in my life would be better off without me, that I was a bad person, that I was a burden to everyone. That I wasn't worth their time or their energy and they'd get fed up of me eventually. I envy people who cannot understand suicide because they've never been so low.

    The guilt you feel when you survive is horrific because you see the pain that those who love you are in, but it only makes you wish you'd done what you set out to do because now here they are upset over you, again. You've messed things up, again.

    Would guilt about something have been your initial reason for attempting to take your own life?

    Tell me to mind my own if you want


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 812 ✭✭✭Cleopatra_


    Would guilt about something have been your initial reason for attempting to take your own life?

    Tell me to mind my own if you want

    Feeling like a burden was my initial reason. The last time I tried I'd had an argument with my sister that day and she told me she wished I'd been too ill to go on holiday with her because I kept her awake coughing all night (I have Cystic Fibrosis) and that my dad had to drive us around everywhere because I wasn't well and couldn't walk far and it was my fault that he didn't feel like driving her to the airport. She changed her flights so she could go home earlier and get away from me. A lifetime of being told things like this leaves you feeling like no one wants you around and that you're a nuisance.


  • Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I don't believe a person who takes their own life is selfish but I have spoken with those who told me the one thing that stops them is the devastation it would cause. We can't say with any certainty what goes through the mind of another. I imagine that there are those who don't give much regard to the lives left behind. I also imagine that there are those who have so much pain inside, so much hurt, that suicide seems like the only option for them.

    It's an extremely complex issue with no straight forward solution. Even help and support might not be enough or even wanted. Sometimes there is nothing to be done when a person makes the decision. It can be difficult to know, for those concerned, who definitely wants to live but is petrified and can't see a way out or who has decided that they are done and help is not wanted or needed.

    So we must first try. There was an AMA recently with a helpline volunteer. I can't remember the exact post but it was basically saying that if a distressed person rings and says they want to end their life then the volunteer would simply listen and be present for them. I couldn't get my head around this. My first instinct would be to help them find a reason to live, even if my abilities were limited due to the medium of communication. Jaysus. Let them know they matter, that their life matters. That might just be enough.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,858 ✭✭✭Church on Tuesday


    I hate the term 'committed', someone 'committed' suicide, like they committed a crime or something.

    I lost a cousin of mine to suicide six years ago. It's horrific attending the funeral of a young person.

    Look out for, and after, one another folks, because this is a tough world and life.


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 11,791 Mod ✭✭✭✭igCorcaigh


    Is it still illegal?

    I remember when I was young, being at a political gathering, they were calling for the decriminalisation of suicide.

    Sounds absurd, I know, but this was in the 80's.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,653 ✭✭✭✭Plumbthedepths


    I'm in my 40's , before I got my to my 20's I lost four very good friends to suicide. Words don't describe the pain and hurt of not being able to help your friend. The only comfort I can take from a suicide is they are at peace. Even now in my forties I still attend funerals of friends who cannot cope and seek release. Sometimes I envy their courage especially when I am at their graveside.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,653 ✭✭✭✭Plumbthedepths


    Cleopatra_ wrote:
    I've tried to kill myself. I can only speak for myself but every single time I tried I was thinking that everyone in my life would be better off without me, that I was a bad person, that I was a burden to everyone. That I wasn't worth their time or their energy and they'd get fed up of me eventually. I envy people who cannot understand suicide because they've never been so low.

    Cleopatra_ wrote:
    The guilt you feel when you survive is horrific because you see the pain that those who love you are in, but it only makes you wish you'd done what you set out to do because now here they are upset over you, again. You've messed things up, again.


    I cannot properly put into words the feelings I feel when I read your words, but you are looking at things from the wrong angle. Your loved ones are hurt they did not see the signs that you were in trouble and needed help. Please the only advice I can give you that is meaningful is talk. You are loved and NO the world is not a better place without you, it is possible it is enhanced with your presence.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5,472 ✭✭✭brooke 2


    igCorcaigh wrote: »
    Is it still illegal?

    I remember when I was young, being at a political gathering, they were calling for the decriminalisation of suicide.

    Sounds absurd, I know, but this was in the 80's.

    Suicide was decriminalised in 1993.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,950 ✭✭✭ChikiChiki


    My personality has changed forever because of 4 suicides friends and family. I find it hard to build close relationships with people and suffer crippling anxiety. I'm just not the same joyful person I once was despite all counselling can offer

    I think there needs to be some focus on the trauma it leaves behind as one measure of suicide prevention. Yes the main focus should be on the individual suffering but the psychological difficulties left on those behind should not be forgotten.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,010 ✭✭✭La.de.da


    Nice post OP. Especially coming into this time if year.
    I don't know anyone in my direct family or friendship circle whom have died by suicide,but there has been many in my area throughout the years.

    Not ashamed to admit I've been at that ultimate decision on more than one occasion. I can tell you from my own experience, the hurt is like nothing I can describe. It's like spiralling down a vortex, luckily you might manage to grab onto something before you hit the bottom.

    What's helped me is realising...... you don't have to be like the Jones'. The power job, the relationship, the children,house,cars etc. You do not need any or all of those to be successful and happy in your own life.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    dense wrote: »
    It only leaves a mess behind because it is so taboo.

    If there were proper structures in place for people who do not wish to continue living and their families there might not be such a mess left behind.

    But to do any of that, we'd first have to respect the

    We won't do that, even though we've done it for women wanting to end unborn children's lives and there is no difference in the two concepts, both end up with the same result, but the suicidal adult is called "selfish".

    contradiction in terms. being suicidal is not a normal thought process and never to be respected or accepted as such . I am not calling suicidal folk selfish either.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    Also, if someone DOES reach out to you, BE THERE.

    Even if you don;t know what to say or do, just be there. Sometimes even goin over to his/her house and watching a movie or playing Ludo is enough to help.

    I once deflected someone by finding her a recipe for some cake; went to a lot of trouble finding sites and she was so moved by that small act of caring. started laughing...

    Tiny things can tip that delicate balance


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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    @ cleopatra,

    Does your CF make you dependent on others? Are you still in school, living at home?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,175 ✭✭✭dense


    Graces7 wrote: »
    contradiction in terms. being suicidal is not a normal thought process and never to be respected or accepted as such .

    With respect, what business of yours would it be if I decided to terminate my own life?

    None.

    Why do you not respect my wish to have the right to die early, at a time, manner and method of my choosing, should I desire that?


  • Boards.ie Employee Posts: 12,597 ✭✭✭✭✭Boards.ie: Niamh
    Boards.ie Community Manager


    Hi guys,
    Those of you following the thread will be aware that one user posted in distress last night. I have taken the recommended steps in this case (developed with Aware) which is to offer the user advice in how to get the help they need (via PM) and to remove the post and any replies. Thank you to those of you who reported the post. Please do not engage with a distressed person via PM, you may be trying to help but if you are untrained you may have a negative rather than positive effect.

    For anyone who needs someone to talk to or would like to see what options are available for someone in distress, there is a good list here in Personal Issues.

    Thanks and take care everyone.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,178 ✭✭✭Mango Joe


    Yes and no.

    You're quite right, the majority who do it aren't in what you could call a "normal" frame of mind. But everybody knows the mess it leaves behind, it is ultimately a selfish act - whether you could blame them for doing it I don't know, I suppose each case is different, but blame or not it's usually selfish.

    I used to think like this.

    But I now believe we were both wrong.

    - What changed my mind was reading of someone with a myriad of health problems and depression who said that every day they got up and it was all they could do to fight the urge to kill themselves.

    You only need to lose your faith for a very small interval to lose that never-ending battle.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,118 ✭✭✭Lackey


    Pelvis wrote: »
    People who do this feel it is better for everyone if they were to take their own life. They feel everyone would be better off if they weren't around anymore. That's the extent to which they are NOT in a normal frame of mind.

    Unbelievable really that this has to be pointed out every single time a thread like this comes up.

    You shouldn't speak for everyone like that,

    I know someone who said after a failed attempt that at that moment in time they did not give anyone else a single thought.
    Not their friends,
    not their family
    not even their kids.
    Not a single fu@k was given for anyone or anything only how they were feeling.
    Not saying they were in their right mind but they said it straight they didn't give a sh!t, other people didn't even enter the equation.


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,012 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    There is a fairly significant spate of suicide amongst young women ongoing in Limerick at the moment.
    Very distressing for the families and as suicide often follows a pervasive clustering pattern.
    Quite terrifying for anyone with girls in the age and circles concerned amongst their family.

    The glamourisation and eulogization of people in this particular type of circumstance is to my mind a significant driving factor in these deaths.

    Young people feeling disconnected and for want of a better description, ordinary.
    Are seeing their dead friends being mourned as martyrs to mental health and remembered in the usual Irish way as Nobel laureates, sporting giants, and beauty queens....
    And surely it's driving thoughts in some of "at least I'll be remembered?!"


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 32,634 ✭✭✭✭Graces7


    banie01 wrote: »
    There is a fairly significant spate of suicide amongst young women ongoing in Limerick at the moment.
    Very distressing for the families and as suicide often follows a pervasive clustering pattern.
    Quite terrifying for anyone with girls in the age and circles concerned amongst their family.

    The glamourisation and eulogization of people in this particular type of circumstance is to my mind a significant driving factor in these deaths.

    Young people feeling disconnected and for want of a better description, ordinary.
    Are seeing their dead friends being mourned as martyrs to mental health and remembered in the usual Irish way as Nobel laureates, sporting giants, and beauty queens....
    And surely it's driving thoughts in some of "at least I'll be remembered?!"

    I remember this happening way back in Scotland. A kind of copycat syndrome? That a friend doing it gave permission? It was schoolgirls then.

    I honestly do not think they really realise how final and irrevocable death is. That it ends everything not just the things they are seeking to end?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,901 ✭✭✭Deebles McBeebles


    Mango Joe wrote: »
    You only need to lose your faith for a very small interval to lose that never-ending battle.

    A very true and poignant statement.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,503 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    A hundred and one things people do are selfish, it's sort of tedious people bleating on about selfishness here as if it was the only single example of it ever


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,012 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    Graces7 wrote: »
    I remember this happening way back in Scotland. A kind of copycat syndrome? That a friend doing it gave permission? It was schoolgirls then.

    I honestly do not think they really realise how final and irrevocable death is. That it ends everything not just the things they are seeking to end?

    Its unfortunately quite a common phenomenon, most recent one I can think of that gained media attention was in the Welsh valleys @10yrs ago.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭sbsquarepants


    Mango Joe wrote: »
    You only need to lose your faith for a very small interval to lose that never-ending battle.

    Was speaking to a friend a while back who's brother had just killed himself, completely out of the blue, he was wondering how different things could have been if someone had just knocked on the door or rang his phone at that exact time. If a 2 minute interruption could have been the difference between him giving in and going on.

    I don't know, i suppose it could be!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,035 ✭✭✭✭J Mysterio


    banie01 wrote: »
    There is a fairly significant spate of suicide amongst young women ongoing in Limerick at the moment.
    Very distressing for the families and as suicide often follows a pervasive clustering pattern.
    Quite terrifying for anyone with girls in the age and circles concerned amongst their family.

    The glamourisation and eulogization of people in this particular type of circumstance is to my mind a significant driving factor in these deaths.

    Young people feeling disconnected and for want of a better description, ordinary.
    Are seeing their dead friends being mourned as martyrs to mental health and remembered in the usual Irish way as Nobel laureates, sporting giants, and beauty queens....
    And surely it's driving thoughts in some of "at least I'll be remembered?!"


    I know of two that happened recently of young women in Limerick. Was there more?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,012 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    J Mysterio wrote: »
    I know of two that happened recently of young women in Limerick. Was there more?

    Since mid August at least 5 unfortunately with the most recent overnight.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,950 ✭✭✭ChikiChiki


    banie01 wrote: »
    J Mysterio wrote: »
    I know of two that happened recently of young women in Limerick. Was there more?

    Since mid August at least 5 unfortunately with the most recent overnight.

    That is absolutely tragic. What is driving this?

    Suicide is a national emergency in my opinion. I'm 99% certain the stats are producing only a fraction of the real numbers.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,012 ✭✭✭✭banie01


    ChikiChiki wrote: »
    That is absolutely tragic. What is driving this?

    Suicide is a national emergency in my opinion. I'm 99% certain the stats are producing only a fraction of the real numbers.

    I'd be even more certain the stats are misleading.
    The reporting requirements needed for a coroner to rule a death as suicide are quite onerous.
    The vast majority of such deaths are ruled as death by misadventure.

    I posted a few years ago regarding HSE self harm figures from 2016 IIRC.
    At the time the HSE reported that @80000 attended A+E for injuries arising from instances of self harm but the reported suicide rate that year was less than 500.

    The reporting and classification of suicide has a dreadful impact upon the funding available IMO.

    The usual comparator is road deaths, for budgets and campaign funding.
    But those numbers can be teased out quite easily.
    The truest reflection of actual suicide rates in Ireland would be to include Death By Misadventure in the numbers aswell as those ruled as suicide by coroner's IMO.

    As for what's driving the current spate in Limerick, I have given an opinion on it in an earlier post.
    Its certainly not that simple, but the outpouring of ah sure they were great and so on, certainly isn't helping.
    I passed people during the week going to a removal service with photo t-shirts and slogans on :(

    Combine that with poor mental health supports and services and it is a perfect storm.


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