dysfunctional workplace - stress

LegacyUser

I work in large multinational in Dublin, and am in the current role 5 years. I am currently out on stress leave. the issues are as following:
nasty role at work (Project lead type role)- high level of responsibility, lot of deadlines, pressure.
poor structure in wider workplace/department, which means a lot of unnecessary burden falls back on me. The teams are poorly organised, and we rely on these teams to perform tasks for us, but time and time again these are incomplete, late, or just wrong. We spend endless amounts of time managing these issues, setting up endless meetings to try to rectify the situation. Really if the teams are set up well, the processes would be seamless. I appreciate there will always be some issues cropping up which may require a joint effort, but in this case, it's the norm that the teams are ineffective, which like I said puts a strain on us. this creates a huge frustration for us, and I think over time this can grind you down mentally.

Moving onto my manager - well, my manager is a nice person, very compassionate, approachable, a smart person. however, with 5 years under them, I have grown extremely disillusioned, frustrated and negative. basically, they simply cannot communicate. They assume we understand what they mean, they give conflicting information as to who is doing what. then, go and tell another person the opposite. This inevitably leads to annoyance, confusion etc. I think they have poor self awareness and there are times when they should verbalise something in a meeting, yet they stay silent. They are also incredibly inconsistent. They have reneged on things (e.g. recently the roles and responsibility of Project X are supposed to be outsourced , and they say as much in a meeting, then a week later, do a U-turn). They assume we can maintain a certain workload.
They are also indecisive. For example, spend way too much time making a decision on assigning person X to Project Y, or taking person X off of a certain project to free them up for Project Y. Meanwhile the work is piling up, and you're sitting in limbo as to who's supposed to be helping/supporting.....

They can be very hands off, give a lot of autonomy. This I realise can work really well, if you have a good setup and organisation in a team or workplace. however in this case, with such a dysfunctional environment, you're left to paddle your own boat and fire fight all these issues across the department. Really, we are crying out for some representation, someone to deal with the cultural issues to try to help our team a little. (the department by the way has approx 70 staff split across 5 teams). Whenever you raise issues to them, they pull a face of annoyance/frustration (sort of empathising with our own frustrations) at the other teams. But really what you'd like it them to make note and come up with possible solutions. sometimes, their solution is the pass it onto someone on the team to go and try to resolve it (a development opportunity, ,to grow and develop.... very annoying, cos people are our level have limited influence in such a dysfunctional environment, and you really just end up putting out small fires to get yourself over a hump. The bigger issue remains). And even when the manager takes an actions to tackle something for us, they often do nothing. I’ve sat in our team meeting going through assigned actions ( various tasks that may be assigned to different team members), and there are instances when tasks assigned to the manager get pushed out time and time again. It comes across as laziness. I have realised it's often a waste of energy coming up with solutions or trying to raise issues with the manager because nothing changes. I actually think the manager is lazy at times, and cannot be bothered tackling issues.
The manager also shows a bit of favouritism. we are a team of 8 ( identical roles) under that 1 manager. there is a lot of flexibility offered to some team members, which doesn't seem quite right. also recently, the manager pulled me on something I didn't do, yet didn't pull another team member despite that team mate doing the exact same thing as me, and the manager was be fully aware. Very fickle. The following week it could be that colleague getting pulled and not me…..

During team meetings the manager will, not always, but fairly regularly play on their phone (games, reading news etc), this is often while someone on the team is speaking. This grates.... also they can be a little smart at times, kinda trying to catch someone out on their work knowledge. It is really weird, because the manager can be very nice also. it's an odd situation.... they seem changeable/fickle... I sometimes think it's like a immature competitiveness coming out in them, like "I know more than you" type attitude...

the manager speaks frequently in my 1to1 meetings about how we need to work as a team, and support each other. however it really is every person for themselves. it's a competitive environment, and promotions create a lot of stir when they come around. I feel there is a low level of trust among the team of 8. I have often gone through periods when i'm crazy and turn around and see a lot of non-work related activity going. In these busy periods I have mentioned to the manager that there is a workload imbalance (without naming names), and i'm told that if person X is saying they're busy then the manager has to take it at face value. it feels like a bit of a joke. Before I went out on stress leave, I had been getting extremely busy and conversations were had about assigning 1 extra person to my project. At the time I said that I wasn't sure that 1 would be enough given the amount of work. But my statement just hung in the air, I got no acknowledgement or response on that. I was ignored. It's just another example of the odd behaviour from the manager. Not sure if it's poor communication or what.............

Some team mates can be a little devious, kind of going out of their way to make you look bad. This happened to me recently, but raising this with the manger would be a waste of time as you'd be told that you're paranoid. the team dynamic is really off. sometimes you don't know where you stand with people. Low levels of trust, and a bit of selfishness. e.g. there are some members that wouldn't support you on something even if they have time, as doing donkey work on another project isn't nice and shiny to them and not in line with their aspirations if seems. there is a bit of Instant Messaging going on with one or two also, and sometimes you just have a niggling feeling it may be about you. Of course it isn't against the law to have a little catch up with a colleague without the whole office hearing, but you do notice patterns and I don't think it's always innocent. another person on the teams feels it also, so I don't think I'm paranoid.

I think the manager is in cloud cuckoo and needs to be move hands on and stop letting some folk swan in and swan about. i'm not sure if it's oblivion or ignorance. i think the manager cannot deal with strong personalities which is to the detriment to the rest of us. I sense the manager sees themselves as being above certain work, and like I said expect us to manage ourselves. I think they should keep more of a finger on the pulse/getting to know what people are doing and stop expecting us to lead ourselves. it's just doesn't work, esp when you have a bad mix of things in the environment.

Anyhow, I was growing very cynical, and frustrated and to be honest I wasn't fully aware that i was suffering from stress. It's such a cliche, but it really crept up on me. Looking back to approx 1 year ago, I know there were signs starting to show. but it same to a head 6 weeks ago when I sort of hit a wall, and the doctor signed me off.

I will have to go back soon. I feel like i need to get out of that role altogether, maybe moves companies... like I said at the start, the manager is actually a nice person, but I feel they are inept and incapable of leading a team. On my last week at work, I became aware that i have little or no respect left for my manager. For me it's next to impossible to work with someone you don't respect. My manager is simply way too passive in my opinion. I know people will say that having a micro-manager or tyrant is way worse than what I have, but I think passivity is bad too and can wreck havoc. I have worked in previous and similar large companies, and of course there were flaws, but not to this extent.
I have tried in the past to give some feedback to the manager, but I just don't think they'll ever 'get it'. they sometimes improved a bit for a week or so, then it's back to the usual crap. It's weird.

what are people's thoughts? Anyone experienced similar?
thanks for reading

OMM 0000

Can you summarise in a few sentences?

tom1ie

Why are you taking on so much stress if your own direct manager doesn’t seem to be too worried about things?
You seem to be subconsciously shielding your manager from his own and the companies failings.

harr

Make your post smaller no one has the time to read 9 large paragraphs of text.
Longest post I think I have seen

stateofflux

Not even gonna read all of this. first paragraph was enough

If you are not happy then leave -- Life is too short --- really short

arrange your life so you can be the least stressed you can be, doing what you like doing.

If big changes are required then make big changes.

Wanderer2010

Honestly if you are having that many detailed problems in work that fills so many lines, you should either leave for a different job or take a leaf out of the book of everyone around you and just stop caring. Its working for them right?

amdublin

I couldn't read all that. Sorry

But from the skimming it sounds like you are not enjoying the job, the company, or working with your manager. Why don't you go back to work and look for another job elsewhere or do something different?

AndrewJRenko

Have you done any formal project management training? Are you getting agreement and sign off of the project plan up front? Are you issuing regular status reports to senior management showing exactly who is late?

Wanderer78

Didn't read much of op, but read multinational, so, not surprised, many of these companies couldn't give a ****e about their workers, just leave, move on, life's too short

SirChenjin

Your health is suffering, so that must be addressed, and that is very important.

It doesn't sound like anything will change, at work, unfortunately. It is time to move on, in my opinion.

Meantime, make sure that you are back to full health before you return to the current role. Start looking around now so that you can be prepared to leave there for good.

All the best.

mikep

You are under a lot of stress which as previously mentioned is not good for you.

As you are on leave related to this stress HR should be involved to resolve the issue. if not you need to contact them to explain the situation..

If I was you i'd actively look at getting out,I was in a similar situation recently albeit in a new job so I was luckily able to get out during probation, life is too short to be dealing with that sort of crap at work!

Manach

The OP has a responsibile attitude to work and is conscientious, based on first post. Thus time to prepare a CV and head to a new work place for most companies do not properly engage with staff who suffer stress due to work pressures.

Wildly Boaring

tom1ie wrote: »

Why are you taking on so much stress if your own direct manager doesn’t seem to be too worried about things?
You seem to be subconsciously shielding your manager from his own and the companies failings.

Amen.
Have currently 3 bosses depending on type project.

One is a lovely fella but I fell into trap of putting in massive effort sorting out additional problems on his projects that are beyond my control.
He is very clued into what is going on in the different departments and kept promising that the issues would be sorted.

They still are not sorted. I now ignore the issues outside my remit on his jobs. He doesn't lose a wink of sleep over slipping programmes or escalating costs. Neither will I.

I do however cover my ass by explicitly stating in emails what I need done (real simple stuff like raising POs) and copying him. Previously I would have chased after these items and got poor response. Now I just go with the flow.

Ollibelo

stress18 wrote: »

I work in large multinational in Dublin, and am in the current role 5 years. I am currently out on stress leave. the issues are as following:
nasty role at work (Project lead type role)- high level of responsibility, lot of deadlines, pressure.
poor structure in wider workplace/department, which means a lot of unnecessary burden falls back on me. The teams are poorly organised, and we rely on these teams to perform tasks for us, but time and time again these are incomplete, late, or just wrong. We spend endless amounts of time managing these issues, setting up endless meetings to try to rectify the situation. Really if the teams are set up well, the processes would be seamless. I appreciate there will always be some issues cropping up which may require a joint effort, but in this case, it's the norm that the teams are ineffective, which like I said puts a strain on us. this creates a huge frustration for us, and I think over time this can grind you down mentally.

Moving onto my manager - well, my manager is a nice person, very compassionate, approachable, a smart person. however, with 5 years under them, I have grown extremely disillusioned, frustrated and negative. basically, they simply cannot communicate. They assume we understand what they mean, they give conflicting information as to who is doing what. then, go and tell another person the opposite. This inevitably leads to annoyance, confusion etc. I think they have poor self awareness and there are times when they should verbalise something in a meeting, yet they stay silent. They are also incredibly inconsistent. They have reneged on things (e.g. recently the roles and responsibility of Project X are supposed to be outsourced , and they say as much in a meeting, then a week later, do a U-turn). They assume we can maintain a certain workload.
They are also indecisive. For example, spend way too much time making a decision on assigning person X to Project Y, or taking person X off of a certain project to free them up for Project Y. Meanwhile the work is piling up, and you're sitting in limbo as to who's supposed to be helping/supporting.....

They can be very hands off, give a lot of autonomy. This I realise can work really well, if you have a good setup and organisation in a team or workplace. however in this case, with such a dysfunctional environment, you're left to paddle your own boat and fire fight all these issues across the department. Really, we are crying out for some representation, someone to deal with the cultural issues to try to help our team a little. (the department by the way has approx 70 staff split across 5 teams). Whenever you raise issues to them, they pull a face of annoyance/frustration (sort of empathising with our own frustrations) at the other teams. But really what you'd like it them to make note and come up with possible solutions. sometimes, their solution is the pass it onto someone on the team to go and try to resolve it (a development opportunity, ,to grow and develop.... very annoying, cos people are our level have limited influence in such a dysfunctional environment, and you really just end up putting out small fires to get yourself over a hump. The bigger issue remains). And even when the manager takes an actions to tackle something for us, they often do nothing. I’ve sat in our team meeting going through assigned actions ( various tasks that may be assigned to different team members), and there are instances when tasks assigned to the manager get pushed out time and time again. It comes across as laziness. I have realised it's often a waste of energy coming up with solutions or trying to raise issues with the manager because nothing changes. I actually think the manager is lazy at times, and cannot be bothered tackling issues.
The manager also shows a bit of favouritism. we are a team of 8 ( identical roles) under that 1 manager. there is a lot of flexibility offered to some team members, which doesn't seem quite right. also recently, the manager pulled me on something I didn't do, yet didn't pull another team member despite that team mate doing the exact same thing as me, and the manager was be fully aware. Very fickle. The following week it could be that colleague getting pulled and not me…..

During team meetings the manager will, not always, but fairly regularly play on their phone (games, reading news etc), this is often while someone on the team is speaking. This grates.... also they can be a little smart at times, kinda trying to catch someone out on their work knowledge. It is really weird, because the manager can be very nice also. it's an odd situation.... they seem changeable/fickle... I sometimes think it's like a immature competitiveness coming out in them, like "I know more than you" type attitude...

the manager speaks frequently in my 1to1 meetings about how we need to work as a team, and support each other. however it really is every person for themselves. it's a competitive environment, and promotions create a lot of stir when they come around. I feel there is a low level of trust among the team of 8. I have often gone through periods when i'm crazy and turn around and see a lot of non-work related activity going. In these busy periods I have mentioned to the manager that there is a workload imbalance (without naming names), and i'm told that if person X is saying they're busy then the manager has to take it at face value. it feels like a bit of a joke. Before I went out on stress leave, I had been getting extremely busy and conversations were had about assigning 1 extra person to my project. At the time I said that I wasn't sure that 1 would be enough given the amount of work. But my statement just hung in the air, I got no acknowledgement or response on that. I was ignored. It's just another example of the odd behaviour from the manager. Not sure if it's poor communication or what.............

Some team mates can be a little devious, kind of going out of their way to make you look bad. This happened to me recently, but raising this with the manger would be a waste of time as you'd be told that you're paranoid. the team dynamic is really off. sometimes you don't know where you stand with people. Low levels of trust, and a bit of selfishness. e.g. there are some members that wouldn't support you on something even if they have time, as doing donkey work on another project isn't nice and shiny to them and not in line with their aspirations if seems. there is a bit of Instant Messaging going on with one or two also, and sometimes you just have a niggling feeling it may be about you. Of course it isn't against the law to have a little catch up with a colleague without the whole office hearing, but you do notice patterns and I don't think it's always innocent. another person on the teams feels it also, so I don't think I'm paranoid.

I think the manager is in cloud cuckoo and needs to be move hands on and stop letting some folk swan in and swan about. i'm not sure if it's oblivion or ignorance. i think the manager cannot deal with strong personalities which is to the detriment to the rest of us. I sense the manager sees themselves as being above certain work, and like I said expect us to manage ourselves. I think they should keep more of a finger on the pulse/getting to know what people are doing and stop expecting us to lead ourselves. it's just doesn't work, esp when you have a bad mix of things in the environment.

Anyhow, I was growing very cynical, and frustrated and to be honest I wasn't fully aware that i was suffering from stress. It's such a cliche, but it really crept up on me. Looking back to approx 1 year ago, I know there were signs starting to show. but it same to a head 6 weeks ago when I sort of hit a wall, and the doctor signed me off.

I will have to go back soon. I feel like i need to get out of that role altogether, maybe moves companies... like I said at the start, the manager is actually a nice person, but I feel they are inept and incapable of leading a team. On my last week at work, I became aware that i have little or no respect left for my manager. For me it's next to impossible to work with someone you don't respect. My manager is simply way too passive in my opinion. I know people will say that having a micro-manager or tyrant is way worse than what I have, but I think passivity is bad too and can wreck havoc. I have worked in previous and similar large companies, and of course there were flaws, but not to this extent.
I have tried in the past to give some feedback to the manager, but I just don't think they'll ever 'get it'. they sometimes improved a bit for a week or so, then it's back to the usual crap. It's weird.

what are people's thoughts? Anyone experienced similar?
thanks for reading

OMG I think you have described my manager, myself workplace culture and set up and a part of my job...

How are you getting on?

Ollibelo

Ollibelo wrote: »

OMG I think you have described my manager, myself workplace culture and set up and a part of my job...

How are you getting on?

*Not myself 😂, my workplace*

Xterminator

Hi Op

A lot of what you have described is not uncommon, but you do see to have a bad case of it. You should probably quit if it affect your health. that's my advice.

Do you have specific project management training? However there are strategies you could be using to protect yourself from some of the worst things happening.

They assume we understand what they mean, they give conflicting information as to who is doing what. then, go and tell another person the opposite.

After each meeting send a summary email of what was requested/agreed and when it i due. Make that a habit.

there are instances when tasks assigned to the manager get pushed out time and time again

this is the nub of project management.

i had typed up a few tips but without knowing you and your organisation this probably wont be overly helpful. But do use a project tool like ms project in the meetings, highlight the tasks that are time critical and what the knock on affects will be if deadlines are missed & make the project available via sharepoint or a shared network resource.

During team meetings the manager will, not always, but fairly regularly play on their phone (games, reading news etc), this is often while someone on the team is speaking. This grates....

Change your meeting strategy. long draw out meeting that recover old ground and bring the entire team together whether or not they are needed should be consigned to history. For update meetings, consider 15 minutes to be the longest they should run. Consider standing meetings. shake things up format wise. Invite the project sponsor to key meetings., i guarantee your boss wont be playing tetris at those.

I would say you are not a spectator in these events, but neither are you the man who does everything. If someone has a critical task that can cause the project to miss key deadlines you need to be aware of progress before the deadline is over and new dates agreed preferably before the deadline is missed. i would always summarise this via email and cc the sponsor and key business people.

magic_murph

simple solution - just look for another job.
Endless project lead / project manager roles out there all paying good rates
Move on and forget the past.

Flyer29

Didn’t read all of this but from what I did read I can completely relate to it.

Was in a similar environment up until recently where the people above me in the food chain seemed to run around laughing and joking and spent more time on fag breaks and generally hanging around than doing actual work.

Meanwhile they kept giving me more and more tasks, kept giving me a nicer sounding job title while not increasing my wages with the new titles I was given. Stress then became a huge problem and I visited a doctor. He told me take a few days off which I did.

A few weeks later I was back in the doctors again with my body on the verge of a complete shutdown. The doctor told me he wouldn’t listen to any stress related issues I had again. He told me to go in to work the following morning and quit. That was the wake up I needed.

You will be on a one way trip to a heart attack or a stroke if you persistently put up with stress and should such an eventuality ever arise, your employer will have a replacement in your seat the following day and you will be yesterday’s news

Get out and stay out. Best of luck!

jim-mcdee

you need to chill out dude. i suggest a strict diet of whiskey and space cakes for a week.

shesty

Have had a manager like that.I left.Nothing we did would make them or the situation change and it gave me total stress.lIfe is too short.

mvl

Same as others have said - OP too long to read (& maybe I missed something).
But probably I wouldn't endure staying 5 years in similar environment: start planning to get out of there.

moonlighting_1

God dam multinationals. lol, spent 2 years in a similar environment biggest regret of my life. Can only image what 5 years of it would have been like

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies. Sorry, it was a very long winded post.
So since the new year has come in I've finished my CV and am hoping something will come along soon.
I am 100% certain that leaving is the right thing for me. Nothing in that place will change. I just need to find something more fulfilling for now. But maybe longterm I'll go into something totally different. Life is too short as someone said here.

LegacyUser

OP here.

Sorry, it was too long of a post to begin with.

I'm doing a lot better since the new year, due to the fact that at work I've stopped giving a crap. I decided over Xmas that I am leaving and have started actively seeking work elsewhere. My motivation is on the floor, so hopefully I'll get out of there soon before they cop on to my new found laziness, total apathy and general 'not giving a flying F' anymore.