HSE No Longer Allowed to Refer to Patients as "Love" or "Dear"

johnnyskeleton

The intake form should allow people to express their own terms of endearment and the overworked junior doctors should be made to learn off by heart the terms each patient likes to use.

seamus

One eyed Jack wrote: »

Long winded way of explaining the idea is entirely founded upon political correctness. It’s true that patients who feel more involved in their own healthcare experience better outcomes, so why introduce these policies then rather than allow patients to pull someone up on it themselves? If someone has an issue with their treatment, let them make a complaint, rather than introducing yet more policies which make assumptions on patients behalf?

You're right. Get confidence, stupid!

This is a "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" type of logic, OEJ.

"Patients who don't feel they can get involved in their health provision should just get involved!"

Patients are incredibly slow to complain while they're in hospital, for obvious reasons. Waiting for people to speak up for themselves doesn't work. That's the system we have now.

If someone prefers being called by a pet name or nickname while in hospital, then they should speak up and say that rather than inflicting it on the rest of us.

dr.fuzzenstein

johnnyskeleton wrote: »

The intake form should allow people to express their own terms of endearment and the overworked junior doctors should be made to learn off by heart the terms each patient likes to use.

I will refuse to respond to anything but "Poopsikins"

TCM

Samuel Vimes wrote:

My partner has been in hospital for the last month , very ill. She finds being being referred to as "dear" as condescending and patronising. Good to see action being taken on it.

What's that pet?

TCM

johnnyskeleton wrote:

The intake form should allow people to express their own terms of endearment and the overworked junior doctors should be made to learn off by heart the terms each patient likes to use.

Overworked. LOL.

Yoghurt87

This is a positive step for all the reasons Seamus mentioned. And they might stop saying “Good girl” to grown women in labour while they’re at it.

dr.fuzzenstein

I think this thread shows that too many people are so far up their own hole, they are in danger of completely disappearing into it.
It's all in the attidue. I can smile, shake your hand, look you straight in the eye and say "Yes, Sir!" and mean Fcuk You. And you'll know it.

One eyed Jack

seamus wrote: »

You're right. Get confidence, stupid!

This is a "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps" type of logic, OEJ.

"Patients who don't feel involved in their health provision should just get involved!"

Patients are incredibly slow to complain while they're in hospital, for obvious reasons. Waiting for people to speak up for themselves doesn't work. That's the system we have now.

If someone prefers being called by a pet name or nickname while in hospital, then they should speak up and say that rather than inflicting it on the rest of us.

You’re doing the same as the people who think these policies are a good idea. You’re making blanket assumptions that patients don’t speak up for themselves, when in my experience, they do - when something actually bothers someone to the point where they feel strongly enough about it to speak up about it, they do.

I can understand if we were speaking about children here and how they often need someone to speak for them, but this idea is treating adults like children, suggesting that they aren’t capable of saying to a nurse or a doctor “Don’t call me love, thanks, I prefer to be called by my name”. Any time I’ve ever seen policies like these introduced, it makes the people who are supposed to adhere to the policies anxious in case they use the wrong term and someone is offended.

It’s the same sort of politically correct motivations that drives policies like now referring to pregnant women or expectant mothers as ‘pregnant persons’. I personally would find it unnatural and unnecessary, as it’s generally not people’s natural way of speaking to each other.

If the idea is to break down the perceived barriers between an authoritative figure and their patients, then you have to allow for people to make their own judgement call as to how they speak to people, and how people wish to be spoken to. It’s clearly a very individual thing that shouldn’t be addressed with a blanket policy.

It would be like if my consultant had constantly corrected me every time I called him ‘doc’. I’d genuinely forget every time, and I’d only remember afterwards, but he never said anything. That’s someone I would put more trust in than someone who was pulling me up every time on their title. The patient-medical professional relationship goes both ways, and at it’s foundation is human interaction and being comfortable enough with each other that we’re not so obsessed with being petty, but rather we’re both able to speak to each other as we naturally speak to people. The idea is authenticity rather than faking the way we speak to each other as dictated by policy rather than humanity.

freshpopcorn

Samuel Vimes wrote: »

My partner has been in hospital for the last month , very ill. She finds being being referred to as "dear" as condescending and patronising.
Good to see action being taken on it.

How dare you refer to your partner as a She.
How do you know tour partner still identifies as a She?

BeerWolf

Samuel Vimes wrote: »

My partner has been in hospital for the last month , very ill. She finds being being referred to as "dear" as condescending and patronising.
Good to see action being taken on it.

How the feck is saying "dear" even remotely condescending or patronizing, unless they meant she was expensive...? :rolleyes:

B0jangles

freshpopcorn wrote: »

How dare you refer to your partner as a She.
How do you know tour partner still identifies as a She?

Are you seriously, genuinely making a "Did you just assume my gender???" joke?
That shíte was thoroughly played out at least two years ago.
You need to get up to date - maybe watch a few episodes of Mrs Brown's Boys to get some fresher material?

freshpopcorn

B0jangles wrote: »

Are you seriously, genuinely making a "Did you just assume my gender???" joke?
That shíte was thoroughly played out at least two years ago.
You need to get up to date - maybe watch a few episodes of Mrs Brown's Boys to get some fresher material?

It wasn't a joke!

B0jangles

freshpopcorn wrote: »

It wasn't a joke!

Well, yeah, cos jokes are supposed to be funny aren't they!


(LOL)

Ken.

Maybe if the government got off their holes and hired extra nurses the ones that are there would be able to remember a few people's names.

Rather than the loads of patients they have to try to remember at present.

SEPT 23 1989

they fiddle while Rome burns

Sundew

k99_64 wrote: »

In Nottingham its 'duck'

In Manchester it’s “ Chuck” :-D

quite often when Im on the phone with a customer service lady in the UK, she will end the conversation with 'love', especially if you are ringing the midlands. I have to say I like it.


When a person is sick, I would think that being in a positive frame of mind would greatly contribute to their recovery. In other words it can only help if we are pleasant and caring towards one another, particularly in a hospital where there can be a lot of trauma and stress.

rgodard80a

Gracelynn Panicky Ticker wrote: »

A bit of warmth and affection never hurt anybody.

Tell that to the burns unit.

Sundew

Yoghurt87 wrote: »

This is a positive step for all the reasons Seamus mentioned. And they might stop saying “Good girl” to grown women in labour while they’re at it.

My local vet is gonna get it next time he delivers a calf. The family cow does not want to be called “ good girl” anymore!

Fookin ridiculous pc crap!!!!! After spending two weeks in hospital I can well tell ya there is a lot more serious stuff being mouthed by staff, then terms of endearment like “love”.
The lovely tea lady from Rialto has full permission to call this “ culshie” “ Love” if she wants. Slippy ,slippy slope we are on here!

Can the term “ love” be included on UNESCOS word protection list?

Reati

Esel wrote: »

U OK, hun?

Have too be. Will pm ya hun place is full of snakes xoxox

Charles Babbage

I would be happy with "esteemed taxpayer".

dr.fuzzenstein

BeerWolf wrote: »

How the feck is saying "dear" even remotely condescending or patronizing, unless they meant she was expensive...? :rolleyes:

Dunno, some snowflake crap...
As I said, people are up their own holes.
"I Demand Respect!" will get you anything but. My favourite reply is "respect is earned and you haven't".

EdgeCase

They could just refer to you as your PPS number:

"Greetings human unit number 1234567N. Are you operating within normal parameters this morning?

rather than "How are you this morning Mary love?"

Can't beat a bit of cold and heartless HSE bureaucracy to make you feel better.

Mrs OBumble

One eyed Jack wrote: »

You’re doing the same as the people who think these policies are a good idea. You’re making blanket assumptions that patients don’t speak up for themselves, when in my experience, they do - when something actually bothers someone to the point where they feel strongly enough about it to speak up about it, they do.

....

If the idea is to break down the perceived barriers between an authoritative figure and their patients, then you have to allow for people to make their own judgement call as to how they speak to people, and how people wish to be spoken to......

I don't have links, but am 99% certain that the change is backed up by actual scientific research, which includes looking at people's brain wave patterns when addressed by name vs by a generic term. Notice that paramedics and emergency response staff are trained to make heavy use of personal names

The thing about having medical staff express their personality in this way is that it reduces the patient's personality.

Doctors room ghost

What a fcukin time to be alive.

Pyr0

More nonsense from people who have nothing better to do then moan about things that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things.

"Oh they kept calling me 'dear', i felt so patronised", what are you expecting? A clinical, soulless experience?

Personally, i find such terms add a bit more warmth and care to an already uncomfortable situation.

I can understand within a health care environment the importance of being seen as a person rather than just a patient in a bed. We are so vulnerable when sick and really at the mercy of the professionals. However the odd "love" "dear" "pet" can be comforting. In my experience alot of older staff, particularly care attendants, use the terms. It doesn't cost me a thought. If you get offended by these terms then really you have very little to be worrying about. The same really as taking offence at a song written decades ago.

I'm reminded of a few weeks ago when in a completely different setting a young lad gave me a hand with bags of sticks. I thanked him and he said "you're welcome my dear". What a nice young man I thought to myself

namloc1980

Deleted User wrote: »

I'm reminded of a few weeks ago when in a completely different setting a young lad gave me a hand with bags of sticks. I thanked him and he said "you're welcome my dear". What a nice young man I thought to myself

You should've sued him for grossly offending you.

kneemos

Look. This sounds like PC nonsense,so no way I'm going to agree with it even when it's been explained.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Considering the bed crisis and unhappy front line staff across the countries hospitals, I think they’ve bigger fish to fry than someone being called dear.

ohnonotgmail

Pyr0 wrote: »

More nonsense from people who have nothing better to do then moan about things that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things.

"Oh they kept calling me 'dear', i felt so patronised", what are you expecting? A clinical, soulless experience?

Personally, i find such terms add a bit more warmth and care to an already uncomfortable situation.

How about calling people by their name? Its a crazy idea but it just might work.

minikin

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

How about calling people by their name? Its a crazy idea but it just might work.

How about they are left to concentrate on remembering their duties rather than remembering a load of names.

ohnonotgmail

minikin wrote: »

How about they are left to concentrate on remembering their duties rather than remembering a load of names.

If they cant even remember a patients name what are they incapable of remembering about the patient?

NSAman

Wonder if they will ban the term “walkie Talkie’s” in relation to patients also?

No issue with Dear or Luv, especially from those Tea ladies (persons)..lol

retro:electro

Samuel Vimes wrote: »

No.
She finds the expression patronising and dismissive.

Would she not just them to use her name then instead of waiting for it to be outlawed?

My mam would deal with nurses regularly and they have become so familiar with one another that terms like “pet” and “dear” would roll off the tongue without even thinking about it. It can be a way of making a vulnerable patient feel comforted or just a friendly expression to someone you’ve known for years through the job. If it’s something that makes you uncomfortable then ask them to stop. Someday soon this country will be a totally hollow and robotic shell of its former self if we keep stripping away things that have ever meant something to people.

spurious

'What is your address dear?' - Not really OK.

'I know it hurts love, but this injection will help with the pain' - OK in my book.

Context is all.

namloc1980

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

If they cant even remember a patients name what are they incapable of remembering about the patient?

Oh FFS. Their skills are not remembering the names of 30 people on a ward which changes daily. "Jaysus, she was a crap nurse, but by fcuk could she remember a name".

ohnonotgmail

retro:electro wrote: »

Would she not just them to use her name then instead of waiting for it to be outlawed?

My mam would deal with nurses regularly and they have become so familiar with one another that terms like “pet” and “dear” would roll off the tongue without even thinking about it. It can be a way of making a vulnerable patient feel comforted or just a friendly expression to someone you’ve known for years through the job. If it’s something that makes you uncomfortable then ask them to stop. Someday soon this country will be a totally hollow and robotic shell of its former self if we keep stripping away things that have ever meant something to people.

Some people will put up with being patronised rather than complain to what they see is an authority figure.

One eyed Jack

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

I don't have links, but am 99% certain that the change is backed up by actual scientific research, which includes looking at people's brain wave patterns when addressed by name vs by a generic term. Notice that paramedics and emergency response staff are trained to make heavy use of personal names

The thing about having medical staff express their personality in this way is that it reduces the patient's personality.

I’m not dismissing the scientific research that has been done as I’m aware of it too, but the limitations of any undertaking in scientific research is that their conclusions are by definition broadly based, rather than presenting any conclusive evidence about individuals.

Paramedics and emergency response staff are trained to use people’s names because in those circumstances they are testing people’s reactions - people react to familiarity differently than they do when they are anxious, stressed or surrounded by unfamiliarity. Hospitals are the very definition of a place where there is anxiety, stress and unfamiliarity for a patient - none of us generally spend all our time in hospitals unless we’re a member of staff or we work there in some other capacity. The staff who work there generally will see dozens of patients in any given day.

Sure, they could as you suggested earlier just look at your name on your chart and address your by your name, and I’m aware of the cognitive and social scientific explanations which suggest when speaking to someone that it’s better to use their name, but a policy like this will only mean staff will tend to go overboard in using your name in every single sentence so they aren’t pulled up on not adhering to the policy.

I’ve seen policies like this in action and I’ve always perceived them to be an attempt to police how people speak to each other because someone complained that not referring to them by their proper title was a micro-aggression. It ended up being a situation where people were afraid to speak to one another as they were more concerned with not taking the risk of offending anyone for fear of disciplinary action against them.

It didn’t make for a very comfortable place to work, it didn’t do anything to reassure ordinary people that we were a competent organisation, in fact it was quite the opposite of professionalism, because it was entirely based upon removing people’s autonomy from them and suggesting that they weren’t capable of using their own judgement to assess a situation.

I’ve never felt as though my personality was reduced by being referred to by any pet names, I understand that it’s how some people speak colloquially and express familiarity with people who are strangers to them. I know we feel differently about this but I personally would rather anyone involved in my case felt at ease with me rather than anxious and unable to give their 100% focus to my care because they’re worried about addressing me by my proper title.

It’s very reminiscent of Bishop Brennan - “You will address me by my proper title you little bollix”, it’s manufactured respect as opposed to authentic and genuine respect for people.

namloc1980

namloc1980 wrote: »

You should've sued him for grossly offending you.

It's real "stop the world I want to get off stuff". Give me a week in the company of Donald Trump over one with the always offended.

ohnonotgmail

namloc1980 wrote: »

Oh FFS. Their skills are not remembering the madness of 30 people on a ward which changes daily. "Jaysus, she was a crap nurse, but by fcuk could she remember a name".

You think remembering a name is more difficult than remembering the medical conditions of their patients? The last few times i have been in to hospitals it has been the norm to refer to patients by their name.

Il Fascista

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

Some people will put up with being patronised rather than complain to what they see is an authority figure.

Where does the patronizing element come from though?

ohnonotgmail

Il Fascista wrote: »

Where does the patronizing element come from though?

If a nurse called me "dear" i would consider it patronising. Luckily I seem to only interact with professionals who call me by my name.

namloc1980

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

You think remembering a name is more difficult than remembering the medical conditions of their patients? The last few times i have been in to hospitals it has been the norm to refer to patients by their name.

If it's the norm then why are the HSE getting their knickers in a twist over this so?

ohnonotgmail

namloc1980 wrote: »

If it's the norm then why are the HSE getting their knickers in a twist over this so?

If it is the norm (and i am not saying it is i am just relating my experience) then why are people here getting their knickers in a twist over the "change"?

Pyr0

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

If it is the norm (and i am not saying it is i am just relating my experience) then why are people here getting their knickers in a twist over the "change"?

Because I feel its yet another example of the vocal minority causing unnecessary changes in society just so they don't feel "patronised, talked down to or belittled"

If that's all it takes for someone to feel like that then they shouldn't leave the house.

ohnonotgmail

Pyr0 wrote: »

Because I feel its yet another example of the vocal minority causing unnecessary changes in society just so they don't feel "patronised, talked down to or belittled"

If that's all it takes for someone to feel like that then they shouldn't leave the house.

You dont get to decide how somebody else should feel.

nthclare

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

If they cant even remember a patients name what are they incapable of remembering about the patient?

I couldn't give a toss if someone didn't remember my name, it's principles before personality.

Fck me, if I had a chainsaw injury all I'd be worried about is getting looked after.
I'd much prefer the paramedics or nurses saying "you poor bastard" we'll look after you, this might hurt like **** son, but mate you'll be ok...

My bollix I wont be thinking he just said I'm a Bastard,then said I'm economically challenged, then calls me son how fcken dare he.
I'm not his friend either
This is a ghastly outrage, everybody stop stop

I demand some one else to fix me....he's not a nice cis man.

Meanwhile some PC brigade comes in twenty minutes later, too late to save my leg now....

It's all the first guys fault..he wasn't​ nice enough to me...

Another thing I noticed, is a lot of these new age softies easily offended men come from broken home's and lack of an alpha dad or uncle to spend time with.
Nothing wrong with a father giving a son some lifeskills.

Actually I think there's more alpha masculine gay men out there now than alpha straight guys.

Some of the best chainsaw workmanship I've ever seen was from a Gay couple who are tree surgeons, they are basically manly men...

Pyr0

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

You dont get to decide how somebody else should feel.

Yeah but I can choose not to care, which I don't.

ohnonotgmail

nthclare wrote: »

I couldn't give a toss if someone didn't remember my name, it's principles before personality.

Fck me, if I had a chainsaw injury all I'd be worried about is getting looked after.
I'd much prefer the paramedics or nurses saying "you poor bastard" we'll look after you, this might hurt like **** son, but mate you'll be ok...

My bollix I wont be thinking he just said I'm a Bastard,then said I'm economically challenged, then calls me son how fcken dare he.
I'm not his friend either
This is a ghastly outrage, everybody stop stop

I demand some one else to fix me....he's not a nice cis man.

Meanwhile some PC brigade comes in twenty minutes later, too late to save my leg now....

It's all the first guys fault..he wasn't​ nice enough to me...

Another thing I noticed, is a lot of these new age softies easily offended men come from broken home's and lack of an alpha dad or uncle to spend time with.
Nothing wrong with a father giving a son some lifeskills.

Actually I think there's more alpha masculine gay men out there now than alpha straight guys.

Some of the best chainsaw workmanship I've ever seen was from a Gay couple who are tree surgeons, they are basically manly men...

and they say the PC brigade are snowflakes.