Speech difficulties in 18 month toddler

jimmurt

Hi,

My son who is 18 months old is a little behind in his speech. Everything else is good but he hasn't managed to say too many words and mostly just talks gibberish.

I have talked with some friends and family members who have said that while he seems a little behind, it's not bad and we should let him catch up in his own time.

My father told me my younger brother had the same (well way worse) issues and they brought him to a speech therapist but when he was 4 or 5 years old. He said, to bring a toddler to one would be over reacting and of no use.
My brother caught and have no issues in primary school.

My ex is panicking a bit and wants to start with speech therapy now. She says if we don't bring him now the problem might stay.

I'm caught between the two camps, I don't want to shrug my shoulders and ignore it but at the same time my ex is a massive worrier and 9 months ago we had the same situation but with his movement and walking progression and now he is doing great.

So just looking for an similar cases here and some more advise from people who might have been or are in similar situations.

I know I can seek expert advise but we are separated (by more than a few miles) and so getting advise without actually being able to bring my son with me, would be difficult.

Thanks and sorry for the long post.

nthclare

He's only 18 monthly old, he'll find his own way.

I know kids of two and a half even 3 who still talk in their own way.

It's not really gibberish, believe you me when he gets to an age where he'll be talking back you'll remember how endearing the gibberish was.

I see where you're coming from and understand you worrying.

Enjoy it as he'll never be 18 month's again, I've been there and it's nothing to do with you or your partner's parenting.

It shows how loving ye are, you're a loving parent and that's what it's all about Love

farmchoice

well to keep everyone happy i'd bring him to a speech therapist who will no doubt tell you that there is nothing to worry about at this stage and go home and see how the next 12 months go.

Dravokivich

It usually seems to be drips and drabs then they'll eventually explode with all kinds of words. I'd suggest working on their comprehension first, to see if they can understand what's being said. From there coax him into expressing yes/no.

Some people put a lot of pressure on my son to speak when he was around the same age as your kid. Too much pressure and they'll just shut in.

bovril

My eldest had very few words at her two year check with the phn. The phn mentioned assessment for speech therapy if things didn't improve in the following 6 months. I asked to put her name on the list anyway as the wait time was something like 12 weeks. Shortly after she turned two she greatly improved her speech. When the speech therapist eventually rang she asked a series of questions about my daughter's speech and over the phone she told me there wasn't a problem. Every child develops at their own pace. Personally I think 18 months a little early to be signing up for therapy. Could you talk to your phn about it? Maybe find out what time the wait is for therapy in your area and maybe put a plan in place to be assessed at 2.5 years or 3 or whenever the phn thinks would be a good point.

jlm29

There’s a check at two years by the PHN- I wouldn’t worry about it until then. I was advised by the phn at some point that they should be stringing two or three words together by their second birthday.
My lb is the same age, and has very few words- my last boy was the same, but really picked up after he turned two. My oldest guy talked non stop, and had loads of words by age 2. They’re all so different

splinter65

My eldest brother (now a retired psychiatric nurse) hadn’t 10 words when he started school 50 years ago. He’s still a man of few words. Of far more concern to me would be the increasing likelihood of transferring your wife’s constant anxiety to your child. Even quite small children pick up on these things and start worrying themselves.
She has a long long way to go to 21/22 and beyond with this little boy. Of course we all worry constantly about our kids. To the grave we do. But creating a crisis about every single concern and running to seek professional help just so you can be reassured is not good for any of you.
Your wife should try to get some help for herself in order to learn how to deal with the pressure of being a parent. So your son and she and you can all enjoy rather than endure his childhood.

Plumbthedepths

jimmurt wrote:

My father told me my younger brother had the same (well way worse) issues and they brought him to a speech therapist but when he was 4 or 5 years old. He said, to bring a toddler to one would be over reacting and of no use. My brother caught and have no issues in primary school.

Go with your father's advice. My youngest son was exactly the same. Very quick at everything else except the speech. Went to a therapist at 4/5. All sorted and he caught up with his peer group in no time. He's 18 now, sometimes I regret bringing him...joking. Again your Dad is right.

ted1

Don’t worry about it. Allkids are different sndbiyd tend to be slower to hit these marks.

Our youngest was miles behind his two sisters with regards speech. But far ahead of them in other aspects such as getting things fone. His sisters would ask for food. He’d drag a stool and get it himself so he didn’t need to ask.

og2k7

Every kid is different: our son wouldnt talk properly until he was almost 3. Then it was full sentences and some words that I dont even know where he picked up from. Our daughter started when she was 2 so it just all depends.

We were told by many different people to be patient and just give them more time

KyCoo

Speech therapy should help. Stay calm. DOn't panic. Everything will be alright.

jimmurt

Thanks for the replies.

I probably should have explained more. My son and ex are not in the same country as me.

I do not 100% trust what the Doctors there say, or at the very least I don´t trust my ex´s interpretation of what they say


As I said, last year these doctors / my ex were making out like he had big issues with his walking, which now has gone away.

The suggestion to bring him to a speech therapist would work if he were here. But if he went over there, I can guarantee that the outlook would be bad and the suggestion would be speech therapy every week, starting asap.

shesty

I'm a bit confused. The child is not currently in the same country as you?
Out of curiousity, does your opinion matter in this? What I mean is, will the mother do her own thing anyway?
If the child is having two languages spoken to him, he will be slightly more delayed anyway.
I am currently keeping an eye on my 2.5 year old .To date, she has been assessed, only because we have access to an SLT who did it as a favour. Her take was that the little one is fine, and such problems that could possibly be there wouldn't be even assessed again until 4/5 years old, that she was too young - and she would probably grow out of the issues anyway. Her speech has absolutely leaped in the last 2 months or so anyway. At 18 months, the likely outcome of the assessment is for the parents to do most of the work anyway. I have heard the comment that if you start suddenly focusing strongly on speech at that age and obsessing over it with them, they can turn on you and stop making any effort!!!

It sounds like regardless of country the child will be brought to an SLT for an assessment at least anyway, am I right? I suppose what's the harm in that?

jimmurt

shesty wrote: »

I'm a bit confused. The child is not currently in the same country as you?
Out of curiousity, does your opinion matter in this? What I mean is, will the mother do her own thing anyway?
If the child is having two languages spoken to him, he will be slightly more delayed anyway.
I am currently keeping an eye on my 2.5 year old .To date, she has been assessed, only because we have access to an SLT who did it as a favour. Her take was that the little one is fine, and such problems that could possibly be there wouldn't be even assessed again until 4/5 years old, that she was too young - and she would probably grow out of the issues anyway. Her speech has absolutely leaped in the last 2 months or so anyway. At 18 months, the likely outcome of the assessment is for the parents to do most of the work anyway. I have heard the comment that if you start suddenly focusing strongly on speech at that age and obsessing over it with them, they can turn on you and stop making any effort!!!

It sounds like regardless of country the child will be brought to an SLT for an assessment at least anyway, am I right? I suppose what's the harm in that?

My opinion doesn´t matter no to be honest. I dont have much rights when it comes to the decision making process. The country is not in Europe. But I am expected to pay for these things so if I am strongly against it I won´t pay for it. Note: The money wouldnt be an issue if I thought he needed it, but I cannot afford to throw anyway money on a weekly expense just because my ex has decided he needs the therapist. That money could be used for him at a later date.

Hence the looking for advise, I dont want to be just making up my own mind to save money if he needs it. But talking to fmaily members they say I would be crazy to send an 18 month toddler to a speech therapist as it would do more harm than good.

shesty

Ah right, if you're paying for it that's a bit different.Yeah, to be honest I wouldn't be rushing a child to a speech therapist unless there was a fairly big obvious problem I suppose-they are still so young at that age.Is there a developmental check at 2 that she could wait for?So much change happens around 2/3 that 18 months could be quite young to start into speech therapy.

fits

Can the child point, clap, wave, reach to be picked up? These are all early stages of speech and language development

drunkmonkey

Don't panic, there all different. They seem to jump on any little thing these days, I find you have to learn to talk to children, you can't just ask how was your day you might as well ask them to recite the bible, big question for a little person.
At 18mts though, i'd be just trying different things, have you one of these balls https://www.melissaanddoug.com/2-in-1-talking-ball-learning-toy/9181.html you can pick them up in most toy stores, will help them count to 10 pretty easy.
I know you probably shouldn't let kids look at TV but in fairness to Baby TV they do love it when there little and it teaches them things.

Go along with the early stage checks, if there's something wrong it should flag up there otherwise don't panic, they'll be answering you back long enough once they do find their groove.

jimmurt

fits wrote: »

Can the child point, clap, wave, reach to be picked up? These are all early stages of speech and language development

Yes and has been doing so for months. He can also climb and move large objects around like stools and small chairs.


Thanks for all the replies. It´s good to get some nuetral input from people with kids.

drunkmonkey

Can he walk, we were trying with our first guy for ages, then one of the girls in the creche just put him straight up against a wall and off he took, tried the same thing with number 2 and off he went again straight down the hall, such a simple little trick and we were wrecking our heads about it for months.

jimmurt

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Can he walk, we were trying with our first guy for ages, then one of the girls in the creche just put him straight up against a wall and off he took, tried the same thing with number 2 and off he went again straight down the hall, such a simple little trick and we were wrecking our heads about it for months.

Yeah without any issues. He can also climb over furniture and onto beds etc.

So my scepticism of this new "problem" is borne out of the fact that 6 months ago I was literally told that he is showing signs of being physically retarded cos he wasn´t progressing at the same rate of other kids. Note I was told that this was what the "experts" were saying.

PhoenixParker

I’ve always found this useful:
https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-18mo.html

From your description, he has a few words and meets the other milestones.
Revisit at two years, but there’s nothing much concerning right now.

aristotle25

18 months old? I mean, by age two they are supposed to have around 50 words but its not a hard and fast rule.

My kids have maybe 20 words by age two and within about 4 months were doing two and three word sentances. It can turn around very quick.

At 18 months I wouldn't consider a speech therapist. Wait until at least 2 and perhaps nearer 2.5 if the words are not coming.

fits

aristotle25 wrote: »

18 months old? I mean, by age two they are supposed to have around 50 words but its not a hard and fast rule.

My kids have maybe 20 words by age two and within about 4 months were doing two and three word sentances. It can turn around very quick.

At 18 months I wouldn't consider a speech therapist. Wait until at least 2 and perhaps nearer 2.5 if the words are not coming.

In our case we were seen by a slt around the eighteen month mark as one of my boys has a global delay. He was late to point and wave etc.
but the child in this op sounds fine.

Day Lewin

Eighteen months is a bit too young to be concerned about speech. Children reach developmental stages at different individual pace.

If he's still incomprehensible at 3, then that's the time that speech therapy can be helpful. (maybe!)

More important, as others have said, is that language skills are developing: understanding, communication, responding, etc. Actually saying the words isn't the first thing!

Two of mine needed speech therapy - one at 3, one at 7 - and they both have higher degrees now. Sit easy!