Employer forcing me to work over Christmas

givyjoe

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

Did your mother live alone and suffer from cancer?

The attitude of some folks is sickening to be honest. It's one thing to offer an alternative pov, but Jesus wept. The lack of empathy for the op's personal situation, from a number of posters is pathetic, not least considering the time of year.

Turbohymac

Unfortunately. We all have had similar issues as the op. At different times in our lives ..But the employer has a business to run and it may sound harsh but the employer doesn't have any contract or duty of care to your mother also it's not the employer's duty or role to provide transport to or from work during Christmas..if you normally take public transport and that's not available over Christmas..then taxi..friend with car..bicycle .walk etc..
I'm aware of the situation you find yourself in .. but it's you and your family's duty to ensure that your mother is cared for adequately over Christmas while you work for your employer.. and you should separate the many issues relating to your mother's illness and the fact that you actually have a job and a contract to carry out work for your employer and in turn you get paid..
Finally as for some of the foolish poster's that advise you to quit the job and find a new one in the new year..well that's fairly stupid..as we might all love to take that easy. Quit our existing job approach..BUT what happens when you only get a very vague cv from your existing employer and any new employer will almost certainly check with your past employer....
Take care. Chill out and simply put a care plan in place for your mother and go to work and stop blaming your employer theres enough unemployed people out there or maybe you want to join them
I have been in exactly similar circumstances twice over the past 10 years but I managed to separate my work commitments from my private life.that included a terminally I'll mother that actually passed away while I was at work..definitely not my employers fault and on another occasion my wife was in hospital for 18 weeks solid..my employer at that time was also understanding to my plight but I was still employed and there was ongoing jobs/maintenance to be done
Hope this makes sense to you op..
Separate job from your personal problems...

splinter65

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

Did your mother live alone and suffer from cancer?

OP has the option to take Carers Leave and get Carers Benefit.

SusieBlue

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

Did your mother live alone and suffer from cancer?

How do you know OPs colleagues don’t have sick relatives who live alone?
It’s an inconsiderate thing to do. You have no idea of her colleagues circumstances or personal situations. You have no idea what impact OP calling in sick will have on them.

Of course it can be argued that it’s not OPs problem, which would be true. But imagine if OP had booked the day off using annual leave to spend with her sick mother and ended up having to work because a colleague who had used up all their holidays had called in sick?
It’s just a nasty thing to do.

con___manx1

Mr.H wrote: »

Great attitude. No problem with life being more important than work. The problem is i am going to have to pay your bills because your too lazy to look after your own responsibilities.

How am I lazy because I had to use a sick note a few times in my working life ? I pay my own bills very comfortably dont you worry about that.

Jim2007

Heckler wrote: »

You really want someone to be working a probably pointless job ( sorry don't mean security in general just if its a pointless exercise over a slow period
unless you're in Nakatomi Plaza on christmas) to the detriment of their sick mother ?

Obviously the people paying to have their property protected to no thinking it is a pointless job, far from it. Especially during a quite period such as Christmas.

At no point it this conversation did the OP indicate how sick the mother was, in fact she could be in remission for all we know. You are just projecting simple as that.

Heckler wrote: »

Get your prioritories straight.

You are the one that needs to get your priorities right.

con___manx1

rex-x wrote: »

A doctors note explains your absence from work but does NOT excuse it. You can still be disciplined/fired even with a sick note. You live on a planet different to the rest of us and are providing horrendous advice

If it was my mother id be calling in sick. life is to short. Christmas is a time for family. It could be her last chritmas with her mother god forbid. You cant be fired for having a sick note. are you even living in Ireland ?

Ursus Horribilis

It's easy to suggest from behind the safety of a screen that she simply calls in sick, life's too short etc. In reality, her not showing up on Christmas Day could have consequences for her. They mightn't sack her for producing a sick note but it has been well flagged that she didn't want to work on that day. Come January there might suddenly be no need for her services (too many staff, not enough jobs to go around) and she could find herself job hunting. Can she afford this financially?

zapper55

What many posters seem to be forgetting is that the OP already asked for the day off and hasn't got it. So taking that day as a sick day, note or not will look suspicious. And may result in a disciplinary action or dismissal.

A sick note isn't a magical get out of jail free card.

OP I do think your manager was fobbing you off by not outrightly refusing your leave until the last minute. But it was your responsibility to clarify that. It's too late now. I'd suggest have your mam come to your house tomorrow when there is public transport and you can eat together before or after your shift on Tuesday.

Jim2007

con___manx1 wrote: »

If it was my mother id be calling in sick. life is to short. Christmas is a time for family. It could be her last chritmas with her mother god forbid. You cant be fired for having a sick note. are you even living in Ireland ?

Well first of all, there is nothing to suggest what the mother’s current condition is, but we can assume that she is in some kind of stable condition, there is no mention of having to visit her in hospital, otherwise why is this person still working away?

And secondly you can of course be fired even if you have a sick note.

Mr.H

con___manx1 wrote: »

How am I lazy because I had to use a sick note a few times in my working life ? I pay my own bills very comfortably dont you worry about that.

Using a sick note is fine. Using a sick note when your not sick is lazy.

Sardonicat

Jim2007 wrote: »

con___manx1 wrote: »

If it was my mother id be calling in sick. life is to short. Christmas is a time for family. It could be her last chritmas with her mother god forbid. You cant be fired for having a sick note. are you even living in Ireland ?

Well first of all, there is nothing to suggest what the mother’s current condition is, but we can assume that she is in some kind of stable condition, there is no mention of having to visit her in hospital, otherwise why is this person still working away?

And secondly you can of course be fired even if you have a sick note.

Just because someone with cancer isn't in hospital doesn't mean that they are not ill/weak /unable to prepare a meal or indeed contemplating the possibillity that this could be their laz5t Christmas.How'd you like to have cancer and spend Christmas day alone? WTF is wrong with some of the people on this thread?

givyjoe

Jim2007 wrote: »

Well first of all, there is nothing to suggest what the mother’s current condition is, but we can assume that she is in some kind of stable condition, there is no mention of having to visit her in hospital, otherwise why is this person still working away?

And secondly you can of course be fired even if you have a sick note.

The op specifically stated she is not in a fit condition to travel. No need to assume anything.

Secondly, you cannot be fired 'even if you have a sick note'. It isn't a simple as that.

givyjoe

Mr.H wrote: »

Using a sick note is fine. Using a sick note when your not sick is lazy.

Yeah, what a lazy cnut not wanting to leave her mother (suffering with cancer) alone on Christmas day.

Mr.H

givyjoe wrote: »

Yeah, what a lazy cnut not wanting to leave her mother (suffering with cancer) alone on Christmas day.

SO why doesnt the OP's brother seem to be quiting his job or calling in sick? Maybe its not the responsible thing to do?

We have all had issues at one stage or another.

I remember being called in the middle of the night because a very close relative died in a horrific incident. I had to be there for family and then go to work only hours later because I was the boss. There was nobody to fake sickness to. I got cover when I was at work but I had to go in. If I didnt then I wouldnt have been in the job much longer and I would be struggling to pay my mortgage and my bills. My kids would go hungry.

We all have to deal with out personal stuff and it sucks when times are hard. But work is very important and without it your kids will go hungry.

But yea I am sure your attitude is probably thats what the dole is for etc

con___manx1

Mr.H wrote: »

SO why doesnt the OP's brother seem to be quiting his job or calling in sick? Maybe its not the responsible thing to do?

We have all had issues at one stage or another.

I remember being called in the middle of the night because a very close relative died in a horrific incident. I had to be there for family and then go to work only hours later because I was the boss. There was nobody to fake sickness to. I got cover when I was at work but I had to go in. If I didnt then I wouldnt have been in the job much longer and I would be struggling to pay my mortgage and my bills. My kids would go hungry.

We all have to deal with out personal stuff and it sucks when times are hard. But work is very important and without it your kids will go hungry.

But yea I am sure your attitude is probably thats what the dole is for etc

We are not in recessionary times at the moment. The op lives in dublin. There are so many jobs its ridiculous. Im sure her kids wont go hungry if she gives her boss the finger and spends christmas with her mother.

splinter65

givyjoe wrote: »

The op specifically stated she is not in a fit condition to travel. No need to assume anything.

Secondly, you cannot be fired 'even if you have a sick note'. It isn't a simple as that.

I’m interested in this. How are you going to prevent your boss from firing you?

givyjoe

Mr.H wrote: »

SO why doesnt the OP's brother seem to be quiting his job or calling in sick? Maybe its not the responsible thing to do?

We have all had issues at one stage or another.

I remember being called in the middle of the night because a very close relative died in a horrific incident. I had to be there for family and then go to work only hours later because I was the boss. There was nobody to fake sickness to. I got cover when I was at work but I had to go in. If I didnt then I wouldnt have been in the job much longer and I would be struggling to pay my mortgage and my bills. My kids would go hungry.

We all have to deal with out personal stuff and it sucks when times are hard. But work is very important and without it your kids will go hungry.

But yea I am sure your attitude is probably thats what the dole is for etc

My attitude? Showing empathy to someone who's mother is ill with cancer, and going to be alone for Christmas, terrible attitude alright.

Pretty pathetic comment re: the dole, i.e the sentiment AND the construction of the sentence.

TheAnalyst_

Interesting to see the responses. About 30-40% of people are doormats who will never stand up for themselves.

It’s a ****ty throwaway job so get another one in January. Enjoy your Christmas.

Ursus Horribilis

We're not doormats. We're realists. The OP is in an industry where people are dispensable. She could well end up losing her job in the near future over this. If that's the risk she's willing to take, fine. Maybe this will spur her on to find another job and to learn how to drive so she's not dependent on other people in the future

raclle

OP take the time off on xmas and spend it with your mum. I wouldn't have to think twice about a decision like that. Jobs are like partners they come and go but family is for life.

Mrs OBumble

Sardonicat wrote: »

Just because someone with cancer isn't in hospital doesn't mean that they are not ill/weak /unable to prepare a meal or indeed contemplating the possibillity that this could be their laz5t Christmas.How'd you like to have cancer and spend Christmas day alone? WTF is wrong with some of the people on this thread?

There is nothing in the OPs post to suggest that is the case. Drama queen much.

I'll guarantee that there are hundreds if not thousands of people in the area that the mother is in, and out of that several people who wouls be more than happy to have her for Christmas dinner.

Sardonicat

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

Sardonicat wrote: »

Just because someone with cancer isn't in hospital doesn't mean that they are not ill/weak /unable to prepare a meal or indeed contemplating the possibillity that this could be their laz5t Christmas.How'd you like to have cancer and spend Christmas day alone? WTF is wrong with some of the people on this thread?

There is nothing in the OPs post to suggest that is the case. Drama queen much.

I'll guarantee that there are hundreds if not thousands of people in the area that the mother is in, and out of that several people who wouls be more than happy to have her for Christmas dinner.

Her mother is too weak to travel. Her mother currently has cancer and is unaware of her longterm prognosis. Of course there's a possibility that this could be her last Christmas. But that's OK cos she can go spend it with strangers.

Your reply disgusts me.

Mr.H

Well op i hope everything does work out for you on both the work and personal front. I wont be checking this thread anymore as i worry people are giving you very bad advice (they may not be). Talk to your brother, your mother and your friends. The people that love you and care about the outcome of your decisions.

My last nugget of wisdom, if you could even call it that, is that just consider everything before making rash calls. Look at how long youll be at work and if there is any way to make it work. Either way thats what you need to base your decision on. Its all well and good me saying dont mess up your job. Its equally well and good others saying screw the job. I can only assume (even though it wont be) that everyone giving advise means well. But only you need to live with the outcome of your actions. Jobs do come and go but reputations stay. If the biggest employer in your field says you have a bad reputation then maybe its time to look at another field. Either way, go to work or dont. But there is a bigger picture. You will be affecting your job, at least to some degree. You will also be forcing someone to give up their Christmas when they had it booked off. Someone who might also be having a bad year.

I hope it does work out but more importantly i hope you have many many wonderful Christmas's ahead with your mother.

Peace out and happy Christmas everyone.

antodeco

@OP, if you do decide to work and can't get in due to lack of transport, let me know. Depending on where you live/work I'll give you a lift. If it means you are less stressed for Christmas day than it's the least someone can do for Christmas

Mrs OBumble

Sardonicat wrote: »

Her mother is too weak to travel. Her mother currently has cancer and is unaware of her longterm prognosis. Of course there's a possibility that this could be her last Christmas. But that's OK cos she can go spend it with strangers.

Your reply disgusts me.

Friends and neighbours are hardly strangers. Who exactly do you think will be caring for the mother normally, with one kid in the army (ie away a lot) and the other one without a car and living miles away.

weldoninhio

splinter65 wrote: »

OP has the option to take Carers Leave and get Carers Benefit.

That’s very presumptuous.

splinter65

weldoninhio wrote: »

That’s very presumptuous.

It’s not really. The mothers GP completes the medical report stating that she needs looking after. The employer has to agree to the leave unless he can prove that the employee is indispensable. The PRSI requirement is pretty low. It’s the best thing to do best for the OP best for mother best for the employer.
OP can go for a max of 2 years and must be returned to original terms and conditions of his job after that.

weldoninhio

splinter65 wrote: »

It’s not really. The mothers GP completes the medical report stating that she needs looking after. The employer has to agree to the leave unless he can prove that the employee is indispensable. The PRSI requirement is pretty low. It’s the best thing to do best for the OP best for mother best for the employer.
OP can go for a max of 2 years and must be returned to original terms and conditions of his job after that.

Who said that the mother needs looking after??

splinter65

weldoninhio wrote: »

Who said that the mother needs looking after??

The OP feels she’s so ill that’s he/she’s had to take a lot of time off recently to care for her. The entire thread is about how he/she doesn’t think the mother should be alone on Christmas Day. Yes. The OP thinks the mother needs looking after.