Parenting/ Nurses/Legal advice

Sarah mac

Right lads and ladies
Sit down its a long one. But I need some advice. My baby is nearly four months old. She was born healthy and good weight with no problems. My first public health nurse harassed me and had me in her clinic every week to weigh her for no reason. I reported this and got assigned a new PHN. in the mean time they had me in doctors, pediatricians and bone clinics. Again no problems found. I missed a call with the new PHN yesterday. And left a message an hour later. My baby has not had her 3 month check. Next thing they arrived at my home. Stared in my front windows. I was not there. My brother and dad was. They had a social worker with them who threatened to make my life miserable for not doing things the easy way.
I contacted the number they left and they said they had not seen my baby and wanted to be sure she was okay. Again no reason. I sent an email which I don't expect to hear back from over the Christmas. I'm considering legal action. I don't know we're I stand. Health nurses visits as far as I am aware are not mandatory in ireland. They called unannounced. And I do not know what they involved social services for or if they can without taking steps first.
Now they want me in the doctors Christmas eve. Someone please help on were I stand.
Thanks

kippy

Sarah mac wrote: »

Right lads and ladies
Sit down its a long one. But I need some advice. My baby is nearly four months old. She was born healthy and good weight with no problems. My first public health nurse harassed me and had me in her clinic every week to weigh her for no reason. I reported this and got assigned a new PHN. in the mean time they had me in doctors, pediatricians and bone clinics. Again no problems found. I missed a call with the new PHN yesterday. And left a message an hour later. My baby has not had her 3 month check. Next thing they arrived at my home. Stared in my front windows. I was not there. My brother and dad was. They had a social worker with them who threatened to make my life miserable for not doing things the easy way.
I contacted the number they left and they said they had not seen my baby and wanted to be sure she was okay. Again no reason. I sent an email which I don't expect to hear back from over the Christmas. I'm considering legal action. I don't know we're I stand. Health nurses visits as far as I am aware are not mandatory in ireland. They called unannounced. And I do not know what they involved social services for or if they can without taking steps first.
Now they want me in the doctors Christmas eve. Someone please help on were I stand.
Thanks

Legal action for what?

Why aren't you engaging with these services? While I don't think they are legally mandatory they are there for a very good reason.
Engage with them or it could be you in bother with social services for neglecting to ensure your child is in good health and developing normally.
That's the top and bottom of it anyway despite what you might think.

shar01

Op you're making yourself look guilty of something. The phn has cases of genuinely neglected children and you're wasting their time. Engage, show them your child is well cared for and move on with your life.

Cash_Q

Ok there is a lot going on in your post, but twice you use the phrase "for no reason"

They wouldn't weigh your baby weekly "for no reason", they would do so to chart your baby's weight. Ok weekly might seem excessive, but really it's great to get any level of free healthcare for your baby, so I can't see the problem here.

Did they explain why they asked you to repeatedly visit GP, paediatrician and bone doctors? Particularly the bones, that's not standard practice, is there family history of issues? Or did they suspect baby had "clicky hips"? It sounds like they're doing everything to ensure your baby is well assessed, I wouldn't personally have a problem with that.

You say your baby hasn't had her 3 month check, they arrive at your house wanting to see if she's ok..."for no reason" - I suspect the very reason they want to see her is to conduct the 3 month check.

When you say that the social worker "threatened to make your life miserable" - what exactly did the social worker say? If they used those words that's fairly aggressive language to use towards you, and I'd make a complaint alright. Is it possible they used other words that you perceived to be a threat? Did they identify themselves as a social worker through the window to your dad and brother, or how exactly do you know this?

It all sounds very stressful and chaotic, but I would absolutely go to the GP on Christmas eve if that's what they've suggested, and I'd make a note of all these incidents with times and dates for your own peace of mind.

Overall, for your and your baby's health, I'd try to move on from the negative experience and maintain a positive relationship with them. Continue engaging with the service, for your baby's sake above all.

shesty

To echo what has been said above - the PHN isn't calling you in weekly, or sending you to paediatricians etc in the first four months of the baby's life just to annoy you.


My babies got 2 visits in the 2 weeks after birth, 2 GP visits that are free and they are entitled to at 2 and 6 weeks and a 3 month check up. That's it for that period. I don't know what else is going on with you and the baby, but there is clearly something. Furthermore, social workers don't show up at the door (and right before Christmas) just for a missed 3 month baby visit. There is clearly something you aren't saying here OP. My advice would be engage with the services. They are in the baby's interest and surely, that's all any mother would want.

Just to edit: OP I have seen a couple of your other posts. I would suggest you engage with the system. If for nothing else than to prove that you are taking care of the baby. Be consistent in attending your appointments, as it will be beneficial to both you and your baby in the long term. They aren't out to get you, only to make sure the baby is ok.

jlm29

I nearly invited my PHN for Christmas dinner, she was here so often to weigh my second baby who was born early December.
I do t get the issue really, it takes a couple of minutes, presumably you don’t have a hectic work schedule at the moment. Fair enough, if you have a few other kids to juggle it can be a bit of a nuisance, but having kids is a juggle, that’s just how it is.
If you work with them, show that your baby is developing well, etc, they’ll cross you off their list and motor on. The PHN checks get less and less as they grow.
It does seem very unusual that they’d be doing all this for no reason, there’s obviously some concern somewhere, so maybe just work with them, and head to the gp tomorrow. Unless you’re away for Christmas or something, it’ll only take an hour or so.

Wildly Boaring

Your baby is 4 months old.
Had not had 3 month check.
You dont answer her calls.

Do you not think this nurse has protocols to follow here.

If she ignored them and something happened she'd be on front page of newspaper.


Suing a nurse for doing her job.....jesus wept.

Just go to the appointments and stop making some poor nurse's life difficult

Eds

If you really want to opt out you can but go ahead and do that officially rather than ignoring appointments/calls etc.

I wouldn't advise it, these services are difficult to access, you will need the phn to access any services you may need, speech therapy, physio, ot, eye tests, hearing tests and these are just the routine items that lots of babies /toddlers need.

It can be annoying and sometimes the appointments seem pointless but these professionals see thousands of babies, as a parent you have nothing or little to compare to.

fits

Engage with the services. You don’t know what the future holds and you might need them.

seamus

Medical health professionals are begging to be allowed keep an eye on your baby on a regular basis for free. Why would you not engage with it?

Nothing found, great! What if there was something to be concerned about but it was missed because you refused to go to these appointments?

What to do about the doctor's appointment on Xmas Eve? Go! Ten minutes, in and out, baby fine, happy Xmas.

Foweva Awone

PHNs are extremely over-worked and generally don't have the time or inclination to be hounding families for no reason. If I were you I'd be wanting to sit down with them ASAP for a calm discussion to find out what the concerns are and how they may be addressed.

Perhaps something has shown up in one of the baby's earlier health checks that needs to be investigated.

Perhaps it's your own health (mental or physical) that they're concerned about.

Best thing is to meet with them, be upfront and honest, and most importantly try to be receptive to their concerns. Understand that they are acting in your family's best interests.

Sarah mac

.
Thanks[/quote]
Update : my dad told me today a report was made. When I say no reason she has no health concerns for this. She was above the 97th centile Weight. For everyone assuming the worst i actually believe I am been discriminated against if they were so innocent they would not have changed health nurse and they would be able to explain why there going against protocol practice and procedure by contacting me to a harassment level. Also massive confidentially issues involving my dad. What's more A Phn does not have the right to stare in your windows. Or make the threat she did word for word. I went to all there checks all along and I got sick of been phoned 10 times a day. I am requesting my files now to see what report has been made. And also for as innocent as they all are they are freely allowing me these files and helping me to change GP. They discriminated against me completely . For the person who said about my other posts I wasn't aware a person should be Judged by there past or family. Or that parents have to be perfect. Thanks everyone ðŸ‘

houseplant

Me me me me me.... cop on and go get your baby checked. NOTHING else matters. Massive back story not being told here. Baby is the priority, not you.

Loveinapril

Sarah mac wrote: »

.

For everyone assuming the worst i actually believe I am been discriminated against

I am so confused, why do you think you are being discrimated against?
Why are you changing GP? It really isn't the role of the PHN to help you switch doctors.
Can you give a timeline of the checks you have gone to? I had two visits to my home the first week my son was born. Then i went to the doctor as scheduled for 2 and 6 week checks and to the PHN for his 3 month check. That is standard. Are you breastfeeding? Sometimes breastfed babies are slow to gain weight so this may be why they were keeping an eye on baby's weight.
What are the nurses responding when you ask why you have been referred to a bone clinic?
Was it a social worker or a PHN who arrived at your house and said they would make your life miserable?

You seem to be on the defensive, and this could be why the nurses are being persistent about your baby's wellbeing. If a medical professional was ringing me several times a day to talk about my baby's health/ development you can be sure I would be answering their calls. This in addition to other factors like age, mental health, living arrangements, relationship status or general coping skills could be why they could be more persistent. Or the fact that they have a list of patients to see and want to wrap it all up before closing for christmas. Having a newborn is stressful enough, let the nurses do their job and they will leave ypu alone once they see you are managing well and your baby is okay.

tickingclock

houseplant wrote: »

Me me me me me.... cop on and go get your baby checked. NOTHING else matters. Massive back story not being told here. Baby is the priority, not you.

Completely agree. Definitely a back story.
These services are free and to be availed of and taken adavantage of.

Wildly Boaring

You are here to vent not listen.
That's fine.

Just dont be surprised if you have more hassle or "discrimination" if you do not engage.

Bye

iamwhoiam

The PHN is there to make sure you and your baby are safe and well .Cop on and be happy that someone is looking out for you both .

shesty

Nobody is judging you by your other posts.However they provide some background as to why the health services seem to be quite insistent about getting in touch with you-it was clear from your OP that there was more to the story than met the eye.
Put simply-if you don't engage with them they will simply keep turning up.They are concerned for you and your baby.Your priority is your baby's wellbeing.They want to help you.Accept the help.

drunkmonkey

I'm judging, from what's been written above it's clear the health of the baby isn't been put first. You don't have a right to neglect your child.

I don't think there's any parent here has had any problems like this with a public health nurse. They'll all probably say the opposite, the health nurses are brilliant. We've went through 3 of them and can't praise them enough. There there for you and your baby not to attack you.

Go make an appointment and stop thinking about yourself, it's not just about you anymore.
I asssume there concerned about the child, cop on before it's taken off you, the next time they appear there could be blue lights with them and rightly so.

fits

Hi Sarah I’m sorry you feel so harangued by this. There is obviously a history there that makes you feel this way.

If you want them to get off your case the absolute best thing to do is to engage fully with them. If I were you I’d call the PHN and tell her you want to fully cooperate and your baby’s well being is priority.

By the way you baby’s centiles is not so important as them maintaining their centiles line.

aaakev

We have 3 kids and always had great experience with the phn. Our second was 5 weeks premature and spent 5 days in ICU before being let home so we had the nurse call a bit more for him which was great because they are only there to make sure everything is good.

They wouldn't have concerns without reason and im guessing you know the reason but havent said it here. Its not you against them, they are only there to help. Why do you say they are discriminating against you?

GerardKeating

Sarah mac wrote: »

She was born healthy and good weight with no problems.

Sarah mac wrote: »

. She was above the 97th centile Weight.

Slight contradiction here.

Sarah mac wrote: »

I reported this and got assigned a new PHN.

Sarah mac wrote: »

. if they were so innocent they would not have changed health nurse

Or the first nurse did not want to deal with you again.

Sarah mac wrote: »

.
i actually believe I am been discriminated against

The most common complaint with PHN's is that one cannot get to see them, you seem to have the opposite problem, Perhaps this extra attendtion is discrimination, why do you think they are doing this.

Paddy Cow

Sarah mac wrote: »

.
Thanks

Update : my dad told me today a report was made. When I say no reason she has no health concerns for this. She was above the 97th centile Weight. For everyone assuming the worst i actually believe I am been discriminated against if they were so innocent they would not have changed health nurse and they would be able to explain why there going against protocol practice and procedure by contacting me to a harassment level. Also massive confidentially issues involving my dad. What's more A Phn does not have the right to stare in your windows. Or make the threat she did word for word. I went to all there checks all along and I got sick of been phoned 10 times a day. I am requesting my files now to see what report has been made. And also for as innocent as they all are they are freely allowing me these files and helping me to change GP. They discriminated against me completely . For the person who said about my other posts I wasn't aware a person should be Judged by there past or family. Or that parents have to be perfect. Thanks everyone /QUOTE]
No you didn't. You said in your op the baby hasn't had the three month check up. You are not being discriminated against. Your two posts in this thread have been defensive and contradictory. Let the phn check the baby and they will leave you alone. If you act all shady, they're going to think there is a reason for it.

December2012

What discrimination are you alleging ?

Milly33

Sounds like maybe you need to relax a little bit OP.. I know tis a hard time but sounds like perhaps you are thinking to much of what is happening.. I know the first time we met the nurse we didnt really think that much of her and thought she was making things a little worse for us as firtst time parents. But you have to realise that they are there to help you and your baby.. Sometimes they may say go to the GP etc to get the baby checked but that is to cover all areas.. Just go with it, the most important person in all of this is your baby so if they think perhaps something might be up, they will refer you to docs etc.. In the end I thought she was the nicest nurse ever and got along really well with her

If you are weary of all just do the check ups (for sanity sake) and get them done with they only last a few months.

LirW

In fairness to their OP, there are some horrible PHN out there. When mine was born I was assigned to a health center where both resident nurses were absolutely awful and instead of offering me help they insulted me and made me cry during the appointment accusing me of starving my child. I was already in touch with the GP, she demanded to call the GP on the spot and, I kid you not, snatched my phone out of my hand to talk to the GP.
I saw the GP later that day and she was nothing but amazing reassuring me.
The reason for it all was that I was breastfeeding and my child couldn't latch on properly because she had a lip tie, which I suspected but neither the PHN nor the GP could really tell, so I went to see a specialist in the Midlands myself. I had to give up breastfeeding because child didn't put on a lot of weight but if they would have had better knowledge or gave me better support in any way, I most likely could have continued breastfeeding.

I moved area and was assigned to an amazing PHN then.

It is so important for the sake of your child to engage with them. If you're not happy with a nurse, get yourself assigned to another but do not ignore them or see them as the enemy wanting to make your life miserable. It's the easiest way of getting out of it, go to the appointments, I know they're annoying, but they save a purpose and the PHN can be a fast track if your kid needs access to any other service, like speech or psychological services.

pwurple

drunkmonkey wrote: »

I don't think there's any parent here has had any problems like this with a public health nurse. They'll all probably say the opposite, the health nurses are brilliant. We've went through 3 of them and can't praise them enough.

Emmmm. I have had problems with a PHN. She was exceptionally brisk with me and the baby, hurt the baby actually. Hurt me too when checking stitches. Was no help with breastfeeding, thought it was pointless apparently. Was all over me about the weight of the baby (25th centilefor both height and weight, normal for my GP, not for PHN)... and phoned me a lot. Once when I was 10 minutes late for an appointment , she had phoned twice in that period. I found it very intimidating.

So, yes, there are iffy PHNs out there, and from my own experience and that of friends, I think the PHNs in areas with more social housing are a bit rough around the edges. We moved since, to a more affluent area, and the PHN there was far kinder.


It sounds like the OP is not Irish, is not used to the system, and possibly has an aggressive phn on top of it. 10 calls a day is far too much.


I am not sure my advice would differ from anyone else though OP. Best way to get them off your back is to engage. Show up to the appointments and answer the calls,

Big Bag of Chips

On what grounds do you feel you are being discriminated? Your baby being on the 97th percentile is not a good thing. It means your baby is heavier than 97% of babies of the same age. That's not good. Either end of the percentiles and the baby, and more specifically parents, need to be monitored. They need to see is your baby naturally heavy, or are you over feeding. I know a baby whose weight was on the 4th percentile, which means the baby was smaller and lighter than 96% of babies of the same age. The baby was weighed weekly, and had a health visitor come up the house every day to monitor the mam feeding the baby and to give her some help and guidance. The mam needed extra supports. They had weekly weight checks, bi weekly GP visits sand monthly appointments with a paediatrician.

Health care professionals have enough of a work load without going looking for people 'for no reason'. I suggest you stop trying to find fault and blame people and actually find out what it is they want to check, and why.

A baby on the 97th percentile for weight needs to be monitored more than an average baby.