Technically the truth.

Avatar MIA

Bam Bam Mickey wrote: »

If you copulate into a bowl, you can have a low calorific breakfast.
Fact.*

* Bowl may not be required.

antodeco

There's an Irish person who has consumed more mayonnaise than any other Irish person and they don't even know it.

YFlyer

Avatar MIA wrote: »

Going to visit a doctor could get you killed.

You will eventually die after visiting a doctor.

Ken.

Over any extended timeline every doctor has a 100% fail rate.

Charles Babbage

judeboy101 wrote: »

Everyone born in northern Ireland is technically a British citizen whose birth is registered by the NHS, regardless of what subsequent nationality they claim.

<pedant>not quite true, only people born to people entitled to reside in Northern Ireland </pedant>

Charles Babbage

If you proceed in a straight line any direction from where you are, you'll end up back there.

Ficheall

Charles Babbage wrote: »

If you proceed in a straight line any direction from where you are, you'll end up back there.

Go up.

kneemos

The funniest thing will kill you.

bb1234567

Everyday somebody in the world unknowingly does the biggest poo anybody in the world has done on that day

Jim 77

Technically, we're all dying.

I know, a depressing thought for New Year's Day.

Elemonator

If you put rice in boiling water, it will cook.

saintsaltynuts

If all The Chinese held hands around the world..Half the little fcuker's would drown.

gozunda

If you die- you're probably technically dead ...

lazeedaisy

100% of people who exercise regularly will die

Ken.

Oxygen is poisonous. It just takes a really long time to do you in if their is no outside influences.

tayto lover

quickbeam wrote: »

You can survive on just fresh air for the rest of your life.

Lack of breath is the cause of all deaths.

Thephantomsmask

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those that understand binary and those that don't.

Avatar MIA

Ficheall wrote: »

Go up.

Or any direction.

Avatar MIA

I once held a world record. I didn't hold it long to be fair. Guinness are reluctant to recognise it, but they wouldn't refute it either. I was once the youngest person in the world.

Accepting autograph requests. I'll sign any €50 note for you. I won't give it back mind.

paleoperson

You have a terminal condition. In the best case scenario you will face progressive debilitating deterioration, likely loss of mobility, loss of memory and eventual death.

milltown

The average person has fewer than two legs.

Charles Babbage

The average person has just under one breast and one testicle.

The high horse brigade

To get the average amount of offspring in a litter of any animal count the number of nipples on the female of the species and divide by 2

Jim 77

A child has more bones than a grown-up's got.

paleoperson

Magnus Carlsen has never won a chess game where the opponent started with the moves: 1. e4 e5 2. Ke2

Jim 77

Thephantomsmask wrote: »

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those that understand binary and those that don't.

1010 outta 1010 for that!

Avatar MIA

Jim 77 wrote: »

A child has more bones than a grown-up's got.

Sounds catchy.

Capt'n Midnight

Thephantomsmask wrote: »

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those that understand binary and those that don't.

And those who know the Russians used ternary computers.

Capt'n Midnight

Today was by far the hottest day of the year so far.

VW 1

Incest is a game for all the family.

Gonad

If Charles is the father , and Philip is the uncle

Philips uncle John is Charles fathers brother

Avatar MIA

No one in the history of the universe has previously written the following combination of letters/numbers in the following order...

Frdsdmkijh5yfffdrAgathachristywritesdumplingsgggfftrboards.ierockers>mods5rdddd

its_steve116

Officially Alaskans and Hawaiians are Americans but they're technically not because those two states are not joined to the other 48.

Father Hernandez

At some point in your childhood, you and your friends went outside to play together for the last time and nobody knew it

sk8erboii

its_steve116 wrote: »

Officially Alaskans and Hawaiians are Americans but they're technically not because those two states are not joined to the other 48.

That makes no sense. Alaska is in the american continent.

Avatar MIA

Avatar MIA wrote: »

No one in the history of the universe has previously written the following combination of letters/numbers in the following order...

Frdsdmkijh5yfffdrAgathachristywritesdumplingsgggfftrboards.ierockers>mods5rdddd

You made me hungry.

sparrowcar

Ireland's most northerly point is in the south.

igCorcaigh

If you keep travelling North, you'll eventually go South – If you keep travelling East, you'll never go West.

Omackeral

The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.

Omackeral

Father Hernandez wrote: »

At some point in your childhood, you and your friends went outside to play together for the last time and nobody knew it

At some point your parents picked you up in their arms and put you back down and never did it again

KERSPLAT!

Omackeral wrote: »

At some point your parents picked you up in their arms and put you back down and never did it again

Aw, that really made me think

tedpan

Cotton ear buds are not for inserting into ears.

Steve F

Omackeral wrote: »

At some point your parents picked you up in their arms and put you back down and never did it again

Ah Jaysus...that's just about finished me off

Avatar MIA

tedpan wrote: »

Cotton ear buds are not for inserting into ears.

That's what your elbow's for :pac:

moonage

sparrowcar wrote: »

Ireland's most northerly point is in the south.

No, Donegal is in the north.

Avatar MIA

The mention of Northern Ireland can derail even the most innocuous of threads.

antodeco

On average, more people have consumed more poo and skin particles in their life than eaten lobster.

Equally, more people have consumed poo and skin particles than have accessed the internet

Ken.

Avatar MIA wrote: »

The mention of Northern Ireland can derail even the most innocuous of threads.

McGodwins law.

Kolido

derfderf wrote: »

If you removed all the veins in your body, and lay them out end to end, you'd die.

Technically not true.

YFlyer

antodeco wrote: »

There's an Irish person who has consumed more mayonnaise than any other Irish person and they don't even know it.

Not a 100% certainty.