I'm worried about getting pregnant

LegacyUser

As the title suggests I am worried about getting pregnant.

I got married last year and my husband is mad to start a family, I have always wanted one too but the actual thought of being pregnant and giving birth is terrifying!

Everyone seems to be full of horror stories about being pregnant/ giving birth. And if it's a bunch of parents together their story always has to be the worst so the stories just get scarier and scarier. Is it really that bad?

Also this will sound awful is it hard to give up drinking? I have about 4 drinks most evenings. I'm not trying to open a discussion on if a drink or two while pregnant is ok, the amount I drink wouldn't be healthy and I would most certainly be giving up!

kylith

Labour is called labour for a reason; it ain’t easy, but there are drugs to help. Not all pregnancies are awful; I sailed through mine. The drinking might be your stumbling block. Try going without for a week, and get your husband to do it too, after all, he should support you.

You won’t miss it after a couple of weeks. And the pay off is totally worth it.

Now, whether or not you want[\i] to have children is the issue. You won’t be happy to do anything if you’re pressured into it

greenbicycle

Yeah labour and birth isn't easy but you have to think that it is for a finite amount of time,there is an end to it and it is very fast I'm the grand scheme of things. Pregnancy is different for all,as is labour but I think that for the most part it's fine. Also you have to remember that you will only ever hear or read the horror stories or the things that were unpleasant and the totally overshadow the good happy stories.

I think you will see a different side to needing drink when you are pregnant. But if you feel dependent on And need four drinks (rather than just want them) that is s different story altogether. You will have suss that one out

Huntline

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fits

I had a tough pregnancy but I still enjoyed it and miss it. It’s amazing to me. I can’t speak to labour as I had a late scheduled csection for my twins. But that was fine too. It’s not easy at all but it’s an amazing time. And no two stories are the same so try to filter out all the horror stories. I would recommend doing the grntlebirth course.

listermint

4 drinks every evening... This will cause you no end of health problems forget the pregnancy terrors have a look at your consumption it's not good at all.

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mirrorwall14

I had pretty rough pregnancies on both and a pretty terrifying labour on my first (not my second). However that I went on and chose to have the second is indicator enough that pregnancy is doable and the outcome is pretty darn awesome. It actually took 10 horrific cycles trying to conceive so I was definitely committed to getting my second. My now three month old is smiling properly and attempting to laugh. It’s the cutest thing ever and in spite of the sleep deprivation it’s awesome!

I’d have to agree though, four drinks every night of the week? That’s an awful lot

afkasurfjunkie

mirrorwall14 wrote: »

I had pretty rough pregnancies on both and a pretty terrifying labour on my first (not my second). However that I went on and chose to have the second is indicator enough that pregnancy is doable and the outcome is pretty darn awesome. It actually took 10 horrific cycles trying to conceive so I was definitely committed to getting my second. My now three month old is smiling properly and attempting to laugh. It’s the cutest thing ever and in spite of the sleep deprivation it’s awesome!

I’d have to agree though, four drinks every night of the week? That’s an awful lot

Not drinking during pregnancy is one thing but realistically drinking after pregnancy is difficult too. Have a 12 week old here and was looking foward to a drink or two over Christmas and all I managed was a glass of proscecco with the Christmas dinner. Mostly because I’m breastfeeding but also it’s not worth a sore head in the morning and the thought if anything happened during the night I mightn’t wake up as easily. I could probably class myself as a non drinker since I had kids.
Also, don’t listen to horror stories about birth. Everyone’s story is different and most of my friends had grand pregnancies. I sailed through mine. Ha, I nearly considered being a surrogate for a while there because I quite like being pregnant. key is being as healthy as you can be. Cut down on alcohol for sure. Get regular exercise.

weetiepie

How to be pregnant wrote: »

As the title suggests I am worried about getting pregnant.

I got married last year and my husband is mad to start a family, I have always wanted one too but the actual thought of being pregnant and giving birth is terrifying!

Everyone seems to be full of horror stories about being pregnant/ giving birth. And if it's a bunch of parents together their story always has to be the worst so the stories just get scarier and scarier. Is it really that bad?

Also this will sound awful is it hard to give up drinking? I have about 4 drinks most evenings. I'm not trying to open a discussion on if a drink or two while pregnant is ok, the amount I drink wouldn't be healthy and I would most certainly be giving up!

I can never understand why women do this..I mean telling horrific stories of their pregnancies and Labour, especially to someone who has never been through it. What is there to gain by telling people these stories? Not everyone has horrific time of it.
In future I would advise you to stop people from telling you their birth stories unless they are positive. Being in a positive frame of mind will help you enormously throughout.

As for drinking, you have already stated you would be giving it up once pregnant, you know yourself it's not healthy for baby or you.

shesty

Everyone loves telling their labour stories.I had three relatively easy pregnancies.I was terrified of childbirth but by the time you go through nine months of pregnancy you have a chance to process it a bit and prepare .Plus you just reach a point where you want the baby out, by any means!!!Three good labour experiences here for me too.

I would be far more concerned about the drinks.Four drinks every evening is a lot, pregnant or not.You probably should look at that habit just for your health right now.

Milly33

You will be amazed at yourself and yerselsf!! I would have kinda have been like you quite enjoyed my tipple.. Love kids but the thought of being pregnant, and giving birth doing that willingly to myself (down there) as if we dont go through enough already. But it is just magical so it is. You will always hear more horror stories than good ones, haha most of the good stories get hushed by the other mums cus they dont want to hear about it...

It is amazing what your body can do, and labour while bad enough is just something your body has to go through. When you think that you have to go through a few hours of pain to welcome your baby to the world, it isnt that bad.. I remember saying nope nope this is it, one only and after giving birth it was like ok then fine one more... Being pregnant also again some people have bad times, others dont. I had a blissfull pregnancy nothing bad except for not sleeping on my belly and a new hightened sense of smell. I smoked and drank before hand and the min we found out they were both gone, i didnt even crave them. I think i had a small mulled wine at christmas time that was it...

catrionanic

It all is so very subjective and personal. Some women have easy pregnancies and love it. Some hate it. Labour is always hard, but it's always so very worth it. If it wasn't, we would all only have the one child!

I struggle with pregnancy, to be honest. Not an enjoyable 9 months for me. But it does have its positive moments and the reward you get at the end of it makes you go again.

My labours were pretty good. My first was tough because I just wasn't prepared for the intensity of the pain and I panicked. My second was amazing though. I actually quite enjoyed it. Midwife taught me great breathing techniques and I felt super empowered and proud of myself. Would do it again in a heartbeat.

For me, I would rather go through labour once every two weeks than go through another 9 months of pregnancy. But I am in the minority in that!

threescompany

My friend just has a baby & was annoyed none of us had told her the horror stories, you can’t win! My pregnancies were hard, c- sections had complications but everything was manageable. Despite the awful sickness, you get through it & it’s worth it. As for the drink, you honestly don’t miss it. I thought I’d miss it but I didn’t at all, it’s like your body doesn’t want it when it’s pregnant .

pwurple

Some people have a hard time of it. I didn’t enjoy being pregnant but labour was great! Epidural, nap, push and a lovely baby! That bit I would do no problem.

I didn’t miss booze, even the thought of it made me queasy when pregnant. but I didn’t drink as much as you though... you might have a dependence there.

4 drinks a night. is that 4 units or 4 glasses of wine (8 units)? Either way, you know yourself, recommended weekly max is 14 units, = one drink a day.

witchgirl26

OP I was a bit terrified about the whole thing to be honest but now at 21 weeks pregnant, I have to say that the fear is easing a lot. Yes I'm still afraid of giving birth (I honestly think anyone who says they weren't nervous the first time is lying to themselves!) but so far my body has figured out what it's meant to be doing with me helping along with eating right etc and there's doctors and midwives who know what they're doing so I'm just going with it. As for the horror stories - I'd take some with a pinch of salt. I know my sister had a difficult birth with her first but on the other hand her second was a breeze! It just depends and you can't predict which way it will go.

As for the alcohol - as someone who didn't drink a huge amount at all, I thought that would be the easiest but oddly I've never wanted a drink more lol. I think it's because I can't have it more than anything. It's mad though. I had 2 glasses of prosecco (mixed with a large amount of orange juice) over Christmas/New Year and didn't want anymore after I had them.

If you are thinking of getting pregnant, cutting down on the drinking now will have both health benefits but also get you ready rather than dropping from 4 glasses to nothing in a couple of days.

Babooshka

How to be pregnant wrote: »

As the title suggests I am worried about getting pregnant.

I got married last year and my husband is mad to start a family, I have always wanted one too but the actual thought of being pregnant and giving birth is terrifying!

Everyone seems to be full of horror stories about being pregnant/ giving birth. And if it's a bunch of parents together their story always has to be the worst so the stories just get scarier and scarier. Is it really that bad?

Also this will sound awful is it hard to give up drinking? I have about 4 drinks most evenings. I'm not trying to open a discussion on if a drink or two while pregnant is ok, the amount I drink wouldn't be healthy and I would most certainly be giving up!

It's not hard to give up drinking at all. I am fond of a vino or 9 of an evening and I didn't touch it at all while pregnant. It's not hard as you get a kick out of growing another person inside of you and you lose interest pretty quickly, especially if Mother nature helps you along with nausea and vomiting as it was wont to do with me!!!

And also like all babies all pregnancies are different. Mine was horrific at the beginning as I had hyperemesis and ended up in hospital. I went from that to a happy bump by 16 weeks, i was one of the lucky ones, and I absolutely loved the feeling of being pregnant once all of that yukiness subsided. I miss my bump still. The labour...everyone will have a horror story, you just smile politely and move on. Lots of people I knew told me that they had written birth plans and were really into preparing for it mentally, which is great. I didn't feel that way and I didn't want to know about my labour until I was in labour, at that moment (which was probably my way of being terrified really!). I am glad I did it that way, but, my point is, everyone is different. If you're too scared to do it yet maybe there's other reasons. But we can all do it... and you can too, so good luck on your journey anyway, is what I'm saying.