Precious parents and their new born kids

AtomicHorror

Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: »

I'm just an organised parent that has my s**t together. Not like the insufferable thirty-something parents we have nowadays with their houses untidy and in bits and fawning over the child as if it were some deity.

So you're a 40+ or 50+ parent. Father or mother?

v638sg7k1a92bx

greenspurs wrote: »

Op - Not a parent ?


If you were you'd understand ......

I probably have more parenting experience than most of the millenials on here put together who should really be organising their house right now bu instead are posting on the internet and then go around telling people how busy it is to have children and how they can never get anything done.

meeeeh

Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: »

I probably have more parenting experience than most of the millenials on here put together who should really be organising their house right now bu instead are posting on the internet and then go around telling people how busy it is to have children and how they can never get anything done.

And you are here because you have nothing to do? Are there many people avoiding you using their kids as an excuse?

valoren

AtomicHorror wrote: »

Human newborns wake every few hours for a feed, day or night. If they wake themselves, they will cry a lot. The sound is distressing to humans, even more so to the parent humans who have formed what is called "emotional attachment" to the human neworn. I'm explaining this to you in terms a robot might understand. I hope that's helpful.

So anyway, you can wake em yourself or not, but either way you're getting up.

Again, this indicates you lack even the most basic knowledge of child-rearing.

I've been around babies crying and yes it is designed to attract attention. Funny thing is that when our daughter was born when she did cry it not only attracted attention but there was always a sort of what I can only describe as a 'flaring, tinnitus like' sensation in my ear. It was as if my ear was sensitively tuned to her frequency. Never had that with other crying babies.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Based on the original post and your responses in this thread, you’re coming across kinda high maintenance, OP. Friends like that are a pain in the arse.

Rootsblower

Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: »

I'm just an organised parent that has my s**t together. Not like the insufferable thirty-something parents we have nowadays with their houses untidy and in bits and fawning over the child as if it were some deity.

I know how you feel OP just cos people have a newborn doesn’t give them the right to forget basic manners. 90 minutes you waited I’d have given em 10 and I’d have been outta there.

As for the My Little Johnny/Mary can do no wrong crowd, don’t get me started on them, little Johnny/Mary is the anti-christ but you can’t/won’t see it.

pwurple

AtomicHorror wrote: »

So you're a 40+ or 50+ parent. Father or mother?

I'd put solid money on Male, hands-off parent. a couple of kids, barely saw them as newborns. No paternity leave, wifey did it all out of sight.

circadian

Jesus OP you need to wind your neck in a bit.

AtomicHorror

Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: »

I probably have more parenting experience than most of the millenials on here put together who should really be organising their house right now bu instead are posting on the internet and then go around telling people how busy it is to have children and how they can never get anything done.

"Millennial" is marketing buzzword BS. There are certain realities of modern life though that might make your experience very different from those of more recent parents.

Messy houses, sure, because typically both parents work full time. This itself being a consequence of rent/mortgage costs being a larger fraction of the household income than in previous generations. This then gets compounded by childcare costs which also tend to increase faster than salaries, meaning they seem reasonable and manageable in the first year and quickly become a massive burden. The complaint of not having time stems from working parenthood too. The social media usage, well, you're here too so that's not unique to the younger generation.

It's pretty clear that your disdain for younger people underlies a lot of this. You've bought the generational cohort narrative, I guess. Most do, though it takes a certain kind of mindset to turn that into an excuse to look down on people.

McCrack

Leaving aside the OP's issue I can say what irritates me is when I am in company with a parent and young child having a conversation etc and the kid pipes up and the adult cuts the conversation and completely focuses on the kid to placate them

Or another I have seen is the parent literally hovering obsessively over their kid as they play/move around

Rootsblower

pwurple wrote: »

I'd put solid money on Male, hands-off parent. a couple of kids, barely saw them as newborns. No paternity leave, wifey did it all out of sight.

Incredibly sexist remark

Gazzmonkey

Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: »

Is this a recent phenomenon or has it always been the case? I'm beyond this phase in my life but I have friends/colleagues/acquaintances who seem to think that the world revolves around their kids nap or feeding times.

I was invited to a christening and at 11.30am, the mother a child left the christening to bring the baby home because nap time was between 12 and 2pm. So what was the point in having a Christening if you're just going to go home!

A friend invited themselves over to the house to introduce their new baby, she turns up 90 minutes late with the explanation that the child was asleep and couldn't be woke!!! So I have to organise my life around when your 6 month old child decides to wake up???

A new colleague has joined after moving back to Ireland from Australia where the baby was born. She's married with one child and is living in her parents while the house they bought is being renovated for the past year. Anyway, I can hear her chewing the balls off her father and snarking down the phone at the mother if the child isn't asleep at nap time or had it's arse wiped a certain way!

Another one was when we were INVITED over to a friends house, everybody had to whisper because the baby was having their nap and couldn't be woke. Do they not realise that it's a self fulfilling prophecy, if you tip toe around the house then you are creating an environment where the child will wake up whereas if you proceed as normal the kid will adapt to the noise?

What is the matter with these people that their kids are so precious where everyone has to tip toe around their timetable and sleeping habits or God forbid that a child might hear a loud voice!?!

You have so not a clue what your talking about. The world doesn't revolve around you. Also your opinion is irrelevant if you don't have kids.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Gazzmonkey wrote: »

Also your opinion is irrelevant if you don't have kids.

No it isn’t actually.

Muckka

Op aren't you glad you're not in their shoes.

Parenting isn't for everyone, my lads nearly 18 now.
Im over a lot of hurdles.


It's probably frustrating to you as you're probably free to do as you please.

I guarantee it, I know parents my age 43 who are only starting now, and they're off their head's from lack of sleep, worry and trying to work out logistics....
Then getting feeds ready, everything has to be planned accordingly.

Some people say to me Muckka you're damn lucky your boy's nearly 18.
Not as much fishing, golf, hunting and night's out anymore....
I grin away smugly to myself, not forgetting I was there too.

I don't regret it.
But you can be dam sure I'm glad it's all behind me.
I love being a father.
Once is enough.

Just be glad you have your freedom.
There's nothing wrong with the way you feel, you'll find other friends to hang out with etc

I admire your honesty

AtomicHorror

McCrack wrote: »

Or another I have seen is the parent literally hovering obsessively over their kid as they play/move around

Dear Jesus that sounds amazing.

Rootsblower

McCrack wrote: »

Leaving aside the OP's issue I can say what irritates me is when I am in company with a parent and young child having a conversation etc and the kid pipes up and the adult cuts the conversation and completely focuses on the kid to placate them

Or another I have seen is the parent literally hovering obsessively over their kid as they play/move around

Most annoying thing I see I a general lack of discipline on kids these days.
Friends young fella 5 years old punched me in the arm one day cos I wasn’t paying attention to him. Daddy didn’t bat an eyelid. My lad does this, god help him.

Lefty Bicek

Gazzmonkey wrote: »

You have so not a clue what your talking about. The world doesn't revolve around you. Also your opinion is irrelevant if you don't have kids.

Irrelevant only because, ridiculously, the world now revolves around kids.

People need to realise that by and large, your children are really unexceptional.

And taking a global view, unnecessary.

rgmmg

Lefty Bicek wrote: »

Irrelevant only because, ridiculously, the world now revolves around kids.

People need to realise that by and large, your children are really unexceptional.

And taking a global view, unnecessary.

Irrespective, the parent is responsible for the kid. I don't think neglect would stand up in court if a parent cited the reason being the kid was unexceptional. No exceptions

garv123

When I was in school, a decade ago, we were terrified that we'd get a letter home to our parents if we got in trouble, and we'd get in trouble for it at home...

These days Children go home and tell their parents that the teacher gave out to them, and an awful lot of parents give out to the teacher for picking on their little johnny.. Snowflakes!!!

Don't even start on that educate together sh!te!!

Blakely Quaint Sand

Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: »

So what you've attempted to say is that babies fall asleep and when they wake up they cry for food and therefore the world must come to a standstill. Thank you for haring the most basic knowledge of child rearing.

Of course the world comes to a standstill, they can't look after themselves. That's where the parenting comes in, not putting the feelings of an adult over the survival of a child. They get hungry, they dehydrate, they need someone to take care of these things, not let them suffer so you're not even mildly inconvenienced.

Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: »

You just highlighted the problem. The "routine of a new born". They don't have routines.

Yeah they do, they need lots of sleep and regular food and sometimes that's on a schedule and sometimes it's on their on schedule. Either way, you're not the important factor in their routine, and most adults can be reasonably expected to have some understanding of how difficult timing things is for new parents.

It's not always about you.

Lefty Bicek

rgmmg wrote: »

Irrespective, the parent is responsible for the kid. I don't think neglect would stand up in court if a parent cited the reason being the kid was unexceptional. No exceptions

I understand all that.

'Responsible for the kid' means responsible for preparing them for life, though. No ?

You won't get a medal for coming last, the score does matter, you are not the centre of the universe... etc

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

garv123 wrote: »

When I was in school, a decade ago, we were terrified that we'd get a letter home to our parents if we got in trouble, and we'd get in trouble for it at home...

These days Children go home and tell their parents that the teacher gave out to them, and an awful lot of parents give out to the teacher for picking on their little johnny.. Snowflakes!!!

Don't even start on that educate together sh!te!!

Those parents always existed.

garv123

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Those parents always existed.

An awful lot more of them nowadays.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

garv123 wrote: »

An awful lot more of them nowadays.

Are you a long-term teacher? Because that’s the only way you’d know that.

topper75

These types are all about projects. They become central and they bore others with them.

If it wasn't the kid project, it would be the new business project, the new car project, the get fit project, or the go back to educ project.

Lose them. There are almost 8 billion around and rising. Just get new friends, perhaps a 'new friend project' could be front and centre for you!

But I don't want to hear about it necessarily.

v638sg7k1a92bx

Candie wrote: »

Of course the world comes to a standstill, they can't look after themselves. That's where the parenting comes in, not putting the feelings of an adult over the survival of a child. They get hungry, they dehydrate, they need someone to take care of these things, not let them suffer so you're not even mildly inconvenienced.

Yeah they do, they need lots of sleep and regular food and sometimes that's on a schedule and sometimes it's on their on schedule. Either way, you're not the important factor in their routine, and most adults can be reasonably expected to have some understanding of how difficult timing things is for new parents.

It's not always about you.

That's where you're wrong. Your world might come to a standstill but mine doesn't.

Muckka

garv123 wrote: »

When I was in school, a decade ago, we were terrified that we'd get a letter home to our parents if we got in trouble, and we'd get in trouble for it at home...

These days Children go home and tell their parents that the teacher gave out to them, and an awful lot of parents give out to the teacher for picking on their little johnny.. Snowflakes!!!

Don't even start on that educate together sh!te!!

It's just another brick in the wall.
My Jason wouldn't kick anyone.

Jason is now doing a long stretch at her majesty's pleasure over in England...

My Caroline isn't a brat.

Caroline is now a drug addict alcoholic and has a lot of convictions.

My Barry shouldn't be expelled.

No Barry's spending all his time between the pub and the bookies.

My Fiona isn't a brat.
Fiona now runs a successful business in Dublin, raising a good family and still married to Richard

Muckka is a bit of a clown and think's everything is funny always interupting the class sniggering and laughing, he doesn't take school seriously....

Muckka is.....

uch

Muckka wrote: »

It's just another brick in the wall.
My Jason wouldn't kick anyone.

Jason is now doing a long stretch at her majesty's pleasure over in England...

My Caroline isn't a brat.

Caroline is now a drug addict alcoholic and has a lot of convictions.

My Barry shouldn't be expelled.

No Barry's spending all his time between the pub and the bookies.

My Fiona isn't a brat.
Fiona now runs a successful business in Dublin, raising a good family and still married to Richard

Muckka is a bit of a clown and think's everything is funny always interupting the class sniggering and laughing, he doesn't take school seriously....

Muckka is.....

Getting the back of the hand from Teacher

BeerFarts

topper75

garv123 wrote: »

When I was in school, a decade ago, we were terrified that we'd get a letter home to our parents if we got in trouble, and we'd get in trouble for it at home...

These days Children go home and tell their parents that the teacher gave out to them, and an awful lot of parents give out to the teacher for picking on their little johnny.. Snowflakes!!!

Don't even start on that educate together sh!te!!

I've said it before and I'll say it now again: Generation snowflake is not a young people problem. It is a problem created by dickheads of my own age - late 30s up to mid-50s. They made all these problems with their parenting style.

AtomicHorror

garv123 wrote: »

An awful lot more of them nowadays.

And we had respect for our elders and and the summers were sunnier too.

So much generalization about the millennials and modern parenting. It's all woolly, feel-superior spoof as far as I can see.

Muckka

uch wrote: »

Getting the back of the hand from Teacher

It was the chalk duster, or 100 lion's

morritty

OP, a bit of advise for you.

Stock up on condoms please.

Blakely Quaint Sand

Blakely Quaint Sand wrote: »

That's where you're wrong. Your world might come to a standstill but mine doesn't.

I don't have kids.

I can make allowances for people who do though, it's unpredictable and difficult and a huge responsibility and it's not hard to just cut people some slack when they're going through a life changing transition in early parenthood.

Be a friend to your friends, try to understand their lives have changed and their priorities are keeping the kid alive and keeping themselves sane first and foremost.

rgmmg

Lefty Bicek wrote: »

I understand all that.

'Responsible for the kid' means responsible for preparing them for life, though. No ?

You won't get a medal for coming last, the score does matter, you are not the centre of the universe... etc

You didn't say that, I did. Responsibility applies whether they are exceptional or not . I think you were trying to paraphrase a Bill Hick's sketch.

Muckka

Candie wrote: »

I don't have kids.

I can make allowances for people who do though, it's unpredictable and difficult and a huge responsibility and it's not hard to just cut people some slack when they're going through a life changing transition in early parenthood.

Be a friend to your friends, try to understand their lives have changed and their priorities are keeping the kid alive and keeping themselves sane first and foremost.

They should be sane if they're bringing up kid's.

Rootsblower

It’s also not hard to pick up the phone to the OP and say your gonna be late. If you can’t act with a few manners how the f*** are you gonna teach them to your kids.

retro:electro

My sister calls it the nap trap. It’s grand when they’re new born and will sleep anywhere and you’re free as a bird, but from a few months on what’s the matter with having their naps and comfort as a priority? You’re only making a rod for your own back down the line if you don’t have them in a stable routine.

Muckka

Muckka wrote: »

They should be sane if they're bringing up kid's.

I think lack of sleep makes it tough to stay sane at times when people have new babies. I'd cut people a lot of slack if they're late or have to change plans when they have new babies. It's more important that they're okay, get some sleep, the baby is doing well etc.

Muckka

Candie wrote: »

I think lack of sleep makes it tough to stay sane at times when people have new babies. I'd cut people a lot of slack if they're late or have to change plans when they have new babies. It's more important that they're okay, get some sleep, the baby is doing well etc.

I hear you, I was only having a bit of banter.
Wasn't undermining your post.

I know alll about it
Just glad it's over

Lefty Bicek

Candie wrote: »

I think lack of sleep makes it tough to stay sane at times when people have new babies.

Self-inflicted.

Lefty Bicek

Lefty Bicek wrote: »

Self-inflicted.

So what? It doesn't make it less real. Is it really that hard to cut people a bit of slack and just show some common kindness?

You might never plan on being a parent but we were definitely all babies once and hopefully people were kind and understanding to our parents when they were tired and overwhelmed.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

Candie wrote: »

I don't have kids.

I can make allowances for people who do though, it's unpredictable and difficult and a huge responsibility and it's not hard to just cut people some slack when they're going through a life changing transition in early parenthood.

Be a friend to your friends, try to understand their lives have changed and their priorities are keeping the kid alive and keeping themselves sane first and foremost.

I see where you’re coming from but also where the OP is coming from. Within reason, I wouldn’t be annoyed if I was inconvenienced, look it happens. But in work for example, I once had a lady almost an hour late for an appointment because her child was asleep (leaving aside where I work is supposed to be child free) and then showed up thinking that I’d still be able to take the appointment. She wasted my time and time is money. Don’t make appointments around your kids nap times. If a friend asked me to go somewhere with her and her kid and then left me waiting two hours I’d be pretty pi55ed off. I wouldn’t run my schedule around someone else’s child.
Friends cancelling things last minute or cancelling lunch asking me over to her house instead because the kid is sick/no babysitter then that’s no big deal.

Sorry about that

Op asks, "what's the matter with these people?". Well op, the truth is, nothing at all, unless you consider a state of overwhelming love and protectiveness, mixed with the terror that you're doing it all wrong, to be a bad thing.
Cut them a bit of slack op, it's usually a first child thing, be grand in a year or so.

Muckka

Rootsblower wrote: »

It’s also not hard to pick up the phone to the OP and say your gonna be late. If you can’t act with a few manners how the f*** are you gonna teach them to your kids.

My kids my kids my kid's

Sometimes the kid's control the parents rather than the parents controling the kid's.

It's been going on for year's.
A lot of kid's these days are told they're all winner's, and parents will not entertain any one saying anything about their kid's.

My mum knew I was a messer, so did dad.
But they made sure I had manners and social intelligence.

They never minded neighbors telling them Muckka is a bit ferral and wild.
Mum's always said she'd prefer to see kid's happy out covered in mud or have a few bruises.
I'd say my legs had more bruises than an apple that fell down the stairs.

My runner's didn't last long, as for dry feet
Forget it

Muckka

Jack Gorgeous Fishhook wrote: »

I see where you’re coming from but also where the OP is coming from. Within reason, I wouldn’t be annoyed if I was inconvenienced, look it happens. But in work for example, I once had a lady almost an hour late for an appointment because her child was asleep (leaving aside where I work is supposed to be child free) and then showed up thinking that I’d still be able to take the appointment. She wasted my time and time is money. Don’t make appointments around your kids nap times. If a friend asked me to go somewhere with her and her kid and then left me waiting two hours I’d be pretty pi55ed off. I wouldn’t run my schedule around someone else’s child.
Friends cancelling things last minute or cancelling lunch asking me over to her house instead because the kid is sick/no babysitter then that’s no big deal.

But it was her little Jack

Jack Gorgeous Fishhook

Jack Gorgeous Fishhook wrote: »

I see where you’re coming from but also where the OP is coming from. Within reason, I wouldn’t be annoyed if I was inconvenienced, look it happens. But in work for example, I once had a lady almost an hour late for an appointment because her child was asleep (leaving aside where I work is supposed to be child free) and then showed up thinking that I’d still be able to take the appointment. She wasted my time and time is money. Don’t make appointments around your kids nap times. If a friend asked me to go somewhere with her and her kid and then left me waiting two hours I’d be pretty pi55ed off. I wouldn’t run my schedule around someone else’s child.
Friends cancelling things last minute or cancelling lunch asking me over to her house instead because the kid is sick/no babysitter then that’s no big deal.

That's all reasonable. I'm just making the point that when you're dealing with newborns, there may not be an established nap time, and some kids take a long while to settle into a routine so it might not the just the parents being inconsiderate.

I've twin nephews, they were toddlers and were still unpredictable with sleeping times during the day. And during the night a lot of the time too. My brother and sister in law were like zombies from lack of sleep, and they had live-in help.

Rootsblower

Candie wrote: »

That's all reasonable. I'm just making the point that when you're dealing with newborns, there may not be an established nap time, and some kids take a long while to settle into a routine so it might not the just the parents being inconsiderate.

I've twin nephews, they were toddlers and were still unpredictable with sleeping times during the day. And during the night a lot of the time too. My brother and sister in law were like zombies from lack of sleep, and they had live-in help.

You dip the wick you gotta pay for the oil!!!!

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Jack Gorgeous Fishhook wrote: »

I see where you’re coming from but also where the OP is coming from. Within reason, I wouldn’t be annoyed if I was inconvenienced, look it happens. But in work for example, I once had a lady almost an hour late for an appointment because her child was asleep (leaving aside where I work is supposed to be child free) and then showed up thinking that I’d still be able to take the appointment. She wasted my time and time is money. Don’t make appointments around your kids nap times. If a friend asked me to go somewhere with her and her kid and then left me waiting two hours I’d be pretty pi55ed off. I wouldn’t run my schedule around someone else’s child.
Friends cancelling things last minute or cancelling lunch asking me over to her house instead because the kid is sick/no babysitter then that’s no big deal.

This is sensible.

The friend who left the OP hanging for 90 minutes was in the wrong. She should have called to fill her in or cancel.

And appointments should cancelled if the person can’t make it.

But the OP is also ranting about stuff that isn’t that unreasonable. I’ve been asked to keep my voice low in other people’s houses for various reasons. It’s not that big a deal.

And the mention of her supposedly demanding co-worker. Well, who knows what’s going on there?

Lefty Bicek

Candie wrote: »

So what? It doesn't make it less real. Is it really that hard to cut people a bit of slack and just show some common kindness?

You might never plan on being a parent but we were definitely all babies once and hopefully people were kind and understanding to our parents when they were tired and overwhelmed.

Our parents - mothers, generally - had a fairly close support group around them. And - generally - mothers stayed at home.

If that kind of support is not important, fine. If it is important, then perhaps time to review economics, demographics, and gender roles ? No stomach for that, though.

One way or another, a lot of parents today are as wearing as their children.