Quit job, boss is now being horrible

OldMrBrennan83

noclue12 wrote: »

Thanks everyone for the great advice and not so great(the boss is HR)

Think I’ll see how next week goes, if it’s still stressing me out I’ll have to do something. But if he’s calmed down abit I’ll stay. He doesn’t want me to finish up early.

Regarding breach of contract I’ve no personal assets but the company would loose money if I left early and they didn’t have a replacement yet, so that’s a bit of a issue I suppose.

He’s definitely taking it personally and I suppose is annoyed as I increased the income of the business, and he’ll be loosing that.

Will have to wait and see how it goes Monday. I’m not actually at a desk so it would be really weird if I was sitting taking notes, not part of the job description.

If you document all this and are out in stress then they won't be able to go after you for a single thing.

You sound like you're all set to just take it though so if you're not prepared to fight them on it at all then you'll just have to get on with things.

boredatwork82

Hey OP,

Life is too short to wait and see how it goes. If you don't like it walk. It's not your problem. Bosses problem for been a dick.

Go in Monday morning ask to have a word. Tell him you understand he is annoyed that your leaving but you are prepared to be fair and work your notice diligently and ensure business continuity.
Tell him if he is going to be a dick you are just going to walk.

He will probably be apologetic and explain that they are stressed because your leaving. its not nice to leave a job on a bad note. And the grass isn't always greener on the other side so you may never know when you need a reference or a job.


Use this situation as an opportunity to gain the confidence to deal with this type of thing head on. A skill that seems to be lacking in modern Ireland. We aren't great at dealing with situations head on

And like others said, if your not happy ,walk. I have been in situations similar before, twice I walked. Other times I confronted. I felt great after each decision.

beauf

Be professional and don't burn bridges I would say. You never know when you meet these people again.

OldMrBrennan83

beauf wrote: »

Be professional and don't burn bridges I would say. You never know when you meet these people again.

Without bending over though. Reinforcing this managers behaviour out of fear ends up making it worse for us all.

jopax

KevinCavan wrote: »

Get a sick Cert for the week and let him fcuk himself[/quote

Definitely agree with this, why stress about a d...head that your not going to deal with anymore. Your covered with a cert &:gone out the door. It's the easiest way out of a toxic situation, it's not going to do you any good to stay there to the end, I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of bullying you anymore.

jopax

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Be honest with yourself. Are you completely blameless here? I've been a manager a long time and I've consistently noticed bad employees always lie to themselves about their bad performance. I've also seen a lot of employees who feel they're victims, but really they're just looking at everything in the most negative way possible.

I'm not saying you're lying. I'm saying have a look at your performance and see if there are things you could have done better. Then try not to repeat those in the next job.

If you're going mad, just leave.

That is fair enough with your view on things, the issue that is unfair & unprofessional is that he is talking to his co worker about him & saying nasty things.
If there are things the op can improve on why not call him in & have a proper chat with him on what the issues are. There is no excuse for being a bully to anyone, & respect is a 2 way street.

eagle eye

My advice would be to get a small notebook and take notes of all your interactions with your boss. Use a new page for each day if you don't fill the page up.
Make sure he sees this and if he asks you what it's about tell him you spoke to a solicitor and he advised you to do this.
If that doesn't stop him then go to a solicitor and he'll get you sorted.

SCOOP 64

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Be honest with yourself. Are you completely blameless here? I've been a manager a long time and I've consistently noticed bad employees always lie to themselves about their bad performance. I've also seen a lot of employees who feel they're victims, but really they're just looking at everything in the most negative way possible.

I'm not saying you're lying. I'm saying have a look at your performance and see if there are things you could have done better. Then try not to repeat those in the next job.

If you're going mad, just leave.

The op has handed in notice???

dartboardio

There are dickhead bosses too tho. I worked for a small family business and thinking back.. The boss was so ignorant and horrible. Telling me women were only good for serving in the front of the shop.. I had to work 14 days in a row because I was usually part time... Etc

If you are not happy just leave.

judeboy101

If you have job lined up why not turn up everyday and do the bare minimum, literally treat every day as work to rule.

OMM 0000

jopax wrote: »

That is fair enough with your view on things, the issue that is unfair & unprofessional is that he is talking to his co worker about him & saying nasty things.
If there are things the op can improve on why not call him in & have a proper chat with him on what the issues are. There is no excuse for being a bully to anyone, & respect is a 2 way street.

SCOOP 64 wrote: »

The op has handed in notice???

People usually don't act angry and unreasonable for no reason. The managers I've seen who are pissed off with a team member is almost always because the team member is being difficult / unreasonable / an asshole.

I'll give a real example:

I worked with a girl who used to come into work high, would fall asleep at her desk for an hour or two, and would walk around the office high as a kite, making a fool of herself and us.

Her work was terrible, she was unreasonable, she was dishonest. The company were incredibly patient with her. They gave her over 6 months to sort herself out. She just got worse.

She eventually quit and blamed it all on the company. I know her twitter so I saw her rants about it - how her boss is cruel and abusive, how she's the victim, etc.

It's exactly like the stuff I read here on boards - it's always the manager who's evil. People just can't seem to self-reflect.

Again I'm not saying the OP is in the wrong here, but based on my experience I would say it's unlikely she is innocent either.

Also, and we need to remember this, some people are just super sensitive. You say anything to them and they consider it an attack.

So I'd like to hear the manager's side of things before casting judgement. Surely this is the reasonable position to take.

Regardless, she should just leave. It's incredibly unlikely he will sue her.

Mongfinder General

OMM 0000 wrote: »

People usually don't act angry and unreasonable for no reason. The managers I've seen who are pissed off with a team member is almost always because the team member is being difficult / unreasonable / an asshole.

I'll give a real example:

I worked with a girl who used to come into work high, would fall asleep at her desk for an hour or two, and would walk around the office high as a kite, making a fool of herself and us.

Her work was terrible, she was unreasonable, she was dishonest. The company were incredibly patient with her. They gave her over 6 months to sort herself out. She just got worse.

She eventually quit and blamed it all on the company. I know her twitter so I saw her rants about it - how her boss is cruel and abusive, how she's the victim, etc.

It's exactly like the stuff I read here on boards - it's always the manager who's evil. People just can't seem to self-reflect.

Again I'm not saying the OP is in the wrong here, but based on my experience I would say it's unlikely she is innocent either.

Also, and we need to remember this, some people are just super sensitive. You say anything to them and they consider it an attack.

So I'd like to hear the manager's side of things before casting judgement. Surely this is the reasonable position to take.

Regardless, she should just leave. It's incredibly unlikely he will sue her.

If the op is that bad, why is she being made work 6 weeks notice?

OldMrBrennan83

Boss is fine.
Hand in notice.
Boss is arsehole.

Fairly plain to see which person is the issue.

OMM 0000

Mongfinder General wrote: »

If the op is that bad, why is she being made work 6 weeks notice?

I'm not saying the OP is terrible.

Her contract states she needs to give 6 weeks notice. Perhaps it is difficult to replace her.

My contract requires 13 weeks notice. Yet my boss is lovely.

Having a long notice period doesn't mean your employer is evil.

OMM 0000

OldMrBrennan83 wrote: »

Boss is fine.
Hand in notice.
Boss is arsehole.

Fairly plain to see which person is the issue.

Are you sure that's the entire story?

OldMrBrennan83

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Are you sure that's the entire story?

How can you be sure anything on this whole site is ever the whole story? But when people doubt everything that's posted and start completely fabricating another angle then there's very little point to anyone ever posting a thing.

OMM 0000

OldMrBrennan83 wrote: »

How can you be sure anything on this whole site is ever the whole story? But when people doubt everything that's posted and start completely fabricating another angle then there's very little point to anyone ever posting a thing.

That's why I took the reasonable position of assuming there is another side to the story, and that we should not cast judgement until we have the entire picture. Surely this is a lot more mature than just assuming her boss is evil.

It is highly unlikely her boss is angry at her just because she gave her notice. I've never seen a manager angry at a staff member for giving notice. But I have seen managers angry at staff who continuously break the rules, are rude, etc.

I also gave advice: she should just quit if she's going mad. It's very unlikely he will sue her.

OldMrBrennan83

OMM 0000 wrote: »

That's why I took the reasonable position of assuming there is another side to the story, and that we should not cast judgement until we have the entire picture. Surely this is a lot more mature than just assuming her boss is evil.

It is highly unlikely her boss is angry at her just because she gave her notice. I've never seen a manager angry at a staff member for giving notice. But I have seen managers angry at staff who continuously break the rules, are rude, etc.

I also gave advice: she should just quit if she's going mad. It's very unlikely he will sue her.

But the boss isn't going to post here so it's all just guess work and making things up then. Granted there may be another side but as always we can only go on the account given. This site has become far too rife with accusations of liar to posters looking for advice.


Two jobs ago my boss ignored me from the time I handed in my notice like a 12 year old. Even met him in a supermarket a few months later and he was about a step away from sticking his fingers in his ears and going la la la when I said hello to him.

OMM 0000

OldMrBrennan83 wrote: »

But the boss isn't going to post here so it's all just guess work and making things up then. Granted there may be another side but as always we can only go on the account given. This site has become far too rife with accusations of liar to posters looking for advice.


Two jobs ago my boss ignored me from the time I handed in my notice like a 12 year old. Even met him in a supermarket a few months later and he was about a step away from sticking his fingers in his ears and going la la la when I said hello to him.

I believe it makes sense to consider all angles - even those not spelt out to you - when trying to understand things.

I assume when you see the news, you don't just believe what they say, right? You think about what they didn't say, what an opposing opinion could be, etc.

Or perhaps you do just believe whatever you're told. I know that's common too.

Anyway, I have no interest in arguing with you. Go ahead and have the last word.

OldMrBrennan83

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I believe it makes sense to consider all angles - even those not spelt out to you - when trying to understand things.

I assume when you see the news, you don't just believe what they say, right? You think about what they didn't say, what an opposing opinion could be, etc.

Or perhaps you do just believe whatever you're told. I know that's common too.

Anyway, I have no interest in arguing with you. Go ahead and have the last word.

I really don't have any wish for it to be an argument or have the last word (though I lost track of all the thinly veiled insults in the above so maybe one of us is doing a bit of point scoring). All I was saying is that it's grand to consider two accounts when you actually have two accounts. We don't though and by that measure someone could say absolutely anything (OP is sniffing coke off their desk, boss is a paedophile, colleague is a neo nazi, etc) just on the basis that everything must be considered.

We have a person looking for advice, they've given an account, so the best thing to do is base advice on that unless the boss in question rocks up with a retort and their account of things.

Renegade Mechanic

OP, I'm concerned your job may not have been as bad as you may have thought, if you know you're going free in six weeks and yet whenever the boss brings the dicks to the table, you let it get you down instead of laughing straight into his face with that fact behind you.

Laugh. Into. Face. What's he going to do, fire you?

skallywag

Normally I would always recommend working out your notice, but in this case I can certainly sympathize with the OP. If the boss has really turned from one day to the next, merely on the back of the resignation, with nothing else in play, then he's an asshole in my opinion.

Concerning the legal aspect of it, I would not worry at all about it, there is no way that the boss is going to chase this up.

Now, on the reference topic, you generally will get a mixed response on this forum.

Some will tell you that references are meaningless today in that they only list official info, while others (myself included) will tell you that they will not hire someone without having a short informal chat with a previous supervisor. I know that the OP has a new position secured, but keep in mind that it may not always work out as you think, and you could find yourself leaving said new position soon, for whatever reason. Hence it's always good to leave on good terms, if at all possible, but all in all in this particular case I would be tending to say to hell with it.

jopax

Quote Omm 0000

People usually don't act angry and unreasonable for no reason. The managers I've seen who are pissed off with a team member is almost always because the team member is being difficult / unreasonable / an asshole.


Yes people usually don't act like that for no reason, but not always & your going under the assumption that managers are the good guys based on your experience.
Some people are just horrible bullies & being a manager doesn't make you exempt from that.
Also bear in mind in such a small company bosses can get away with a lot more whereas in bigger companies there would be more people to complain about mistreatment

OMM 0000

jopax wrote: »

Yes people usually don't act like that for no reason, but not always & your going under the assumption that managers are the good guys based on your experience.
Some people are just horrible bullies & being a manager doesn't make you exempt from that.
Also bear in mind in such a small company bosses can get away with a lot more whereas in bigger companies there would be more people to complain about mistreatment

I don't disagree with you, but if you look at the many posts here on boards, it's always the manager is evil and the worker is innocent and angelic.

It doesn't make sense.

I'm sure you know plenty of people who were crap at their jobs. They probably blamed their manager too.

GreeBo

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I don't disagree with you, but if you look at the many posts here on boards, it's always the manager is evil and the worker is innocent and angelic.

It doesn't make sense.

I'm sure you know plenty of people who were crap at their jobs. They probably blamed their manager too.

If the person is crap at their job the manager wouldn't suddenly act like a dick when they resign?

Usually is because the manager doesn't want to have to deal with hiring a replacement.

OMM 0000

GreeBo wrote: »

If the person is crap at their job the manager wouldn't suddenly act like a dick when they resign?

Usually is because the manager doesn't want to have to deal with hiring a replacement.

I'd like to know the circumstances before her resignation.

The fact she says the boss is "creating situations where I’ll mess up on purpose or to make me look incompetent" really sets off an alarm bell for me. Managers don't do things like this. They're too busy with real problems. Why would they waste time playing mind games with someone who is leaving soon? It makes no sense.

I understand a lot of people who post here hate management and think managers are evil, but believe it or not managers are people too.

I do believe if everyone is unhappy, it probably doesn't make sense she fulfils her 6 week notice period, although it's possible the business needs her.

oceanman

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Be honest with yourself. Are you completely blameless here? I've been a manager a long time and I've consistently noticed bad employees always lie to themselves about their bad performance. I've also seen a lot of employees who feel they're victims, but really they're just looking at everything in the most negative way possible.

I'm not saying you're lying. I'm saying have a look at your performance and see if there are things you could have done better. Then try not to repeat those in the next job.

If you're going mad, just leave.

if the person is a bad employee then why wasn't the boss on their back from the get go? why has he only turned nasty in the last few days since the op handed in their notice? seems to me he is pi**ed because he knows they will be hard to replace, hence the ridiculous six weeks notice period ..

OMM 0000

oceanman wrote: »

if the person is a bad employee then why wasn't the boss on their back from the get go? why has he only turned nasty in the last few days since the op handed in their notice? seems to me he is pi**ed because he knows they will be hard to replace, hence the ridiculous six weeks notice period ..

Maybe after she gave in her notice she stopped working? I'm sure you've met colleagues who become useless once they hand in their notice.

Is it really so hard to believe an employee may not be telling the full story?

oceanman

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Maybe after she gave in her notice she stopped working? I'm sure you've met colleagues who become useless once they hand in their notice.

Is it really so hard to believe an employee may not be telling the full story?

cant really say I agree, most people either have a good work ethic or they don't, someone dosent just turn into a slacker because they hand in their notice. people much prefare to leave their boss and work colleagues on a good note.

IITYWYBMAD

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Maybe after she gave in her notice she stopped working? I'm sure you've met colleagues who become useless once they hand in their notice.

Is it really so hard to believe an employee may not be telling the full story?

She had given in her notice 2 days before and immediately noticed a change in her bosses attitude to her.

I've never met a colleague who became useless after they handed in their notice, in fact I would say most people I've come across in my professional life wanted to leave with a positive atmosphere upon changing jobs.

Maybe when she gave in her notice, her head fell off?? You can try and dig as many holes as you want (personally I would have stopped many posts ago) in the OP's story, and come up with your Svengalian theories until you're blue in the face, but the nature of boards such as these means that we have to take the posters issue as read. If you want to call the OP a liar and ask them to look at themselves, fire away, but it brings nothing to the discussion.

OP, it's obvious that you're departure is going to cause the company some issues. Give the boss a little time to try and come to terms with the loss of 33% of his/her staff, and see if they come around. IF the atmosphere is still toxic after a couple more weeks, it won't be good for either of you, so you'll probably have to make a decision on more decisive action then.