Quit job, boss is now being horrible

Wabbit Ears

No Karen, your work isn't really that fantastic, In fact it sucks and always has. OH god how fantastic it is to finally just be able to say that. Goddammit Karen, I can't wait till you're gone from my life forever... - girl named Karen's boss probably.

GreeBo

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Maybe after she gave in her notice she stopped working? I'm sure you've met colleagues who become useless once they hand in their notice.

Is it really so hard to believe an employee may not be telling the full story?

Why on earth would she bother starting a thread so?

OMM 0000

GreeBo wrote: »

Why on earth would she bother starting a thread so?

I'm not saying every thread should have both sides of the story.

I'm saying we should consider all angles when formulating our replies.

For example, if someone says she was fired because she is a woman, shouldn't we consider that maybe she was fired for other reasons? What would be the point in everyone replying saying "yeah most men hate women, sorry you were fired for being a woman".

Surely this is common sense?

GreeBo

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I'm not saying every thread should have both sides of the story.

I'm saying we should consider all angles when formulating our replies.

For example, if someone says she was fired because she is a woman, shouldn't we consider that maybe she was fired for other reasons? What would be the point in everyone replying saying "yeah most men hate women, sorry you were fired for being a woman".

Surely this is common sense?

But in this instance the OP has ZERO to gain by starting a thread and lying to us. I'll ask again, what would the the point?

OMM 0000

GreeBo wrote: »

But in this instance the OP has ZERO to gain by starting a thread and lying to us. I'll ask again, what would the the point?

It's not necessarily that they're lying. I'm repeating myself now, so maybe I should stop replying in this thread, but as a manager you realise how deluded people are about their own behavior and performance.

A lot of people are unable to self-reflect and handle criticism. The problem is always someone else.

I've seen it so many times. In fact, it is incredibly refreshing to meet someone who is able to accurately assess their own behavior and performance.

So my point on all this is:

The OP may not be blameless here (if I had to bet money, she is definitely not blameless).

Let me elaborate on this a little bit.

I see many employees who have bad performance and behavior. They come in late. They take long lunches. They browse the web all day. They do a lazy job. Etc.

Their manager generally won't give out to them for all of this, as it would be seen as micromanagement or even bullying. So the employee thinks she's getting away with this. She thinks her manager hasn't noticed.

Then one day she goes out drinking and rings in sick the next day. Her manager is frustrated at this, because the project is behind schedule.

The employee thinks to herself: my manager is such an asshole. All I did was ring in sick.

Whereas the manager is thinking: this person is so unreliable. I give her so many chances. I let her away with so much bad behavior but she just doesn't care.

The employee then comes to boards and posts how her manager is unreasonable and she wants to quit.

Managers will definitely know what I'm talking about here.

So when people post things about their manager being evil, because I actually understand this topic (I'm old, am manager, have been a ****ty employee in previous jobs when I was young) I am able to look at it from all angles and give an actual non-shallow answer.

My advice to her was this:

Self-reflect to make sure you aren't partially to blame, so you don't carry these issues into your next job.

Leave if you can't handle it anymore. It's unlikely they will sue you.

Is this really such terrible advice?

Renegade Mechanic

GreeBo wrote: »

But in this instance the OP has ZERO to gain by starting a thread and lying to us. I'll ask again, what would the the point?

GreeBo

OMM 0000 wrote: »

It's not necessarily that they're lying. I'm repeating myself now, so maybe I should stop replying in this thread, but as a manager you realise how deluded people are about their own behavior and performance.

A lot of people are unable to self-reflect and handle criticism. The problem is always someone else.

I've seen it so many times. In fact, it is incredibly refreshing to meet someone who is able to accurately assess their own behavior and performance.

So my point on all this is:

The OP may not be blameless here (if I had to bet money, she is definitely not blameless).

Let me elaborate on this a little bit.

I see many employees who have bad performance and behavior. They come in late. They take long lunches. They browse the web all day. They do a lazy job. Etc.

Their manager generally won't give out to them for all of this, as it would be seen as micromanagement or even bullying. So the employee thinks she's getting away with this. She thinks her manager hasn't noticed.

Then one day she goes out drinking and rings in sick the next day. Her manager is frustrated at this, because the project is behind schedule.

The employee thinks to herself: my manager is such an asshole. All I did was ring in sick.

Whereas the manager is thinking: this person is so unreliable. I give her so many chances. I let her away with so much bad behavior but she just doesn't care.

The employee then comes to boards and posts how her manager is unreasonable and she wants to quit.

Managers will definitely know what I'm talking about here.

So when people post things about their manager being evil, because I actually understand this topic (I'm old, am manager, have been a ****ty employee in previous jobs when I was young) I am able to look at it from all angles and give an actual non-shallow answer.

My advice to her was this:

Self-reflect to make sure you aren't partially to blame, so you don't carry these issues into your next job.

Leave if you can't handle it anymore. It's unlikely they will sue you.

Is this really such terrible advice?

Great story and I totally didnt see the twist in the end...but none of that has anything to do with the OP.
Its not a shallow answer to state that lots of managers lose the head when someone quits, especially in a small company as the impact is much more. I've had it happen to me and seen it happen with others.
I've also seen managers only *delighted* when the problem employee finally decides to move on. Causing them grief when they are leaving and you want them to go is a much less likely scenario than the manager just having an unprofessional, personal response to a resignation.

OMM 0000

GreeBo wrote: »

Great story and I totally didnt see the twist in the end...but none of that has anything to do with the OP.

Then you either didn't read my post or don't understand.

I'm not going to keep repeating myself. Good luck to you.

GreeBo

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Then you either didn't read my post or don't understand.

I'm not going to keep repeating myself. Good luck to you.

"The employee then comes to boards and posts how her manager is unreasonable and she wants to quit. "

The OP has quit. This all started after they quit. I dont know why you are telling stories about unrelated scenarios to try to somehow defend your point.

OMM 0000

GreeBo wrote: »

"The employee then comes to boards and posts how her manager is unreasonable and she wants to quit. "

The OP has quit. This all started after they quit. I dont know why you are telling stories about unrelated scenarios to try to somehow defend your point.

Because there's most likely more to the story.

Do you just believe whatever you're told, and not try to see where bias or misinformation might be creeping in?

Do you really think there's no chance the OP did something else to bother her manager?

Do you really think people don't lie or misrepresent information online?

I think you probably aren't like this, but you've dug your heels in and need to defend your position no matter what.

So I am wasting my time. Again, good luck to you, I won't be responding to you any further. Go ahead and have the last word.

Green&Red

GreeBo wrote: »

"The employee then comes to boards and posts how her manager is unreasonable and she wants to quit. "

The OP has quit. This all started after they quit. I dont know why you are telling stories about unrelated scenarios to try to somehow defend your point.

OMM makes a great point, people have a narrow view of the world, it’s easy to be the victim. It’s takes a lot to be able to judge a scenario you’re involved in impartially, almost impossible.

It may be exactly as the OP says or they may take on board what OMM has suggested and use it as a learning experience

GreeBo

Green&Red wrote: »

OMM makes a great point, people have a narrow view of the world, it’s easy to be the victim. It’s takes a lot to be able to judge a scenario you’re involved in impartially, almost impossible.

It may be exactly as the OP says or they may take on board what OMM has suggested and use it as a learning experience

So then we might as well shut down the forum if every OP is going to be second guessed.

I'm sure OMM has a perfectly valid point in many cases, but using the details we have from the OP they don't and are just sidetracking the thread.

PhuckHugh2

OMM 0000 are you a manager in a company with 3 employees soon to be 2?

Wanderer2010

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Then you either didn't read my post or don't understand.

I'm not going to keep repeating myself. Good luck to you.

A lot of what you say makes sense but I don't get a sense anywhere in your posts that it could also be the case that the boss is just a bullying pr!ck.

There are tonnes of petty and nasty and downright horrible people who wear the boss hat. Can you at least see that?

OMM 0000

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

A lot of what you say makes sense but I don't get a sense anywhere in your posts that it could also be the case that the boss is just a bullying pr!ck.

There are tonnes of petty and nasty and downright horrible people who wear the boss hat. Can you at least see that?

Psycho bosses do exist. My wife has one. He takes pleasure making a fool out of people in front of others. He does it to everyone, all the time.

The thing which sparked my "hmm something not right here" is how the OP claims the boss is playing mind games with her, giving her tasks which he knows she will fail. I think a more realistic explanation is she is just failing the tasks, and instead of thinking a) I don't know how to do this task, I need to ask for help or b) my manager doesn't realise I don't know how to do this task, instead she is thinking c) there is some sort of mind game being played against me.

Of course, everything she wrote could be true. It seems odd though that a manager would turn psycho (mind games) just because someone gave their notice. Surely if he's a psycho she would have noticed this before. Also, how many people actually play mind games? I've never seen this in my 20+ years working.

We already know she is not a rule follower, as she is willing to leave without giving her proper notice.

That's why I feel there is more to the story.

Obviously I don't know the OP, don't know the full story, and wish her the best.

Wanderer2010

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Psycho bosses do exist. My wife has one. He takes pleasure making a fool out of people in front of others. He does it to everyone, all the time.

The thing which sparked my "hmm something not right here" is how the OP claims the boss is playing mind games with her, giving her tasks which he knows she will fail. I think a more realistic explanation is she is just failing the tasks, and instead of thinking a) I don't know how to do this task, I need to ask for help or b) my manager doesn't realise I don't know how to do this task, instead she is thinking c) there is some sort of mind game being played against me.

Of course, everything she wrote could be true. It seems odd though that a manager would turn psycho (mind games) just because someone gave their notice. Surely if he's a psycho she would have noticed this before. Also, how many people actually play mind games? I've never seen this in my 20+ years working.

We already know she is not a rule follower, as she is willing to leave without giving her proper notice.

That's why I feel there is more to the story.

Obviously I don't know the OP, don't know the full story, and wish her the best.

Unless you worked for a nice employer for all those years, it would be extremely unusual not to find someone playing mind games in the workplace. People are not flawless, they bring their whole personalities to the job and as well, internal politics can be brutal and make people behave strangely for example making you think you are stupid, lying, bullying, withholding information. The workplace is a minefield of mind games and they are equally played by men and women.
Im not saying the OP here is right or wrong, but you seem to have a fixed viewpoint of what does and doesn't happen in workplaces based solely on your own experience.

OMM 0000

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Unless you worked for a nice employer for all those years, it would be extremely unusual not to find someone playing mind games in the workplace. People are not flawless, they bring their whole personalities to the job and as well, internal politics can be brutal and make people behave strangely for example making you think you are stupid, lying, bullying, withholding information. The workplace is a minefield of mind games and they are equally played by men and women.
Im not saying the OP here is right or wrong, but you seem to have a fixed viewpoint of what does and doesn't happen in workplaces based solely on your own experience.

I've worked with people who are arseholes, overly aggressive, dishonest, etc., but never with someone who plays mind games.

I've never heard of any manager giving his staff tasks he knows they won't be able to do, as some sort of psychological punishment. It just doesn't make sense. When you think it through, he's just shooting himself in the foot.

It really reminds me of the weird posts I see here all the time, where people think managers are Montgomery Burns type characters, sitting in their offices thinking of ways to hurt their staff. That's just not the real world. Managers are not like that. They're human, they're flawed, but they don't want to make extra work for themselves by giving their staff fake tasks as some sort of punishment.

I've worked with probably a thousand people over the years. Never encountered mind games, and I've worked with some really really vicious people.

Wanderer2010

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I've worked with people who are arseholes, overly aggressive, dishonest, etc., but never with someone who plays mind games.

I've never heard of any manager giving his staff tasks he knows they won't be able to do, as some sort of psychological punishment. It just doesn't make sense. When you think it through, he's just shooting himself in the foot.

It really reminds me of the weird posts I see here all the time, where people think managers are Montgomery Burns type characters, sitting in their offices thinking of ways to hurt their staff. That's just not the real world. Managers are not like that. They're human, they're flawed, but they don't want to make extra work for themselves by giving their staff fake tasks as some sort of punishment.

I've worked with probably a thousand people over the years. Never encountered mind games, and I've worked with some really really vicious people.

Of course there are bosses that play mind games. What about big multi nationals with lots of layers of management and high turnover? There are plenty of sadistic and weird managers in these places who think nothing of piling on unreasonable workloads just for the fun of humiliating them when they cant deliver.

Other places example the bosses son doesnt like you and wants you gone he plays mind games and bends the truth just to make you look nuts. If you actually think no managers out there play mind games then i think you are in the majority of one.

OMM 0000

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Of course there are bosses that play mind games. What about big multi nationals with lots of layers of management and high turnover? There are plenty of sadistic and weird managers in these places who think nothing of piling on unreasonable workloads just for the fun of humiliating them when they cant deliver.

I've never come across this.

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

Other places example the bosses son doesnt like you and wants you gone he plays mind games and bends the truth just to make you look nuts. If you actually think no managers out there play mind games then i think you are in the majority of one.

I've never seen this either.

Just to clarify again, I think there is a difference between aggressive/dishonest behavior, and "mind games".

Someone lying to make themselves look good? For sure, it happens all the time.

Someone being aggressive to make people scared of them? Happens all the time too.

Someone playing psychological games with someone for their amusement? Never seen it. Also, what sort of mind game is giving someone lots of work? Surely that's just called the working world.

jopax

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I've never come across this.




I've never seen this either.

Just to clarify again, I think there is a difference between aggressive/dishonest behavior, and "mind games".

Someone lying to make themselves look good? For sure, it happens all the time.

Someone being aggressive to make people scared of them? Happens all the time too.

Someone playing psychological games with someone for their amusement? Never seen it. Also, what sort of mind game is giving someone lots of work? Surely that's just called the working world.

I worked in a small company many a moon ago, where there was 2 partners that owned it & I had an awful time from 1 of them. He definitely played mind games, he was so bad that at times I was questioning my own sanity. It had an awful impact on me & my confidence, so please believe it certainly does exist.

Wanderer2010

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I've never come across this.




I've never seen this either.

Just to clarify again, I think there is a difference between aggressive/dishonest behavior, and "mind games".

Someone lying to make themselves look good? For sure, it happens all the time.

Someone being aggressive to make people scared of them? Happens all the time too.

Someone playing psychological games with someone for their amusement? Never seen it. Also, what sort of mind game is giving someone lots of work? Surely that's just called the working world.

If you have never seen bosses playing mind games with their employees then you haven't worked in enough places. It goes on all the time. I have worked in a lot of places and I can name 4 of those places where the boss was a sadistic bully who loved to set employees up for failure then bawled them out in front of everyone just for the pure fun of it. Another place one of the bosses was a complete cnut who used to turn staff against each other just to cover up her own shortcomings.
People play mind games all the time. It doesn't stop at a clock-in machine of a company.

jopax

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

If you have never seen bosses playing mind games with their employees then you haven't worked in enough places. It goes on all the time. I have worked in a lot of places and I can name 4 of those places where the boss was a sadistic bully who loved to set employees up for failure then bawled them out in front of everyone just for the pure fun of it. Another place one of the bosses was a complete cnut who used to turn staff against each other just to cover up her own shortcomings.
People play mind games all the time. It doesn't stop at a clock-in machine of a company.

Couldn't agree more, it goes on everywhere. That's why if you have a few good friends you are very lucky. People can be very petty & at worst very nasty.

OMM 0000

Wanderer2010 wrote: »

If you have never seen bosses playing mind games with their employees then you haven't worked in enough places. It goes on all the time. I have worked in a lot of places and I can name 4 of those places where the boss was a sadistic bully who loved to set employees up for failure then bawled them out in front of everyone just for the pure fun of it. Another place one of the bosses was a complete cnut who used to turn staff against each other just to cover up her own shortcomings.
People play mind games all the time. It doesn't stop at a clock-in machine of a company.

I'm in my 40s, have worked in many companies in many countries.

I think frequently when people think the manager is playing mind games, for example, he gave me too much work, what's actually happening is the manager simply gave too much work, and the employee didn't communicate it's too much work. Then because the employee didn't communicate anything, the manager is annoyed when the deadline comes and the employee failed.

That is far more likely the explanation than a manager sitting at his desk thinking "yes, I will give him these tasks, then I can make a fool of him in front of everyone". Frankly that's not a real world way of viewing management.

Again, there are definitely managers who are dishonest and overly aggressive.

Anyway, why am I repeating myself. I'm leaving this thread now.

jopax

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I'm in my 40s, have worked in many companies in many countries.

I think frequently when people think the manager is playing mind games, for example, he gave me too much work, what's actually happening is the manager simply gave too much work, and the employee didn't communicate it's too much work. Then because the employee didn't communicate anything, the manager is annoyed when the deadline comes and the employee failed.

That is far more likely the explanation than a manager sitting at his desk thinking "yes, I will give him these tasks, then I can make a fool of him in front of everyone". Frankly that's not a real world way of viewing management.

Again, there are definitely managers who are dishonest and overly aggressive.

Anyway, why am I repeating myself. I'm leaving this thread now.

Just before you do leave this board, can you not even entertain the idea of bosses playing mind games. ,Forget about the original posts situation.
I'm in my 40's too, so I have had plenty of work experience behind me. Any where I worked i got on really well with people,. some managers are nicer than others but once they know your doing a good job they don't bother you.
I explained in an earlier post about how I was treated in a previous post about how badly I was treated, & there was mind games. I left after 10 MTHS of hell.
I have never came across anything like that since thankfully. Just maybe think that it is possible, not every thing is black & white.

OMM 0000

I can accept it happens, of course, it's just not anyway near as common as boards.ie users think it is.

As I've stated before, people are terrible at self-reflection, especially when the truth of the self-reflection is they were slacking off and doing a bad job. So rather than accept responsibility, they instead blame their manager.

So based on this, I think statistically it is unlikely the OP is telling the full story.

This is really my last post in this thread.

OldMrBrennan83

So anyway, did the OP ever land back?

jopax

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I can accept it happens, of course, it's just not anyway near as common as boards.ie users think it is.

As I've stated before, people are terrible at self-reflection, especially when the truth of the self-reflection is they were slacking off and doing a bad job. So rather than accept responsibility, they instead blame their manager.

So based on this, I think statistically it is unlikely the OP is telling the full story.

This is really my last post in this thread.

Fair enough

alexmalalex

noclue12 wrote: »

Hi all
So I handed in my notice two days ago, I had to give 6 weeks notice as per my contract but ever since my boss has been unbearable. It’s a small company with only one other staff member and he is treating me terribly.
Ignoring me, blaming things on me that aren’t my fault, creating situations where I’ll mess up on purpose or to make me look incompetent. Talking to my co-worker about me, saying horrible things. Being really short and nasty when he does have to talk to me.
I can’t really go into to much detail but I’m already stressed and feel sick about going back on Monday. Not to mind staying for another 5 weeks.

What happens if I breach my contract and leave early?
I don’t need references or anything as I’ve already secured another job.

Please any help would be much appreciated

I'm late to the thread, and so what I suggest may already have been answered. My sense is that the boss is frustrated at having to recruit, hire, train, and on board someone new. I'm not sure how you handled the quitting part, so will desist from commenting.

I'd brush aside the bosses rudeness, and would do all you can to be as helpful as possible during your last few weeks. Handling the next few weeks badly could have negative implications for you at your new job. So, perhaps request a meeting with your boss, and ask what you can do to smooth the transition.

I doubt your boss is being deliberately horrible - it is likely he or she is under severe pressure. So, to the extent that you recognize that pressure, and help, then relations should be much improved.