I want to die

dragona

I don't know why it takes so long to get the ashes back, it is ridiculous. Five weeks now, and I am getting worked up about it.

I am sleeping a lot. I look at Reuben and wish he could articulate into words what he is feeling.I'm never going to see her again. I just feel like wailing.

But I am going about my business as I should, no one would ever know what I really feel. I just feel like my life will never be the same again.

Gael23

We got the ashes after a month. Have you spoken to the vets about it?

DBB

Five weeks is a long wait... They usually say it'll be no more than 3. Have you tried calling your vet to see what the delay is?
Getting the ashes back is a bit bitter sweet op, in my experience anyway... The initial, raw grief comes back with a bang, but there's also a huge comfort in having them back home with you.
Mind yourself

Gael23

As DBB says, the moment you pick up the urn you will feel like you’ve been hit by a train and like your reliving her loss. But afterwards it brings a sense of comfort that I can’t put in a sentence. But now we have a pice of him in the house forever. I can go weeks without thinking about it but then it hits you.

dragona

Gael23 wrote: »

We got the ashes after a month. Have you spoken to the vets about it?

Yes I have called them twice, apparently it is up to six weeks which I think is excessive.

I want her back. Whatever is left of her. It isn't her I know, but I still want it.

Graces7

Gael23 wrote: »

As DBB says, the moment you pick up the urn you will feel like you’ve been hit by a train and like your reliving her loss. But afterwards it brings a sense of comfort that I can’t put in a sentence. But now we have a pice of him in the house forever. I can go weeks without thinking about it but then it hits you.

I have very mixed feelings about/reaction to the grave here of my dog and cat. Just not comfortable with it.

PinkLady2016

dragona wrote: »

Yes I have called them twice, apparently it is up to six weeks which I think is excessive.

I want her back. Whatever is left of her. It isn't her I know, but I still want it.

That's a very long time to get the ashes back. Did they do an individual cremation or group cremation?

I was going to get my dog cremated but it wasn't individual so I could have been getting another dogs ashes back. They were charging €200 for them to be returned. The vet said some don't get them back.

Anyway it was so upsetting that I just got a canvas done up with my favourite photos of him and a keyring. Just want to remember him as he was.

dragona

PinkLady2016 wrote: »

That's a very long time to get the ashes back. Did they do an individual cremation or group cremation?

I was going to get my dog cremated but it wasn't individual so I could have been getting another dogs ashes back. They were charging €200 for them to be returned. The vet said some don't get them back.

Anyway it was so upsetting that I just got a canvas done up with my favourite photos of him and a keyring. Just want to remember him as he was.

I requested individual cremation, as I did with Vito. I am annoyed actually, I called the vet and they said they would get onto the cremation company and call me back. They didn't, so I contacted them myself.

They had an upgrade to their chambers so are working two weeks behind. That's what they told me anyway.Who knows. I have found out that Judy was cremated 24 March, which is over three weeks from her death.

So she has been in a fridge all this time. I don't know why this upsets me so much. I sort of imagined it would be done straight away Three weeks I didn't have with her.

They have agreed to courier me over her ashes directly to my home, so I don't have to go back to my vet to collect.

I am missing her so terribly

Graces7

dragona wrote: »

I requested individual cremation, as I did with Vito. I am annoyed actually, I called the vet and they said they would get onto the cremation company and call me back. They didn't, so I contacted them myself.

They had an upgrade to their chambers so are working two weeks behind. That's what they told me anyway.Who knows. I have found out that Judy was cremated 24 March, which is over three weeks from her death.

So she has been in a fridge all this time. I don't know why this upsets me so much. I sort of imagined it would be done straight away Three weeks I didn't have with her.

They have agreed to courier me over her ashes directly to my home, so I don't have to go back to my vet to collect.

I am missing her so terribly

Hang on in there; You are doing so well

Irish Stones

I think that your vet should have informed you that the cremation company was undergoing an upgrade, the vet should have known that, I'm sure of it, after all he/she deals with them almost on a daily basis.
Your vet should have directed you to another company, if available.


I think I could die if I knew that my pet is stored into a fridge for three weeks before being cremated!
And anyway, once a pet is cremated, its ashes have to come back in a couple of days, tops.


The company that I use returns the ashes on the same day, and they allow me to take the pet to them and allow me to attend the cremation, which is the thing I prefer and like the most of the whole process... this way I'm totally sure that the ashes I'm collecting are the ones of my pet.

acequion

Irish Stones wrote: »

I think that your vet should have informed you that the cremation company was undergoing an upgrade, the vet should have known that, I'm sure of it, after all he/she deals with them almost on a daily basis.
Your vet should have directed you to another company, if available.


I think I could die if I knew that my pet is stored into a fridge for three weeks before being cremated!
And anyway, once a pet is cremated, its ashes have to come back in a couple of days, tops.


The company that I use returns the ashes on the same day, and they allow me to take the pet to them and allow me to attend the cremation, which is the thing I prefer and like the most of the whole process... this way I'm totally sure that the ashes I'm collecting are the ones of my pet.

You raise interesting points there and as these are not things we like to dwell on when our pets are hale and hearty, we are often at their mercy when our darling pets die. So it's good to be forewarned.

Are there many such companies? And is it standard to rely on one's vet to arrange this? The [even remote possibility] of not getting back the right ashes seems horrendous so the fact that you can choose the company you prefer seems great.

However to dragona I'd like to say that I hope this hasn't upset you more. And if it has you really mustn't let it. You must concentrate on all your happy memories and you'll have her ashes back soon. I think she's in a happy place now.

Personally,while I'm not remotely religious, I do believe in the spirit. I think we are all, man and beast, more than just a bunch of cells,regardless of how highly those cells may function. I think there is something deep within us all which enables those very deep bonds we form and which survives physical death. Such beliefs have helped me cope with loss through death.

I respect that you don't have those beliefs, dragona, but I do feel that dwelling on happy memories, though it's bittersweet, may ultimately help ease the pain of loss. Hang in there.xx

anewme

Said it better than i could but similar sentiments. Dragona, you did your best by Judy. Nothing else matters.

dragona

I received Judy's ashes back today.

I'm so upset, I can't believe that's all that's left of her. I'm totally bereft.

I'm not religious in any way shape or form, but I so wish I was. I would like the comfort of knowing I'll be with her again.

Not to be. I would give everything to have her back.

Gael23

dragona wrote: »

I received Judy's ashes back today.

I'm so upset, I can't believe that's all that's left of her. I'm totally bereft.

I'm not religious in any way shape or form, but I so wish I was. I would like the comfort of knowing I'll be with her again.

Not to be. I would give everything to have her back.

It feels like you have been hit by a train.
Having that little piece of her will really comfort you once the trauma of today subsides

anewme

Judy is now home, where she belongs. Try to focus on that.

Irish Stones

dragona wrote: »

I received Judy's ashes back today.

I'm so upset, I can't believe that's all that's left of her. I'm totally bereft.

I'm not religious in any way shape or form, but I so wish I was. I would like the comfort of knowing I'll be with her again.

Not to be. I would give everything to have her back.

Yes, every time I receive the ashes of a pet back from the staff at the crematorium, I can't believe that all I have of them is just a ziplock bag of dust...
Being religious or not does not change the fact that one day we will reunite with them, somewhere.
Take care!

the beer revolu

Irish Stones wrote: »

I think I could die if I knew that my pet is stored into a fridge for three weeks before being cremated!

My father-in-law was in cold storage for 3 weeks to the day before he was cremated. This is pretty much the norm in most parts of the UK. It's not a pleasant thought but that's the way it is.

auspicious

Got the worst news of my lost cat today. It's tough, be it you have their gift of love for 6 months or 16 years.
Cats like dogs are very sensitive to you and obviously understand your relationship with them, it's sincerity when you commit to them.
When we lose them it is never easy. But it gets easier when time creates distance from the event if you know what I mean.
A couple of years ago we had a rescued cat of 12 years that somehow managed to crawl a distance back to us with a broken back. We heard his cries in the middle of the night and I'll never forget that sound. It haunts me.
I bury them all in the back garden. There's tens of them over the years, dogs and cats and I'll tell you what, the flowers don't half bloom!!!! lol.
Let your anguish out Dragona. That's your humanity. But do not let it take you over. We always remember the good times.
God bless and be strong.

acequion

auspicious wrote: »

Got the worst news of my lost cat today. It's tough, be it you have their gift of love for 6 months or 16 years.
Cats like dogs are very sensitive to you and obviously understand your relationship with them, it's sincerity when you commit to them.
When we lose them it is never easy. But it gets easier when time creates distance from the event if you know what I mean.
A couple of years ago we had a rescued cat of 12 years that somehow managed to crawl a distance back to us with a broken back. We heard his cries in the middle of the night and I'll never forget that sound. It haunts me.
I bury them all in the back garden. There's tens of them over the years, dogs and cats and I'll tell you what, the flowers don't half bloom!!!! lol.
Let your anguish out Dragona. That's your humanity. But do not let it take you over. We always remember the good times.
God bless and be strong.

I'm so sorry to hear about your little cat. And thanks for that lovely post full of wisdom and also optimism.Take care.

junkyarddog

dragona wrote: »

I received Judy's ashes back today.

I'm so upset, I can't believe that's all that's left of her. I'm totally bereft.

I'm not religious in any way shape or form, but I so wish I was. I would like the comfort of knowing I'll be with her again.

Not to be. I would give everything to have her back.

How are you now?

I still miss my dog very much,but I do remember the good times very fondly,and I'm so glad she found me.

ILoveYourVibes

Im really sorry op.

dragona

junkyarddog wrote: »

How are you now?

I still miss my dog very much,but I do remember the good times very fondly,and I'm so glad she found me.

Thank you. There is not a minute of every day that I don't think of her. I miss her more than I can put into words. Desperately. .My life is not the same without her, I miss her scent, her company, her joy,her face, her comfort, her warm little body pressed next to mine.I think of her constantly. The only thing I can be grateful for is that she had no suffering. But I am, and I know that is the price we have to pay.

I can cry and cry, but I will never have her back.It is not getting any easier, but thank you for asking and thinking of me.

acequion

dragona wrote: »

Thank you. There is not a minute of every day that I don't think of her. I miss her more than I can put into words. Desperately. .My life is not the same without her, I miss her scent, her company, her joy,her face, her comfort, her warm little body pressed next to mine.I think of her constantly. The only thing I can be grateful for is that she had no suffering. But I am, and I know that is the price we have to pay.

I can cry and cry, but I will never have her back.It is not getting any easier, but thank you for asking and thinking of me.

I think of you a lot dragona, always hoping you're ok. I adore my little cat, who I miss hugely as I'm away at the moment. And know that I won't have her forever. Nothing ever lasts forever.

Mind yourself hon. xx

anewme

Dragona, your posts about Judy and your love for her clearly resonated with a lot of people. I have been thinking about you as well. You have a lot going on and I really hope you are managing.

dragona

anewme wrote: »

Dragona, your posts about Judy and your love for her clearly resonated with a lot of people. I have been thinking about you as well. You have a lot going on and I really hope you are managing.

Thank you x

Graces7

dragona wrote: »

Thank you. There is not a minute of every day that I don't think of her. I miss her more than I can put into words. Desperately. .My life is not the same without her, I miss her scent, her company, her joy,her face, her comfort, her warm little body pressed next to mine.I think of her constantly. The only thing I can be grateful for is that she had no suffering. But I am, and I know that is the price we have to pay.

I can cry and cry, but I will never have her back.It is not getting any easier, but thank you for asking and thinking of me.

with so much love to feel and give, it seems sad not to share it with another dog who needs that desperately.
In loving memory of and tribute to your lost dog? She is gone but the love never dies.

Love is far far more than an emotion.It needs a point. a giving to need. It would heal you. The 3 young street cats I took in when I lost my dog and a cat the same weekend have taught me that. Caring for them, loving them has healed and restored. There is laughter and joy here again. Your dog loved you; would hate that you are unhappy; would give you that gift through other, needy dog. I will never forgt my dog and cats; but love them enough to let them go now. They live in my heart for ever. I could still weep for them. Easily. But let these needy ones comfort me as they do with their need and their loving.

Taiga

Oh Dragona, I so understand what you're going through. We got Maccy's ashes back a couple of weeks ago and it just doesn't seem to be easing. It's those moments when it hits you that you will never see them again. I think of him as he suffered and it rips my heart out. All so heartbroken here.
I said I'd never get another dog but I did, 3 weeks after he went. I figured a puppy would take all of our time and effort while taking us back to the wonderful times of Mac before he got sick. And boy is he keeping us busy! This little fella will never know how much he's helping us. Like Mac, he's a rescue and we feel Mac's passing has given another little soul in need a chance of a loving home.
I haven't read all of your thread, I can't bear to. It's so very raw still, he's gone almost 6 weeks.
I'm thinking of you and so very sorry you're going through this. Take strength and comfort from the words of the other posters and know you are so not alone.xxx

acequion

Our little furry friends touch us deeply. I'm away at the moment but my very elderly mother [88] lives next door and looking after my cat revitalizes her.

Mum, poor dear, has chronic arthritis and therefore chronic pain, but the love of the little cat is helping her enormously. As I like to text to friends, mum n kitty are "very loved up." It's just so sweet.

So dragona don't overlook the love that a new little furry friend might bring into your life.xx

Rubberchikken

i lost my little fella, a corgi (18 Years old), 15 years aho.
there isnt a day i dont think of him. not a week goes by without mentioning him and his antics which kept us entertained all his life.

animals are so special and for me always hold a very special pkace in my heart.
our pets mean the world to our family and not only bless us with their love but enrich our lives beyobd words.

op im so very sorry for your loss and feel your pain.
i pray the pain will lessen with each day and the memories stay strong.

Graces7

Taiga wrote: »

Oh Dragona, I so understand what you're going through. We got Maccy's ashes back a couple of weeks ago and it just doesn't seem to be easing. It's those moments when it hits you that you will never see them again. I think of him as he suffered and it rips my heart out. All so heartbroken here.
I said I'd never get another dog but I did, 3 weeks after he went. I figured a puppy would take all of our time and effort while taking us back to the wonderful times of Mac before he got sick. And boy is he keeping us busy! This little fella will never know how much he's helping us. Like Mac, he's a rescue and we feel Mac's passing has given another little soul in need a chance of a loving home.
I haven't read all of your thread, I can't bear to. It's so very raw still, he's gone almost 6 weeks.
I'm thinking of you and so very sorry you're going through this. Take strength and comfort from the words of the other posters and know you are so not alone.xxx

resonating with this and as you know I could not read YOUR thread. I wish I could get another dog as there are so many in shelters needing us. but my mobility is lessening all the time now ( nearly 80) and it would be so wrong. The cats keep me very busy and they follow me everywhere so it get s like 5 small dogs when I walk ....