Trying to write something romantic on a card

Mister Vain · 14-02-2019 2:37pm #1

Im dreadful at this sort of thing. Any ideas? Nothing too cheesy.

Genghis Cant · 14-02-2019 2:44pm

Mister Vain wrote: »

Im dreadful at this sort of thing. Any ideas? Nothing too cheesy.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'd rather your sister,
But I'm stuck with you?

Beta Ray Bill · 14-02-2019 2:45pm

Roses are red
Violets are blue,
Give me head,
Cause I love you?

Feisar · 14-02-2019 2:46pm

I got one from herself about duct tape, wouldn't go down well in these parts!

MonkeyTennis · 14-02-2019 2:52pm

If you go to bed with me I'll give you my netflix password .. deal?

Icaras · 14-02-2019 2:54pm

Anal?

jimgoose · 14-02-2019 2:54pm

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Some people can
Write good rhyming verse in perfect iambic pentameter,
But I can't. Get yer knickers off.

BuboBubo · 14-02-2019 2:55pm

Roses are red
Violets are glorious
Don't turn your back
On Oscar Pistorius

14-02-2019 2:57pm

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'd love the ride
But you are a poo.

Greg81 · 14-02-2019 2:58pm

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Vodka is cheaper,
Than dinner For Two

Roses are red,
Violets are glorious,
Never Surprise,
Oscar Pistorius

Roses are gray,
Violets are grayer,
F**k this poem,
Listen to Slayer

pleas advice · 14-02-2019 3:02pm

I know what I want, and I want it now.
I want you

retro:electro · 14-02-2019 3:03pm

jimgoose wrote: »

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Some people can
Write good rhyming verse in perfect iambic pentameter,
But I can't. Get yer knickers off.

Genuine lol

Boom_Bap · 14-02-2019 3:03pm

I suppose a ride's out of the question?

fryup · 14-02-2019 3:04pm

"apples be ripe
nuts be brown
petticoats up
trousers down"

rgodard80a · 14-02-2019 3:04pm

Mister Vain wrote: »

Im dreadful at this sort of thing. Any ideas? Nothing too cheesy.

"My words are inadequate to express how I feel about you"

Doesn't commit to anything :pac:

retro:electro · 14-02-2019 3:04pm

Roses are red
And you are a ride
Can I tickle your bellybutton
From the inside

jimgoose · 14-02-2019 3:05pm

retro:electro wrote: »

Roses are red
And you are a ride
Can I tickle your bellybutton
From the inside

:pac::pac::pac:

votecounts · 14-02-2019 3:05pm

Do you ride?
If so, love you

corner of hells · 14-02-2019 3:07pm

Violets are blue ,
Roses are red ,
I'm off out with lads,
You're sleeping in the shed.

Deebles McBeebles · 14-02-2019 3:08pm

Violets are red
Roses are blue
I think I might be having a seizure.

MonkieSocks · 14-02-2019 3:09pm

For the past 20 years I've received a Valentine's card from a secret Admirer.

I was gutted not to get one this year!

First my Gran dies, now this!

Plumbthedepths · 14-02-2019 3:10pm

Roses are sh*t,
Violets are poo,
I have tourettes,
C*nt, w*nk
F*ck you

fxotoole · 14-02-2019 3:12pm

Roses are red
Violets are blue
For this poem, I consulted Boards
And this is the best they could do

rgodard80a · 14-02-2019 3:16pm

rgodard80a wrote: »

"My words are inadequate to express how I feel about you"

Doesn't commit to anything :pac:

Actually that can be shoehorned into the poem..

Roses are red,
violets are blue,
my words are inadequate
to express how I feel about you.

jimgoose · 14-02-2019 3:18pm

Roses are grey,
Violets are too,
Because I'm a dog, for Christ's sake,
What am I doing trying to write stupid Valentine's Day poems??
Woof!!

14-02-2019 3:26pm

Violets are blue
And roses are red
I’ve got a stiffy
Let’s go to bed

Lorelli! · 14-02-2019 3:31pm

Asking for advice for that on here op is like an equivalent of when Alfalfa got his mates to deliver his love letter to Darla! It won't be good

lurker2000 · 14-02-2019 3:32pm

If she's a country girl:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I've got road frontage
How about you?

Or from the heart

Roses are red
Violets are blue
My life only began
When I met you x

retro:electro · 14-02-2019 3:39pm

Roses are red
You’re great in the sack
Can I pound your vagina
Like I’m Liam Neeson and you’re black

rgodard80a · 14-02-2019 3:47pm

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'd go halves on a morning after pill
If I could cum inside of you

mariaalice · 14-02-2019 3:55pm

There is no uncheesy way of doing writing something like that unless you are an actual poet, so why not quote a poet who said it so well.

I like this.

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

William Butler Yeats

The Tetrarch · 14-02-2019 3:55pm

I'm a billionaire.

jimgoose · 14-02-2019 3:58pm

Writing love poems,
I have now mastered.
Let us go halves
On our own little bastard!

mariaalice · 14-02-2019 3:58pm

Or this.

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh ... And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new.”
― e.e. cummings

D3V!L · 14-02-2019 4:02pm

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a knife,
Now get in the van.

Deebles McBeebles · 14-02-2019 4:03pm

mariaalice wrote: »

There is no uncheesy way of doing writing something like that unless you are an actual poet, so why not quote a poet who said it so well.

I like this.

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

William Butler Yeats

Beautiful. Wonder what it says about me that I instantly thought of my recently deceased dog rather than my OH.

mariaalice · 14-02-2019 4:09pm

D3V!L wrote: »

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a knife,
Now get in the van.

Or a little note saying "I have decided to drop the Rohypnol as you appear to be staying around"

uch · 14-02-2019 4:19pm

Roses are Red
Violets are Bluer
Don't come to close
Cause I smell like a sewer

Gannicus · 14-02-2019 4:20pm

"Roses are black,
Violets are black,
Everything is black,
I can't see"

-Stevie Wonder

theteal · 14-02-2019 4:24pm

Eemmm, isn't the text already on the card? That's what you pay for?

Just sign the thing, rub it off your crotch and then open it again pretending to look surprised