Seemingly innocent questions during interviews to catch people off guard

Epic Eir Epic

Epic Eir Epic wrote:

How I know it was a straight question was the way it was phrased. I already explained how I felt coerced into giving a certain answer.

Epic Eir Epic wrote:

I wasn't disputing any of that Mr oh so perfect. I'm saying you have to be on guard.

Epic Eir Epic wrote:

It was very sly of her, and they lost a good employee because of her false conclusion, so it's really their loss.

Epic Eir Epic wrote:

Drugs aren't that common. What part of the ghetto are you from?

You honestly sound like a terrible work colleague and any prospective employer should be delighted that they don't have to deal with you.

I can't think of anything worse than spending 8 hours a day in the company of someone who would speak the way you do.

Best advice I can give (without fear of infraction) would be to grow up and take some accountability

893bet

The drink has the OP paranoid!

The FEAR!

bucketybuck

Based on the OP's posts, I am utterly shocked that he or she was not offered the job.

Epic Eir Epic

Deleted User wrote: »

You honestly sound like a terrible work colleague and any prospective employer should be delighted that they don't have to deal with you.

I can't think of anything worse than spending 8 hours a day in the company of someone who would speak the way you do.

Best advice I can give (without fear of infraction) would be to grow up and take some accountability

That was a low blow.

Snipp

You showed up late because the place was hard to find? You have a lot to learn.

Epic Eir Epic

Snipp wrote: »

You showed up late because the place was hard to find? You have a lot to learn.

Okay then Mr oh so perfect. Thanks for echoing the words of other posters. I'll go and learn that.

And before you say it, no I don't talk to people this way in interviews.

kippy

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Nothing innocent about 'you must have had a mad time, yeah?' or any such leading question. It's unprofessional, sneaky and narrow minded. As OP has pointed out, a 'mad time' can mean different things to different people. To him it could mean meeting new people and having the odd pint, or travelling around and seeing amazing sights. To others here, it clearly means partying all the time and taking drugs. Which is why it has no place in a job interview.

Why answer yes then?
Whether it has a place in a job interview is completely irrelevant.

Epic Eir Epic

kippy wrote: »

Why answer yes then?
Whether it has a place in a job interview is completely irrelevant.

Because it's human nature to answer a leading question with a yes if you are distracted. Especially when one goes into an obliging state during an interview.

kippy

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Only because so many people fail to grasp OP's very valid point.

It's an interview. He's nervous, he's already got something in his mind he's about to say, and she blindsides him with a question about his personal life disguised as small talk. He'd just gone 'yeah' without even properly realising what she was asking. It's absolutely manipulative and underhand. I would not think highly of someone who used this 'technique'.

Look I don't think it was intentional but surely you can see the flags you've raised there yourself?
In your daily work life you often get 'blindsided' by various bits and pieces and indeed people s personal lives are tied in with work. If you get answer something without realising what you've been asked, more the fool you.

kippy

Epic Eir Epic wrote: »

Because it's human nature to answer a leading question with a yes if you are distracted. Especially when one goes into an obliging state during an interview.

So you were distracted, obliging, confused and nervous all at once.
Fair enough. It happens. Shake it off and move on.

Naos

Epic Eir Epic wrote: »

Has anyone come across this sort?

yeah

lainey_d_123

kippy wrote: »

Look I don't think it was intentional but surely you can see the flags you've raised there yourself?
In your daily work life you often get 'blindsided' by various bits and pieces and indeed people s personal lives are tied in with work. If you get answer something without realising what you've been asked, more the fool you.

No, I'm not a fool, thanks. I am on the autistic spectrum and life is a struggle at the best of times. I don't appreciate mind games like that. I think even a lot of neurotypical people would fall into that trap. It's fcking weird that you all seem to think that interviews are supposed to be mind games and traps. I've interviewed people myself and I never would have dreamed of going on like that. It smacks of unprofessional bullsh1t, like something they've read online is a great way to 'catch people out'. As I've already said, it just shows the interviews narrow mindedness. If someone asked me if I'd had a 'crazy time', I might well say yes, thinking of MY idea of a crazy time, which has nothing to do with drugs or drink. If they didn't offer me the job because of the assumption I'm some drug taking party animal, more fool THEM.

kippy

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

No, I'm not a fool, thanks. I am on the autistic spectrum and life is a struggle at the best of times. I don't appreciate mind games like that. I think even a lot of neurotypical people would fall into that trap. It's fcking weird that you all seem to think that interviews are supposed to be mind games and traps. I've interviewed people myself and I never would have dreamed of going on like that. It smacks of unprofessional bullsh1t, like something they've read online is a great way to 'catch people out'. As I've already said, it just shows the interviews narrow mindedness. If someone asked me if I'd had a 'crazy time', I might well say yes, thinking of MY idea of a crazy time, which has nothing to do with drugs or drink. If they didn't offer me the job because of the assumption I'm some drug taking party animal, more fool THEM.

Look, I don't really know you or your background so if you have issues with certain things, apologies for offending you, however,
do you think answering something without knowing what you've been asked is generally a good way to go about life? Because that's the standpoint you appear to have.
Surely the logical thing to do is seek clarity in the question?

lainey_d_123

kippy wrote: »

Look, I don't really know you or your background so if you have issues with certain things, apologies for offending you, however,
do you think answering something without knowing what you've been asked is generally a good way to go about life? Because that's the standpoint you appear to have.
Surely the logical thing to do is seek clarity in the question?

But it doesn't come across as an actual interview question. That's the point. It's designed to look like small talk and throw people off guard. Where it fails, and the reason it's a pathetic 'tactic', is that there are a hell of a lot of people who will agree with a seemingly innocent statement like that to appear likeable, to fit in with the company culture or simply because they're focused on what they see is the important stuff in their head. It's human nature to agree with leading questions, which is precisely why they're not allowed in court. I honestly don't know what's so hard to understand here. It's an underhand, sneaky tactic which doesn't even really work.

If someone says 'it's a nice day, isn't it?', 99% of people will say 'yes' because it's a leading question. It would actually look weird and contrary to disagree. So if someone is standing in front of you saying 'oh, I wish I'd done a J1, bet that was mad, was it?' your instinct is to agree. Least of all because you don't want to look like you didn't appreciate it when this person seems to regret not doing one. It's such an irrelevant, unimportant detail that most normal people would not even stop to consider that it's a trap. And it especially disadvantages people who are not neurotypical and people with conditions like social anxiety, who already have a hard time fitting in.

It's just a sh1tty thing to do.

El Tarangu

Bit of a leading question, alright.

But tbh I probably wouldn't hire someone who did could not come up with a vague, non-committal answer ('Ah sure, you know yourself') to a mildly tricky question.

kippy

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

But it doesn't come across as an actual interview question. That's the point. It's designed to look like small talk and throw people off guard. Where it fails, and the reason it's a pathetic 'tactic', is that there are a hell of a lot of people who will agree with a seemingly innocent statement like that to appear likeable, to fit in with the company culture or simply because they're focused on what they see is the important stuff in their head. It's human nature to agree with leading questions, which is precisely why they're not allowed in court. I honestly don't know what's so hard to understand here. It's an underhand, sneaky tactic which doesn't even really work.

If someone says 'it's a nice day, isn't it?', 99% of people will say 'yes' because it's a leading question. It would actually look weird and contrary to disagree. So if someone is standing in front of you saying 'oh, I wish I'd done a J1, bet that was mad, was it?' your instinct is to agree. Least of all because you don't want to look like you didn't appreciate it when this person seems to regret not doing one. It's such an irrelevant, unimportant detail that most normal people would not even stop to consider that it's a trap. And it especially disadvantages people who are not neurotypical and people with conditions like social anxiety, who already have a hard time fitting in.

It's just a sh1tty thing to do.

You need to read over what you are saying there and I don't mean to be offensive and I'll clarify - if there are people out there with social anxiety (and I know there are) it's very likely some employers tend not to want to employ them - again depending on the job role and various other factors. This is why interviews happen.


I'm not sure where you are getting "leading questions are not allowed in court" - I am not a solicitor nor do I spend any time in court, but I believe leading questions are allowed in court - again dependent on the circumstances.

slavetothegrind

the answer to the "bit of a mad one was it" is obvious in an interview situation.
How can you not think all of it is an inquisition?
It is all to get an insight into your character, if you got an interview you are qualified.
The real interview is to see if you fit or not.

This is also where you evaluate the employer and see if their ethos is something you can be a part of.

lainey D 123 i appreciate your standpoint and i don't really have an answer. If you cannot ask "sneaky" questions well then what is the point of an interview? What if the job requires an ability to read people and understand the very tactics employed in the interview?

3DataModem

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

N I don't appreciate mind games like that. I think even a lot of neurotypical people would fall into that trap.

You see interviews as some sort of adversarial situation. They are not. I have read your posts, and yes of course people ask weird stuff (sometimes on purpose and sometimes by accident) but believing that this is some sort of 'trap' is just victimhood and not grounded in reality.

lainey_d_123

slavetothegrind wrote: »

the answer to the "bit of a mad one was it" is obvious in an interview situation.
How can you not think all of it is an inquisition?
It is all to get an insight into your character, if you got an interview you are qualified.
The real interview is to see if you fit or not.

This is also where you evaluate the employer and see if their ethos is something you can be a part of.

lainey D 123 i appreciate your standpoint and i don't really have an answer. If you cannot ask "sneaky" questions well then what is the point of an interview? What if the job requires an ability to read people and understand the very tactics employed in the interview?

The point of an interview is to get to know the person. You can do that perfectly well without asking sneaky questions.

You'd have to be a bit twisted to judge someone based on what they did on their J1. So what if it was a 'bit of a mad one'? Are people not allowed to have fun now? How does going a bit mad on probably your last real chance to live like a student before you have to grow up reflect on your character in any way? What if you went to an interview and they asked if you were out at the weekend. You're supposed to say 'no, I sat in and watched a film with the ma and da' in case they think you're a druggie?

lainey_d_123

3DataModem wrote: »

You see interviews as some sort of adversarial situation. They are not. I have read your posts, and yes of course people ask weird stuff (sometimes on purpose and sometimes by accident) but believing that this is some sort of 'trap' is just victimhood and not grounded in reality.

It IS a trap. There's no other reason to ask it other than if they were genuinely wanting to know if you enjoyed your J1 (which is how I would take it, so you're totally wrong about your 'victim' opinion). Of course being asked small talk questions which are actually designed to see what you say and judge you on your response is an 'adversarial situation'.

And as I've already stated, answering 'yes' to this question isn't necessarily a red flag for everyone. I was asked in an interview if I drink alcohol and the 'correct' answer was yes. Someone who was worried it was a trap would have said no and not been invited back to the second round. And most likely they DID drink, they just didn't want to look like an alco to the employer when in fact the employer was looking for someone to get p1ssed with every Friday. So as a screening question, it totally fails.

These questions simply do not belong in interviews.

Avatar MIA

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Maybe you're not aware, but there is a known troll who regularly posts in Work & Jobs. His accounts are constantly banned.

Major clue is the regular and bizarre reference to PUA.

Anyway, ignoring the OP, but for other posters... Within not too many years a company will have invested several hundred thousand Euro in a new employee, and a major part of that investment decision for many companies is an hour long interview which the candidate will have rehearsed and prepared for. Being inventive in questioning, as long as legal, is the least they should do.

kippy

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

It IS a trap. There's no other reason to ask it other than if they were genuinely wanting to know if you enjoyed your J1 (which is how I would take it, so you're totally wrong about your 'victim' opinion). Of course being asked small talk questions which are actually designed to see what you say and judge you on your response is an 'adversarial situation'.

And as I've already stated, answering 'yes' to this question isn't necessarily a red flag for everyone. I was asked in an interview if I drink alcohol and the 'correct' answer was yes. Someone who was worried it was a trap would have said no and not been invited back to the second round. And most likely they DID drink, they just didn't want to look like an alco to the employer when in fact the employer was looking for someone to get p1ssed with every Friday. So as a screening question, it totally fails.

These questions simply do not belong in interviews.

What are you gonna do about it though? Lots of different types of questions come up in interviews - you need to be able put your best foot forward at all times. Simply agreeing with an interviewer on something like "being out partying all the time" is very obviously a silly stance to take.
Next time the OP ends up in a position where they are confused about the question they seek clarity.

There are lots of things in the world that are outside ones control (such as the types of questions that come up in interviews) - raging at the world over these things is pretty pointless. One needs to learn and move on.

Heckler

I'm the worst interviewee in the world but I'm, all modesty aside, brilliant at my job. If I had to leave my current job and find another I would be hard pressed to impress a potential employer through an interview.

If any potential employer spent a day watching me actually do my job I'd be hired on the spot.

Interviews can lead to employers missing out on very beneficial employees because they don't fit a certain criteria or tick a few certain boxes.

Epic Eir Epic

Epic Eir Epic wrote:

That was a low blow.

No. It was honest

Epic Eir Epic

El Tarangu wrote: »

Bit of a leading question, alright.

But tbh I probably wouldn't hire someone who did could not come up with a vague, non-committal answer ('Ah sure, you know yourself') to a mildly tricky question.

It's a more important life lesson than hearing "oh you need to research the company" a hundred times over.

Epic Eir Epic

kippy wrote: »

So you were distracted, obliging, confused and nervous all at once.
Fair enough. It happens. Shake it off and move on.

Was that so hard to say?

Epic Eir Epic

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

It's fcking weird that you all seem to think that interviews are supposed to be mind games and traps. I've interviewed people myself and I never would have dreamed of going on like that. It smacks of unprofessional bullsh1t, like something they've read online is a great way to 'catch people out'.

I know, I'd prefer if somebody beat me up. At least that way I could take them to court. But with this, you just have to bottle it up. Sly little b1tches.

Epic Eir Epic

kippy wrote: »

Next time the OP ends up in a position where they are confused about the question they seek clarity.

Which of these 3 options would you take for an answer?

Sly interviewer: "I bet you crazy wild? did you?"

1. "I'm sorry, what do you mean by 'crazy'?"
2. "No I did not go crazy"
3. "Ah sure, you know yourself"
4. jokingly say "you bet I went crazy, do you? Do I come across as the crazy sort?"

RedXIV

Interviews are tough, but it'd be naive to think that there aren't methods used to gather information beyond "What is the answer to this very obvious question".

As said in the thread, the big thing for a lot of people when interviewing is "would I like to work with this person?" and you get the best sense of that from the small talk I find. Having done lots of interviews in my time, the few minutes before and after an interview are incredibly insightful into the character of the person you are dealing with as they are out of "interview" mode.

This doesn't mean that casual or enthusiastic answers are bad, your personality is on display to an interviewer, and one with experience will get a good sense of you anyway, so saying you're going on a holiday before starting would be fine, but again, key skill to pick up from this is learning what you can say casually to sell yourself as well as learning what to say in the actual interview.

P.S. I've been in at least one interview where we had a capable candidate but constant references to going on the lash cost him the job simply because we had multiple candidates to choose from.

Epic Eir Epic

RedXIV wrote: »

P.S. I've been in at least one interview where we had a capable candidate but constant references to going on the lash cost him the job simply because we had multiple candidates to choose from.

Gee he must be a hundred times stupider than me so!

kippy

Heckler wrote: »

I'm the worst interviewee in the world but I'm, all modesty aside, brilliant at my job. If I had to leave my current job and find another I would be hard pressed to impress a potential employer through an interview.

If any potential employer spent a day watching me actually do my job I'd be hired on the spot.

Interviews can lead to employers missing out on very beneficial employees because they don't fit a certain criteria or tick a few certain boxes.

I don't dispute that.

kippy

Epic Eir Epic wrote: »

Which of these 3 options would you take for an answer?

Sly interviewer: "I bet you crazy wild? did you?"

1. "I'm sorry, what do you mean by 'crazy'?"
2. "No I did not go crazy"
3. "Ah sure, you know yourself"

I'd prefer the first tbh but others might prefer the third.

Epic Eir Epic

kippy wrote: »

I'd prefer the first tbh but others might prefer the third.

I think I prefer the third, because your dodging the question.

But with the first, it should be obvious that the interviewer doesn't even know what she means by crazy herself - she's just tossing something at you to see how you'll respond (i.e, a sh1t test). So if you answered that way, it'd be as if you were pointing out that you know she's trying to bait you!

Then she could follow up by saying "if you know I'm such a b1tch, then why do you want to work with me?"

skallywag

Epic Eir Epic wrote: »

It was very sly of her...

Was she being sly or not? I guess it's hard to tell to be honest. Perhaps she was just dropping something informal into the interview, I would often do so myself. When I am interviewing I will cover quite a lot of 'non-technical' / 'non-project' type content, not just to make the candidate more at ease, but more to get a real feeling for what this person is like as a person, and what they are going to be like to work with. That said, maybe she was indeed trying to bait you, there are some people who will act in such a way when interviewing, I've seen this first hand myself.

Epic Eir Epic wrote: »

...and they lost a good employee because of her false conclusion, so it's really their loss.

Even assuming that you have been hard done by during the interview, the comment above is something that I would expect from a petulant teenager.

You're going to encounter a lot of things which you do not like within your professional life, and you need to be able to handle them without throwing your toys out of the pram. The same I would say of some other comments you have made on this thread.

Epic Eir Epic

skallywag wrote: »

Even assuming that you have been hard done by during the interview, the comment above is something that I would expect from a petulant teenager.

You're going to encounter a lot of things which you do not like within your professional life, and you need to be able to handle them without throwing your toys out of the pram. The same I would say of some other comments you have made on this thread.

Why not tell me which option you'd take? 1, 2 or 3?

SusieBlue

That question would have been an excellent opportunity to answer with "Well I enjoyed myself for sure, but I spent most of my time there at the beach/visiting local famous attractions, namely ___/taking in the culture".

You could have changed the entire tone of the conversation and also made yourself more memorable by discussing your travels. I bet if you had answered in a similar fashion to that, the subsequent question about being a party animal would never have arose.

Honestly I don't understand what possessed you to say Yes to those questions. But you did and its done and all you can do now is ensure you never make that mistake again.

Epic Eir Epic

SusieBlue wrote: »

That question would have been an excellent opportunity to answer with "Well I enjoyed myself for sure, but I spent most of my time there at the beach/visiting local famous attractions, namely ___/taking in the culture".

It's just a sh1t test. I know I failed it, but neither I didn't need to give such a long answer to pass it. The interview had already side tracked enough at that point, and one doesn't want to talk too much about irrelevant stuff.

kippy

Epic Eir Epic wrote: »

It's just a sh1t test. I know I failed it, but neither I didn't need to give such a long answer to pass it. The interview had already side tracked enough at that point, and one doesn't want to talk too much about irrelevant stuff.

Turns out it was pretty relevant.
Lesson learned hopefully.

SusieBlue

Epic Eir Epic wrote: »

It's just a sh1t test. I know I failed it, but neither I didn't need to give such a long answer to pass it. The interview had already side tracked enough at that point, and one doesn't want to talk too much about irrelevant stuff.

She was probably using it as an opportunity to assess how you'd answer an awkward question.

Truth be told, she 100% knew regardless of your answer that you probably spent most of your J1 on the sesh.
The point of the question was not to catch you out, but to see how you handled it.
She wasn't side tracking, or intentionally bringing up irrelevant stuff, and she sure as hell didn't give a damn about how much you drank during your summer abroad.
She was seeing how you responded to a loaded question in a stressful situation.

Many interviewers use this tactic.

s7ryf3925pivug

Dunno about trick questions, but I’ve had dishonest feedback. I know this because I found out the real internal feedback afterwards. It was upsetting because it all related to autistic traits irrelevant to the job, and I had impressed all the technical people.

razorblunt

I had that drinking question go the other way too, I interviewed for a job last summer and they said "and you'll be delighted to know there's a drink trolley every Friday" towards the end of the interview. I replied with "I don't drink", I actually do but at the time finishing training for a half marathon and took 6 weeks off it, the words came out wrong as I was going to say "I don't drink at the moment" but I caught myself in case they thought I had some issues with self control or whatever.

It all got very awkward as they then panicked thinking I was offended (Irish, working abroad) and I could see the "ah fcuk, we have a HR disaster here" look on their faces.

witchgirl26

OP - they weren't being sly but they did ask you a straight question to which you gave an unfortunate answer. If they'd ask anything else would you have answered anything that you thought they wanted to hear? The point of the interview is to be honest. If I was asked that about a J1 my response would have been "I had some good nights out all right but what I really loved was the chance to live away from home and see another country". Same with the 3 weeks off - "To be honest I've been enjoying the down time to catch up with reading/friends/going to cinema before the next semester starts". You *don't* have to agree with them by saying "yeah" just because you think that's where they were leading with the question. A skill to learn is to lead the interview in the direction you want. Use their questions to present yourself positively and well no matter what. Turn the question around if needs be.

Look they may have caught you off guard, fair enough but you need to accept that it was your responses that cost you the job.

And as for being late - it's a real no-no. I will always google map street view the interview location a couple of days in advance to know exactly where I'm going. If it looks like I'm going to be late, I'll ring the reception and let them know and apologise. I've had an interviewer be 20 minutes late for an interview with me (no apology) and that tainted my view of the company so I didn't accept the offer when it came.

Epic Eir Epic

razorblunt wrote: »

I had that drinking question go the other way too, I interviewed for a job last summer and they said "and you'll be delighted to know there's a drink trolley every Friday" towards the end of the interview. I replied with "I don't drink", I actually do but at the time finishing training for a half marathon and took 6 weeks off it, the words came out wrong as I was going to say "I don't drink at the moment" but I caught myself in case they thought I had some issues with self control or whatever.

You mean they give out alcohol at work? What? If they said that to me I would've wondered was that a joke! What sort of age were these? and what kind of company.

It might have been best to just respond with a smile and say nothing. You never know what some people consider the right answer to sh1t test to be!

razorblunt wrote: »

I caught myself in case they thought I had some issues with self control or whatever.

Life can be so hard when you don't fit the typical stereotypes.

Epic Eir Epic

Bobby Shy Gauze wrote: »

Dunno about trick questions, but I’ve had dishonest feedback. I know this because I found out the real internal feedback afterwards. It was upsetting because it all related to autistic traits irrelevant to the job, and I had impressed all the technical people.

Lying c*nts. I bet their feedback would probably lead you down the wrong track anyway.

I'd be bloody interested how you managed to find out the honest feedback anyway.

Epic Eir Epic

witchgirl26 wrote: »

And as for being late - it's a real no-no. I will always google map street view the interview location a couple of days in advance to know exactly where I'm going. If it looks like I'm going to be late, I'll ring the reception and let them know and apologise. I've had an interviewer be 20 minutes late for an interview with me (no apology) and that tainted my view of the company so I didn't accept the offer when it came.

Well that's interesting because (in the first situation I've described in the OP) these two ladies were about 15 minutes late for interviewing me with no apology. I've had a tainted view of the company from day one actually, in spite of their various awards. But I still can't afford to turn down such interviews.

Get Real

You say they're questions that are there to catch you off guard. But also say you're not naive.

Yet you answered yes to both questions without thinking. I presume you have issue only because you got neither job?

Better luck next time. It's annoying alright, but realistically, nothing bizarre with those questions.

I would worry about your attitude though with regards to "screw them, they lost a great employee". If that's the case, and you're so great, why create this thread in the first place.

Surely you're very aware and talented, so will have no problem on your next shot.

witchgirl26

Epic Eir Epic wrote: »

Well that's interesting because (in the first situation I've described in the OP) these two ladies were about 15 minutes late for interviewing me with no apology. I've had a tainted view of the company from day one actually, in spite of their various awards. But I still can't afford to turn down such interviews.

You didn't mention that at all. You only mentioned you being late. For the one where you were late, perhaps the person interviewing you had got pulled into something when you weren't there and couldn't drop it.

Epic Eir Epic

Get Real wrote: »

You say they're questions that are there to catch you off guard. But also say you're not naive.

Don't be smart. There's difference between being naive and being able to dance fast. I realised it seconds after I said it. But I didn't want to dig a hole and say "oh I meant to say this to your baiting question". Anyway, now they probably think I'm autistic or something. Oh well.

Epic Eir Epic

witchgirl26 wrote: »

You didn't mention that at all. You only mentioned you being late.

No the time that I was late was in a completely different interview entirely. The time they (a different 'they') were late was the more recent interview when I wasn't late at all.

SusieBlue

Epic Eir Epic wrote: »

Don't be smart. There's difference between being naive and being able to dance fast. I realised it seconds after I said it. But I didn't want to dig a hole and say "oh I meant to say this to your baiting question". Anyway, now they probably think I'm autistic or something. Oh well.

I don't know how you expect anyone, least of all an employer, to take you seriously when you're going around making off hand highly offensive comments like that.

It shouldn't even have to be pointed out to you that saying things like that is unacceptable.

You seem to be determined to blame everyone but yourself, but if the attitude you display here is anything to go by, this is the least of your problems.