If a man wants a woman......

Wibbs

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

It must be hard not to be needed anymore, not to hold any power.

Wut? "Power"? What is God's name has power got to do with anything? You do realise that your mindset in this is not too far removed from the male eejits you so despise?

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

But how old was he then? Was it not more a factor of still being in his twenties? A lot of men don't even want to settle down until after 30.

He was 28. A few of his friends were interested in getting into a relationship at the time.

Anyway, my point was that I can’t see the harm in there being another socially-acceptable avenue to meet people and for many of my husband’s friends, it has worked out well. Online dating is no more of a meat market than the pub/club scene from what I can see.

My husband is glad that he’ll just be able to relax in the pub with his mates, knowing that it’s not the only way for him to meet somebody new. And that relaxed attitude might even help him meet somebody whilst out and about. I think it’s great!

Gimme A Pound

/\/ollog wrote: »

Oh, I was just replying to the idea of someone saying to someone else that causing harm is okay.
Maybe it's that he word misogynist has been overused as late.

But there are situations when it's seemingly okay to be an *, like making prison rape jokes or when a female teacher molests a male student, these situations are okay to make light of but only in those specific events, or society at large would have me believe.
Maybe I'm keeping the right and wrong crowd at the same time...

It's usually only men who crack those jokes about rape of men and the "nnnnnnice" thing.

lainey_d_123

Wibbs wrote: »

39 is "so old"? Jaysus luv it's not the Middle Ages. Never mind that you're not comparing like with like. I've known plenty of 25 year olds, men and women, who were a right state physically and plenty of 35 year olds, men and women who were anything but.

It's old when you're 23, yes. It's a completely different life stage and an entire generation removed. If you don't see that, you're not being honest with yourself. 23-year-olds are just five years into adulthood. 39 is nearly middle aged. When I was 23, my dad was just a few years older than that. And that's how I saw men around that age - like parents.

Ted Johnson

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

I couldn't give a flying fook what you think. I love how you misogynists think 'cat lady' is some massive insult. I'd way rather be chilling out with a glass of wine, a film and a cat than spending time with you. Some of the happiest, most chilled out women I know are single and middle aged, cats or not. Strange that, isn't it? I think you know that deep down and that's what scares you. It must be hard not to be needed anymore, not to hold any power.

But why does it bother you so much that men desire younger women? You can surely understand that?

Every woman in the world would chose Chris Hemsworth over me, but there's no point in me crying about that.

Gimme A Pound

givyjoe wrote: »

God, you're such a charmer.

Is what she's saying really so wrong though? And it gets said to women constantly.

Wibbs

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Anyway, my point was that I can’t see the harm in there being another socially-acceptable avenue to meet people and for many of my husband’s friends, it has worked out well. Online dating is no more of a meat market than the pub/club scene from what I can see..

+1. It seems to have seen an uptake across generations too, with only a few more old fashioned heads agin it. Wouldn't be for me personally, but I'm a) a luddite and b) not arsed with the hassle of dating/relationships at the moment.

lainey_d_123

Wibbs wrote: »

Wut? "Power"? What is God's name has power got to do with anything? You do realise that your mindset in this is not too far removed from the male eejits you so despise?

All of this is about power. Ever wondered why the type of men who say things like certain posters on this thread (about 'cat ladies' and the like) are also the type to speak disparagingly about lesbians? The idea of a woman choosing to be single and not spending her life desperately chasing a man and putting up with all sorts of things just to have one is absolutely terrifying for them.

Ted Johnson

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

All of this is about power. Ever wondered why the type of men who say things like certain posters on this thread (about 'cat ladies' and the like) are also the type to speak disparagingly about lesbians? The idea of a woman choosing to be single and not spending her life desperately chasing a man and putting up with all sorts of things just to have one is absolutely terrifying for them.

Feminism. Not even once.

wyf437gn6btzue

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

All of this is about power. Ever wondered why the type of men who say things like certain posters on this thread (about 'cat ladies' and the like) are also the type to speak disparagingly about lesbians? The idea of a woman choosing to be single and not spending her life desperately chasing a man and putting up with all sorts of things just to have one is absolutely terrifying for them.

I think the cat lady bit is a generalisation, just like the way you describe older men as bald and fat

Ariadne

Is there anything to be said for another mass orgy?

lainey_d_123

Ted Johnson wrote: »

But why does it bother you so much that men desire younger women? You can surely understand that?

Every woman in the world would chose Chris Hemsworth over me, but there's no point in me crying about that.

It doesn't bother me. It is a red flag for me. If I see that a man my age or older is looking to date women from 18 and up, I'm not interested. There are several reasons why a grown man would be looking to date someone 15+ years younger and barely an adult, and not one of them is good. Apps are actually a handy way to filter out these people.

Wibbs

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

All of this is about power. Ever wondered why the type of men who say things like certain posters on this thread (about 'cat ladies' and the like) are also the type to speak disparagingly about lesbians? The idea of a woman choosing to be single and not spending her life desperately chasing a man and putting up with all sorts of things just to have one is absolutely terrifying for them.

OoooooohKayyyy. Yeah, I'm getting a vibe here alright. Pretty much the same vibe I get from the guys going on about how women over a certain age are on the scrapheap. Bonus points if they add the stuff about how they were rejected as younger men, but have all the choices now(they almost certainly don't). Two sides of the same coin.

It has been my observation that men and women who have average normal success in dating and relationships in their lives and loves are not nearly so aggro about the opposite sex, or their own. Maybe just after a particularly bad breakup, but that's about it and it's usually a temporary madness. And as you noted yourself that aggro usually comes out in threads like this.

lainey_d_123

Melissa Colossal Grain wrote: »

I think the cat lady bit is a generalisation, just like the way you describe older men as bald and fat

Bald and fat aren't insults. They're descriptions. I don't know many men of nearly 40 who have the same looks and head of hair they had at 20, or the same energy.

'Cat lady' is just a way to make women feel afraid of being older and single.

Gimme A Pound

Ted Johnson wrote: »

But why does it bother you so much that men desire younger women? You can surely understand that?

Every woman in the world would chose Chris Hemsworth over me, but there's no point in me crying about that.

I think it's the insults that get to her, the pretence that women in their 30s and 40s are never ever attractive and no man is ever interested in them and they never meet any man, and the pretence that older guys are only exclusively interested in much younger women and always get them, and much younger women are always interested in them, and the denial that most people are with those the same age or close in age.

Also a lot of telling women what they think, and any single 30-something or 40-something woman is desperate (or a celibate frigid type - it varies according to whatever depiction suits!) Then there's the really warped outlook of "haha, bitches turned me down - now they can't get a man" which of course is only held by woman hating psychos.

But some guys simply preferring much younger women and just getting on with it and not claiming to speak for all men and not using it as currency to insult the women they don't fancy? No issue there. Perfectly reasonable.

Wibbs

Wibbs wrote: »

+1. It seems to have seen an uptake across generations too, with only a few more old fashioned heads agin it. Wouldn't be for me personally, but I'm a) a luddite and b) not arsed with the hassle of dating/relationships at the moment.

You're right about the generational thing. Some of my Mum's friends use it. They tried to get her to join but she looked sort of horrified and spat 'I'm married!' (she's been widowed for years)

It's a fantastic resource for people who've already been around the block and don't deal in nonsense, and particularly so in rural parts. Something to celebrate, not be embarrassed over.

Gimme A Pound

Wibbs wrote: »

OoooooohKayyyy. Yeah, I'm getting a vibe here alright. Pretty much the same vibe I get from the guys going on about how women over a certain age are on the scrapheap. Bonus points if they add the stuff about how they were rejected as younger men, but have all the choices now(they almost certainly don't). Two sides of the same coin.

It has been my observation that men and women who have average normal success in dating and relationships in their lives and loves are not nearly so aggro about the opposite sex, or their own. Maybe just after a particularly bad breakup, but that's about it and it's usually a temporary madness. And as you noted yourself that aggro usually comes out in threads like this.

I agree but I think Lainey has a point somewhat - when a guy gets obsessively bothered over a woman being single and having a cat... I mean why the actual **** would that bother someone? Fair enough to make jokes about it and be light-hearted. But actual anger? Jeez, get angry about actual things worth being angry about.

Wibbs

Mya Poor Greenery wrote: »

I agree but I think Lainey has a point somewhat - when a guy gets obsessively bothered over a woman being single and having a cat... I mean why the actual **** would that bother someone? Fair enough to make jokes about it and be light-hearted. But actual anger? Jeez, get angry about actual things worth being angry about.

Sure G, but you can say the same about a woman getting obsessively bothered over a man going for younger women. Two sides of the same "gender war" bitter bullshite in my humble.

Gimme A Pound

Wibbs wrote: »

Sure G, but you can say the same about a woman getting obsessively bothered over a man going for younger women. Two sides of the same "gender war" bitter bullshite in my humble.

It's not just the going for younger women - it's the insults and lies I outlined previously.

Whereas a woman being single in her 30s and 40s and having a cat has ZERO effect on anyone.

lainey_d_123

Mya Poor Greenery wrote: »

I think it's the insults that get to her, the pretence that women in their 30s and 40s are never ever attractive and no man is ever interested in them and they never meet any man, and the pretence that older guys are only exclusively interested in much younger women and always get them, and much younger women are always interested in them, and the denial that most people are with those the same age or close in age.

Also a lot of telling women what they think, and any single 30-something or 40-something woman is desperate (or a celibate frigid type - it varies according to whatever depiction suits!) Then there's the really warped outlook of "haha, bitches turned me down - now they can't get a man" which of course is only held by woman hating psychos.

But some guys simply preferring much younger women and just getting on with it and not claiming to speak for all men and not using it as currency to insult the women they don't fancy? No issue there. Perfectly reasonable.

Yes, you got it. 100%.

eviltwin

Mya Poor Greenery wrote: »

I agree but I think Lainey has a point somewhat - when a guy gets obsessively bothered over a woman being single and having a cat... I mean why the actual **** would that bother someone? Fair enough to make jokes about it and be light-hearted. But actual anger? Jeez, get angry about actual things worth being angry about.

The oddest one is when a guy comes onto you, you politely refuse because you're in a relationship and he reacts by telling you you're fat, ugly and he never wanted to hook up with you in the first place

Gimme A Pound

eviltwin wrote: »

The oddest one is when a guy comes onto you, you politely refuse because you're in a relationship and he reacts by telling you you're fat, ugly and he never wanted to hook up with you in the first place

What ****ing age are they?!

alexmalalex

eviltwin wrote: »

The oddest one is when a guy comes onto you, you politely refuse because you're in a relationship and he reacts by telling you you're fat, ugly and he never wanted to hook up with you in the first place

Ahh come on...that is a lie...

eviltwin

alexmalalex wrote: »

Ahh come on...that is a lie...

nope, it's happened to me once and I witnessed it happening to a friend. There's all sorts of oddballs out there.

Wibbs

alexmalalex wrote: »

Ahh come on...that is a lie...

On this one A, no, I've heard extremely similar down the years. Drink is usually a factor, but yeah, I've heard that kinda stuff. Ranging from the basic "fcuk off then!" to more descriptive language of why the guy wouldn't touch her with someone else's mickey. Never made sense to me, sober or drunk. I mean you've just put the move on her you muppet.

Zorya

Anyways the world is made up with people of every kind and every disposition. One of the last times I went out - a very rare occurence! - I had to let down a lovely wee lad who chatted me up by telling him I had children older than him :pac:

mrcheez

izzyflusky wrote: »

I think I'd feel quite scared if something like that happened to me. Also can't imagine a lot of men appreciating it (considering they seem to be taken aback when approached by a woman).

interesting... are some men taken aback when a woman approaches them?

As I mentioned earlier, most of the serious relationships I've been in have actually been instigated by the woman, but also for flings I've had a fair few instigated by the woman.

izzyflusky

mrcheez wrote: »

interesting... are some men taken aback when a woman approaches them?

As I mentioned earlier, most of the serious relationships I've been in have actually been instigated by the woman, but also for flings I've had a fair few instigated by the woman.

Apparently. I mentioned earlier that someone I know had been approached 3 times in his life and he was kicking himself because he took it as a joke and was a bit stand offish with them.

Also asked my OH and he said that he found it weird too and tended to be cautious at first, but in his case he did usually take the opportunity if he was attracted to them.

lainey_d_123

Soiree Bounty wrote: »

It does make sense, it's an ego defense mechanism, some people are very hurt by rejection, all logic goes out the the window.

It's similar when you see older women trying to denigrate 39 year old men who are bald and fat. The ego is lashing out and wants to hurt others for the pain felt for not being as attractive as they were in their twenties.

Hilarious. I couldn't give a fook if I'm attractive or not. Unlike you, I don't have a fragile ego built upon what people think about my outward appearance and nor do I fear rejection. Maybe you could try therapy or something.

Ted Johnson

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Hilarious. I couldn't give a fook if I'm attractive or not. Unlike you, I don't have a fragile ego built upon what people think about my outward appearance and nor do I fear rejection. Maybe you could try therapy or something.

Honestly, were you abused as a girl?

Feisar

Ted Johnson wrote: »

Honestly, were you abused as a girl?

Ah here, no need to go there.

Ted Johnson

Feisar wrote: »

Ah here, no need to go there.

It would explain a lot.

lainey_d_123

Ted Johnson wrote: »

Honestly, were you abused as a girl?

Is that another line from your PUA manual? You get more and more pathetic each time.

It really bothers you that women don't build their entire lives around what men think of them, doesn't it?

I mean, REALLY bothers you.

wyf437gn6btzue

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Hilarious. I couldn't give a fook if I'm attractive or not. Unlike you, I don't have a fragile ego built upon what people think about my outward appearance and nor do I fear rejection. Maybe you could try therapy or something.

you seem not to give a fook about much yet you just went on a 3 page rant vilifying men who want to ride younger women

eviltwin

Ted Johnson wrote: »

Honestly, were you abused as a girl?

fcuk sake that is really out of order, have a bit of respect

ginandtonicsky

Ted Johnson wrote: »

Honestly, were you abused as a girl?

Ted Johnson wrote: »

It would explain a lot.

LOLZ! Says Mr chore sex guy. The lunatic with 75,562 boards accounts espousing the same red pill shyte about women hating their husbands and doling out "chore sex" the second a dating thread opens around here. FOR YEARS.

More issues than a magazine stand Teddy!

Ted Johnson

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Is that another line from your PUA manual? You get more and more pathetic each time.

It really bothers you that women don't build their entire lives around what men think of them, doesn't it?

I mean, REALLY bothers you.

It would explain a lot about your issues with men. I'm sorry if that happened to you.

Im also sorry that my cat lady jibe upset you. I forget not everyone has a thick skin.

Feisar

Succubus_ wrote: »

Is there anything to be said for another mass orgy?

Username checks out!

You Ma'am win the internet. I read it as a mass orgy as in a massive one. The double entendre with Father Ted was golden.

mzungu

Ted Johnson wrote: »

It would explain a lot about your issues with men. I'm sorry if that happened to you.

Im also sorry that my cat lady jibe upset you. I forget not everyone has a thick skin.

Tell me. What exactly is the root of your (obvious) issues with women? Reregging thousands of times to post the exact same thing year in year out screams "man with big problems" to me.

All that PUA stuff you (and others) come out with sounds like cult member talk. Pretty much every generalisation you have made in this thread is not based in reality.

You would be doing yourself a big favour by stepping away from all that sort of stuff.

Pac1Man

Remember the last Boards orgy we had? I was the only one not wearing Uggs. Felt so self conscious.

Ted Johnson

mzungu wrote: »

Tell me. What exactly is the root of your (obvious) issues with women? Reregging thousands of times to post the exact same thing year in year out screams "man with big problems" to me.

All that PUA stuff you (and others) come out with sounds like cult member talk. Pretty much every generalisation you have made in this thread is not based in reality.

You would be doing yourself a big favour by stepping away from the RedPill stuff.

My only 'issue' is that I prefer younger women. Every so often I met one who likes me back. Happy days.

Also PUA is not some dangerous voodoo science. It boils down to improving yourself, stop viewing women as mythical creatures, and going out and having fun.

It would do a lot of men good to read up on it.

eviltwin

Ted Johnson wrote: »

My only 'issue' is that I prefer younger women. Every so often I met one who likes me back. Happy days.

Also PUA is not some dangerous voodoo science. It boils down to improving yourself, stop viewing women as mythical creatures, and going out and having fun.

It would do a lot of men good to read up on it.

Nothing wrong with that, we were all young and beautiful once and had our share of attention. Nothing lasts forever though.

I just don't understand why some men and women have to state their preferences while also dragging down those who don't meet it.

Just because someone doesn't meet the standard is no. reason to slag them off or talk about them like they have no value

mzungu

Ted Johnson wrote: »

My only 'issue' is that I prefer younger women. Every so often I met one who likes me back. Happy days.

Also PUA is not some dangerous voodoo science. It boils down to improving yourself, stop viewing women as mythical creatures, and going out and having fun.

It would do a lot of men good to read up on it.

Personally, I think PUA is utter waffle. I should get that out there from the start. I also don't care (nor does anybody) that you prefer younger women. Your business, not mine.

You say PUA is about "improving yourself" and to "stop viewing women as mythical creatures." Then why did you feel the need to denigrate women in their 30s and 40s pretty much from your initial post in this thread? That's insecurity, not self-improvement.

Ted Johnson

mzungu wrote: »

Personally, I think PUA is utter waffle. I should get that out there from the start. I also don't care (nor does anybody) that you prefer younger women. Your business, not mine.

You say PUA is about "improving yourself" and to "stop viewing women as mythical creatures." Then why did you feel the need to denigrate women in their 30s and 40s pretty much from your initial post in this thread? That's insecurity, not self-improvement.

It's not waffle though. Maybe you should reading some yourself? And I don't mean a Guardian tier review of the Mystery Method.

As for the Cat Ladies, well they exist. Are bitter single older women a protected class now?

Mister Vain

Wibbs wrote: »

the guy wouldn't touch her with someone else's mickey. Never made sense to me.

That one never made sense to me either. Does it mean that you would have to actually touch someone else's mickey in order to touch her with it, or would you just gently nudge him from behind?

Professor Moriarty

mzungu wrote: »

Personally, I think PUA is utter waffle. I should get that out there from the start. I also don't care (nor does anybody) that you prefer younger women. Your business, not mine.

You say PUA is about "improving yourself" and to "stop viewing women as mythical creatures." Then why did you feel the need to denigrate women in their 30s and 40s pretty much from your initial post in this thread? That's insecurity, not self-improvement.

I think it's less PUA and more WUM.

mzungu

Ted Johnson wrote: »

It's not waffle though. Maybe you should reading some yourself? And I don't mean a Guardian tier review of the Mystery Method.

I know enough about it to safely state that it is indeed waffle and definitely not for me. So no thank you.

Ted Johnson wrote: »

As for the Cat Ladies, well they exist. Are bitter single older women a protected class now?

You are proving my point. You seem to be completely incapable of referring to women over a certain age in a respectful manner. You reach straight for insults. Again, where is the self improvement in this?

You see, this is part of the multitude of reasons why right-thinking men don't gravitate towards PUA.

Professor Moriarty

Professor Moriarty wrote: »

I think it's less PUA and more WUM.

I suspect so. There's something very unconvincing about his posts, the level of overkill!

Ted Johnson

mzungu wrote: »

I know enough about it to safely state that it is indeed waffle and definitely not for me. So no thank you.



You are proving my point. You seem to be completely incapable of referring to women over a certain age in a respectful manner. You reach straight for insults. Again, where is the self improvement in this?

You see, this is part of the multitude of reasons why right-thinking men don't gravitate towards PUA.

Don't really care about your offence over the Cat Ladies. But let's talk about pua.

Seems as a man you can't win. You're expected to be born a natural. Most men aren't, some are hopless with women. I certainly was in my early 20s.

So I worked and studied and improved my game. But that now makes me the bad guy.

Oh well, at the end of the day I'm the one laughing.

Feisar