Wedding guests not giving gifts (Mod note in 1st post!)

Springfields

teednab-el wrote: »

Most people don't see it that way. Have you had a wedding recently?

Most people do see it that way...?! You do sound miserable. And yes I've had a wedding recently and I had no clue about who gave what ..was too busy enjoying myself...only weeks later did we do thank you cards...and don't even remember if anyone didn't give something and frankly I don't really care. They came and we had a brilliant day..That's all I wanted...Ps we were still getting gifts up to a year later so no everyone gives something on the day...much to your annoyance I'm sure..

Big Words

I bet the ones that didn’t pay are driving around now in their new Jeepy type cars. Hyundai Kona, Kuga.

Ursus Horribilis

Big Words wrote: »

I bet the ones that didn’t pay are driving around now in their new Jeepy type cars. Hyundai Kona, Kuga.

The bad karma will get them. Mark my words.

baby and crumble

teednab-el wrote: »

Jesus christ is there people like that out there unbelievable.

What, people who don't run weddings to make money? And who actually want the company of others?

teednab-el

I have to say the amount of bandwangoners on here is something astounding. I know if I had to pick 10 of you who had a wedding of similar scale ye would be the first to complain if money wasn't given. Ireland is a funny owl country.

witchgirl26

teednab-el wrote: »

Yes it does bother me. People turning up without a present is an insult. Just because you don't agree with it doesn't mean it's right.

But you gave out about couples who came with a present that wasn't up to your standards of expectation so which is it? Is there a price limit in your head as to what is an insult as a present and what isn't? Maybe you should have included that information in the wedding invite.

teednab-el wrote: »

Jesus christ is there people like that out there unbelievable.

What people who think of others and ask for charity donations as wedding presents rather than grabbing the cash for themselves? Or people who aren't in a great position financially?

I know a couple who had an account with the travel agent that was managing their honeymoon. People could opt to give in something towards it (they'd been together years so had lots of the normal presents & they were doing something a bit out there for their honeymoon). The travel agent just gave them a list of who had donated so they could include it in the thank you cards but never told them who gave what.

Big Words

Ursus Horribilis wrote: »

The bad karma will get them. Mark my words.

The balloon pcp payment.

teednab-el

Springfields wrote: »

Most people do see it that way...?! You do sound miserable. And yes I've had a wedding recently and I had no clue about who gave what ..was too busy enjoying myself...only weeks later did we do thank you cards...and don't even remember if anyone didn't give something and frankly I don't really care. They came and we had a brilliant day..That's all I wanted...Ps we were still getting gifts up to a year later so no everyone gives something on the day...much to your annoyance I'm sure..

Yes but are a bit foolish it seems also to think that.

red petal

@ OP, I'm just curious, having read 13 odd pages of people's opinions, do you still feel the same as when you started the thread?

Ursus Horribilis

So how much would you have liked per head from your guests?

Tom Mann Centuria

Im sure the fees for the wedding photos from VIP magazine or Farmers Journal will cover the shortfall in takings.

baby and crumble

teednab-el wrote: »

I have to say the amount of bandwangoners on here is something astounding. I know if I had to pick 10 of you who had a wedding of similar scale ye would be the first to complain if money wasn't given. Ireland is a funny owl country.

But almost every single person here has told you the opposite. Why are you so determined to call us all liars?

Springfields

teednab-el wrote: »

Yes but are a bit foolish it seems also to think that.

?? That makes no sense ?

red petal

teednab-el wrote: »

I have to say the amount of bandwangoners on here is something astounding. I know if I had to pick 10 of you who had a wedding of similar scale ye would be the first to complain if money wasn't given. Ireland is a funny owl country.

The scale of your wedding is surely proportionate to what you can afford. If you held a big wedding, surely you could afford it and therefore shouldn't need you "insulting" friends to pick up the tab, no?

tayto lover

This is why I detest going to weddings, the guests are expected to cover the costs.
Why don’t people just go and get married and take their two families for a meal and then feck off on their honeymoon?
No, instead they want to put people to the trouble of taking a day off work, pay for babysitters, pay b&b and put a few hundred euro in an envelope.
Get over yourselves. Big weddings should be a thing of the past.

Green&Red

teednab-el wrote: »

How was I to know they wouldn't pay for their dinner?

YOU invited them, they wouldn’t have been there unless YOU had asked them.

When YOU invite someone out for dinner YOU pay for it


I’m presuming this is a wind up?

Dial Hard

red petal wrote: »

@ OP, I'm just curious, having read 13 odd pages of people's opinions, do you still feel the same as when you started the thread?

By the looks of things he's actually gotten more entrenched in his position. Anyone who disagrees with him is now a bandwaggoner.

Big Words

Dial Hard wrote: »

By the looks of things he's actually gotten more entrenched in his position. Anyone who disagrees with him is now a bandwaggoner.

Didn’t realize there was that many lakers baseball fans here.

endacl

red petal wrote: »

@ OP, I'm just curious, having read 13 odd pages of people's opinions, do you still feel the same as when you started the thread?

The Fortress of Entitlement is defended by the Moat of My Special Day.

Tell us, OP. Did the well behaved guests give enough to cover the cost of your fantasy? T’would be a pity if you didn’t get the honeymoon out of it too.

MrMusician18

baby and crumble wrote: »

This is exactly the type of attitude that appalls me.

OP we got married 15 months or so ago. We did keep a list of who gave what simply so we could mention it in the thank-you cards. I know there are a load of our friends and family who either are not flush with cash or saving for something, or about to start a family. I'd be MORTIFIED if they thought they couldn't come to our wedding, which is a party we wanted to throw for our friends to celebrate something lovely happening to us. We had a present list available if people wanted it (with stuff from a fiver in Ikea etc. that we really wanted) so folks could get us something small that they knew we wanted and would appreciate without breaking the bank. I was a bit embarrassed having the list but it went down a storm.

Honestly one of the best presents we got was a star trek themed pizza cutter. It's AWESOME and every time we have pizza I think of the lovely friend who got it for us.

I would always try and bring something to a wedding if we are lucky enough to be invited ( I LOVE a good wedding but most of my bloody friends are commitment-phobes or you know, have only been allowed get married since 2015!). Having said that I was invited to my friends wedding when I was unemployed and on the dole. I had no money to spare, I couldn't even afford to stay in the hotel for the night or to drink anything but water when I was there. So he got a piece of art that i could afford.

You'd want to cop yourself on, OP.

Lots of people here would say having a wedding list is a bit presumptuous, especially when the justification is "oh there's cheap stuff on the list too!".

Well done to the OP though, lots of little triggers within that post that were bound to set off the masses on these forums.

You ask what can you do about the people who did not give you a gift. Apart from asking them or letting it colour your judgement of them in future, not a lot I'm afraid.

Toots

Lads, I know I'm going to be incredibly unpopular here, but I think this thread has run its course.

I'm undecided whether the OP is trolling or not, but assuming they aren't, the opinion/advice on the thread has been pretty much unanimous. However the OP hasn't indicated that they've taken any of it on board, so I'm going to close the thread before it gets more out of hand.