Anyone else enjoy being single?

Sunny Disposition

It's definitely possible to be fairly happy on your own, certainly for a man. But I think it's hard if you don't have a few good friends who are single also. Of course its still possible, but you're quite likely to be lonely.
I don't think there's a thing in the world wrong with being single, but it's a bit depressing if people close themselves off from the possibility of having a relationship.

Sorry about that

Sorry about that wrote: »

You mean not working out like this:

In 2017, there were 15,833 disclosures of domestic violence against women noted during 21,451 contacts with Women's Aid Direct Services. There were 10,281 incidents of emotional abuse, 3,502 incidents of physical abuse and 1,443 incidents of financial abuse disclosed. In the same year, 607 incidents of sexual abuse were disclosed to our services including 323 rapes. The Women's Aid National Helpline responded to 15,952 calls in 2016. (Women's Aid Impact Report 2017)

Let's get the stats from Mens Aid. Oh wait, there isn't a mens aid. Well there is, Amen, but it isn't well known and doesn't have a fraction of the resources Women's Aid has.

Feisar

Feisar wrote: »

Well I can't bugger off on hols as I please, changing jobs is something for instance that'd have to be discussed, sure even the dinner if you think about it has to be something we both like. Aligning your life path with someone else will have restrictions or holds on one or compromises, well unless people lead almost separate lives.

You forgot the correct way to pack the dishwasher.

ginandtonicsky

ginandtonicsky wrote: »

I’ve got too many friends who sit around complaining about men or the apps and I’m like - but what did YOU do about it? Did you ask him out, did you make eye contact, smile, flirt, crack a joke? Text him telling him you like him? You have to meet people halfway, that’s the only way relationships have ever happened for me.

Some women seem to think being bitchy and sarcastic is the way to attract a guy they like.

Eircom_Sucks

Should get a group from here meet up once a month and have a laugh

Eircom_Sucks

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Some women seem to think being bitchy and sarcastic is the way to attract a guy they like.

I joined match.com and worst mistake ever

Im not a bad looking bloke by any means , but when you mail a woman a nice message , they view your profile and instantly block you based on your pics , and you can’t even ask why you were blocker etc , any that i have chatted too are so far up their rears its u real , all career career career , i don’t want to hear about your mundane poxy job thanks next

Just so uptight , wasnt like this 10 years ago

People so hung up on looks , me i just wanna find a lady with a cheeky grin or twinkle in her eye , but women seem to want the geordie shore rejects , ahhhh rant over

ToddyDoody

Woke Hogan wrote: »

While I’m sure there exceptions most of the people who claim to be happy being single scream “given up on myself” to me.

I must tell people that when they ask why I'm still single.

poisonated

Woke Hogan wrote: »

While I’m sure there exceptions most of the people who claim to be happy being single scream “given up on myself” to me.

I’m so sorry you have this mindset. Chin up.

Gimme A Pound

Deleted User wrote: »

Some women seem to think being bitchy and sarcastic is the way to attract a guy they like.

That's because of that "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" tripe some view as a suitable approach.

Widdershins

Well I thought the plan was to be single for the first time in my life but I keep running into a bit of a diversion..actually, two of them ... I don't know what to think . My life is confusing . It's a lot to process .

Maybe polyamory isn't such a bad idea . They could be like a little support group for each other when I get hard to put up with .

Woke Hogan

ToddyDoody wrote: »

I must tell people that when they ask why I'm still single.

Or you could stop making posts you read on the internet personally, I was speaking generally.

Woke Hogan

poisonated wrote: »

I’m so sorry you have this mindset. Chin up.

Chin up what? I have been happily married for decades.

ToddyDoody

Woke Hogan wrote: »

Or you could stop making posts you read on the internet personally, I was speaking generally.

I was replying in the abstract sense, not the personalisatic sense.

lainey_d_123

Woke Hogan wrote: »

Chin up what? I have been happily married for decades.

I don't know if it was how it was meant, but I took it to mean that they feel sorry for you for being judgemental and condescending.

Arghus

When I'm out gallivanting and having the craic it feels great.

When I'm hungover the next day it doesn't feel great.

ToddyDoody

Weird Mind Games wrote: »

No is the answer. When I was younger all I wanted to do was sleep with as many women as possible. I thought that was the key to happiness. I achieved that goal, to an extent, but it's a pretty meaningless way to live.

Now all I want is love, someone who gets me, a soul mate.

I don't care how gay that sounds.

That does sound incredibly gay. Is it something you'd be interested in?

Western Lowland Gorilla

I would consider myself happy enough being single but at the same time it might be nice not to be.

I don't see things changing for the forseeable though, as I have a few things to do in order to sort my life out :pac:

WinnyThePoo

Almost 30,Single and living on the bread line. So the thought of bankrupting myself to go on a date doesn't appeal.

Maybe down the line when things are financially better I might try one of the dating apps.

suicide_circus

Eircom_Sucks wrote: »

I joined match.com and worst mistake ever

Im not a bad looking bloke by any means , but when you mail a woman a nice message , they view your profile and instantly block you based on your pics , and you can’t even ask why you were blocker etc , any that i have chatted too are so far up their rears its u real , all career career career , i don’t want to hear about your mundane poxy job thanks next

people with no personality tend to talk about their jobs a lot. they also take up "interesting" hobbies and talk about how "mad" they are. watch out for a lot of talk about all the travelling theyve done, red alert.

Western Lowland Gorilla

WinnyThePoo wrote: »

Almost 30,Single and living on the bread line. So the thought of bankrupting myself to go on a date doesn't appeal.

Maybe down the line when things are financially better I might try one of the dating apps.

Agreed.

"Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm broke as f*ck and can't afford you"

yourdeadwright

WinnyThePoo wrote: »

Almost 30,Single and living on the bread line. So the thought of bankrupting myself to go on a date doesn't appeal.

Maybe down the line when things are financially better I might try one of the dating apps.

Loads of ways to go on a date without spending money,
Best first date is to meet for a coffee won't cost ye the world plus if it isn't what you hoped for ye can leave fairly sharpish ,

Fro mthere you oculd go for a walk or whatever,

As a great man once said " if you want to get into the box you have to think outside the box "

Ps iv no idea who said that or if there is a gender fluid version

Eircom_Sucks

suicide_circus wrote: »

people with no personality tend to talk about their jobs a lot. they also take up "interesting" hobbies and talk about how "mad" they are. watch out for a lot of talk about all the travelling theyve done, red alert.

100 % you have had this crap too

Or their many pics of them on machu pichu lol

Dial Hard

yourdeadwright wrote: »

Loads of ways to go on a date without spending money,
Best first date is to meet for a coffee won't cost ye the world plus if it isn't what you hoped for ye can leave fairly sharpish

I can totally see where they're coming from, tbh. I was unemployed for a period in 2017 and I had less than zero interest in dating because of it. I simply didn't feel like I was the best version of myself at the time and really didn't want to get into a dating scenario where all we could ever do was, essentially, free stuff.

Daisy78

Eircom_Sucks wrote: »

100 % you have had this crap too

Or their many pics of them on machu pichu lol

Right so no talking about what they do for a living, any places they might have been to or hobbies. So what exactly are they supposed to talk about?!

lainey_d_123

Daisy78 wrote: »

Right so no talking about what they do for a living, any places they might have been to or hobbies. So what exactly are they supposed to talk about?!

Comes across as jealousy to me tbh. I've never found someone who has travelled all over the world boring.

EmmetSpiceland

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Comes across as jealousy to me tbh. I've never found someone who has travelled all over the world boring.

I know one lad who went on his travels years ago and haven’t heard the end of it since. Give him any excuse and he’ll bang on and on about this place or that.

He even had a blog going at the time. Made for some boring reading.

Tell me how

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I know one lad who went on his travels years ago and haven’t heard the end of it since. Give him any excuse and he’ll bang on and on about this place or that.

He even had a blog going at the time. Made for some boring reading.

But you still read it though.......

Eircom_Sucks

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Comes across as jealousy to me tbh. I've never found someone who has travelled all over the world boring.

Hardly jealousy when ive been to usa , australia , basecamp everest , europe , family holiday home in malaga , but i don’t bore people with these facts

Tell me how

Eircom_Sucks wrote: »

Hardly jealousy when ive been to usa , australia , basecamp everest , europe , family holiday home in malaga , but i don’t bore people with these facts

You just bored me.

TomasMacR

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

I know one lad who went on his travels years ago and haven’t heard the end of it since. Give him any excuse and he’ll bang on and on about this place or that.

He even had a blog going at the time. Made for some boring reading.

Bit more detail needed. Was he on a year working holiday visa staying on Bondi beach drinking in a local Irish bar with the rest of his pals from Navan or did he spend years in a Papua New Guinea rainforest studying some rare beetle with only a baboon to keep him company which he ended up making love to every so often.

givyjoe

TomasMacR wrote: »

Bit more detail needed. Was he on a year working holiday visa staying on Bondi beach drinking in a local Irish bar with the rest of his pals from Navan or did he spend years in a Papua New Guinea rainforest studying some rare beetle with only a baboon to keep him company which he ended up making love to every so often.

This beats your last odd post hands down. 😬

lainey_d_123

Eircom_Sucks wrote: »

Hardly jealousy when ive been to usa , australia , basecamp everest , europe , family holiday home in malaga , but i don’t bore people with these facts

Maybe the way you talk about it is boring. Don't see how someone talking about exciting stuff they did and were passionate about could be boring.

Dalomanakora

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Maybe the way you talk about it is boring. Don't see how someone talking about exciting stuff they did and were passionate about could be boring.

Have to agree here. I've a friend in work who has done an awful lot of travelling before she moved to Ireland. Even hearing her talk about her recent weekend in Kilkenny is fascinating to me because she's a wonderful story teller and gets really into the history of places she visits.

pgj2015

Sunny Disposition wrote: »

It's definitely possible to be fairly happy on your own, certainly for a man. But I think it's hard if you don't have a few good friends who are single also. Of course its still possible, but you're quite likely to be lonely.
I don't think there's a thing in the world wrong with being single, but it's a bit depressing if people close themselves off from the possibility of having a relationship.

Not if that is what they want.

fin12

lainey_d_123 wrote: »

Comes across as jealousy to me tbh. I've never found someone who has travelled all over the world boring.

There’s nothing wrong with someone talking about where they have travelled, it’s when they judge others and look down on someone for not being as travelled as them. Some people don’t have any interest in going off back packing doesn’t make them any less interesting than the person that has.

mvl

I could probably get myself in a solid state of content being single, but every time I was happy beyond everything I was also coupled one way or another.
Stumbled upon this article about a happiness recession (18-34 band) in America. Copying a paragraph from it here.

This analysis revealed that changes in sexual frequency can account for about one-third of the decline in happiness since 2012 and almost 100 percent of the decline in happiness since 2014. If Americans still had sex like they did in 2008, or even 2012, we might be a much happier country. Declines in marriage and religiosity have also played some role, but the effects are much smaller—with each factor only accounting for about a tenth of the decline in happiness. And, but for the rise in regular friend contact over the past few years, young men and women would be even less happy.
In other words, Americans are offsetting some of the lost community and companionship of spouses and churches with closer ties to friends. But those friendships don’t give young Americans the sex life that made previous generations happier.

Widdershins

fin12 wrote: »

There’s nothing wrong with someone talking about where they have travelled, it’s when they judge others and look down on someone for not being as travelled as them. Some people don’t have any interest in going off back packing doesn’t make them any less interesting than the person that has.

This. If we all did the same things and only gravitated to people with the same life experiences it'd defeat the purpose of travelling or talking to new people ...

KathleenGrant

I have been in 2 very ltr's and was made single all of a sudden almost 6 months ago. It was not my choice and I was devastated. I have not been single since i was 19. And now these past 2 months I feel great. People are commenting on how happy I look. I feel positive about my life. I am enjoying the freedom of doing things at the drop of a hat for the first time. I have zero interest in a relationship. I am happy to look out for me for once.

Of course I am in a different place than a lot of people here. I have a family and I definitely would not change that.

Daisy78

Daisy78 wrote: »

Right so no talking about what they do for a living, any places they might have been to or hobbies. So what exactly are they supposed to talk about?!

People who talk about interesting jobs and interesting hobbies and the interesting places they have been to are only boring in the alternative universe of AH.

ancapailldorcha

Candie wrote: »

People who talk about interesting jobs and interesting hobbies and the interesting places they have been to are only boring in the alternative universe of AH.

A bit sad, isn't it?

ancapailldorcha

ancapailldorcha wrote: »

A bit sad, isn't it?

Very. Smacks of insecurity.

orourkeda1977

relationships are overrated and marriage is a glorified business arrangement

misstearheus

<<< likes a dark horse....

Jus' sayin'...

fin12

orourkeda1977 wrote: »

relationships are overrated and marriage is a glorified business arrangement

I agree, I think money has got a lot to do with marriages and even why some people are still stuck together , people can’t even afford to break up now...

kunst nugget

Candie wrote: »

People who talk about interesting jobs and interesting hobbies and the interesting places they have been to are only boring in the alternative universe of AH.

Eh, it all depends... If you go off on an monologue about any of these without letting anyone else contribute to the conversation or constantly turn the talk back to your interesting job, hobby or travel, then it can get tedious. Conversation should be a two way street.

Plus, what you might find interesting, others might find deathly dull so you have to be cognisant of the person you're talking to - for instance one of my hobbies would be to kick back and spend some time playing the PS4 and I find the games for the most part really interesting. I would almost never bring it up though because I know most people would find it completely boring.

Charles Ingles

Nobody wants to be single.

Gimme A Pound

Charles Ingles wrote: »

Nobody wants to be single.

Try to bear in mind that your view is not the same as everyone else's.

Nobody wants to be single *forever* (and not literally nobody because a tiny number do - more than likely due to an unusual situation like being asexual) but many perfectly well adjusted and attractive people need time alone on occasion, e.g. after a difficult break-up.

And people who cannot fathom life being single even for a temporary period, seem extremely needy.

Tell me how

Charles Ingles wrote: »

Nobody wants to be single.

Read the thread. Allow your mind to be open to other opinions.

.......

Charles Ingles wrote: »

Nobody wants to be single.

Nonsense, I know a number of people who have actively avoided relationships by choice in their lives and are now elderly and have no regrets.

kunst nugget

....... wrote: »

Nonsense, I know a number of people who have actively avoided relationships by choice in their lives and are now elderly and have no regrets.

And right arms that could crush steel.