Issue with new creche

CramCycle

So a few years ago, we started in a new creche, it was brilliant, and has probably set up unrealistic expectations for what a creche should be. Anyway, just before my son became an afterschooler, they decided that cost wise, it was unfeasible anymore and they were scrapping afterschool care. After frantic searching, we got lucky a day or two before school start and he got a place on the school premises.

Hurrah. No drop offs but it was close and the staff were caring, it would work. Overtime though, with work it became increasingly difficult to work to their schedule. Nothing to do with them, he loved the staff but we found another creche nearby that done drop offs, collections, hot dinners, loads of facilities. They had a space, and came highly recommended. We had viewed it a few years before and were happy enough with it.

Got a call from my sons teacher this morning. Teacher found him standing outside on his own this morning. The person walking him in left him there, and he was confused as normally they walk them in, in a group. Never came back. One of the other teachers seen him through a window waiting with no one around. He said he didn't know what to do as the childminder never came back, and they just walked off with another child.

Now he could have not followed, or they may have said, be back in a minute, this is OK with me, maybe not others, but the fact is they never came back or checked he made it in the door OK.

I honestly don't know what to do. I am upset but I don't have any choices about childcare and don't want to give out to them as I haven't much of a choice bar quitting my job. I am sure it was a simple, although possibly horrendous, mistake. What should I say to them, is there anything that would restore your trust or is it a case that I just have to suck it up and wait till a place comes up elsewhere?

Not even sure what i am asking, I am just so annoyed with myself for picking them, and now I don't know what to do. Am I overreacting, or am I underreacting?

Big Bag of Chips

How old is your son? I don't really understand what happened. Where was he, and why did he not go into school himself? In our school, and most schools I know of from around the second week of junior infants, children are dropped at the gate and walk in by themselves. It sounds like your minding facility walk them in to the classrooms? That in itself sounds unusual.

Have a chat with your boy, tell him that if he's ever outside when the bell rings that he goes straight to class, just like at break time.

Maybe have a chat with the minders to let them know what happened too, but I'm not sure if they're at fault if he was on school premises.

CramCycle

He is Junior Infants, school and cre have a policy that children are walked to the classroom when in Infants. He was told not to go anywhere without the person from cre. She walked them to the door and turned around, so he just stood there waiting outside as no one told him different. His class had already gone in so no line to follow. I suppose it was odd she didn't walk them inside the door, but just left them outside when the older ones pegged it in.

Anyway, talked to the cre, minder normally does different school which has a drop at door policy, the older kids ran in and she turned away.

The school door is on auto lock so you can't get in without someone to buzz you in, suppose the fear was he could have walked home and no one there.

Anyway, an easy but worrying error to make creche talked about a reprimand for the staff but I was happy enough that they just reminded everyone on school runs about different school procedures. Suppose I was more upset for him than at them.

Littlelamb2

CramCycle wrote: »

So a few years ago, we started in a new creche, it was brilliant, and has probably set up unrealistic expectations for what a creche should be. Anyway, just before my son became an afterschooler, they decided that cost wise, it was unfeasible anymore and they were scrapping afterschool care. After frantic searching, we got lucky a day or two before school start and he got a place on the school premises.



Hurrah. No drop offs but it was close and the staff were caring, it would work. Overtime though, with work it became increasingly difficult to work to their schedule. Nothing to do with them, he loved the staff but we found another creche nearby that done drop offs, collections, hot dinners, loads of facilities. They had a space, and came highly recommended. We had viewed it a few years before and were happy enough with it.

Got a call from my sons teacher this morning. Teacher found him standing outside on his own this morning. The person walking him in left him there, and he was confused as normally they walk them in, in a group. Never came back. One of the other teachers seen him through a window waiting with no one around. He said he didn't know what to do as the childminder never came back, and they just walked off with another child.

Now he could have not followed, or they may have said, be back in a minute, this is OK with me, maybe not others, but the fact is they never came back or checked he made it in the door OK.

I honestly don't know what to do. I am upset but I don't have any choices about childcare and don't want to give out to them as I haven't much of a choice bar quitting my job. I am sure it was a simple, although possibly horrendous, mistake. What should I say to them, is there anything that would restore your trust or is it a case that I just have to suck it up and wait till a place comes up elsewhere?

Not even sure what i am asking, I am just so annoyed with myself for picking them, and now I don't know what to do. Am I overreacting, or am I underreacting?

Why not work around your child and drop him off yourself?

jlm29

Littlelamb2 wrote: »

Why not work around your child and drop him off yourself?

Unfortunately this isn’t possible for an awful lot of people

CramCycle

Littlelamb2 wrote: »

Why not work around your child and drop him off yourself?

I have and still do on occasion. Not sure what the point of your question is. When it's possible, I do, when it's not, I don't. Depending on my circumstances I could give a 1000 different answers, all of which are valid. I am quite lucky I have the opportunity on occasion, many parents don't, and I imagine you would be met with a less polite response from one of those parents who don't have that opportunity. I know a few of the parents in my child's class and, the same as they have done for me, if I am there I tell them they can scoot if they want me to bring their kid in with mine. Those 5 minutes can relieve alot of stress for some people.

Littlelamb2

CramCycle wrote: »

I have and still do on occasion. Not sure what the point of your question is. When it's possible, I do, when it's not, I don't. Depending on my circumstances I could give a 1000 different answers, all of which are valid. I am quite lucky I have the opportunity on occasion, many parents don't, and I imagine you would be met with a less polite response from one of those parents who don't have that opportunity. I know a few of the parents in my child's class and, the same as they have done for me, if I am there I tell them they can scoot if they want me to bring their kid in with mine. Those 5 minutes can relieve alot of stress for some people.

My point is your child would not be standing outside worried if you had of been there

Why so defensive?

iamwhoiam

Your first port of call is to chat to the creche and what is worrying you
It might just be a misunderstanding that can be rectified
I bring a grandchild to Juniior Infants and they line up outside then all walk in with the treacher
Maybe the minder was not aware of school policy

iamwhoiam

Littlelamb2 wrote: »

My point is your child would not be standing outside worried if you had of been there

Why so defensive?

You do understand that not everyone has a choice of what time they start work ? Not everyone is flexible . The OP is doing the best she can I'm sure .

Littlelamb2

iamwhoiam wrote: »

You do understand that not everyone has a choice of what time they start work ? Not everyone is flexible . The OP is doing the best she can I'm sure .

Nope but everyone has a choice on whether they prioritise their children's needs before their own. The best I can do would definitely not constitute my child being left standing outside school which as a parent is my responsibility.
The best I can do is not blaming a crèche because I have failed in my role.
The best I can do is being there for my child when they need me
And the best I can do is to make sure my child doesn't start the day off anxious and worried.
The best I can do is that my child has an ability to learn in class because they feel secure

iamwhoiam

Littlelamb2 wrote: »

Nope but everyone has a choice on whether they prioritise their children's needs before their own. The best I can do would definitely not constitute my child being left standing outside school which as a parent is my responsibility.
The best I can do is not blaming a crèche because I have failed in my role.
The best I can do is being there for my child when they need me
And the best I can do is to make sure my child doesn't start the day off anxious and worried.
The best I can do is that my child has an ability to learn in class because they feel secure

Aren't you just wonderful .


" rolls eyes "

Dravokivich

Littlelamb2 wrote: »

Nope but everyone has a choice on whether they prioritise their children's needs before their own. The best I can do would definitely not constitute my child being left standing outside school which as a parent is my responsibility.
The best I can do is not blaming a crèche because I have failed in my role.
The best I can do is being there for my child when they need me
And the best I can do is to make sure my child doesn't start the day off anxious and worried.
The best I can do is that my child has an ability to learn in class because they feel secure

[Mod]

Little lamb, please be more constructive when responding here.

loalae

Littlelamb2 wrote: »

Nope but everyone has a choice on whether they prioritise their children's needs before their own. The best I can do would definitely not constitute my child being left standing outside school which as a parent is my responsibility.
The best I can do is not blaming a crèche because I have failed in my role.
The best I can do is being there for my child when they need me
And the best I can do is to make sure my child doesn't start the day off anxious and worried.
The best I can do is that my child has an ability to learn in class because they feel secure

Are you serious? Some people need to get others to bring their children to school. The OP has entrusted this task to a childmindung business who were responsible for the child at the time. The query is how to broach it with the creche. Why are you trying to guilt the OP for being a working parent?

I think if this happened to me I would be speaking to the creche to find out what happened, say that your child was upset and ask for clarity about what should happen. The you can reassure your boy and tell him what to do in the future.

Sorry about that

A stern word citing child protection guidelines should do the trick OP, and I’m sure it won’t happen again, at least with your child.

Also, you could teach him a little plan of action in the event of something similar happening. Very stressful for you, but try not to seem too upset in front of him, make it like a little mishap, but not the end of the world, and let him suggest what he’d do if it did happen again.

Teddy Daniels

Littlelamb2 wrote: »

Nope but everyone has a choice on whether they prioritise their children's needs before their own. The best I can do would definitely not constitute my child being left standing outside school which as a parent is my responsibility.
The best I can do is not blaming a crèche because I have failed in my role.
The best I can do is being there for my child when they need me
And the best I can do is to make sure my child doesn't start the day off anxious and worried.
The best I can do is that my child has an ability to learn in class because they feel secure

Do you have a child ?

grazer

Littlelamb2 wrote: »

Nope but everyone has a choice on whether they prioritise their children's needs before their own. The best I can do would definitely not constitute my child being left standing outside school which as a parent is my responsibility.
The best I can do is not blaming a crèche because I have failed in my role.
The best I can do is being there for my child when they need me
And the best I can do is to make sure my child doesn't start the day off anxious and worried.
The best I can do is that my child has an ability to learn in class because they feel secure

Jesus, this is a ridiculous and patronising post from Littlelamb2. OP has posted about a particular issue that occurred, not his/her parenting & minding choices.

OP - I'd have a meeting with creche to understand exactly what happened, why it happened, and to ensure both you and minder understand and agree on exactly what the procedure is when leaving your child to school. And that it's not to be deviated from. Talk to teacher again first if necessary, to have full clarity on what they saw.

Dravokivich

[Mod]

Folks, please let mods handle other posters that may be considered disruptive to the thread. By all means, help us by reporting them. But some of the comments that have followed, could typically need action too.

salmocab

OP talk to the crèche it sounds like a misunderstanding, whilst a crappy thing to happen to the child it probably isn’t worth doing too much about. Let them know the child was upset and your not happy about that incident. If your happy with everything else there let them know how you feel and get them to ensure it won’t happen again and then move on.

splinter65

Littlelamb2 wrote: »

4 actually. And I hold down a high earning job and leave my children to school myself. Your point?

You don’t accept at all that others aren’t lucky enough to have jobs that allow them to leave their children to school themselves, but they nonetheless need to go to work?

CramCycle

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Your first port of call is to chat to the creche and what is worrying you
It might just be a misunderstanding that can be rectified
I bring a grandchild to Juniior Infants and they line up outside then all walk in with the treacher
Maybe the minder was not aware of school policy

100% already done, I was just a bit upset after getting a call from the teacher. Talked with the manager and they seemed honest about the mistake made, and I appreciate that. They talked about a reprimand for the person who.made the error but I made it clear that wasn't necessary. I'd prefer just maybe a set of instructions for each school, so if someone gets swapped out, they can read the other schools SOP on the bus ride in. They agreed that was a good idea and something they should have done already.

Suppose my response was more emotional, thinking of my son standing alone outside. Happy that it's been resolved.

Qrt

Bit of a different angle here, but when I was 4, I was left locked out of my school. I went to the toilet during break on the yard, came back, everyone had gone, and I had to do a lot of knocking on windows to get back in. I was quite confused, but I guess it helped me deal with situations I'd experience in the future.

Basically, once your kid is okay, that's all that matters, but keep an eye out.

splinter65

Littlelamb2 wrote: »

We all need to work. Maybe just don't choose long commute etc

Not everyone has the luxury of choosing where and when they work.
I must say that if you are in fact working as a qualified clinical psychologist then it’s absolutely chilling to think that someone with such an obvious disconnect from the reality of real peoples lives would be allowed to treat patients. Terrifying.

iamwhoiam

CramCycle wrote: »

100% already done, I was just a bit upset after getting a call from the teacher. Talked with the manager and they seemed honest about the mistake made, and I appreciate that. They talked about a reprimand for the person who.made the error but I made it clear that wasn't necessary. I'd prefer just maybe a set of instructions for each school, so if someone gets swapped out, they can read the other schools SOP on the bus ride in. They agreed that was a good idea and something they should have done already.

Suppose my response was more emotional, thinking of my son standing alone outside. Happy that it's been resolved.

Well done , that was a great way to handle it .I always find if I approach a problem without screaming or shouting it often gets done quicker .,I know how upset you must have felt , just for your own sake do you know any other parent who brings a child ? Maybe they could be aware of your little fella and see that he is in safe ?

salmocab

iamwhoiam wrote: »

Well done , that was a great way to handle it .I always find if I approach a problem without screaming or shouting it often gets done quicker .,I know how upset you must have felt

Bang on the OP handled it well. It sounds like an honest mistake and not something to go nuclear over.